tonyandsilvia1994 Reviews

Sanctuary: A Witch's Tale (2024– )

Terrible

[2/10 · 3 February 2024]

Sanctuary: A Witch's Tale falls short in several key aspects, leaving much to be desired. The acting is cringe-worthy, with performances that often border on amateurish, failing to convey the depth required for a magical fantasy. The poor writing exacerbates the problem, delivering a lackluster narrative that struggles to engage players. Characters utter lines that feel forced and devoid of authenticity, detracting from the overall immersive experience.

Moreover, the insistence on ridiculous accents (the Irish cast all speak like the British Royal Family) adds an additional layer of annoyance, further disconnecting viewers from the world. In the realm of magical tales.

Midsomer Murders, Father Brown and the ilk know who their target audience is. This show takes itself much too seriously.

Quantum Leap: This Took Too Long! (2023) Season 2, Episode 1

My IQ dropped the longer I watched it.

[1/10 · 6 October 2023]

I was sceptical when to was announced Quantum Leap was coming back. That said, Series 1 was quite enjoyable. Some episodes were better than others, as you would expect.

So series 2 comes around and this episode is a terrible start. Where do I begin? Firstly, the feminist and gay angles. I have no problem with this when it's done well. However, it is not the case here. Both the female protagonist's battle against sexism and the guy's declaration of loving another man were shoe horned in, and as subtle as a sledgehammer. It doesn't do either cause any favours.

The worst part is the 'action'. The SAM site action is laughable, with the model work making the original Thunderbirds look like Avatar. The soldiers (or is it air force?) staff shouting at each other within ear shot of the SAM site was particularly ridiculous.

There is one point where it looks like the production crew had forgotten to turn the stars on, as all at once, every star in the firmament lights up. Imagine a big piece of black card, with pin pricks in it, and a light bulb being turned on behind it. That's what it looked like.

And there is a particular performer in this who just rehashes their performance from another series they were in.

Please do better Quantum Leap.

Brooklyn 45 (2023)

Not for me I'm afraid

[4/10 · 10 June 2023]

In the last week, I have had the misfortune to watch two of Geoghegan's films. First, it was the amateurish "We Are Still Here with Larry Fessenden doing his usual quirky weirdo thing.

This week it was Brooklyn 45. Fessenden does less of his schtick in Brooklyn 45, in fact he is almost unrecognisable, but his acting is still poor. Anne Ramsey on the other hand is the best thing in this. I genuinely feel sorry for her that she got herself into this.

The story is interesting. The war veterans just can't let go of what they've been through. Unfortunately, the delivery is poor and stagey. I didn't believe in any of the characters, and as good as Ramsey is, I didn't have her as an interrogator. And I didn't think for a minute Buzzington was or had every been a Major. Fessenden as a Colonel? No chance.

The good thing is the movie doesn't out stay its welcome and has a nice short run time. Average movie, that I wouldn't recommend going out of your way to watch..

The Damned (1962)

Entertaining Oddity

[7/10 · 1 March 2023]

"These Are the Damned" is a 1963 science-fiction/horror film from Hammer, directed by Joseph Losey, based on the novel "The Children of Light" by H. L. Lawrence. The movie is a curious and complex mix of genres, blending elements of social commentary, suspense, and dystopian fiction, with a touch of juvenile delinquency and biker culture thrown in for good measure. The result is a fascinating and unsettling experience, one that stays with the viewer long after the credits roll.

The story follows an American tourist named Simon Wells (a clearly too old for the love story angle Macdonald Carey), who visits the coastal town of Weymouth in southern England and becomes involved with a young woman named Joan (Shirley Anne Field). They are mixed up with a group of mysterious and dangerous bikers run by her delinquent brother King (Oliver Reed). The three encounter a secret underground bunker, run by a mad scientist named Bernard (Alexander Knox), who has created a race of mutated children who are immune to radiation, but also possess dangerous psychic powers that he hopes to use for his own ends. As Simon, Joan, and King navigate the dark and twisted world of the bunker, they must confront their own fears, desires, and prejudices, and decide where their loyalties lie.

The film is notable for its bold and experimental visual style, which combines gritty realism with surrealistic imagery and abstract montages. The stark black-and-white cinematography by Arthur Grant is particularly striking, capturing the bleak and desolate landscape of Weymouth and the ominous interiors of the bunker with equal intensity. The film's use of sound is also noteworthy, with a haunting and otherworldly score by James Bernard, and a mix of naturalistic and distorted sounds that create a sense of disorientation and dread.

