bigfishjuan Reviews

First and Last (2018– )

Well made

[10/10 · 8 January 2019]

Not an easy watch, but well put together. They must have had at least one amazing editor. :)

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (2001)

FUBU for kids

[1/10 · 5 July 2004]

African-Americans have FUBU, kids have the Harry Potter movies (I should take that back so Black America doesn't hunt me down for the insulting comparison). If you're under 8 and dig witchcraft, or you really like bad (and I mean BAD) acting in a high-budget movie, you might love it. If, however, your intellectual age is over 12, I would recommend avoiding this terribly long, drawn-out exhibition of children's sorcery -- WORST movie I've ever sat through in the theater. Yes, worse than "Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil" and even "Master of Disguise." The first hour, at least I had a bucket of popcorn to keep my interest. When it wasn't over after 90 minutes, I tried to take a nap but my bucket of cherry coke had me wired. My friend seemed to be enjoying it, so I tried to give it a chance. By the 2-hour mark, I wanted to commit suicide, but the theater apparently expected this reaction and restricted me from bringing in any weapons. I decided to stay and avoid the traffic, so I clipped my finger nails and toe nails (I guess if someone can hijack an airplane with clippers, I could have done some much-needed damage to myself, but I didn't think about that at the time). People really need to stop saying it's a movie to be enjoyed by everyone. There's a reason almost half of the reviews are saying everything from overrated to worst movie of all time. Guess where I stand.

Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (2003)

Appropriately paced

[9/10 · 12 March 2004]

Many with a short attention span, which seems all too common these days, may feel that this movie drags. But those with patience for a good thing will recognize that Peter Weir did an excellent job of giving a realistic portrayal of life on a battleship from this time-period. Those amongst us with A.D.D. would have been happier if the whole two hours were filled with nothing but battle scenes. Those amongst us with an appreciation for good films are grateful to the filmmakers for this wonderful accomplishment that not only entertains us, but also succeeds in illustrating history for a generation centuries removed from experiencing it for ourselves.