jakethebiggestsnake Reviews

How to Lose Friends & Alienate People (2008)

wow...just wow

[1/10 · 21 March 2011]

I watched this thinking I would have a fun time watching simon pegg making fun of Hollywood.

Instaid I watched almost two hours of the most predictable crap I have ever seen... This is seriously at the same level of humor as Plump fiction. At least four times someone started a two line gag (for example "maybe it's better I don't have any" by megan fox) and each freaking time I knew the joke line that would follow. besides being predictable it's just plain non funny, there are no real jokes...you might give off a small laugh once, I did. but one laugh in 2 hours of comedy means you are not watching anything good.

And not just that, simon pegg is so unlikeable in this film that I just wanted him to fall off of a roof. When he makes his so called reversal and turns into an "evil sellout" all I see is a man who learns to f-ing grow up, who no longer acts like the most ignorant and stupid man on the planet, and who you could see yourself talking to for longer than two seconds.

I advice against watching this, and would say watch any other simon pegg film for a second ,third or even 100th time before going for this.

Temmink: The Ultimate Fight (1998)

best dutch movie

[9/10 · 4 February 2009]

Simply put if you are only going to watch one dutch movie it would be this one. I myself am not a fan of the dutch films at all, but my girlfriend (who hates dutch movies more then me) told me I had to watch this. And from the first scene I was fully into it.

It's got action (very well done and super violent), good acting, and some drama. The actual story is very simple but done in a great way.

In the future gladiators are back, and the main character is one of them. They enter the arena and they never get to leave (even if they die they stay there). The main character (temmink) starts to get feelings and wants to leave.

All I can say is watch it.

Zomerhitte (2008)

not worth watching

[2/10 · 14 March 2008]

This movie is just like every other dutch movie, so if you enjoy movies such as turks fruit and de kleine blonde dood. then you might be okay with this one (even though those two have much better stories and actors) Zomerhitte starts strong enough, but even that one good scene ends up having nothing to do with the storyline. There's a lot of nudity (but me and others just could not find that girl attractive), the dialog is laughable (as we did a lot to the annoyance of other movie watchers), and some of the scenes are so completely random that this is more of an unintentional comedy than anything else (like a random scene in which an owl rips somebody's eye out...it has nothing to do with anything and is only referenced once later in a sentence saying "did you hear what happened...I was there"). the only reason I gave it a 2 is because some of the places they are at look nice...that's it. And the reason I saw it was because we went to the sneak preview (here in Holland we have a strange system regarding sneak previews, you pay less money then for a regular movie and you don't know what movie it is that you will be watching. All you know is that it's a new movie that's not yet in the theaters). My advice is to stay far away from this film, if you really want to see a good dutch movie watch temmink or zwartboek.

Oldboy (2003)

a great movie, worth watching several times

[9/10 · 7 March 2008]

I saw this movie for the first time on a pay per view channel together with my dad. He thought it was not bad, but I was entranced. The second I got home I bought it (it was one of the first DVD's that I ever bought).

I've shown it to over 50 people by now and they all agree on one thing, it has some amazing parts in it. Even people who really didn't like the movie, loved the fight scene in the middle, it has comedy, extreme violence and some good old fighting.

This movie is in my top 5 favorites of all time and the only reason I didn't give it a 10 is because after watching it as many times as I have some scenes get a bit boring.

This movie has it all, plot twists that would make M. Night Shyamalan confused, action that would make john woo proud, sex scene's that are worthy to be in a porn, and action that should've gotten an Oscar.

If you haven't seen it yet, do so now. If you've seen it but didn't get it watch it again. And if you're like me and love it, just watch it for the fun of it again.