The performances are uniformly strong, with Carey and Field delivering nuanced and complex portrayals of their respective characters. Carey's Simon is a jaded and cynical outsider who gradually becomes more empathetic and courageous as he learns the truth about the bunker and its inhabitants. Field's Joan is a conflicted and vulnerable young woman who is torn between her loyalty to her brother and her growing affection for Simon. Reed is equally impressive as King, portraying a mix of charisma and menace that is both unsettling and sympathetic.

The film's themes are also intriguing and thought-provoking, touching on issues of social inequality, scientific ethics, and the dangers of unchecked power. The mutants, who are initially portrayed as pitiful and helpless victims, gradually become more complex and even sympathetic as their true nature is revealed. Bernard, the scientist who created them, is a complex and morally ambiguous figure, whose actions are both driven by a desire to save humanity and a ruthless pursuit of his own goals.

If I have criticisms, it's that the Carey/Field romance doesn't convince. He seems like he's taking advantage of her, as opposed to falling for her. The romance appears to be a convenience to drive the plot along. Also, The first act focusses too much on the biker gang who are, in effect, a red herring.

Overall, "These Are the Damned" is an interesting and unsettling film that defies easy categorisation. Its blend of genres, styles, and themes creates a rich and layered experience that rewards repeated viewings. Though it may be too bleak and ambiguous for some viewers, those who appreciate challenging and thought-provoking cinema will find much to admire in this underrated gem.

The Rapture (1991)

A weird concoction

[4/10 · 1 March 2023]

The Rapture, a film that attempts to explore deep questions of faith, salvation and the end of the world, ultimately falls short of its lofty ambitions. The first problem with this film lies in the acting. The performances are flat, unconvincing and lack any real emotional depth, leaving the viewer feeling disconnected and unmoved by the story. Mimi Rodgers' "Road to Damascus" moment happens all too quickly. She literally walks into a shower a swinger, and leaves it a born again Christian. The dialogue also feels stilted and unnatural, making it difficult to fully engage with the characters and their motivations.

Furthermore, The Rapture's heavy-handed Christian propaganda feels forced and preachy, overwhelming the story with a sense of religious dogma that may turn off many viewers. While the film tries to tackle complex theological themes, it ultimately boils them down to a simplistic, black and white perspective that fails to capture the nuances and complexities of belief and faith.

The writing of The Rapture is also problematic, with a disjointed and confusing narrative. The film's pacing is slow and plodding, making the already daft plot even more difficult to follow. The climax, which should have been a powerful moment of revelation, feels rushed and unsatisfying, leaving the viewer with more questions than answers.

Overall, The Rapture is a disappointing film that fails to deliver on its promise of exploring deep questions of faith and salvation. With lackluster performances, heavy-handed Christian propaganda, and confusing writing, this film ultimately falls short of its potential. It is difficult to recommend this film to anyone other than the most diehard fans of religious cinema.

The Whale (2022)

Good performances

[7/10 · 28 February 2023]

The Whale is a heart-wrenching story about a man named Charlie (Brendan Fraser) who weighs over 600 pounds and is slowly eating himself to death. The movie is a character-driven piece that explores the complexity of relationships, the power of forgiveness, and the struggles of addiction. While the story itself is not groundbreaking, the movie is elevated by excellent performances, particularly the support actors.

One of the standout performances in The Whale comes from Sadie Sink, who plays Charlie's teenage daughter, Ellie. Her' portrayal of a young girl struggling to come to terms with her father's leaving, and subsequent self-destructive behaviour is both nuanced and moving. She is able to convey a range of emotions, from anger and frustration to sadness and desperation, in a way that feels authentic and relatable.

Another standout performance comes from the ever reliable Samantha Morton, who plays Charlie's ex-wife. She brings a depth and complexity to his character that makes him much more than just a stereotypical "deserted wife." She is able to convey the pain and hurt that Charlie has caused her, while also showing compassion and understanding for the man he once loved.

The supporting cast in The Whale is rounded out by a talented group of actors, including Hong Chau as Charlie's nurse, who provides Charlie with a sounding board for his thoughts and feelings. While these characters may not have as much screen time as the main characters, they are able to make a significant impact on the story and the audience.

The Whale is a movie that relies heavily on its performances to carry the weight (sorry!) of the story, and fortunately, the actors do not disappoint. Fraser gives a powerful and moving performance as Charlie, bringing a vulnerability and authenticity to the character that makes him both sympathetic and relatable. He is able to convey the pain and suffering that Charlie is experiencing, while also showing the love and compassion that he has for his daughter.

