ShhImWatchingAMovie Reviews

Blood Vessel (2019)

I actually really liked this......BUT

[6/10 · 17 December 2023]

I really liked the storyline, characters, the atmosphere, the one thing I can prepared to say was the special effects/makeup was the one thing that let me down. It just seemed a little amateur for what could have been a much higher rated movie!

Plot was good, characters were random, but effective. I think with big budget and better effects, it would have been much more popular!

Edit: I just found out the director, Justin Dix has been in the special effects makeup game for a long time.... I don't know how to feel about that. I like his writing and directing though! More of just that! Going to check out Crawlspace next.

Squirrel (2022)

Just..... wow

[2/10 · 6 December 2023]

I appreciate they have this labeled as comedy, I would be seriously concerned if they weren't laughing at themselves after this.

The opening scene alone is so ridiculous. I thought perhaps it was some sort of skit opening where they reveal it was an actual cos-play set-up. From people doing a reenactment of a war in the most obviously bad ways, to the score.... I have to believe this is a joke. No one would do this under any other circumstances. They literally speak out loud, but the one guy steps on a twig and someone 100 yards away catches it? The guy "appearing" out of nowhere and taking the barrel of the gun... like, it's wide open woods. Where could he have snuck up from?

Speaking of, if the actors were paid anything more than an Olive Garden gift card - to share - they were paid too much.

Wintertide (2023)

Would have been great if not for lead

[5/10 · 1 December 2023]

Honestly, this is a great storyline, ambience, execution; but I cannot figure out why they cast the lead. Every other actor in the movie is good, but she's the least convincing in the role they have her in. Image, skill, behavior - she isn't right for any of it.

The soundtrack for this is also impressive. The tone, intensity, timing - not always easy to accomplish with these types of atmospheric scenes.

I recommended this to a friend who had almost identical feedback about the lead. Not that they should have used someone attractive just for the cliche of it; I can understand not going that direction. The dialogue seems stubbed by her as well.

It's a shame. If they had used a better actress this would have the potential of being a sleeper hit.

Death Blow (I) (2023)

WTF was that mess?

[1/10 · 29 August 2023]

Did they find actors who would work for Olive Garden coupons? Probably. Was one of the conditions for payment that they had to leave a more than 1-star rating? Definitely.

I don't know if this movie is supposed to be comedy, action, or thriller, but it's not any of those. The main character HAS to be a "writer" or "director" because he fits none of the character's intentions. I don't know what he's trying to prove but, nope.

I watched this because I saw it was filmed in Tampa so I wanted to see if I recognized any of the filming locations, but the whole thing was filmed inside of what must have been a 1000SF house.

Watch it if you were in it, I guess? Might be funny if you watch with no audio and just their acting. Make a game of it, and come up with the script as you go. It'll be better than the original.