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Reviews
Bully (2001)
It was almost a good movie, but it never quite made the jump.
Maybe the director's cut would have had a little more impact, I don't know. The movie was dark and interesting, and it had some very impressive scenes, but I was left with the feeling that it could have been better. It was like there was something holding it back. Still, if you like Larry Clark movies, it's worth watching.
The Man Who Wasn't There (2001)
Yeah, I was a little disappointed.
When the Coen brothers do their best work, the results can be amazing, but it hasn't happened since Fargo. I guess I was hoping The Man Who Wasn't There would be different, since it wasn't a comedy. Coen comedies always sort of left me dry, anyway, so I was looking forward to a new drama. The Coens do their best work when their humor is contrasted against some kind of heavy darkness.
The problem is that it just isn't heavy enough, or dark enough. In the end, it's just a rather unfunny comedy with a couple of dead bodies in it. Visually, it's perfect. It doesn't capture the style of the old film noirs, but rather improves on it. The actors are all very good, too, even if some of them aren't at their best. But, the story just isn't strong enough to hold it together. There's no intensity.
The Breed (2001)
This was bad.
I usually like violent low-budget vampire action movies, but this one was a piece of crap. I'm amazed that someone can look at a script like this and say, "Yeah, let's make that one."
A vampire cop and a human cop team up to hunt a rogue vampire who is actually behind the silliest conspiracy since The Arrival. I could put up with a plot like this if the dialogue wasn't so darned bad. Why the hell does Adrian Paul keep saying, "Let's go to work"? Is he suggesting that Woodbine is lazy?
Some of the violence is okay, but this is just a really bad movie.
The One (2001)
Well, it's not quite as bad as Romeo Must Die...
Another substandard action movie. Great. Just what we needed.
There's one basic rule for Jet Li movies. If the fight scenes are excellent, the rest of the movie will work. In this one, the fight scenes were a mess of bad wirework and silly-looking computer effects. The quality of Corey Yuen's choreography seems to depend on dumb luck. In High Risk and Kiss of the Dragon, he put together some very tight and effective fight sequences. But in movies like Fong Sai Yuk, Romeo Must Die, and The One, his work comes across as made-for-TV-level crap.
I won't comment on the plot, except to say that there was too damn much of it for this kind of movie. In a poorly-written kung fu picture, the plot should take a back seat to the fighting. Unless you keep it simple, the plot can take away from the action and become annoying. That's what happened in The One.
Heist (2001)
Clever, but a little stand-offish.
If you liked House of Games, you'll probably like this one. It has the same cute dialogue, a plot that's just as complex, and a little more violence. Like House of Games and a number of Mamet's other projects, it doesn't really involve the audience in any emotional way, but it isn't supposed to. It's not a great film, but it's good.
Himalaya - l'enfance d'un chef (1999)
A little slow, but not bad.
If you have the patience to sit through a 108 minute movie about people walking, this one is worth the effort. The cinematography is impressive, and the conflict between the characters is genuinely interesting. It might have worked better with a darker ending, but it wasn't bad.
Blade II (2002)
Am I the only one who was disappointed?
I don't know how it happened, but this just let me down. Sure, I liked the first movie, I like Guillermo del Toro, and I like Bradstreet's design work. Heck, I even like the soundtrack, but the movie just wasn't any fun for me.
First off, del Toro directs it like a horror movie, which would be fine if the script was strong enough to hold it together. The problem is that the script is made for a dim-witted action movie, like the original. A picture like this shouldn't take itself as seriously as del Toro's dark and heavy visuals. The whole thing just winds up looking ridiculous.
Then there were the action sequences. They just didn't have the violent frenzy of the first movie, and that thing with the CGI people just reminded me of Deep Blue Sea. What really bothered me was that Snipes never went all-out with the sword. My favorite part of Blade was the big swordfight at the end, but there wasn't anything at that level in this one.
The plot-holes were a bit of a distraction. Normally, I can accept a few and be okay with it, but this was bad. Whistler came back with an explanation that... well, there wasn't one. **** MILD SPOILERS **** How did he come back? Well, he was a vampire. Then Blade gave him a drug that made vampires explode in the first movie. The result: it turned him back into a normal person. Okay. And why did the vampires stop wearing the UV-proof suits that they had on when they met up with Blade? And if the explosive Blade stuck in that guy's head was so darned useful, why didn't he use it to take out the one who was an actual threat instead of waiting for Scud to pick it up? **** END SPOILERS ****
I did like a few things about the movie. The gore was okay, the villain was impressive, and it was interesting to see the cat from Red Dwarf playing a vampire. Still, all together, it was a disappointment.
Holy Smoke (1999)
I expected more from Jane Campion.