The Whale is a movie that is sure to tug at the heartstrings of anyone who watches it. While the story itself may not be groundbreaking, the performances of the actors, particularly the support actors, elevate the movie to a level that makes it worth watching. It is a moving and emotional film that explores the complexities of the human experience in a way that is both poignant and powerful.

Elf (2003)

It must just be me...

[3/10 · 28 February 2023]

Elf is a 2003 Christmas comedy film directed by Jon Favreau and starring Will Ferrell. The film tells the story of Buddy, a human who was raised by elves at the North Pole and travels to New York City to find his real father.

Despite the widespread popularity of Elf, there are some of us who do not enjoy the film as much as others. While the film certainly has its charms, there are some aspects of the film that may not appeal to everyone.

One of the reasons that some viewers may not enjoy Elf is its heavy reliance on slapstick humour. When done well, this type of humour is entertaining. However, the film's comedy is often exaggerated and over-the-top, with many scenes involving physical comedy and pratfalls. While this type of humour can be enjoyable for some viewers, it may not be everyone's cup of tea.

Another potential issue with Elf is its somewhat predictable storyline. While the film does have its share of surprises and unexpected moments, the overall plot is fairly straightforward and may not offer many surprises for viewers who are familiar with the typical Christmas movie formula.

Also, I find the character of Buddy to be a bit grating or irritating. While Will Ferrell certainly gives a committed performance as the childlike and naive Buddy, his constant enthusiasm and childlike behaviour is too much for me.

That being said, there are still many aspects of Elf that are worth appreciating. The film's overall message about the importance of family and the spirit of Christmas is heartwarming and timeless. Peter Dinklage is great and the rest film's supporting cast, including James Caan, Zooey Deschanel, and Bob Newhart, are all game.

Saving Grace (2000)

A Lovely Watch

[7/10 · 28 February 2023]

Saving Grace is a 2000 British comedy film directed by Nigel Cole. The film follows the story of Grace Trevethen (played by Brenda Blethyn), a middle-aged woman who discovers that her husband has left her in debt. In order to pay off her debts, Grace decides to start growing cannabis with the help of her gardener, Matthew (played by Craig Ferguson).

One of the best things about Saving Grace is its unique and original concept. The idea of a middle-aged woman growing cannabis in the British countryside is both unexpected and intriguing. The film manages to take this concept and turn it into an entertaining and engaging story that keeps the audience hooked until the end.

The film is also well-acted, with Brenda Blethyn giving a standout performance as Grace. She brings a warmth and likability to the character that makes it easy to root for her throughout the film. Craig Ferguson also delivers a strong performance as Matthew, adding a comedic element to the film that complements Blethyn's more dramatic moments.

What makes Saving Grace stand out, however, is its ability to bring out the idiosyncrasies of the British countryside people. The film captures the small town charm of the area and its inhabitants, adding to the film's overall charm. The interactions between Grace and the other characters are both funny and heartwarming, with the film never shying away from its rural setting.

In addition, the film's comedic moments are well-timed and genuinely funny. The film's humor is a mix of witty dialogue and physical comedy, with both elements working well together. The film manages to balance its comedic moments with its more serious moments, creating a well-rounded story that keeps the audience engaged from start to finish.

In conclusion, Saving Grace is a great film that brings together an original concept, strong performances, and a charming setting to create an entertaining and engaging story. The film's ability to bring out the idiosyncrasies of the British countryside people adds to its overall charm, and its well-timed comedic moments keep the audience laughing throughout. It's a film that manages to be both funny and heartwarming, and is definitely worth watching.

The Asphyx (1972)

Hidden Gem

[7/10 · 28 February 2023]

The Asphyx is a 1972 British horror film directed by Peter Newbrook. The film follows a group of scientists in Victorian England who discover a way to capture the asphyx, a mythical creature said to be responsible for death. However, their obsession with capturing the asphyx leads them down a dangerous and deadly path.

One of the most interesting aspects of The Asphyx is its concept. The idea of a mythical creature that is responsible for death is intriguing, and the film explores this concept in a unique and captivating way. The scientists' obsession with capturing the asphyx leads to some truly chilling moments, and the film's exploration of the nature of death is thought-provoking.

The film is also highly entertaining. It's a horror film that manages to be both scary and engaging. The cinematography is well-done, with some truly eerie shots that effectively build tension. The use of practical effects is also impressive, and the film's special effects are still effective today.

