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UncleLobster
Was 2010 the best year for movies? The Social Network, Inception, Shutter Island, Diary Of A Wimpy Kid, Black Swan - All cult classics from 2010.
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Yes, where they dress up as bugs - like how they did the cats movie from 2019.
If any were getting remade, they should strongly consider Jerry Seinfeld.
Reviews
Turtles All the Way Down (2024)
I really wanted to like this film, but its fine I guess
The highlight is the amusing but poorly acted John Green cameo, for an otherwise kinda slow film where not much happens.
The first half is really strong. Feeling like it could be building towards something unique and interesting, but it resolves itself in the most predictable way, where it seems like they left out half of the b-plot.
The plot was moving so slow at one point that I had to check that it was in-fact a movie, and not a TV show. There's a reason it went direct-to-streaming, its clearly designed to be watched while you're on your phone, consuming some other piece content at the same time. Like prehaps reading the much better book it's based on.
Ferrari (2023)
I don't think we were meant to laugh at that...
Not so much a biopic about his life, as much as it is a short film about a one race intertwined with 1 and a half hours of boring relationship drama.
Instead of going with a "Less is More" approach to filming crash scenes tactfully, it seemed like the second unit team must've just eye-balled it over a weekend with clay models and green screen wire-rigs.
Almost like the rest of the film was so boring they thought they needed to make the crash scenes really shocking to the point of absurdism, so you'd have something to remember the film by.
The bad editing doesn't end there, unfortunately. What stands out of the most were the couple of long drawn-out close-up shots without any dialogue or music that had us wondering if they muted it by accident or something.
Adam Driver really makes his character seem like the most boring person in the whole film, whining about this and that, at stark contrast to the racecar drivers who seem like the coolest most interesting people, putting their lives on the line for fame and glory.
Rick and Morty: Rise of the Numbericons: The Movie (2023)
Count von Count's weird Rick and Morty Fanfiction
There is one main rule that all rick and morty episodes have always followed, that it should include both rick, and morty. This episodes fails to follow that formula that every other good rick and morty episode follows.
Instead it's another sidequest episode following another throwaway character that doesn't deserve it's own episode. It feels like I'm watching a victory lap of an older much better episode.
Instead we're left with an episode full of lame number and letter puns, one-dimentional boring characters, way too much flashbacks, and characters explaining what's happening, rather than showing it.
I'm glad we're seeing more of morty, but the writers seem to have a fundamental misunderstanding about what makes rick and morty enjoyable.
Napoleon (2023)
This short film was about 3 hours too long.
This losely strung highlight reel felt more like a jumbotron replay of his most exciting battles rather than a gripping historical recount.
They focus a great deal on his relationships which does not seem to affect the rest of the film at all. As if they just needed a subplot, and this was the easiest thing to add in.
Rather than put in the work to make a compelling well-told story, they go the lazy route and miss most of the details. They'd rather keep you in the dark with most of his motivations, which isn't helped by Joaquin Phoenix's bumbling performance that makes Napoleon seem like an anti-intellectual baffoon.
At least an hour too long, having to watch an extended 4-hour cut would be akin to torture.
Oppenheimer (2023)
Who cares??
You have one of the greatest scientific achievements in history and you use it as a background for a boring courtroom drama?
So much if the film is Oppenheimer feeling guilty and conflicted, like that's some fresh take on the situation. When it's a given.
Nolan also goes back to all his typical tricks - jumping around the timeline, 1-dimensional women, needless nudity, and an overbearing soundtrack. Showing he has not grown as a Director/Writer at all.
Cillian Murphy seemed to struggle in the role, he comes across as very bored and his character doesn't feel like a genus at any part of the film.
A lot of the big names take you out of the film, but all the other scientists in smaller roles played their parts well.
It's an ok film, but they should've focused on making the bomb, like the trailer implies.
Talk to Me (2022)
So Fresh!