How did all of these outstanding people make such a dull, lifeless movie? What happened? Keitel and Campion worked together very well in The Piano, and Kate Winslet's given wonderful performances in films like Heavenly Creatures and Hamlet.
What happened? The script lacks any of the subtlety of Jane Campion's earlier films. The acting is competent, but nothing special. The visuals are flat and boring. Okay, the sexuality is nice, but it's not enough to carry the film.
The entire thing is a waste of talent.
Abre los ojos (1997)
An interesting and visually impressive little movie.
It isn't especially deep, but it does stay interesting through all of its changes of pace. The story is clever, the cinematography is impressive, and the acting is competent.
I don't count it among my favorite movies, but I would recommend it.
Head Above Water (1996)
Not bad, but I wish I'd seen the original first.
I caught this one on cable by accident, and I enjoyed it. It was cute and kind of funny, even if some of the performances didn't really work. It was nothing to write home about, but not bad.
Then I found out that it was a remake of a German movie, and it all made sense. The only thing that made it funny was the screwy plot, the endless parade of insane situations. Everything else was a bad idea. I haven't seen the original yet, but I'll keep my eye out for it.
The Arrival (1996)
Another bland, lifeless science fiction thriller.
It wasn't really boring, and I didn't pay anything to see it. So why did I walk away from this movie feeling that I'd wasted two hours of my life? It couldn't have been the ridiculous holes in the plot, although those did annoy me a little, and it couldn't have been the bad acting. Okay, maybe some of it was the bad acting, but that can't be the whole thing. I think it might have something to do with the fact that I was never really interested in what was going on, never wondered what might happen next. The fact that I kept watching anyway, just because I couldn't think of anything else to do, is a little depressing.
The only good thing I can say about this is that the sequel is worse.
The Convent (2000)
Better lighting could have saved this movie.
It's true, the lighting was awful. They even used black lights and pretended that it was a special effect. The script was a little weak, but it could have been saved by a more ambitious director. The special effects were kind of silly, but that actually worked in the movie's favor. The only real problem was in the cinematography and the lighting.
Platoon (1986)
As far as overrated war movies go, it's not bad.
This is one of the movies they mention alongside Apocalypse Now and Full Metal Jacket as the great Vietnam movies. Unlike Apocalypse Now and Full Metal Jacket, Platoon is not great. It's okay, maybe a little too homoerotic for my tastes. The metaphors are heavy-handed, and the movie doesn't really jump into the darkness the way I might have hoped. The end result is just another forgettable war movie, not as bad as Saving Private Ryan, but not as good as The Steel Helmet.
Kumonosu-jô (1957)
Well, I liked it, but it could have been better.
It's good, but it isn't one of Kurosawa's best. The sequence with the arrows at the end is impressive, as are a number of other scenes, but they don't really add up to a great film. Mifune isn't at his best here either. If you love Kurosawa, this will keep you entertained. Less avid fans may find it slightly lacking.
The Prey (1983)
It is human, and it left the axe behind in the first scene.
The combination of the tagline and the first half of the movie had me convinced that Smokey the Bear had decided to fight forest fires at the source by killing off all the campers. This is a sort of a slow-moving nature documentary with a Friday the 13th rip-off storyline and some banjo-tuning thrown in to draw in the young 1980 audiences. The gore isn't very high-tech, but it's excessive and kind of funny. That should count for something. Boring, dim-witted, and pointless, this movie defines the genre of 1980s slasher films.
Bangkok Dangerous (2000)
Why do I get the feeling that I've seen this before?
From the first shot, I could tell that I have something in common with the directors. We're all very big Wong Kar Wai fans. Don't get me wrong, it's not just a big Wong Kar Wai imitation. There's some John Woo and Ringo Lam mixed in there too. The main problem is that the story and the characters aren't strong enough to carry the slow-moving method that they borrowed from Wong Kar Wai. Still, the intense violence works surprisingly well with that familiar quirky visual style, and some moments are really quite impressive. The Pangs should try this combination on a more fast-paced script, it might amount to a decent action movie.
When Strangers Appear (2001)
Am I the only one who was disappointed?
I've liked other Scott Reynolds movies. The Ugly is one of my favorite horror movies, and Heaven had some great moments, that's probably why I rented this one. It was a huge disappointment. Reynolds seems to have abandoned his efforts at visual artistry in favor of a handful of easy shots, the cinematography is gratingly dull. The entire production seems rushed and sloppy. As for the script, maybe the dialogue would have worked if the actors had done a better job, maybe the plot would have worked if we had been given something impressive to look at while we waited for it to move forward. Maybe not, I don't know. The movie is okay, but Scott Reynolds should have been able to make a better one.