However, one of the film's weaknesses is the acting. While some of the performances are strong, others come off as a bit hokey. Some of the dialogue and line delivery can be cheesy and take away from the film's overall impact. This can be especially jarring during some of the more intense moments, which can lose their impact due to the over-the-top acting.

Despite this, The Asphyx is still a highly enjoyable and entertaining horror film. Its concept and execution are strong enough to overcome any acting weaknesses. It's a film that manages to be both intriguing and engaging, with some truly memorable moments. The film's exploration of death and the consequences of human obsession is a theme that still resonates with audiences today, making The Asphyx a horror classic that should not be missed.

Upgrade (2018)

Good spin on a revenge story

[8/10 · 28 February 2023]

Upgrade is a 2018 science fiction action film directed by Leigh Whannell. The movie revolves around Grey Trace (played by Logan Marshall-Green), a man who becomes paralyzed after a brutal attack that killed his wife. With the help of a new technology called STEM, Grey regains his mobility and sets out on a mission to find his wife's killers.

The film's premise is intriguing, and the execution is even better. The idea of a man who is physically disabled but able to fight back with the help of a technological implant is unique and well-delivered. The film takes a unique spin on the classic revenge story, as Grey's revenge is aided by a voice in his head, which is both humorous and disturbing.

Logan Marshall-Green delivers an excellent performance as Grey. He effectively portrays the physical and emotional transformation of his character, from a broken man to a powerful and ruthless avenger. His chemistry with the voice of STEM, portrayed by Simon Maiden, is outstanding, and their interactions provide some of the film's most enjoyable moments.

The action scenes in Upgrade are also well choreographed and thrilling. The use of technology and the integration of STEM's voice add a new level of excitement to the fight scenes. The film's special effects are also impressive, with the technological aspects of the film seamlessly integrated into the action.

What sets Upgrade apart from other sci-fi action films is its intelligence and depth. The film raises questions about the ethics of technology and the potential consequences of unchecked advancements. It also explores the nature of humanity and the relationship between man and machine.

In conclusion, Upgrade is a well-crafted and entertaining sci-fi action film that delivers on its intriguing premise. The performances are strong, the action is thrilling, and the themes are thought-provoking. It's a film that manages to be both entertaining and intelligent, making it a must-watch for fans of the genre.

Girly (1970)

Completely weird and should be avoided.

[1/10 · 28 February 2023]

I listened to a podcast recently in which Edgar Wright spoke about under appreciated British Horror. He brought this movie up, so I thought I'd give it a go.

Mumsy, Nanny, Sonny & Girly is a 1970 British film directed by Freddie Francis. Upon watching this movie, I couldn't help but wonder who it is aimed at. The characters are strange, and the film doesn't fit neatly into any particular genre. Additionally, while it's marketed as a horror film, it is not a traditional horror movie, and it has a disturbing and uncomfortable tone that is more akin to a child exploitation movie.

The film follows the eccentric and dysfunctional "family" of Mumsy, Nanny, Sonny, and Girly. The quartet lives in a secluded mansion, where they engage in bizarre rituals and games. The family members are incredibly insular, and they only interact with outsiders when they bring home potential new "playmates."

The film's characters are undoubtedly strange and off-putting. Mumsy is domineering, Nanny is maternal but sadistic, Sonny is a child in a man's body, and Girly is flirtatious and manipulative. The family's dynamic is deeply dysfunctional, and it's unclear what motivates them to engage in their bizarre rituals and games.

While the film is marketed as a horror movie, it's not a traditional horror film. There are no jump scares, and the film's horror elements are more psychological than physical. The horror comes from the family's behaviour, their rituals, and the ominous score that accompanies their games. However, the film's disturbing and deeply uncomfortable tone makes it more akin to a child exploitation movie than a horror film.

The film's biggest problem is that it's unclear who it's aimed at. Is it a se comedy like many British movies of the time, while the lack of gore and traditional horror elements make it unappealing to horror fans. The film is also too strange and disjointed to appeal to a mainstream audience.

Additionally, the film's pacing is slow, and the plot is meandering. The film takes a long time to get going, and once it does, it's unclear where it's heading. The film's ending is also unsatisfying, and it fails to provide any real closure to the story.

In conclusion, Mumsy, Nanny, Sonny & Girly is a strange and uncomfortable film that is difficult to categorise. While it's marketed as a horror movie, it's not a traditional horror film, and its disturbing tone makes it more akin to a child exploitation movie. The characters are strange, the pacing is slow, and the plot is meandering, making it difficult to invest in the story. Most disturbingly, it sexualises school children and I have doubt it would ever get made today. Horrific for all the wrong reasons.

