allcelebritiesarebald Reviews

Fallout (2024– )

Unfamiliar with the game but this is all wrong.

[4/10 · 22 May 2024]

Maybe it's for those that enjoyed the game but so many elements in this require massive suspension of belief that it's impossible to not cringe.

World got destroyed in an alternate 50s and we are 200, not 20 but 200 years in the future. Some people survive in underground vaults and our protagonist is about to go on an adventure to the surface.

Has it been 200 years or are we in present day Detroit. No imagination when it comes to any of the designs .

We have tires and trash laying around. Just about every scene has a tire laying in the background. Makeshift buildings. People engaging in cannibalism to survive. Clean concrete roads from before. Yet we also have advanced robotics and technology in the hands of people wearing rags. So people can't figure out sewing? Food, clothing and shelter is basic survival that people would figure out or go extinct. Roads get fully covered in dirt in 1-2 years.

The story does the old trick of keeping us guessing to make the viewer watch more episode. Instead of being invested in the character succeeding on her quest, we are invested to find out what's it all about. Plus our heroine and side heroes just happen to stumble upon that one thing they need whenever they need it. Over and over and over again.

The actors do a good job and are the only thing that bring any life to this.

Chief of Station (2024)

Average action movie

[7/10 · 18 May 2024]

If you like the type of movies with some simple plot that tries to sound complicated and some shooting and cars flipping that you have seen many times but somehow you always enjoy the next one than this is a movie for you.

Aaron Eckhart does good, Olga Kurylenko is only a minor role she has maybe 20 minutes screen time but it's always nice to see her she is still one of the most beautiful women ever.

Gun go bang, car go vroom then boom. I am satisfied.

There is no superfluous sex scene, the violence isn't particularly graphic it's mostly people getting shot with gun, I would say 10 year olds can watch no problem.

You Can't Run Forever (2024)

Decent low budgeter, J.K. Simmons elevates it to watchable

[6/10 · 17 May 2024]

It's a thriller/horror with a psycho (J. K. Simmons) on the loose. A girl gets into his crosshairs and she is the other main character. The story is simple, there is violence and one pretty disturbing scene where not everything is shown but made me kinda sick.

I assume J. K. Simmons is in this due to his wife being the writer/director, he is obviously a notch above other actors.

There is a subplot involving dealing with trauma but the movie doesn't explore it too deeply.

The refreshing part is that the police are incompetent and cowardly just like in real life, instead of the usual glorification.

The Veil (2024)

A psychological spy thriller

[8/10 · 30 April 2024]

Elisabeth Moss is a spy specialized in undercover work to extract information from unsuspecting (or are they suspecting this time) bad guys. She is somewhat of a wild card, go with the flow, doing things her way to get things done.

This time there is a potential ISIS terror thing that might happen and she is on the case working with the French and Americans befriending and helping a woman suspected to be ISIS.

Intriguing plot, good acting, some humor, some action, plenty of tension.

The intelligence people are competent, cunning and dangerous, it all seems very realistic and not romanticized like usual.

Sleeping Dogs (2024)

Above average due to solid cast

[6/10 · 12 April 2024]

The movie is just average, things like music, cinematography etc. It's not bad but nothing new or special. The plot is a bit convoluted which will either keep you engaged or annoy you depending on your mood.

Solid performances from the main players, particularly the creepy yet sexy professor guy.

Russel Crowe is the main character, a retired detective with a new/old case. It's basically a mystery detective story with some added drama psychology elements.

The biggest problem is one has to keep ones attention to know what is happening but it's mostly just dialogue and Mr. Crowe asking people stuff which leads to new discoveries so he goes and asks some more.

Land of Bad (2024)

Russel Crowe is a true pro

[8/10 · 29 February 2024]

So this is a decent US military doing special operation action movie, very little fluff, the editing and pace is very good. Overall a solid watch. I watched it in the theatre and I don't regret it, never got bored, the movie never slows down.

Russel Crowe is a support cast in this even though he has plenty of screen time but he again carries the movie with superb acting. A lot of actors just sleepwalk through some movies while Mr. Crowe is delivering even if he stars in a cheese movie like Popes Exorcist. I really hope he gets cast in some oscar worthy role again because he still got it and shows up in every movie. Also even though he got fat somehow he is even more charming and attractive now than before.

Ripper's Revenge (2023)

Decent watch

[6/10 · 16 February 2024]

There is good acting in this and also the pacing is decent. The story is okayish, it's a jack the ripper is back murder mystery, or is he? Main character is a news reporter figuring things out.

