ChristopherYoudfan Reviews

Tenderness (2009)

Wonderful Cormier adaptation

[9/10 · 17 May 2009]

I'm a huge Robert Cormier fan and have read every novel he's ever written. So I came to this movie with mixed emotions. I think his books are filmable, as they're relatively short. But they're not easily filmable, as he gets into the heads of his characters and the thought processes are what makes them so interesting. So far there's been 4 adaptations of Cormier's, until now. Chocolate war was an awful movie, messed with the book and changed the ending. Sucked in though to the students who watched the movie and not read the book. I am the cheese, featuring Cormier himself, was quite good - certainly better than it's remake, Lapse of Memory. But it was still flat and sentimental. The Bumblebee Flies Anyway seemed to be aimed too young and was an indie film that tried to overuse its name signing - Janene Garofalo. So I was worried Tenderness, with 2 name signings - Dern and Crowe - would do the same. What it was, though, was brilliant. It doesn't mess with the book as far as I remember it (it's been a few years). It does flesh out Crowe's character, who provides a narrative framework as well, but that actually works for the film and not against it. The ending is brilliant, the tension throughout is brilliant, and the "teenage" actors (really 19 and 25, but they pass well for 16 and 18) are great. It's a bleak tale. It won't be easily sold off the preview. But if you're a Cormier fan looking for a film that captures his ethos of hope through pain, his bleak "there is no light, so learn from the tunnel" themes are all present, which is why his books stand out and why this challenging and masterly crafted film will likely fail at the box office (as it has in Australia, where I'm from) and remain a minor masterpiece.

(If there are any Dern fans there - she has 2 scenes, a cameo really, though she's quite good. Crowe fans - his expanded role really makes him a third lead, while the book was really about the main two. I thought there was room in the film to flesh him out, and they did so nicely. Think about his role in the The Insider - not the lead, but his presence is felt.)

But this film is very thought provoking and challenging. Even if you don't like Crowe it won't matter, and if you've never read a Cormier book, it's a great introduction to his stuff, unlike the other adaptations.

The Interplanetary Surplus Male and Amazon Women of Outer Space (2003 Video)

Awful. Absolutely avoid. No Ed Wood to be seen either

[1/10 · 22 March 2009]

I feel raped and violated after watching this awful excuse for a home movie. Without any context it seems like someone mucking about with a home movie for their mates. Maybe that's why it was shot, but it shouldn't be sold. To start with, the DVD copy I got (from Amazon) looked like a poor printout from a laser printer for a sleeve, and a DVD label also dodgily done. The movie itself was little better than a low res AVI. But hey, the film was so crap you just don't care after 2 minutes.

What we have here is a porn film - with no nudity whatsoever. Skantily clad women (many not so attractive) almost read dialogue ala a porn actress, before getting from one sexual situation to another. That's it. Only problem is, there's no sex or even nudity. It's like watching a porn film edited for a PG rating. It is unfunny. The effects make Tron look like Jurassic park.

And to add further insult, the actors frequently break the fourth wall to talk to the director about how crap this film is and the director tells them to keep going. In fact, the bloopers at the end are often parts of the "film". Seriously, this was so unfunny. It wasn't even so bad it's funny, unless you think the dialogue scenes in a porno are funny. In which case, here's 90min of them.

And finally, the only reason anyone would get this film - the Ed Wood connection. Now boasting Ed Wood as an influence should mean campy fun, but this film's website purported to integrate supposedly lost Ed Wood footage from a project he was working on in the 50s and essentially "finished the film". Unfortunately, this is just a marketing trick to get Ed Wood fans to shell out for this rubbish. There's no Wood footage here folks. He doesn't receive any credits anywhere , and it's not something based on his unmade scripts (like say I Woke Up Early). Nope, this was just an attempt to get suckers like me to buy a piece of garbage. Thankfully the director hasn't done a film since.

PLEASE even if you're an Ed Wood completist, avoid this movie. It doesn't even spoof a genre he was known for (although it fits under a broad sci-fi spoof). It has no Ed Wood material in it at all, and you will simply waste your money and 90 min of your time. I feel raped and violated after watching this, hoping to see some Ed Wood absurdity and instead getting an inept piece of garbage.

Lapse of Memory (1991)

What's with the French?

[5/10 · 25 September 2007]

I'm a huge fan of Robert Cormier, and like the above reviewers, found the rarity of this film most frustrating. Funnily enough though, I won this on original VHS for one pound (a UK release) so now I have seen all the filmed adaptations of Cormier's novels (except for the currently being produced Tenderness with Russell Crowe). The Chocolate War was a poor version of Cormier's best known work - complete with the Hollywood ending. It was a great start, but ended badly. The Bumblebee Flies Anyway was a great little by-the-numbers low budget (TV) movie, and the original version of I am the Cheese (featuring Cormier himself in a small role) was OK as well, though some bad performances and another dud ending change. So the second version of I am the Cheese - called Lapse of Memory (a better title given the fact I am the Cheese/Farmer in the Dell is not mentioned, and is better explained/suited to the book) - is again not bad. It sticks in some areas closer to the novel, in others it deviates. The direction is a bit all over the place (at least on the fullscreen version I saw), and John Hurt's performance is not his finest hour. The child actors are more than competent though. My big gripe though is this - I'm glad its set in Cormier's French Canada (where most of his books are set) and uses a combination of French and English that Canadians speak there, but what is the deal about not providing subtitles? This is a UK VHS (where they don't speak French!) so I missed major chunks of dialogue all in French. There was one entire scene revolving around the mother - looked very emotional - that was entirely in French but I have no idea what it was. Very frustrating. I like authenticity of language (Passion of the Christ was a masterpiece in this regard) but subtitle it please! Definitely should be out on subbed DVD. Otherwise, a pleasant way to spend 80 min, though there's a better film of this (and most of Cormier's fiction) lurking - if only someone could give it a decent budget. Perhaps Crowe's presence in Tenderness might revive his fine works.