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Reviews
Holidate (2020)
Clunky script but I'm a sucker for romance
This was a very pleasant movie. It has the chick from American horror story playing something outside her usual dumb bimbo psycho murderer and you know what? She did a great job! I like how they skipped through the holidays and focused on their deal. It started as a bro's typer of friendship type thing. With their high fives and burning people in crowds. Drinking into blackness and the usual sexual jokes. I do admit the ex bf bs was lame as hell. And her being so hunged up on him still when the guy was clearly a duchebag was so eh. The love interest was actually well picked. I don't remember his name but he gives me vibes he is related to the Thor actor. Looks just like him but more grounded. Guy can definitely bring it to the table. The crazy aunt arch was hilarious i love the twist. Movie ended in a good note for me. Over a sea of over saturated holiday romance movies? This one really stood out for me.
Last Sentinel (2023)
I watch it...,,, and i still dont know what it's about.
I knew this movie was going to suck or was going to be ok from the get go. Plot builds up ok buy then i got lost. It moves so freaking slow, then there's tension build ups for no reason. The shoot a boat after one of them goes nuts then someone dies n thrn more slow movement. By the time the flash back "super obvious" reveal happens. Im still asking myself wtf did i just watched!!? I kid you not! This movie was so badly executed! It could've been much better if edited the boring parts out, uppened the creepy factors n have the wAter raise up to add more to the whole problem of the dystopia. I think this would've been more cool than have another cheesy fade to black n only hear things. Ending. I think if they had monster or mutants or the "unseem enemy" show up during the plot twist section, their decision to pair up n fight would had meant so much more. But nope just another slow n boring movie. Do yourself a favor n just walk away from this one.
The Amityville Curse (2023)
If u managed to sit through worst, this is for u
I gave it a 3 for the effort. I been sitting through low budget films as a birthday challenge. Never watched a Tubi original film. My problem with it calling itself a "Original" film, is that it wasn't original. There's a crap ton of Amityville remakes and Murder house types, that if u saw 1 you seen them all. I gave it propr for not waiting on kills, but the intelligence of the other characters was highly questionable. People started dropping like dead flies n they kept choosing to stay? Yeah right! I would've be looooooong gone! They do the usual: hire a youtube ghost hunter, then a priest and yeah they all pay the price but they stay in house like the ghost is their home dawg. Movie also waste a big chunk on a couple arguing about the EX still there and obviously still in love with the guy.
Acting is ok for B movie area.
The deaths are generic at best. Nothing creative.
The ghost? They look like super low budget. Like they used 2D image n layered it on top of the film. It had some fxs but nothing to write home about.
By then end on the movie i wished i had a beer in me. This movie is cringe worthy. You like low budget, eh story and just want to burn through a couple hours of boredom or u want to have some background noise while u do shores? This is for u. I walked out a couple times and didn't miss a thing. Lol.
Scream VI (2023)
Scream but get this? With more of the same
What else can we say? This movie keeps coming back for more. If you watched the first one? You already know what's happening. This is like a huge cash grab from the fans. If you think about it? This is like the producers are saying; "lets keep publishing them and see how kich money we make every time!!?" And so far? They are crapping them out and we go and watch them. Lol it's kinda messed up but i speak truth. Why did i gave this a 6. The film quality is still there, some returning characters are showing the psychological trauma and strains received from the horrible things that happened to them in previous movies. The new kids are so meh, i didn't care for them. I did like the hints and the possibility of changing perspectives in future projects. More of the classic characters take a leave and although I don't care for most of the characters i like that thing I mentioned before.
You will know when u see it, it happens a couple times during the end fights. If they go down that route they could easily make more money changing the whole plot into a different type of movie for the next one.
If you a fan? Check it out. It is getting old already. Nothing to different just the hidden gem that this could turn into something else? Yeah. I think they need to take a page outa final destination and go full circle as an ending. Or just let it die n do something new.
