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witchsmeller-1
Reviews
Skeleton Man (2004)
Seriously...
WARNING! WARNING! While I disliked this film greatly, and I cannot see many people liking it, (except for creepy male teenagers) I get angry when people expect something from SCI-Fi channel, It is a bloody made-for-t.v. movie staring low-B actors! Get real people, go in expecting a bad movie, receive it, and then make a verdict. Do not watch it (skeleton man in particular) if you are highly opinionated! Now for the real review! This movie is quite pathetic, and it adds it self to the festering tripe lining the squishy smelly stomach of the Sci-fi channel. The acting is horrible, and the costumes/make-up are terrible. For example, the Garbage-bag cloak of the dead warrior? Ach, it made the actor look like a stick wrapped in a blanket. It over-sized him by about 3-1, and so, for an example of how big it was, the skull of the thing had an over-sized hood around it, that stood up by itself somehow, making the skull, look like a pea in a plastic bag. Also, there seemed to be a lot of unnecessary deaths. Watch it and see for yourself...Muahahahaa
There Will Be Blood (2007)
Really Good, but seems incomplete
This is a very good movie, directed by a semi-well-known director (which is a nice change). The acting is terrific, and even the lower characters hold their ends up well. Daniel Day-lewis portrays a blood-thirsty (Capitalist!) oil-man perfectly. Some complaints about this movie were that it was dark, and grotesque. I could show this movie to a ten year old, and they would not be terrified. However I doubt they would appreciate it. The most grotesque thing was his character, which I doubt would effect a child. The movie has a slow pace, but it only adds to the movie, setting the stage of a quiet town being over-run by a maniac. The movie is really good for about 98% of it, but the end scene seems really random, and strange. I know what most people will say about it, that he killed him because he was competition, but if that was the only reason, next to Eli's humiliation of Daniel, it seems a poor ending at best. Watch It: WITH AN OPEN MIND!
Crocodile 2: Death Swamp (2002)
Alright- This was one of the most awesome movies i have ever seen(on sci-fi)
Even though it was pretty horrible, it was still awesome in the campy terrible over-acted sense of the word. Much like Skeleton man. If you like to poke fun at crappy movies, this is a goldmine. From the stereotypical angry black man(AWESOME)to the really terrible acting, this movie is hilarious. Yet, in comparison to the rest of the tripe lining the festering stomach that is sci-fi channel, i saw it as quite clear that this movie actually tried, and the effects weren't that bad (except for when the black guy gets shot out of the helicopter. All in all, this movie is your standard b-movie, and while i cannot tell you to go rent it, because it is not a groundbreaking b-movie like Plan nine from outer space, if you see it on sci-fi channel, i would recommend watching it if you have nothing else to do. However, be warned, this movie's first prominent death (prominent meaning death by crocodile) is a black man, which i found to be an unnecessary death.
Leprechaun 6: Back 2 Tha Hood (2003)
"scary" movie for black people? offensive, stereotypical film
This actually shows on BET! Why because the title makes it sound gangster-ish? It is about a WHITE man killing the blacks. this is a disgrace to black people. The only people who watch this movie are probably high, or they are people who stand up in movie theatres and say "OH NO HE DID'NT!" while pointing to the screen. Usually during a SHOWING OF "WHO'S YOUR CADDY"! boycott this movie. it puts forth the idea that blacks get killed by a little white man, and are completely defenseless. The blacks could have thrown a vase at him, and then ran him over, then shot him, and then ate him. No...they get slaughtered like pigs. And whats worse! The one black doesn't want to give up his gold to the leper, so the little white guy kills him with his bong. WTF! First of all, this also puts forth the idea that black people are greedy for bling, or gold or w/e. also, how can someone be killed with a bong?
Transformers (2007)
Maybe I should see it again...
when i saw it...i saw it rather reluctantly. my friend asked if i wanted to see a movie, and i said OK, and he said the movie was transformers. I was a little unhappy. my mom asked what we were going to see, and i said transformers. she said "oh, that movie with the annoying little f**k*r?" when i was viewing it, i was very annoyed my shia's performance as he yet again took up the mantle to be the annoying little punk. also, it was rather annoying having a bunch of greasy 27 year old losers naming off every transformer sitting behind me, and two girls who kept looking back at me funny because they thought i was the one naming them off. megan fox's performance was pretty bad, and the whole scene with the mom and dad walking into the kids room made my mom look over at me with a look of pure annoyance, when my little brother asked 'what does that mean?'
so the verdict? i couldn't really watch the movie, and the acting was bad but i will give it another chance just to see if jon voights performance saves it or kills it.
Hannah Montana (2006)
it is so evil....
This terrible show is another failed attempt by Disney channel to appeal to girls (and sadly some boys) between the ages of 10-14. The acting on the show is really annoying, and worst of all they make little annoying kids say "aaa oh!". Then the little kids see it, and think it originated from Hannah Montana. Little kids running around everywhere screaming "aaa oh!" (the RICO kid is the main culprit. one of the worst parts of the show is how it gives the idea that Hannah is a nice person. Yeah right. A girl like her would make fun of people for looking different than her: for example... if a kid did not have long hair and ride a skateboard she would call him a nerd and toy around with his emotions! The character is shallow and cruel. I am also sick with how Disney gives every boy in their shows long hair. oliver looks like a girl! It is making everyone now-a-days look alike. Why doesn't he grow a Mohawk, or even a mullet. anything to end this fad of looking like a skateboarder. Now i'm even for bringing back Spike hair. (i am also enraged at boys wearing tight pants. yeah they think they look cool now, but how will they feel in 15 years when they are sterile...)how cool would it be if every boy on the show looked different. the oliver kid could have a mullet, Jackson could have a Mohawk...etc. This domination of white kids with long hair and tight pants is really annoying..and shows like Hannah Montana aren't helping! Disney! bring back good shows. don't produce tripe like Hannah Montana that teaches kids to be fashion Na-z-is to one another!
Grendel (2007)
what i thought might be a halfway decent movie.....
turned out to be another failed attempt by the laughable sci-fi channel. i am not sure who wrote the script, and interpreted the poem, but i am sure it was by some 17 year old teen who thought it would be awesome to a have a scoped crossbow in the movie. AAAAAAAH! when i saw that part, I lost all hope. Then...they set off for heorot in a what looks to be the ship that Christopher Columbus sailed in! when they reach Heorot, (which is supposed to be a Norse mead hall) the sci-fi group of idiots decided to make heorot look like a big stone castle. when i saw that part.. i wanted to scream. i really wanted this movie to be good, but sci-fi has yet to produce a good movie, so i don't know why i got my hopes up. Oh..and Grendel and his mother, are stupid also. (this comment is off topic about "Grendel")If anyone from the sci-fi channel is reading this..here is some good advice. NOT EVERY MOVIE YOU MAKE HAS TO BE ABOUT A BIG MONSTER THAT CAN RIP PEOPLE IN HALF, THATS NOT WHAT SCIENCE FICTION IS ABOUT! AND ALSO, STOP CASTING LOW-GRADE ACTORS LIKE STEPHEN BALDWIN TO BE IN YOUR FILMS! ITS NOT HELPING THE MOVIE, BUT MAKING IT WORSE!!!