The Death of Dick Long (2019)

I mean. What?

[2/10 · 28 February 2023]

The Death of Dick Long is a 2019 comedy-drama directed by Daniel Scheinert, and unfortunately, I was seriously underwhelmed by this movie. While it has moments of dark humour and a unique premise, the film falls short in several areas, including its uncertain genre, stupid characters, and lacklustre execution.

The film follows the misadventures of a group of small-town friends who accidentally kill their friend Dick Long and try to cover up the crime. The premise is intriguing and has the potential to be a darkly comedic exploration of guilt and consequences. However, the film never quite decides what genre it wants to be, and as a result, it falls flat in both its comedic and dramatic elements.

The characters in the film are too stupid and unlikable to care about. The main pair of friends are bumbling, incompetent, and make increasingly foolish decisions throughout the film. While this can work in a comedic context, the film never establishes a consistent tone or style to make the humour land. Instead, the characters come across as grating and annoying, making it difficult to care about their story or care about their fate.

Additionally, the film's execution is disappointing. The pacing is slow, and the plot meanders, failing to create any real sense of tension or suspense. While there are a few interesting moments, they are not enough to elevate the film beyond its overall boring quality. The film's visuals and cinematography are also uninspired, failing to create any distinct style or atmosphere.

In conclusion, while The Death of Dick Long has a unique premise and moments of dark humor, the film ultimately falls short in several areas. Its uncertain genre, unlikable characters, and lackluster execution make it difficult to invest in the story or care about the characters' fate. While it may appeal to some viewers, I was seriously underwhelmed by this movie and cannot recommend it.

Tusk (I) (2014)

Just Terrible -Especially that moustache

[1/10 · 28 February 2023]

Tusk is a 2014 horror "comedy" film directed by Kevin Smith, and it is one of the most bizarre and ridiculous films I have ever seen. While the film does have some redeeming qualities, such as its impressive makeup effects and occasional moments of humour, its unlikeable main character and ludicrous premise make it difficult to take seriously, and it raises questions as to how it ever got made.

The film follows Wallace Bryton (Justin Long), a podcaster who travels to Canada to interview a strange and reclusive old man named Howard Howe (Michael Parks). During the interview, Wallace is drugged and wakes up to find that Howe has surgically transformed him into a walrus. Yes, you read that correctly. The rest of the film follows Wallace's slow transformation into a walrus, as well as the attempts of his girlfriend, Ally (Genesis Rodriguez), and his podcasting partner, Teddy (Haley Joel Osment), to find him.

One of the biggest issues with Tusk is its main character, Wallace. From the beginning, he is portrayed as unlikeable and arrogant, which makes it hard for the audience to feel any sympathy towards him. His actions throughout the film are often selfish and cruel, and he seems to revel in making fun of Howe's physical disabilities. While the film does attempt to give Wallace some depth by exploring his troubled past, it is not enough to redeem his character or make him relatable.

The film's premise is also incredibly ridiculous. While I appreciate the creativity and originality of the idea, the execution is so absurd that it is difficult to take seriously. The idea of a man being surgically transformed into a walrus is so outlandish that it is hard to suspend disbelief and become fully invested in the story. Additionally, the film's attempts to generate horror and suspense through the transformation process often come across as more comical than frightening.

Furthermore, Tusk raises questions as to how it ever got made. The film's production budget was only $3 million, but even that seems like an exorbitant amount for such a bizarre and niche concept. It is hard to imagine any studio or producer looking at the script and thinking that it was a good investment. While I can appreciate the creativity and daring of Kevin Smith as a filmmaker, Tusk seems like a misstep in his career.

Despite these flaws, the film does have one positive aspect. Michael Parks delivers a chilling and unsettling performance as Howard Howe. Unfortunately , the alleged moments of "humour", such as a running gag involving a Canadian convenience store clerks played by nepo-babies, and Jonny Depp in an all time low performance provide further evidence this should never have been made. And that ending....oh dear.

In conclusion, while Tusk has impressive makeup effects, its unlikeable main character and ridiculous premise make it a difficult film to take seriously. The film's attempts to generate horror and suspense often come across as more comical than frightening, and it raises questions as to how it ever got made. While it may be worth a watch for fans of bizarre horror-comedy films, Tusk is ultimately a misstep in Kevin Smith's career.

Cutter's Way (1981)

Just Average

[5/10 · 28 February 2023]

Cutter's Way is a 1981 neo-noir film that follows the story of two men, Alex Cutter (John Heard) and Richard Bone (Jeff Bridges), who become embroiled in a conspiracy after witnessing a murder. While the film has been praised for its performances and direction, the characters and the conspiracy theory plot fall short.

