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joe262
Reviews
Meat Market 2 (2001)
Another great movie
I finally got to see the sequel to what is now one of my favorite films, Meat market. Meat Market 2 is another low budget masterpiece from Brian Clement. If you thought the first movie was fun, you have not seen anything yet. This time, it's a year after the first film. A few characters from the first movie, plus a new guy are still trying to survive. They end up in a very Day of the Dead-esque setting, with a facist cult leader who is trying to set up a new society of desirables. Ok, enough plot, on to the wicked s***. The characters again, are a mix of crazy/messed up people. My favorites being the crazed chef, and the meat f*cker. Yes that's right, i did say meat f*cker. There is also a lunatic scientist who has many funny scenes. His explanation for doing experiments is goddamn classic. The special effects are again great for such a low budget. The acting is....well, what can i say? I loved it for what it was. It never tried to hard to be something it wasn't. (The vampire finally bites someone!) There is also brief reappearance of El Diablo Azul, and it gave me a reason to live again. As a big zombie fan(aka person with no life), i absolutely loved Meat Market 2. Entertaining to the point that you wanna run out and make your own zombie film. Thanks again people, you are gods. Thanks for great cinema.
Meat Market (2000)
Meat Market kicks ass
I got my hands on a copy of this film a little while back. I knew it wasn't going to be a big budget blockbuster. I also knew it would not come close to Dawn of the Dead, or even Return of the Living Dead for that matter. it's shot on video, and looks for the most part, like s**t. But, put that behind you and let the good times roll. There are many scenes that pay homage to the classics. It is like a mix of Dawn of the Dead, Resident Evil(the game), and Zombie 3. The main characters are two mercenaries trying to stave off the zombies who are quickly taking over. In their adventures they come across many unique and unusual characters. Including three lesbian vampires. That's right, lesbian vampires. They tote laser weapons and have sex a bunch of times. Their is also the hillarious El Diablo Azul. he's a dubbed Mexican luchadore. He takes every chance he has to use his wresting techniques on the undead. He accounts for several very funny moments within this film. There is also a wounded soldier who does absolutely nothing of note. There is also a scientist who tries to explain that the zombies are cyborg, but that never comes up again so just forget it. the zombies for the most part, look decent. For a low budget film, it's a motherf*cking masterpiece(excuse my language). If this were big budget, it would be the best zombie movie ever. It would be perfect, if it wasn't for the cop-out ending. The ending feels like they ran out of money. I wish i could meet the people who made this film, just so i could shake their hands. They made a terrific movie, that i plan on purchasing very soon. Now i'm just waiting for the sequel to come out, it should be interesting..............
Fist of Glory (1991)
what the hell?
What the hell is this movie supposed to be? The first thirty minutes were of soldiers fighting in Vietnam. It featured some of the worst action sequences ever. People died before explosions went off, every NVA soldier was willing to drop his gun, and participate in some karate fighting, and like the Japanese in bad WWII movies, the Vietmanese soldiers had American weapons and vehicles. Aside from the crap action, the setting sucked as well. It was extremely obvious the movie was filmed in a forest on the northern seaboard.
The next forty minutes were just plain crap. A soldier returns to Vietnam, to visit an old friend still their. The remainder of the movie has some dumb plot about drug dealers and guns.
This movie was terrible. The acting, setting, plot, characters, and everything else sucked. Don't bother even looking at the box. It you saw it and thought it was an underrated Vietnam action movie, slap yourself.
-15/10
Alien³ (1992)
Perfect Ending(pretend Ressurection never happened)
I personally think Alien 3 is the perfect ending to the trilogy. It may not have thrills and chills like Alien, or the crazed gun-toting marines from Aliens(or the crappy story of Ressurection), but it does have dramatic value, and likable characters. 8/10