reywal99 Reviews

The Oak Room (2020)

I liked it. Most won't

[6/10 · 3 February 2024]

I like atmospheric movies. Especially ones in snowy settings. That said, there really is no narrative. There are 2 men in ever scene, having a conversation. Many of the conversations don't further any through line. Or if they do, you need to conjure them up yourself. This is the "Pine Barrens" episode of"The Sopranos". It was an entertaining episode, it stuck with you afterward, but it was also frustrating, Is it worthwhile? I'd say 70-80% of casual movie watchers will regret watching it. 5% will love it--reading more into it than there actually is. The remaining 15-25% will be somewhat disappointed, yet entertained.

Hellraiser (2022)

Best One!

[9/10 · 26 October 2022]

Although I've seen every entry in the Hellraiser series I never considered myself a fan--until now...Even including the well regarded Original I was never totally "got" the series. Sure, the "chains" were cool, and the makeup of the centibites, but I never found the movies to be remotely creepy or intense. Other than Pinhead, none of the characters were relatable or likable. Until now. I'm looking forward to the series moving on with the same creative team and "surviving" cast. Well done! I'm not a film critic and don't want to give spoilers so I'll just type this so I can get this review posted.

Clerks III (2022)

Maybe it was all a bad dream

[4/10 · 12 October 2022]

I got bad feelings about Clerks 3 when he was talking about the aborted version some 5 years ago--long before his heart attack and weight loss. During his live podcasts with Jay Mewes he "teased" some of the story--and what he teased did not seem funny at all. Fast forward 5 years and we have this--what is effectively a bait and switch. Clerks 2 is is best film. While crude (both literally and metaphorically) it was the ultimate bromance film of all time. I loved the movie. Clerks 3 effectively rips all of the heart and humor from the first 2 and tosses them in the dumpster behind the Quick Stop. What is left is best said by Jay to Silent Bob "You are one morose.mfer."

No Time to Die (2021)

False advertising

[5/10 · 21 February 2022]

As someone who has been a Bond fan since age 8 I couldn't be more disappointed with this movie. Maybe its Sony and Microsoft's fault. With the graphical power of Playstation and XBox, nothing in this movie seems groundbreaking. Moreover, in video games the action is interactive--and you can skip through boring cut scenes. Maybe if this was edited down to a "svelte" 2 hour run time I would have enjoyed it more. The way it was, I was just plain bored. After this movie it was, in fact, time for the Daniel Craig era's Time to Die.

Billions (2016–2023)

Used to be my favorite show...

[1/10 · 8 February 2022]

When you use AOC as a plot-furthering mechanism and it is not for comedic affect, you've lost your way. When you have a plot line about an evil "corporation" (due to humanitarian issues) and have one character hand another a tablet (which IRL is manufactured in a country with an atrocious record on human rights) it goes into "surely you can't be serious...I am serious, and don't call me Shirley" territory. Sadly, I will not be watching another episode of a show that I was a fan of since its inception. On the bright side, I have more time to watch Succession, Ozark, Cobra Kai and other quality shows.

Black Bear (I) (2020)

Aubrey's performance gets it a 6

[6/10 · 24 January 2022]

To begin, I sometimes enjoy "watching paint dry mumblecore movies." I believe this film epitomizes that definition. That said, like milk that is a few days past due, indulging in it will leave you with more regret than satisfaction. (Kind of like the "tilapia".) If you want "plot"points there are other reviews to find them. I have two main comments about the movie, and I'll leave it at that. First, Aubrey Plaza is a fantastic actress. If not for her, I would have closed out the tab on my laptop after the first 15 minutes. There is a fine line between a credible performance and over-acting. The closer an actor gan get to the line without overstepping is demonstrative of their dramatic talent. She was superb. Full stop. That said, she was the only thing good about the movie. I know it was supposed to be meta--behind the scenes w/creators and performers--but it was just plain boring. WAY too many scenes of people walking from room to room in the cabin. Literally ten minutes of the film appears to be people walking around to get from place to place. The "intense" scenes are well executed but few and far between. I'n conclusion, if you want to watch a movie with similar themes, a good ensemble cast and is of the adult mumblecore variety rent "Helena from the Wedding". It's about 10 years old and you will see some people that were relatively unknown at the time who are now fairly big stars.

