Change Your Image
stevieschultz924
Reviews
Black Panther (2018)
Rip off of the Lion King
This movie was very okay. I possibly would have enjoyed it more had I not seen The Lion King first and noticed the uncanny similarities. The villain's plot seemed a little overly complicated and cartoony in it's blatantly evil plan with nothing really to gain other than killing innocent people. Too many of the plot points were lifted from The Lion King for me to fully enjoy the film.
His father dies.
He becomes king.
His uncle/cousin returns to take the throne.
He hangs out with a warthog and meerkat while he matures in exile. (Okay now I'm just kidding around)
His father visits him in a vision in the sky in the jungle.
The true heir returns to reclaim his throne.
They fight.
Original heir reclaims the throne.
The usurper dies.
Rain returns to pride rock.
5/10. This movie benefits from releasing prior to Marvel fatigue and before the CGI became laughable. That's all the positives I can really give it as I don't remember a second of dialogue.
M3GAN (2022)
Hard to pay attention to
I was sold this movie as a comedy horror, so it's important to note that at no point in the movie did I laugh or feel any amount of fear, dread, or even suspense.
Most of the plot is fueled by characters making the dumbest choices possible in the moment, and gross amounts of incompetence and negligence. I have to ask why a children's toy would ever need to be indestructible, especially one powered by artificial intelligence.
Maybe this was meant to be a kids movie, but that's a weird sell also. Clearly the jokes aren't meant for children, but the logic is certainly on their level. I just hope this movie doesn't greenlight any sequels.
Skinamarink (2022)
Bad
Not even fun to watch because it's so bad bad, just genuinely unenjoyable.
It relies heavily on bad camera angles and a broken microphone, I honestly would love to see somebody remake this movie shot for shot but with normal camera angles. The focus is never on what is actually active in the scene, which comes across as a cheap gimmick.
The silence cut by poorly recorded noises and static on screen might be meant to elicit dread or tension, but I never felt anything other than boredom. It kind of reminds me of the first Paranormal Activity movie, but without all of the moments that were fun to make fun of.
Over reliance on jump scares is a giveaway that a movie isn't scary. I guess the four or five we got weren't that bad, but all of them felt dirt cheap. I'm sure somebody out there will edit this down to five or ten minutes, you're better off waiting for that version this was a huge waste of time.
PS: The orange LEGO brick remover is an anachronism, brick removers were gray in the 90s.
Blockbuster (2022)
Hard to watch
This show is trash.
A better idea for a show set around Blockbuster would have been to set it during the 90s and make it a sitcom, and have a stream of 90s movie and TV show stars walk in as background characters.
Or just write a funny show.
This feels like beating the dead corpse of somebody you murdered in cold blood years ago.
Was Blockbuster a little slow to adapt? Sure, but they aren't the first company to fall from the top due to
a rival adopting emerging technology.
There are moments that are cringe, there are moments that are uncomfortable, but there was a never a moment that I actually enjoyed myself.
Big Mouth (2017)
Hard to watch
The first few seasons were kind of unique and funny, but at some point they took a nose dive and doubled down on everything gross, and now none of the jokes land anymore.
Also, I think it's kind of weird that they recast Missy to not be offensive, but Nick still voices Lola. Anyway the cast is mostly people who are in other projects that I enjoy, but for whatever reason the humor is mostly not there. I can only listen to so many jokes about masturbation and "Andrew is a creep" before they stop being funny, and they stopped being funny a long time ago.
Seasons 5 and 6 I found myself laughing once or twice an episode, but I'm pretty sure the show started out funny.
Euphoria (2019)
Not a particularly good show
It's hard to watch, there are a lot of (25 year olds playing) 17 year olds flashing their dicks and titties constantly, which is.. not what I would consider entertainment. Everyone in the show is terrible, to the point where I honestly think it would be much better if it were a season of American Horror Story. It's kind of weird that they try to hit really dark material, but then throw in a bunch of fourth wall breaking jokes and cut aways. I could not recommend this show to anyone I know. The editing is pretty good. Maybe if you're really into drugs or sex this show is for you. I just like normal people things like playing with my dogs and good food.
The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power (2022)
It's so confusing
I'm dumbfounded, flabbergasted even, trying to figure out who this show was made for?
It definitely wasn't made for hardcore Tolkien fans, but includes a multitude of names and references only Tolkien fans would understand. There aren't a lot of luke-warm Tolkien fans, either you love his work or you aren't a fan, so again I'm confused what the intent here was. It was boring to people who aren't fans of The Lord of the Rings, and offensive to people who do.
It appropriates English culture, then smears it with American identity politics, while at the same time creating harmful and offensive racial tropes of Scottish and Irish people.