M3GAN (2022)
They ripped off "Prototype" and rebranded it
When i saw the trailers i thought the team that filmed Prototype got green lit for a better version. Nope it's not them. This whole movie is literally a ripoff of Prototype. Person crates a robot prototype n then uses said un tested possibly a mass murderer to, but takes risk to see if its protects my kids. Robot takes command to heart and murders everyone that harms child. Yep exactly the same as Prototype, But o gave it a 5 because in this version they actually explore cybernetic psychology evolving into a near human one. I liked how Megan saw the girl as her daughter vs In Prototype it was the exactly said but it was kinda there. Megan had better control and access to everything. She had better hardware n looked like an innocent child. For Megan it worked out fine. Prototype looked like a inflatable S doll. I enjoyed the movie for the obvious conclusion n to see how they would do Skynet all over again. The ending was hella generic. They watched to many terminators and child's play movies and said.., "yeah that, lets do that!"
Hopefully if they do a second movie, we get an army of Megans and they explore humans vs toaster wars. It was alright, i would watch again in the future just for boredom sakes.
Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023)
Fantastic, Fun and just a lovely for all ages.
Although i have never been able to get into the actual strategy games. I have known many that eat n breath it. I do love the lore and the art. How it brings people of every walk or corner of the world to sit down and have a blast. I remember the first movie that came out. It was just so baaad! It's like they didn't understand the subject. They half assed a fantasy movie. This one in the other hand? They knew they had to out shine the hot mess of the other one. Brought in decent actors and artist to make sure this was a decent movie that reflected a campaign of under dogs. Actors known to play heros n role models in Other films. Show up here to be thieves and dumpster fires to. But together they are alright. Sure it has a mildly generic plot, but i didn't expect it to roll out as good as it did. Loved how Regé Jean stole the movie as the Paladin! That guy can definitely have his spin off! To bad they didn't recruit him but at the same time im glad they didn't. Neither of them would've found their hidden powers. By the time of the final battle, everyone has "leveled up". The villain felt generic but their fight scenes were well done. The comedy was decent and character development was ok. I didn't see no Mary sue ever. It was kinda funny the Michelle Rodriguez was the Tank of the team with a fetish for dwarf. I did like that they didn't do that generic crap where the two leads fall in love. I liked that it stayed as a different type of family. The magician was actually well done to. I felt the shape shifter needed work but her character was meant to be ..... "a mystery ooohhh ahhh" lol. I can recommend the movie to any fantasy comedy type. Don't have to know the game to get the references. It was a fun watch. Good for all ages.
Slaw (2017)
Not exactly what i expected
I'm 50 mins in and i have walked away without pausing 4 times now. Have i lost anything? Nope! You can literally walk out on it at 20-35 mins and you will not loose anything! This is a 2 hour movie! It started ok. I thought they were gonna focus on the "Horror comedy" but they show like less that a couple minutes in the "games" then flash back time for 10-20 minutes and back to the games and so on and so for.
The characters are there, the acting is meh but the story? It needed better polishing. The editing is my biggest problem with this movie. This could've been so much better than a 3-4 star if they did better cuts. It did not need to be 2 hours long! A decent 1-1.5 hours with more organized editing would had been better. The back n forth ruins it. Then u follow the cops and then back to a tony clip of the next punishment and the. Long ass flash back! Rinse n repeat. They are literally making gun of saw movies. Like u already have the cheat sheet. All u had to do was kinda do that? But made funny. The guys over at "scary movies" did it right. It had the theming and the atmosphere correct. That thing was literally a skit and it was 200% better than this. Gave it a 2 for keeping their consistency of wasting my time n testing my patience. I cannot recommend this movie other than playing a game with friends to see who walks away first lol.