One of the biggest issues with Cutter's Way is its characters. Both Cutter and Bone are deeply unlikeable, which makes it hard for the audience to invest in their journey. Cutter, in particular, is portrayed as a bitter, angry, and alcoholic war veteran who is constantly abusive to those around him. While this may be an attempt to portray the harsh reality of life after war, it ultimately makes him unrelatable and unsympathetic. Similarly, Bone is a womanizer who seems to lack any sense of responsibility or morality. His character arc is underdeveloped, and the audience is left wondering why they should care about him. Additionally, the women in the film are relegated to supporting roles and are often objectified, further contributing to the film's lack of relatable characters.

The film's conspiracy theory plot is also unconvincing. The central premise of the film is that Cutter and Bone witness a murder and become convinced that a powerful businessman is behind it. However, the evidence they uncover is flimsy at best, and their actions often seem more like reckless vigilante justice than a legitimate investigation. The film attempts to build tension and suspense around the conspiracy, but the lack of evidence and the unconvincing motives of the characters make it hard to suspend disbelief.

Moreover, the film's attempts to comment on societal issues such as post-war trauma and corruption in the business world fall flat. The characters are not developed enough to convey any meaningful messages, and the film's heavy-handed approach to commentary feels forced and inauthentic.

Despite these flaws, the film does have some redeeming qualities. The performances of the main cast, especially John Heard's portrayal of Cutter, are compelling and nuanced. The direction by Ivan Passer is also noteworthy, with the film's moody and atmospheric cinematography effectively conveying the film's noir-inspired tone.

In conclusion, while Cutter's Way has its strengths, including strong performances and effective direction, its unlikable characters and unconvincing conspiracy theory plot ultimately detract from the film's overall impact. The film's attempts to tackle important societal issues fall short, and the characters are not developed enough to carry the weight of the film's messages. While it may be worth a watch for fans of neo-noir or the performances of the main cast, Cutter's Way falls short of being a truly impactful film.

The Deep House (2021)

Ultimately Disappointing

[3/10 · 4 February 2023]

The premise for The Deep House is a really interesting one. A couple of urban explorers, tired of visiting the likes of dilapidated Ukrainian orphanages, decide their next trip will be to dive a sunken village in a French lake. This theme really appealed to me as I thought it was quite original.

Unfortunately, a good idea for a film only gets you so far. Because the house is underwater, what you get is a very poorly lit movie. This is, I imagine, realistic for the environment the two main characters are diving in, but it makes it difficult for the viewer to see what's going on. There's a scene where a character gets entangled in chains that is so confusing, it lost all ability to scare. I felt like I was watching my washing in the washing machine...which to be honest is probably scarier.

What also became obvious to me early in the film was that I had a real problem with the male lead. I found his delivery really stilted. There was no naturalism in his acting, it was one note and he conveyed no emotion. And the point where he 'changes character' was laughable. Maybe he got the job because of who his Dad is? (Note - I only found out who his Dad is after watching the movie).

And a couple of other points-

1. Tina - if the guy has to get 1million views on social media before he'll marry you , he's not worth the effort.

2. SPOILER - If Pierre was such a wrong 'un as a youth, and his family did what they did that led to their death at the hands the locals, how's he still living in the area, sitting by the lake, lining up a steady stream of victims?

Midsomer Murders: Dressed to Kill (2023) Season 23, Episode 4

Really bad

[2/10 · 4 February 2023]

I've been watching Midsomer Murders since it started. I've always loved it, in no small part due to the fact I was living in the Chiltern Hills (the setting for Midsomer) when it first started. I have a great affinity for it and will happily watch repeats whenever they're on.

For several years, probably since the great John Nettles left, I've viewed it as a curiosity, looking forward to see what crazy way someone can be killed off (the wheel of cheese and the electrified roulette wheel are still may favourites). Here? Death by corset with a stiletto in the head.

Whereas previously it was a quaint take on a village murder mystery, it's now become a parody of itself, an embarrassment. Dressed to Kill is Midsomer Murders nadir. It such a shame. There are good actors in this. Nigel Lindsay is great in Victoria, and shows he can do comedy, as seen in the hilarious Four Lions. Suzanne Packer is also a good actress, notably a great turn in Brookside back in the day.