It's obviously low budget with most of it happening in 3-4 locations, it could work as a stage play. It's dialogue heavy. Even though it's lower budget the makeup, costumes and locations all look decent. No low budget mishaps, lighting, camera work etc. Are all good.

There's a couple of dead women in rather gruesome fashion but I didn't find it too extreme, there is also some bare breasted lady. Minimal actual violence the dead bodies are just laying with blood on them.

Box: Metaphor (2023)

It's a horror movie

[3/10 · 15 February 2024]

A woman is trapped in a box as part of some future dystopian prison rehabilitation system.

It's more of a horror torture movie. Not really sci fi, anything happening in the future these days is called sci fi.

It's low budget more of a performance from one actress with a few other having 1-2 minute pop ins.

The box is poorly lit adding to the dark depressive feel of the movie. There are some quite disturbing scenes, more implied gore because it's all happening in the dark.

There is maybe some Christian symbology or something going on that I did not understand with Ave Maria playing, or maybe they just choose the song because it's free use who could tell.

Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2024– )

Weird and bad

[3/10 · 7 February 2024]

What is up with pairing up very attractive men with bland female leads? I guess it's for the female audience to imagine themselves in their position or something. Maybe it's acting ability or the writing or just natural charisma but Donald Glover has it, Maya Erskine doesn't. So it just doesn't work.

The show is 90% their relationship and it's boring, there is even an entire episode where they discuss marital issues with a counselor, do you really want to spend your time watching another couples counseling session and hearing about their issues?

For some reason just about every episode has a strong guest star in minor roles which kept me watching, such as Sarah Paulson as the mentioned counselor which is total waste of talent. Paul Dano, John Torturro, atleast Ron Perlman was given something to work with.

Was expecting comedy, action, romance, quirky side characters, maybe some interesting villains (there are basically none), instead got a failing marriage drama. There are 2 decent episodes, the one on the ski resort which has good writing, and the Ron Perlman one only because of Ron Perlman., you can skip the rest.

Sight Unseen (2024– )

Interesting premise but generic in everything else

[5/10 · 23 January 2024]

It's a cop show, main character is a female detective who is losing her eyesight, she quits the job and then teams up with another woman that talks in her ear what is in front of her. There is also a male ex partner detective. It's an interesting idea but it's not that easy to write a story around it, still it somewhat works.

In the end it's just another average cop show, average actors and characters, nothing really stands out. The loss of eyesight becomes more of a gimmick because the emotions or drama connected with this is just rushed over and we are straight into crime solving, getting bad guys and saving victims etc.

The Bricklayer (2023)

Aaron Eckhart entering his Liam Neeson phase of career

[7/10 · 11 January 2024]

You know the older experienced guy kicking ass, killing dozens of bad guys. There is probably a hundred scripts written for Liam Neeson and now the weaker ones are being made with a cheaper actor. Personally I'm all for it, Aaron is really good and I hope he starts churning out 2-3 of these a year.

So yeah the story is meh, but Nina Dobrev is a nice counterbalance and it's mostly action, if you liked your average Liam Neeson flick in the last 10 years you will like this also.

Personally I liked this movie the most from recent action capers with Eckhart, so if you've seen any of those and moderately enjoyed them don't miss this one.

Echo (2023–2024)

More drama than action, more adult oriented, an improvement from Marvel last few efforts

[8/10 · 10 January 2024]

It's a miniseries, basically a 3 hour movie. If they made it a 2h movie it would probably work better, the pace isn't balanced from episode to episode some are slower some are faster. The story is essentially another origin story but the hurdles that Echo has to overcome to become the superhero are more emotional/psychological than beating up bad guys (there is that also), so it's more about the dramatic elements than the action.

The show manages to celebrate the Native American culture without any PC victimhood narratives, this isn't at the forefront of the story but rather gives a nice background.

There is no silly Marvel comedy that ruins the tension and the more serious moments. This is something that really irked me in the past few marvel project so it's nice they decided to deviate from the worn out formula.

The soundtrack is really good in the final episode and elevates the important scenes, overall the last episode is significantly superior than the rest which is how it should be, they end on a high note.

The main actress Alaqua Cox is very beautiful but a bit stiff, I guess it is a bit hard playing a character that doesn't speak, however it's clear Vincent D'Onofrio is the superior actor.

Overall I enjoyed it more than the last few Marvel projects but there is still room to improve.

Ferrari (2023)

Falls in the same pitfalls as most biopics

[7/10 · 1 January 2024]

The movie deals with a small part (couple of weeks or months) of Enzo Ferrari life, his personal and business problems, and we get to meet the man.