Barenaked in America (1999)
Lighthearted and enjoyable...
Not bad. I've never really had more than a passing interest in the Barenaked Ladies, but I liked the movie anyway. The personalities of the band really come out here, especially in the concert footage and the little anecdotes. As far as the technical side goes, it doesn't exactly shine. We've all seen better documentary footage. Still, it's a cute, harmless little movie. Not bad.
Bones (2001)
It might not be good, but at least it's violent.
A horror movie starring Snoop Dogg, who would have thought? Well, the people who made Urban Menace, to start with. Bones is better than Urban Menace, but not by much. It has that joke-for-every-killing thing that we all got sick of in the eighties, and the acting isn't exactly top-notch. The script runs like an "urban" version of Wishmaster, bad in other words. However, it does have an appealing amount of maggots and blood splattered in there. If you're a Dogg fan or just a gore hound, you might be able to get a kick out of this one.
O (2001)
Not as bad as I thought it would be...
My first instinct when one of Shakespeare's plays is "updated" is to run for the hills. The genius of Shakespeare is in his dialogue, not his storylines. Without that dialogue, the plays lose their power. Although Kurosawa did a good job of turning King Lear into Ran, no other director has been able to really bring anything to this kind of project. O falls victim to many of the problems that haunt most modernized versions of Shakespeare, most notably the tendency to make "cute" little adjustments. But on some level, the movie works. Mekhi Phifer and Josh Hartnett turn in excellent performances, and some scenes reach a kind of poetic intensity holds the scent of Shakespeare at his best. Those moments make O what it is, a surprisingly good movie.
Hung Hei Kwun: Siu Lam ng zou (1994)
What the hell did you expect from Wong Jing?
Not very clever, not very elaborate, and far from original. Yup, it's another Wong Jing movie. The opening scene is stolen directly from Kazou Koike's Lone Wolf and Cub, that's our first clue. As Wong Jing movies go, this really isn't one of the best. It doesn't match the violence and frantic pace of High Risk (Meltdown) or the exploitation fun of The Naked Killer. Yuen Kwai's choreography here isn't up to the standards of his work on My Father is a Hero (The Protector), but it isn't as bad as Romeo Must Die or Fong Sai Yuk (The Legend). If you just want to see another kung fu movie, and you don't care about the specifics, you should be able to enjoy it. Just don't expect too much.
Dracula 2000 (2000)
Silly mainstream crap, but not as bad as I thought it was going to be...
No one can really accuse the filmmakers of taking any huge risks with this one. Another cute take on the Dracula story, this time he's freed from a vault by burglars. Dracula himself is kind of a let-down, no charisma, and the guy has way too much neck. The violence is good, we all like violence, and it was interesting to see Vitamin C naked. This is the kind of movie that one watches to make fun of it.
The Night Flier (1997)
Well, it wasn't good...
The only way a movie can completely fail, in my opinion, is by being boring. One thing you can say about this one is that it isn't all that boring. It's the kind of movie you watch for laughs, lots of dead bodies. The vampire looks corny, but I liked the thing with his teeth. It's a nice touch. Sure the dialogue's bad, but it's the kind of bad you can laugh at. The gore's okay too. I thought the vampire should have done some on-screen feeding, though. What good is a vampire movie unless you get to see fangs sinking into human flesh? It kind of reminded me of Tales from the Crypt.
Exit Wounds (2001)
More soft-edge action than you can wag your finger at...
Why did I rent this? I don't like Steven Seagal, he's a bad actor and a mediocre stunt man. Sure, I like DMX, but as a rapper, not an actor. Maybe it was the ads. With gun fights and explosions and what looked like a sword fight, I thought it was going to be violent. My mistake. There were a few moments that worked action-wise, but no real violence. How the hell can you put a sword fight in one of these things and not have anybody getting cut up? And as if being bloodless and silly wasn't enough, they tried to make it funny. I guess if you really like action movies, but you're afraid of on-screen violence, this might be a good movie to see. For me, it sucked.
Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust (2000)
One heck of a disappointment...
The original Vampire Hunter D was one of the first hard-edge animes I ever saw, so I was enthusiastic about the idea of an updated version. The previews for this thing looked fantastic, sort of a goth version of Ninja Scroll. The problem is that the movie itself just doesn't measure up. The storyline is anime-mainstream garbage on the level of Pet Shop of Horrors or Sin, and while the fight scenes are alright, they just come across as watered-down Ninja Scroll. America got the added bonus of one of the worst English-language dubs this side of Ghost in the Shell, and the DVD doesn't have language options. It's a crime that this anime has been getting so much hype, when Yasuomi Umetsu's superior Mezzo Forte was released with all the fanfare of a Ralph Nader presidential race.