But this story is ridiculous. There's actually a point where someone says they weren't taken to hospital because they were too sick. And here's me thinking that's where you go if you are sick. Someone blackmails and commits criminal damage....no arrest. I figured out the illness about 5 minutes in, and both the ill kid and the main drag queen were poor actors. Nick Hendrix also looked like he wanted to be somewhere else. Neil Dudgeon? Well, he's just the same character in everything he appears in.

Unlike others, the drag aspect didn't bother me. I did wonder what the whole dominoes thread was about and maybe it was just a red herring.

Ultimately, really bad. And stealing a line from Some Like it Hot was criminal.

Sunshine (2007)

Beautiful

[8/10 · 17 January 2023]

Danny Boyle's "Sunshine" is a visually stunning and thought-provoking science fiction film that expertly blends elements of horror and drama. The plot follows a team of scientists and astronauts on a dangerous mission to save the dying sun, and the ensemble cast gives powerful performances that keep the audience on the edge of their seat. The film's special effects are top-notch, and the cinematography is breathtaking, creating a sense of awe and wonder.

The film explores deep philosophical and ethical questions about the nature of humanity, the universe, and our place in it. The ending is satisfying and leaves the viewer with much to ponder. Overall, "Sunshine" is a must-watch for fans of science fiction and filmmaking alike.

Masters of Horror: Jenifer (2005) Season 1, Episode 4

WTF?

[1/10 · 9 January 2023]

Holy mother of God. I've started watching this series and had been less than impressed with what I'd seen so far. I figured maybe the series may get better, and this one is directed by Dario Argento, so should be good right?

Wrong. Possibly the worst hour of TV I've seen in a long time. Why? I really don't know where to start. Lets start with the direction. We begin with a really weird camera angle looking down on the cops in the car whilst they eat a takeaway. We see this for about 3 minutes. To what end? What's the point? The heck if I know. Maybe they were short on running time so stretched the scene out. It makes no sense.

Everyone in it is horrible in different ways. Cop rapes his wife? Horrible on so many levels. He sees Jenifer kill, but still feels compelled to have sex with her anyway. Everyone is openly horrible to the titular character ( before we know she's a killer) - even nurses.

And the writing? Jeez. I've not seen or read the source, but as teleplays go, this is a dog. Nothing in it makes any sense.

Look, I know it's a low budget TV series, but this is just awful. I genuinely don't understand how anyone can rate this highly. It's a dog.

The Ghosts of Monday (2022)

Risible

[1/10 · 5 November 2022]

Having just had the misfortune to spend 1 hour 17 minutes watching this, I'm struggling to think of a movie I have watched in the last few years that could be considered worse than this.

Firstly, we have the terrible acting from the main protagonist Eric, whose acting range seems to solely based on whether he has his mouth open or not. The actress playing his wife spends the movie in some sort of trance. Let me be clear, this isn't intentional, she just can't act.

And then we have the plot, if that's the word for it. Nonsensical. Are there ghosts? Are there monsters? Do we care? No we don't. There is no build up, no scene laying or narrative.

What did impress me was there was a lift that has been the scene of a very unfortunate event can be spotlessly clean within minutes. Now that's what I call housekeeping.

And then there's Julian Sands. If he's your main actor then you know you're in trouble.. he may have been in good movies (although none spring to mind) but he tends to be the worst thing in anything he's in. Remember that cheesy scene in Anaconda of Jon Voight leering at Jennifer Lopez. Sands' character here spends this movie being new levels of sleazy. No exaggeration, he creepily delivers a line asking someone sharing a late night drink with him around 10 times in this film.

In short , a 1 hour17 minute film that is 1 hour 17 minutes too long.

The Quiet Girl (2022)

Beautiful

[10/10 · 21 September 2022]

There are times when an image or a scene from a movie stays with you. And often, it's not the bangs, crashes or stunts that live long in the memory, it's the simple things, done almost anonymously that linger.

The Quiet Girl is an absolute delight. Shot in a very un-obtrusive and realistic way, it tells the story of Cait who is sent to live with some relatives as her mother prepares to have yet another baby. At home, times are hard, she doesn't quite fit in, and it's obvious she's struggling at school.

The difference in the attention and love shown towards her with her temprorary family is is painfully obvious, and the delight that Cait takes in learning some of the most mundane tasks, like vacuuming and peeling vegetables, is beautiful. You see, it's just that no one has ever taken the time with her before to do these simple tasks. And that is heartbreaking.

I could wax lyrical about this film for hours, but won't. I just urge you to give this a try. The main performances from Catherine Clinch,Carrie Crowley and Andrew Bennett are perfection. Understated and real.

And that scene I mentioned at the start? A biscuit being left on a kitchen table made my heart sing.