So many horror films go all out at the end -- breaking any sense of realism or plot to try to get one last big scare out of you... But throughout this whole film, Talk To Me stays grounded & continues with its super-strong edge-of-your-seat story.
The way they use mobile phones also feels quite spot on -- The lighting from it is super-compelling too. I wish there was more of Hayley and Joss, they were a uniquely interesting duo.
It might feel a little slow to get started for some, but it's a fresh breath of air amongst some pretty boring horror films as of late. Very well done, can't wait to see what the twins do next!
The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023)
Lots of memeable references, absolutely no heart.
It's an inoffensive, faithfully-generic adaptation that has absolutely no heart or charm.
In ensuring every scene is packed full of references, and making sure the in-world logic makes sense, they've forgotten to have an actual plot worthy of this mighty franchise.
It's fun to watch and try to spot all the refereces, some which are deep cuts that'll be very enjoyable for mario fans, but all-together this film feels very shallow, more interested in hitting every franchise highlight than hitting good plot points. It will not hold up for non-mario fans or for a second watch through.
It's more like a meme-monotage filled with funny moments, than a feature film with a unique plot and characters that arc. Bowser's b-plot feels like short weird animated SNL sketches fully detached from the actual film, desiged to fill time.
Minor points for all the voice acting, which was fine and even includes a few standouts.
You're just left thinking that while the references are fun for a first watch through, they could have done so much more with it.
Ted Lasso: Smells Like Mean Spirit (2023)
warm, friendly, and a bit too familiar.
This season's opener plays it safe with the same Ted Lasso charm you've come to expect.
It doesn't overstay it's welcome, but you do start to wonder if they can continue these 2-season's-long plot lines much further, and if they can continue to be any amount of interesting. When they start bringing up the same character flaws and the same problems, it starts to feel tired.
This episode is the slowest we've seen from Ted Lasso. So slow in-fact, that you get the feeling that all the story hasn't started fully.
I'm still looking forward to another wholesome fun adventure through the rest of the season, but I do hope they can bring something new to the table.
Eighth Grade (2018)
mehmorable at best
This slice-of-life cringecore film is probably a wake-up call for gen-x parents.
But to someone who grew up on the internet, it kinda just felt like he was preaching to the choir - parts that were meant to be kinda shocking, were boringly obvious.
The plot's emotional core doesn't feel cathartic in the same way as typical well-made coming-of-age films. It's relaxed slow-paced nature kills any intensity, and leaves you scrolling your phone along with the main character.
It's an important story, and very impressive for a first-time writer/director. But it's not a movie that affects you more than a few moments of surface level cringe.
The Whale (2022)
Emotional depth just barely stays afloat.
The plot awkwardly strides throughout the runtime of this movie, before crescendoing into a lazy emotional "and then they all clapped" moment.
This stageplay-of-a-script just feels a little too tacky, stuffed with a circus show structure of "just do something to keep them interested every 15 minutes" and unrealistic character motivations.
It has a few good well-timed gut punches, but it kinda just waits around for them. Hoping that's it's unique blend of disgustingly beautiful humanity will hold you over.
All-in-all, the film deserves a good amount of praise for it's raw emotional portrayal of an obese man, who has a lot of heart, and isn't made out to be the joke.
It feels like hollywood is progressing, little by little.
It's just a shame that the actual story has enough filler to feed a whale.
Jackass Forever (2022)
Guilty pleasure for only the broiest bro.
Just bros being dudes, dudes being bros, bros broing out in a dude-fest of bro-ness. Unfortunately this bro-venture is only one brodude out of ten brodudes -- and that's not a party!
This decade's-old-schtick is a dude-bro's paradise, if said dude-bro is still broing it out like it's 2010 spring break.
This cultural relic leaves any unbro'ed bro in a state of disarray, as they piece together the cancelable quirks of this questionable snooze-fest.
Sitting through this millennial disaster kinda gives you the creeps.