Great cinematography, sound etc. Particularly the racing scenes which are some 20% of the movie while the rest is drama. Solid performances, maybe an Oscar nomination for Penelope Cruz.

Here is where most biopics fail, they are usually made after a book, a biography somebody wrote that either paints the picture too nicely or too harshly. The truth is then left between the lines. Some truth must remain, certain historical events and such. Between the lines it seems to me Mr. Ferrari was an obsessed, cruel, selfish man, likely quite charismatic and charming to those around him. We see glimpses of that, the movie has a certain darkness to it, but when viewing as a whole certain scenes just don't work, such as Ferrari at the graveyard talking to his dead son (it feels like something Ferrari would say he does but doesn't, it reeks of inauthenticity in retrospect). Perhaps the scriptwriter or director/actor are at fault but it's hard making a biopic so can't fault them much.

Mr. Monk's Last Case: A Monk Movie (2023)

Mostly for the fans of the show

[8/10 · 10 December 2023]

Mr. Monk solves another case, there is lot of nostalgia in this and Mr. Monk and his sidekicks get back together, also his psychiatrist. If you didn't like the show you won't like this, if you did it's like a solid episode, not one of the best but solid.

For those unfamiliar with the show it's a who dunnit and a how did they do it type of mystery show with a quirky main character (he has severe OCD).

There is plenty of humor but also there is a very serious side story line involving Mr. Monk thinking about resigning from life.

The case itself wasn't that intriguing which is why I'm not giving it a 10.

Sick Girl (2023)

Mix of comedy and drama, mostly comedy.

[8/10 · 24 November 2023]

There is couple of laugh out loud moments and there is a lot of the cringe style comedy moments. The movie deals with cancer, friendship and growing up but is mostly lighthearted.

Nina Dobrev does a great job, the supporting cast is solid, no bad acting from anyone. Good chemistry.

Copy pasting because character limit

There is couple of laugh out loud moments and there is a lot of the cringe style comedy moments. The movie deals with cancer, friendship and growing up but is mostly lighthearted.

Nina Dobrev does a great job, the supporting cast is solid, no bad acting from anyone. Good chemistry.

Frasier (2023– )

Got me laughing

[9/10 · 13 October 2023]

It's a reboot but only Kelsey Grammer is from the old Frasier show but he is the main character and he still got the acting chops. There is Rodney from Only fools and Horses and couple of new faces as supporting cast. They are ranging from great to solid.

Ultimately it only matters if the comedy show makes you laugh and this did several times in each episodes, the comedy is very much similar to the old show, so if you didn't like that one you won't like this one. It's not quite exactly the same but the spirit is very similar.

Hopefully it's going to be many episodes and isn't just a few episodes.

The Irrational (2023– )

A bald choice

[10/10 · 11 October 2023]

Starring Jesse Martin who carries the show, it's a typical guy helping police who is better than police solving crimes. Couple of sidekicks nobody memorable or interesting. Somewhat interesting cases.

The only appeal is Jesse Martin who has a face scar which is an interesting choice and also is boldly bald. Not shaving head full bald but natural as it should be. No hair systems as all the other celebrities. It's really the reason I'm giving it a 10. Finally some representation for the bald community which is often marginalized and wrongly demonized. Always the bad guy or the creep is bald, now we get a lead good guy.

Island Escape (2023)

Low low budget

[5/10 · 4 October 2023]

For those that enjoy low budget flicks this isn't the worst one. The story is decent, it's a sci fi horror action movie.

The movie goes along at a decent pace which is the only thing working for it, the budget went to the makeup department which is done quite good for the "monsters" and the rest probably for the main actors gym and protein powder as we do get a shirtless scene.

I'm giving it 5 stars because the camera work is okay and it's all well shot with good lighting which is something so many low budget movies fail at. Along with solid story elements and the fact it kept my attention enough for me to finish it.

The Story of My Wife (2021)

Love from the male perspective

[10/10 · 7 September 2023]

Most romance movies are told from the female perspective, often warped to soothe the psyche and present a fantasy completely devoid of truth. This one is told from a man hopelessly in love. Perhaps he is a fool, perhaps he has his issues nevertheless the love is real, the story is believable, it is the fate of many.

It's a period piece moving very slowly, a very touching melancholic movie. Younger generation will not enjoy it, unless you can enjoy being alone by a river watching the birds, clouds or a sunset don't bother with this movie.

Great everything, acting, cinematography, direction, costumes, one of those rare movies you happen to come across and don't forget a week later.