Wildcat (I) (2021)

Don't let the bad guys win.

[10/10 · 25 June 2021]

The only conceivable reason this film is rated so low is the fact that the realism contained therein offended the reviewer's woke sensibilities. Georgina Campbell gives one of the most amazing performances I've EVER seen. The rest of the cast is superb as well. I'm going to see F9 on Sunday and I doubt it will be 1/10th as pulse racing as this gem. It's borderline slanderous to give this anything lower than an 8. I hope to see Ms. Campbell in many more--and larger budgeted--features. She is a revelation.

Safer at Home (2021)

Awful is an understatement.

[1/10 · 26 March 2021]

Watch Unfriended or Unfriended 2. I've had more exciting work related Zoom calls than this movie. Don't wast your time, call a friend or family member on Face Time or Zoom.

Night (II) (2019)

Who paid who?

[1/10 · 6 September 2020]

Serious question. Can anyone pay Amazon so they can upload their "art" and have it streamed on Prime? I have no background in he film industry, but I'm supremely confident I could make a better movie, with my phone, tomorrow. I literally can't think of anything to say about it that is positive. I guess it's short run length is a positive, but that doesn't really count. If I were to point out the worst aspect of it, i'd have to say it was the "acting." The victim never once seem scared about her situation. I would say she seems more annoyed than terrified.

She Dies Tomorrow (2020)

Brutal

[1/10 · 2 September 2020]

I say this with all seriousness, I'd rather watch a home video of the writer/director calling her friends on the phone and telling them of the 'inspired' (more like insipid) idea she has for a feature-length film and them telling her how brilliant it an idea it is. The premise is more doomed than the characters. I wouldn't normally be so mean, but the film is so pretentious, the snark is well-deserved.

The Rental (2020)

A film (maybe) worthy of it's name.

[5/10 · 20 August 2020]

Not nearly as bad as many of the reviews claim. That said, it is not a good film. If you are one that enjoys home invasion films you might as well check it out. If you don't, it's pretty hard to recommend. Within 6 months I'll probably rent it again--because it's so utterly forgettable that I will have forgotten that I'd seen it already.

Stockholm Syndrome (2008)

Inspiring

[1/10 · 30 July 2020]

Bad in every possible way. It does show, however that anyone with an iphone and a handful of friends can make a movie and get it on "Prime." If the cast and crew had any talent this could be a film that would trigger outrage. Unfortunately they don't As such, it comes off as a bizarre comedy. As I mentioned before, a person can make a movie if they have friends willing to partake. The problem lies in the fact that moat peoples friends are not actors. Although I'm not a huge fan of most actors as human beings--many do have actual talent. Said talent creates a realistic viewing experience. This is just an assortment of people off the street in 'costumes' ad libbing some dialogue. There is not one genuine moment of suspense, horror or excitement because of these 'performances'. I'm all for people pursuing their dreams, but life is short. IF you watch this movie (without skipping) those are 80 minutes of your life that you will never get back. (I made it about 35-ish minutes before the scrubbing began.)

Bombshell (I) (2019)

Cringy

[1/10 · 9 April 2020]

Wowsers! Ms. Theron's prosthetics and voice were...interesting. CT's usually a fine actress, but in this instance her performance was more analogous to Alec Baldwin's SNL Trump impersonation than a serious portrayal of a real human being. Politically, I'm center-right, but I was willing to give the movie a chance (on VOD, at least) because I was an am a big fan of Megyn Kelly and was interested in the story. That said, this isn't a serious movie, a la "Spotlight" or "All The President's Men." This is cotton candy for people to watch on the weekend when "Maddow" is off the air. No nutritional value. If you hate FOX, just follow "media matters" on social media or watch Brian Steltzer on CNN and save the rental fee.

