Change Your Image
wusabizbroker
Reviews
The Mortuary Collection (2019)
Meh....
I was so excited to see this: Clancy Brown, horror anthology, two of my most favorite things! Wow, was I wrong. I thought I was missing something after all of the glowing reviews. I should have missed this. Not very clever and honestly, kinda boring. I have forgotten more horror films than most people have seen, so I know what I am talking about. This one will be forgotten.
Postal (2007)
Just stop...
Please, Mr. Boll, just stop. I respect the fact that you love video games. I do too. But just because I love football (NFL), doesn't mean I can coach it. So please, in the name of all that is holy, stop.
Unfortunately, IMDb is making me fill this out with 10 lines. I really have nothing more to say about this film. It is THAT bad. Was this supposed to be a comedy? Based on the game Postal? The game is MUCH funnier. The only redeeming quality is that Zack Ward looked like the character from the game.
I cannot remember the last time I shut off a movie before it was finished. I got 20 minutes into Postal, thinking it might get better. It didn't. J.K. Simmons? How do you get a guy who has been in 3 of the top grossing films of the last decade (Spiderman 1, 2 & 3), not to mention Oz, to be in THIS? Did you blackmail him?
I gave it a chance, Mr. Boll, despite your previous "films" based on video games.
Just stop.
The Darjeeling Limited (2007)
So, Mr. Anderson...
How do you write a review of a Wes Anderson film? It's like trying to write a review of life. Or at least a slice of it. That pretty much sums up Wes Anderson's work; life or something like it. There are only two types of people, those that love Wes Anderson's work and those that don't understand the humor. I fall into the previous category. He takes people that we all know in real life and stretches them a little bit into the absurd. Caricatures, if you will, that he places into real life situations and with real life emotions. The Darjeeling Limited is no exception.
Three brothers who have not spoken in a year are reunited on a train in India by the oldest brother played by Owen Wilson. Without telling his brothers, who think they are on a spiritual journey, Owen has planned the trip around finding their mother who never showed up at their father's funeral and has become a nun at the base of the Himilayas.
The boys are popping Indian painkillers, drinking Indian cough syrup and trying to get along as they wing their way through the Indian countryside. They are soon kicked off the train for having an extremely poisonous snake on board and are stranded in the middle of the desert. This is where the story takes a dramatic turn. Not nearly as dramatic and shocking as with Luke Wilson in The Royal Tenenbaums, but enough to make you appreciate these characters even more. Never fear, though, hilarity ensues again before the end of the film.
As usual, the casting is perfect and all of the leads shine in their respective roles. The cinematography is beautiful and the music feels almost as if it were a character in the movie. A terrific, quirky film that will have you watching with a goofy grin on your face and feeling good about the world.
Motocross Zombies from Hell (2007)
One word: Awful
Whatever you do, do NOT, I repeat do NOT spend ANY money on this movie. If it shows up on IFC one night, call and cancel your cable or satellite service. Yes, this movie is that bad. I have no idea what movie Jared from Boston watched when he wrote his review, but it could not have been the same one I saw.
Now, don't get me wrong. I love good, independent, low budget movies as much as I love Hollywood blockbusters and I have seen A LOT of movies, but this thing, wow, it's just plain bad. The story was horrid, some satanic voice over in the beginning making you think it was going to be something to do with demons. I think that was added after production to try and make it sound more interesting. ZERO suspense, horrible acting and cinematography that would make a hyperactive spastic 5 year old with a camcorder look like Orson Welles.
Oh and one more thing. Nice try with the Cohen Bros Productions during the opening credits. There may be COHEN Bros Productions, but they have NOTHING to do with the COEN Brothers. Don't let this fool you; this has as much in common with Joel and Ethan Coen as Ed Wood had with George Lucas.
I thought this might be one of those diamonds in the rough, but it turned out to be just another unpolished turd.
Mr. Bean's Holiday (2007)
A simple joy
Is this age of adult comedies such as Superbad, Old School, 40 Year Old Virgin, etc., it is surprising to see a G-rated comedy make you laugh. Which is exactly what "Mr. Bean's Holiday" sets out to do and does well.
"Holiday" is what would have happened if Disney had made National Lampoons "Vacation". It is not a laugh riot as the aforementioned adult comedies, but a buddy movie that never has a dirty word or a bad thing to say about anybody.
What Rowan Atkinson is good at is telling Mr. Bean's simple story, with complex situations. Case in point: after finally getting a bus ticket, it blows out the bus door, attaching itself to a chicken's foot and everything goes wrong with getting it back. But, as in usual Mr. Bean style, he manages to pull through.
Only Rowan Atkinson can make it to his destination, a day at the beach, without saying so much as a paragraph throughout the entire film and with two main characters, one of which speaks only Russian. He is terrific at physical comedy and lip-synching; one of the funniest moments in the film.
Take your family to see this, it is HEARTWARMING.