Big Stan (2007)
Discount Stan the Man
I was checking out Tubi late night and found this hidden gem. I hardly watch comedies anymore sense they have been over taken with cheap n lame written jokes. Or terrible acting. Big Stan stands at a range i used to like when i was in my 20's. It hit every nostalgic note i somewhat missed from those years. I had a great time watching this film. It became kinda Eh during the slow parts. The whole training part was golden. I still say there was no way in hell he would've made it out of jail even with that training. This movie isn't for the P. C. Types. It's problematic for these times. But i still had a good time watching it. I was looking for Adam Sandler to do a cameo the whole time to. "You can do itt!!" Would've sold it during the training or jail scenes. If you liked 90's comedy? This is for you. Not taken seriously just crack a beer or take a hit of the "Lettuce" n just enjoy it.
Prototype (2022)
It's rough but lacks a lot
Rough watch but decided to see why it was a 2.9 online. It's actually that bad. I liked some of the art direction with the androids but the face was just so MEH. U can see the actors inside doing the best they can with what they got. The acting was ok but not very connected with the horrible situations or moments. Very low budget in the awkward kills. Like theres a moment where #2 grabs the mail man n stabs him in the eye. The angle of where she stabs him and then the body shows the pen in the forehead and not the eye. That made my laugh badly! Later when she has a hissy fit cuz the teenager became captain of the team. She broke "glass drink ware" but u can tell it's plastic how the sound fx don't match the bending n popping vs shattering it's supposed to do. Plot is a mess and very repetitive to whats been already done before. I was confused about something. The intro shows #1 go ballistic n kill people then a flashback to the main story and then they go straight to a the end after the mom n kids ran for it. I may have dozed off at the end. But overall, mayor disappointment on the conclusion. Seriously wanted to see a battle between both bots but nope, no fight, no robot army either. I think this movie would be great for like B movie night fest. Het a couple drinks in ya and just waste an hour.gave a three for the art direction on #2 but thats it. They should've tweaked the script and hired a better crew.
Resident Evil (2022)
If it had another name....
Honestly i have a like n hate thing with it. Graphics are great. But the story is my problem. It's a freaking mess! I am not a fan of flashbacks in shows, especially when they Don't contribute to the present timeline story and worst are just there to be fillers. The plot felt familiar. I think the director n the writers sat down n were all like. "Hey i want to make something like 28 weeks later but with resident evil trivia. N the director was like........... 😒..........😍 i love it!. They are pretty much the same. Evil corp goes back to a ruined city. Call it "city 2.0" then adds kids, kids break into a restricted area, kids ruin everything for everyone, zombies kill everyone, kids do stupid things through the movie, the end. Lol im not even kidding! Its the same plot. But ya know. With resident evil trivia.
I was ok with Albert weskers rebooted thing except the whole grumpy, sleepy n dopey clone thing. That was just poor writing! We got to see the A. Wesker we grew to love n hate for a couple minutes n then he never came back! We got stuck with lame dad Wesker n dopey manic Wesker. O_o that was just baaad! Great actor but just poor script n writing given to him.
My beef with the girls; they were made by weskers clone, as super human hybrids. Supposed to be super brilliant but! BUT! They never showed it! The were so clumsy n dumb! Even in the present timeline!? They were just bad written characters.
I honestly wished this series was done by real fans of the games or the movies. One or the other. This would've survived as something without the RE name on it. It had nifty ideas n other ideas seen in games like left for dead. But come on! How do u screw up a Tyrant and the Chain saw guy from RE4? I was expecting a badass fight! But noo lets indiana jones it! I think 3 stars was fair. It has room for improvement, they just need to fire the writers. This is literally a drama n not a horror. The games build up tension n edge of the seat terror. This tv show only builds up frustration n boredom. It was entertaining. The graphics are good. N i'll leave it at that. If you don't know if you want to skip or watch? Just lower your expectations n try to not think about it as the games or movies. This is literally a reimagining of the franchise n characters. They grabbed a can of tuna n they slapped beens logo on it. U can tell its tuna but they sure try to sell u beans.