The scenery is beautiful, but the casting was riddled with poor decisions. The characters are impossible to relate to or even remember their names, unless they are the actual Tolkien characters, but that only raises the question of if any of this is actually in his books? The plot meanders around for the first season revolving around a broken sword mcguffin that screams "I'm the One Ring but not really!" And then finally it is revealed that the sword was somehow a key the whole time. Which is fine I suppose, but only raises the question as to why the Orcs needed to dig a bunch of tunnels of the sword was a key and designed to do what they used it for from the start?
Also.. how in the heck did the Orcs go unnoticed by the Elven watchtower or Galadriel while she was scouring Middle Earth for Orc? It was the twist a seven year old would include in their story.
The Watcher (2022)
Not good my dudes
I read an article about the story this is "based" on a few weeks ago. I found it genuinely interesting. The divergence from the real story makes this significantly less interesting. The dialogue is pretty bad early on, as is the weird sexual tension between the 15 year old and 19 year old.. which I don't recall being mentioned in the original story at all..
They seem to go out of their way to add elements to the story to draw it out, but in the end it only feels like filler and dulls the actual story which was in itself interesting. There wasn't any need to add child sacrifice, there was no reference to child sacrifice in the actual story.
Lightyear (2022)
1995
It's a movie that's supposed to be made in 1995, but not a single prominent voice actor from 1995 was asked to make even a cameo? Short of that, ANY actors from the 90s?
Lazy.
Not even nostalgia could save this movie's snoozer of a plot, it wasn't compelling in the slightest. If this movie came out in 1995 I doubt many kids would want a Buzz Light-year toy, it would still be all Star Wars, The Lion King, and Power Rangers.
Do better Disney.
I still can't decide if this movie was made for nostalgia bait or as a genuine attempt at a kids movie. In either case it wasn't good.
Big Mouth: A Very Big Mouth Christmas (2021)
Hot garbage
The Santa skit would have been funny if the elves hadn't turned into adults because they learned about sex four seconds ago.
Cheese baby Jesus was just offensive. Try it with another religion and see how they like it.
Big Mouth: Re-New Year's Eve (2021)
Solid ending
The one line that truly got me to let out a "ha ha" was "How are we in the same grade?" And I really think that that encapsulates what has been wrong with this season. This show started out as a bunch of children learning about puberty and dealing with uncomfortable situations, but instead what we have are a bunch of mature adults that are seemingly somehow experts on the topic yet trapped in a child's bodies. It's not amusing or interesting. It's kinda weird.
Big Mouth: Sugarbush (2021)
Best episode of the season
I think the difference may be that this episode wasn't gross and the set ups all felt natural, but I was consistently laughing. If this season had had more episodes of this quality, I would not be debating leaving the show.
High five to anyone who reads these reviews lol.
Big Mouth: The Shane Lizard Rises (2021)
Gross
Two episodes into the season, so far I have barely laughed and spent most of the time grossed out and questioning what was ever good about this show.
All of the characters meeting up in the ER saved the otherwise cringe episode.
Other than that, it was just a bunch of disgusting one liners about children's bodies, super weird.
Big Mouth: No Nut November (2021)
Gross
The episode was just gross.
There was no humor.
Not every poop or jizz joke is funny. Actually most of them aren't.
Maybe write some actual jokes?
The show has been in decline, but holy cow this one was bad.
Inside Job (2021)
Pretty much not good
I watched the show because the cast looked good, and Alex Hirsch is an executive producer. The concept sounded dicey, but I thought with good writing anything could be funny.
I was wrong.
The jokes do not land, but calling them jokes seems a little rude to jokes.
I think a better concept would have been to play it safe, have the "deep state" conspiracy theorist, but have the government portrayed as completely incompetent to handle them.
This feels like they want to be Rick and Morty, without earning any of that praise.
It has its moments, but not enough of them for me to recommend this one to a friend.
Everyone Is Doing Great (2018)
Refreshing
I did not think that this show was going to be for me, but after binging I only have two questions: when will there be more, and what do I have to do to be a background extra??
Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (2015)
Walmart brand A New Hope
Copies scene for scene A New Hope, while simultaneously forcefeeding boring new characters and killing off the established fan favorites.
Beautiful and terrible.
Historical Roasts (2019)
Zero luls
Made it two episodes in, not one laugh.
It's not funny, and it's in poor taste.
Game of Thrones: The Long Night (2019)
Trash
You played two hours.. to die like this?
I'd like a refund on my time spent please.
Game of Thrones (2011)
Worst episode to date
I was waiting for the coming doom that was the Night's King. I have been anticipating how his hoard of the dead would overtake the land of men, the seven kingdoms, everything.
I was given this disappointment.
I can't even say I'm mad, I'm just disappointed. Go to your room.