Extracurricular (2018)

A "C" for effort.

[5/10 · 12 March 2020]

Home invasion films are easily the scariest of all genre films due to their inherent realism. The characters in this film are too clever by half. Clearly this movie was inspired by the truly horrifying "Funny Games" and the masterful performances therein.That said, "FG" os a hard film to stomach, as is the also fantastic French film "Inside". Using a car analogy, this film would be taking a 1989 Ford Mustang to the aforementioned being a shiny new Bugatti. The Mustang is a great film if you are a new driver and want to take a girl out on a Friday night date. The Bugatti is a car if you want a supermodel to have your number on speed dial.

The Gallows (2015)

Just plain boring

[4/10 · 13 November 2019]

It was a chore getting through it. I'm usually patient with low budget movies--especially horror (as it is my favorite genre.) This one was just not worth the 80 minutes of my time. As I'm a masochist, I just rented the sequel.

American Killing (2016)

Meh.

[3/10 · 4 November 2019]

If you want scares or suspense you're looking in the wrong place. Performances are fine. For a rather shot film, it seems longer than it actually is. Might have been better as a 15 minute short film as opposed to a full length feature.

Midsommar (2019)

Bad Trip.

[3/10 · 8 July 2019]

Slow. Annoying. Tedious. Beware. Unless you are a fan of Aranofsky's "Mother!" you will likely dislike this movie. There was not one scary or suspenseful scene in this bloated 2 1/2 hour film. Strike that. There was a scene with some rather frightful frontal nudity that was rather unpleasant. Besides that, it was a perfect waste of a nice "mid-summer" (yes, I went there) afternoon.

The Amityville Murders (2018)

Shockingly good!

[8/10 · 11 March 2019]

I was expecting little to nothing from this entry. Am not a huge fan of the series. Thought the original and the Ryan Reynolds reboot had their respective merits. Figured I could passively watch this while multi-tasking. To my surprise it was very good. By no means on any of my "all times" list but far better than I could have reasonably expected. Don't know how accurate it is--and the people that would know are not talking--but, assuming it is, it's a good account of the events that led up to the original film. If you are interested in a slow-burn thriller--ostensibly based on real events--check this one out.

Bird Box (2018)

Meh...

[3/10 · 17 January 2019]

As a horror enthusiast I was hoping for big thing from Bird Box. The fact that it's become a "viral" Netflix sensation enhanced my hope. I mean, how can 34 million streamers be wrong? Right? Well they were. It took me 2 days and multiple pauses (to check the remaining running time) to get through it. It was not nearly the worst thing I've ever seen, but I definitely feel bad for people involved in smaller films, with smaller stars that don't receive the hype. If I could summarize the film in one word, it would be:

Meh.

Find something better.

The Basement (II) (2018)

Only one redeeming factor....

[1/10 · 29 September 2018]

There is a cool Lamborghini driven by the lead character in the beginning...I'll give it that. Beyond that its a poor rip off of Hotel and Split.

The Americans: Dyatkovo (2017) Season 5, Episode 11

Mild spoilers--though nothing worth spoiling

[2/10 · 20 May 2017]

Sorry, but trying to create drama/excitement from 2 glorified extras won't cut it from the so-called "best show on television". This season has been an rudderless mess. A pointless bore. The most compelling character, Stan, has been relegated to hanging out with angst-ridden teenagers. Seasons 5-6 should have been consolidated in order to make a compelling final season. Life's too short to spend 42 minutes a week on this tedium. I'd rather re-watch Season 2 of Billions or do some prep for the upcoming season of GOT. If you feel this season hasn't missed a beat you must really be into Oleg's trials and tribulations in the motherland. If so, all the power to you.