Replaced by 10 second clips on the worst parts of Instagram Reels, this vapid torture-esque documentary of the failure of the human condition gives a rare insight into the richest bros broing out on the misfortune of others, as they desperately scream into the void for enough attention to pay for a divorce and retirement, probably.
One can only hope that this does pay for their retirement, and the quit filmmaking altogether for the betterment of mankind.
Once Upon a Time in... Hollywood (2019)
Required Reading for the only thing that makes it interesting.
Is this a movie or a 3-hour gag?
Because most the movies I watch have structure, plot, and characters that do things... These seem to be all key features that this film has unfortunately decided to go without.
Have you ever liked the intro to a horror film, but wish it lasted for 2 hours? Well this film was made for you!
This roamp through fictional hollywood strikes a delicate balance between probably being nostalgic for the writer/director's favorite period of film, and doing the one thing that the trailer implies.
Most films are enhanced by not watching the trailer and walking in blind, but not this movie. This is the only movie ever in existance which you absolutely cannot walk in blind, not having watched the trailer or knowing what it's about.
Do you know what "meta-gaming" is? Where you use outside knowledge to gain an advantage in-game. Well he's done that for movies, he used the trailer and the implied historical events to frame the whole movie. Well meta-gaming is frowned upon for good reason.
Imagin turning a gory historical event from 50 years ago, into a slice-of-life anime about all the background characters no one cares about.
Like you're at a concert trying to watch the fireworks, but there's someone tall in front of you. That's the vibe of this plotless abandon.
Well done in doing something new in movies, that no one will ever do again. Congrats, you're like the hindenburg.
Sausage Party (2016)
A flavorless letdown still manages to leave a bad taste in your mouth.
Okay, sure -- It only won a single award, from the Golden Trailer Awards, which you may not have heard of. But that doesn't mean it's awful! - this movie also has a lot of heart.......failure...... because it's promoting obesity! (GET IT!??)
Sidenote: If you like that joke, the movie might actually be right up your alley, as it's super-stuffed with ""FUN"" food puns.
Until this movie, Seth Rogan was unstoppable. This movie will forever be known as the turning point for his career, which is a shame.
This, in my opinion, is the worst animated movie of all time. Imagine having 1 chance to make a high quality r-rated animated movie, and making this. THIS!
Sidenote: Again, if you think this review is all over the place and repetitive, and you like that - you might like the movie. Because it's also a mess. A COMPLETE MESS!
I espeically do not recommend this movie to seth rogan fans, as it will forever change your opinion of him, for the worst.
And please tell the director to stick to thomas the tank engine (which is really all you need to know).
Lightyear (2022)
Lights out on lightyear.
How does it feel to ruin a whole franchise? Must be nice.
Chris Evens plays Chris Evens, in a vocal performance with so little emotion, that at parts I was left dumbfounded. I have never heard voice-acting so bad that It's taken me completely out of the movie, until this.
This is basically a reboot of the classic "Buzz Lightyear of Star Command" movie, from 2000, just with all the fun and joy stripped out of it.
A shot-for-shot recreation of the original movie would've been better. I hope the writers get to move on to bigger an better things, like writing TV movies for Hallmark, or writing a cats sequal.
Koala Man (2023)
Fun, Promising, Shadow Of What It Could Have Been.
Hits all the popular highlights of Australian culture in a funny aproachable way, but doesn't venture outside it's snake-riddled backyard.
The visuals stand out, and are a real breath of fresh air, although still its not as good as the unqiue and original youtube shorts, and that comes across throughout the entire project.
They started with a really unqiue concept - and had modern edgy original cartoon shorts, and then watered it down for a more aproachable audience, which made it loose it's spark.
And as the episodes continue, the plot kinda just drags, and isn't actually that interesting, and doesn't really critique society in any meanful way.