Recommended to older men with experience.

Ahsoka (2023– )

Bad guys more interesting than heroes (first 2 ep review)

[5/10 · 23 August 2023]

The few scenes with Ray Stevenson, his apprentice and the evil boss lady witch are the only interesting part. It's the only thing pushing the story forward and there is a significant difference in quality of acting compared to other scenes. The 2 main heroines are expressionless and boring, Rosario Dawson can't act because of prosthetics on her face or something. Imagine hiring a great actress that has lots of charisma and she doesn't even smile the entire time, doesn't get angry, doesn't show urgency or worry or anything. Just compare this to Rosario Dawsons character from Sin City where she is bad ass and super cool.

Should have made it more action to make it palatable, the action scenes are good but seem as minor part of the show.

Cobweb (2023)

Solidly done horror movie that peaks too early

[6/10 · 27 July 2023]

The movie is well done, starts as a typical horror mystery and goes into a great second act peak. At this point I would rate the movie a solid 8-9. Unfortunately the final act gives us a few off screen deaths instead of going full gore and violence which would make for a great finale because the story elements fizzled out at this point. The movie does contain plenty of gore it just peaked too early.

On another point Lizzy Caplan deserves some more quality roles.

It's only 90 minutes, there's worse movies that are twice as long out there.

It's only 90 minutes, there's worse movies that are twice as long out there.

Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret. (2023)

Mostly boring coming of age story.

[4/10 · 24 July 2023]

A very simplistic story with no edge. There is no uniqueness in the story, there is plenty of growing up first experience stuff and it's as cliche and uninteresting as you imagine. The questioning of religion is subpar as well. Every character is bland, no unique traits, cliche as it gets from the wardrobe and looks to the story elements.

I suppose the sad reality is that it perhaps was a true story, same movie under a different director could be made a horror or absurdist comedy. A suburban middle class American nightmare of sameness.

Don't know why it attracted some high quality actors and they do their job adequately, the production is good etc.

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023)

A landmark in cinema that will be forgotten, a beginning of a new age

[10/10 · 8 July 2023]

The movie is a solid action adventure, no bad language, plenty of shooting and explosions but no excessive gore. Compared to other movies of similar genre that have been in the cinema in the last year or 2 this one was by far the best and most entertaining.

What stands apart and this movie will probably not be recognized for is it's CGI, while the de-aging and CGI actors have been done already, here Indy looks amazing in the younger days scenes, so much that if one doesn't know better one couldn't tell if he is old and made younger or young and made older. Thus this movie and hopefully it's success will bring on a new age of cinema.

There is no doubt now that very soon we will be seeing old movie stars and franchises get new movies with CGI actors. Whoever holds the rights to their image, possibly the studios already will surely venture into making another Bruce Lee movie or Sean Connery as James Bond again, and while some will be outraged and call it blasphemy I for one am looking forward to it.

Sarah Silverman: Someone You Love (2023 TV Special)

Is this AI generated jokes?

[1/10 · 28 May 2023]

Who wrote this material? Sarah Silverman is generally funny when she is in interviews and the like, she clearly has a sense of humor so it is hard for me to believe this is her material, if it is she really lost it, in fact the only funny moments seem to be when she goes off script and reacts to the audience.

She hits all the usual themes that have been done so much it must be AI generated because AI would think this is what's funny based on previous data.

We get some holocaust jokes which when they are not funny just come off as disturbing. Then we have the sexual identity jokes, making fun of Catholics and kid abuse, pro-choice jokes that sound like she is sarcastic and making fun of pro choice people because they are so unfunny and finally some good ole toilet humor at which point I stopped watching. Not because of the themes because I really don't care but because I didn't laugh, in case you think I'm a prude and don't like those type jokes I'll leave you with one:

2 bad guys grab 2 nuns and start assaulting them.

One nun says: Father forgive them for they know not what they do.

The other says: Shut up mine does.

The Spencer Sisters (2023)

Will keep watching

[6/10 · 18 February 2023]

Saw the first 2 episodes. It's a crime show with decent amount of comedy and a bit of drama, it's lighthearted.

The 2 main characters and crime solvers are a mother and daughter so it's a bit of an unusual dynamic duo. I like these 2 characters and the good actresses are why I will give the show a chance, the only other recurring characters so far are 2 gay men in very minor roles, they are very cliche and stereotypical. There is also a potential love interest ex boyfriend doctor not sure if he will be a regular.

The crime cases so far have been rather bland but I will give the show a chance.