American Horror Stories: Necro (2022) Season 2, Episode 7

Just NO!

[1/10 · 1 September 2022]

I should have known it wouldn't last. The previous two episodes in my opinion had been ok, and then came Necro.

Having realised Facelift, the previous episode, hadn't featured anything gory or repulsive, the "writers" decided from the off to show you a mortician working on a cadaver. Nice. Thanks for that.

What followed in the next few minutes was entertaining, pay rise, nice (but dull) partner, troubled past. And then the other dude turns up. Brief flirtation, with no chemistry between the actors. Unconvincing.

Now even I thought AHS had some places it just wouldn't go. But no. There is nowhere this show won't go, no depths it plumb for cheap and nasty thrills.

The mortician decides to start "working" on the new dude when he turns up dead. Not "working" working, but working as in humping a dead body. Seriously? But no!!! He's not really dead! It's a joke. Funny eh?

Then he turns up at her wedding, and everyone gets to see her humping his 'dead' body on a video screen. But it's ok. He did it cos he loves her! That's a relief. It doesn't matter her life is ruined. At least he loves her!!

I've included so many spoilers so you don't have to watch it. Without doubt, it's one of the worst 45 minutes of TV I've seen in a long time. Hang your heads Murphy and Falchuk.

American Horror Stories: Facelift (2022) Season 2, Episode 6

Solid Episode

[6/10 · 1 September 2022]

For the second week running, American Horror Stories delivers a good solid episode. I thought the acting was very good, particularly from Judith Light in the lead. It's amazing how much better an episode can be when you involve someone who can act, and who isn't there because they have a famous relative.

I also like the fact there was no unnecessary gore which had been shoe-horned in for the heck of it. It focussed more on someone insecurities and desire to capture what they once had.

There were a couple of missteps for me, namely what the result of the surgery looked like was a bit ridiculous. The folk horror element was pure Wicker Man, let's call it a homage as opposed to a rip off. And the ending? You don't always need a twist AHS. Quit whist you're ahead.

American Horror Stories: Bloody Mary (2022) Season 2, Episode 5

This wasn't bad!

[6/10 · 27 August 2022]

Now then! I did not see this coming. This actually wasn't bad at all. Gory without being over the top, and genuinely a little bit creepy. It was also great to see Quvenzhané Wallis. I think the last time I saw her was in Annie (which my daughter has seen dozens of times). She was pretty good in this, in fact all the main characters were well cast. It goes to show casting actors based on their ability is better than casting people because of who's in their family.

This episode goes to show you don't need over the top gore or random acts of humping to be effecting. Hopefully this means things are looking up for the series. Here's hoping.

Nope (2022)

Solid Storytelling

[7/10 · 27 August 2022]

I, like many, was really looking forward to seeing Nope. Peele's two previous movies have really captured the imagination, and I was hoping for more of the same with Nope. Perhaps then, it was my own fault I was a little let down.

It is still better than most movies being made, and Nope looks absolutely beautiful. The panoramic views are breathtaking and I really loved the score and sound design. I found the Gordy scenes genuinely shocking, but I'm still at a bit of a loss as to what it had to do with the rest of the film. Maybe that's just me being a bit dim.

I enjoyed the dynamic between the two leads, and found OJ's laconic nature a nice contrast to Emerald's full-on behaviour.

Unfortunately I just thought it was all a bit flat, despite looking so wonderful.

American Horror Stories: Milkmaids (2022) Season 2, Episode 4

Who Writes This Stuff?

[1/10 · 24 August 2022]

I don't know where to start with this episode.

Acting? Appalling. The Pastor was played by an actor displaying the subtlety of a kick in the genitals. His sneering reminded me of the meme of Jon Voigt in Anaconda, all he was missing was a moustache to twirl.

It was another of those AHS episodes where men are shown to be without any redeeming features. There is not one good 'guy'. Even the most level-headed man becomes a psycho by the end. (Same with Drive, the previous episode). And the lesbianism was purely there for titivation and didn't drive the story forward.(Before anyone comments, I'm a "liberal leftie" and proud of it)

And as with Drive, the 'twist' looks like it was made up at the last minute. A proper twist has the viewer thinking 'How did I not see that?', not 'Where did that come from?' It's lazy, and takes the viewers for mugs.

It's become obvious to me that the creators of AHS take the good wishes of their fans for granted, knowing they'll defend it to the hilt. Unfortunately, there hasn't been a good series of the parent show since Coven, and none of these anthology episodes (to date) are any good.