It could have been a turning point for a great year of Australian Animation, from a rising artist that seems to hold much promise, but you get the feeling that it all got lost in the corporate bureaucracy of trying to make an approachable hit.
If this ever gets a second season, they should move Koala Man to the big city, and have more sharp and edgy critiques of Australian culture, that usually gets neglected by typical depections of Australia in media.
Sad fact that rural towns are kinda boring, which reflects in the show.
Hamilton (2020)
If you like musicals and history, this is a must watch.
This movie suffers from two small problems:
1. Being an actual musical, performed live on a stage, by real people.
2. Being about history - Internal US Political history.
If it wasn't for these two small issues that completly consume the entire runtime of the film, it might be interesting.
I can't get over the feeling that he watched Epic Rap Battles of History once, and ran with it, over a cliff.
Imagine the current state of musicals - that they are so bad, that just not sounding from the 70s makes it an instant hit. Wild.
If you enjoy High School Musical and wished it was more like 12 Years of Slave, this could be the film for you.
Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)
A temporary breath of fresh air.
Sure, it's probably the best movie of the last decade, but that's not saying much in a decade riddled with medicore superhero films, covid interruptions, and so many streaming services dropping the bag on not being able to produce one goddamn good movie.
While watching the film, you get the impression that this could be the start of a new era of unapologetically weird, fun, moving films - lead by A24. Then you step out of the theater, and put the rose-tinted 3D glasses away, and discover that the movie is actually quite shallow and empty, and doesn't leave you thinking about it for weeks, like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind or Inception would.
It's a sad fact that there's just not much to think or talk about with the actual story of the film. It's fun, enjoyable, and moving in the moment, but won't have you reevaluating your life.
But I'll be keenly looking forward to seeing whatever ke huy quan, A24, and The Danels make next! They have all proven their talent and I hope they'll continue to lead the next decade of film into weird, exciting, moving places.
This is a must-watch!
Avatar: The Way of Water (2022)
Lengthy & Visually Stunning
A good piece of eye-candy that keeps you mostly entertained through the whole ordeal.
The plot is better than the first avatar movie, but doesn't rise past being just fairly serviceable.
All of the visual effects were very well done with no noticable mistakes. It's clear that all the effects are the main reason you should see this movie, because it's pretty to look at.
I don't really see myself wanting to watch any more avatar movies in the forseeable future, as this 3 hour ordeal is exhausting, and could be a bit shorter, as it slows down in parts.
I was hoping for a different antagonist, as this one feels like a bit of a cop-out.
The Rehearsal: Pretend Daddy (2022)
It's starting to unravel, finally
The show is at it's best when it's absurd, shocking, and heartbreaking.
The last couple of episodes were a bit safe and boring. But it really feels like his whole plan is starting to unravel, which makes for some unique and interesting TV.
But you never feel like he's truely unhinged. It always seems like he's in control, playing it up for the camera, and never showing when he's genuinely feeling.
Every epsiode has felt a bit slow. I can't help but think with shorter episodes you'd be at the edge of your seat, not the edge of your tv remote - debating if its worth fast-forwarding.
The Rehearsal (2022)
Might Be For You, But Not For Everyone
As other reviews have said, if you loved Nathan For You, you'll love this. There's really nothing like this on TV at the moment.
But it's less "popcorn tv" and more drawn out and emotional, which won't be for everyone.
The first episode is amazing. It's really unique TV that feels on the cutting edge, exciting to see how he could up the stakes in the later episodes. But the next episode is just too drawn out, and doesn't feel like he's upping the stakes in a way that feels "more controversial". It just a little bit more logistically challenging, which isn't really as interesting.
Instead of playing with companies, like he does with "Nathan For You", he's playing with people's lives. As a concept, it's really upping the ante. But all this child care stuff isn't risking any relationship, so it just feels a little boring, like he's getting sidetracked with an idea that didn't really pan out.
I hope the later epsiodes puts more at risk and becomes more daring and interesting.