werewolfgal13 Reviews

Lady Maiko (2014)

Pygmalion

[6/10 · 11 February 2021]

Essentially this is My Fair Lady transposed to Kyoto. The music is decent, the costuming is excellent, and Mone Kamishiraishi puts in a really great performance. While the English subtitles do try and capture the difference in Japanese dialects, it was a bit difficult for me to hear and appreciate the accent work in this film. The biggest problem I had with the film was just how much more unlikable Kyono (the Higgins character) was because Saigo is a child. I was pretty much right with the film until its last line which disappointingly soured the whole thing for me. Masayuki Suo is clearly a talented director (anyone's who seen Shall We Dance? can attest to that fact) but overall this lavish production just falls a little flat. Maiko wa Lady the theme song for the film has been stuck in my head for the last few days though.

Violence Voyager (2018)

Labours of Love

[7/10 · 26 April 2019]

Just saw this at the Calgary Underground Film Festival and am kind of at a loss to describe this film. I'll admit I was very disappointed that the version screened was an English dub as the Japanese cast was stellar and I'm a big fan of both Daisuke Ono and Naoki Tanaka (from Cocorico).

Violence Voyager is very firmly rooted in the ero-guro-nansensu movement, with a heavy emphasis on the grotesque and absurd. The animation is done with painted paper cutouts that occasionally interact with 3D elements, this style is very similar to the 2007 version of Dante's Inferno which was animated with cardboard puppets. Everything about Violence Voyager is a labour of love, from its creation by one man, to the creation of the park in the story (also by one man), love is the main motivator of all characters. There are many references to kaiju and tokusatsu films ( I mostly spotted Gamera monsters like Guiron). This film is not for the easily disturbed and there is a lot of body horror, child nudity, and violence. While there's a lot of laughter to be had it's mostly out of bewilderment and general absurdity rather than the genuinely comedic. In all this is a great film to go blind into if you love the truly bizarre and underground, or have a passion for guro. Skip the English dub if you're able.

Frankenstein Created Bikers (2016)

Just Awful

[2/10 · 14 November 2016]

I saw this flick at DedFest and am sorry to say it was the worst film of the festival. I really like biker/exploitation films and was sorely disappointed by this one. It's shot in the tiresome fake grind-house style way which was so in vogue 10 years ago and has a lot of AfterEffects filters piled generously over it. There are some cute boobs bouncing through the film and the occasional decent gore effect but neither of these redeem the film. The dialogue is high-school levels of "edgy" and the actors (save Laurence R Harvey doing his best Poirot impersonation) are all varying shades of terrible. Unlikeable and insipid not even a couple pints help this clunker.

A Dangerous Method (2011)

Like Dead Ringers but mediocre

[5/10 · 5 March 2012]

I love Cronenberg. He is a hero to me and a proud part of Canada's film history, which is why it hurts so much to say this was a bad movie. I almost left during the first few minutes because of Kiera Knightley's "acting" if acting entails jutting out your jaw like a chimpanzee. One of the biggest problems I had with it though was the film's similarity to the vastly superior Dead Ringers (also based on a true story): two doctors who are very close are torn apart by a female masochist with severe mental issues who teaches them more about themselves then you would expect then proceeds to completely destroy them when they threaten to and/or leave her whilst she sides with one or the other and permanently drives them apart. I do believe that there is one shot that is exactly the same in the two films where (Knightley/Bujold) is beaten with a belt hands tied to the headboard by (Fassbender/Irons) and the shot is taken from a reflection in the mirror. The most interesting character was Cassel's so it is a shame that he plays no larger role. The story also covers a vast amount of time but feels too long in some places and not long enough in others. It was well shot with a good cast (save Knightley who was abhorrent) and a great soundtrack but it was a bad movie that will soon be forgotten. Let's just hope Cosmopolis is better.

ReGOREgitated Sacrifice (2008)

Better than the first...

[3/10 · 12 December 2011]

Still not very good. Having seen all of the trilogy I must say this is the best. It doesn't get any better or any more interesting so if you aren't going to watch these as a trilogy pick this one. Having to wade through piles of vomit isn't exactly fun but having to wade through piles of vomit to discern basic plot points is downright sadistic. I don't think any director is as pointedly cruel to his audience as Mr. Valentine is. Now, I'm okay with gross-out films (otherwise I wouldn't have given this a glance) and I'm okay with gross out art films (Aftermath comes to mind) but when they are good they are very very good and well this is just horrid. The stars awarded are mostly out of pity for the actors because really kudos for having the guts (no pun intended) to make this and the rest is for having the sheer audacity nay, bravery to spend years of life on making three films that are almost completely devoid of redeeming qualities save for an extremely niche audience. Not many directors would have the chutzpah to do this.

Chromeskull: Laid to Rest 2 (2011)

Chromeskull Returns Better Than Before!

[7/10 · 27 August 2011]

I caught this at the Canadian Premiere at DEDfest where it quickly became the favourite of the night's screenings. Having seen the first Laid to Rest I was pretty solid on what I was in for but set my standards a little lower simply because it was a sequel and 8 out of 10 sequels are worse (albeit maybe only slightly) than the original. Boy was I surprised. Simply put Laid to Rest 2 took the first movie, eviscerated it and danced upon it's corpse. It took the concept behind the first film ( guy in mask stalks and kills whilst videotaping his crimes) and attached a somewhat flimsy although very intriguing background to our killer, and also really stuck to what Chromeskull is all about: knives. Every Chromeskull incurred kill was with a blade unlike the first film and none of the gore set-pieces were gags or really funny at all unlike some kills in the first. The gore was stellar, the acting rather good (much much better than the first), the plot was actually there, so all in all if you like this sort of film at all even if you never saw Laid to Rest do yourself a favour and watch it.

Ankle Biters (2002 Video)

Educational...

[1/10 · 2 August 2011]

To prove there is a film worse than anything by Ed Wood, more horrendous than Tha' Hip Hop Witch or Manos one need only watch this abomination. The aforementioned films can at least be enjoyed with copious alcohol or MST3k episodes, Ankle Biters is beyond saving with either method. I've seen many many bad films in my time but most have some sort of saving grace: maybe the script is actually okay or the director has one or two neat things or there is one semi-talented actor or even the "so bad it's funny" factor comes into play. Even when films don't have any of those factors they at least have heart. Again not so with Ankle Biters. I was promised midget vampires and schlocky fun. As soon as my friend said midget vampires I was there ready for a rollicking good time I mean dwarfs and vampires together at last AWESOME!!! little did I know how wrong I was. Avoid at all costs unless you are an aspiring film maker who just needs a "if he can do it and get it on DVD so can I" kick in the pants.

Film socialisme (2010)

Godard is laughing at you.

[1/10 · 22 March 2011]

Let me first state that I am on the whole a fan of Godard's work and was excited to see this movie, that having been said this is a remarkable film solely for the reason that this was the FIRST movie I ever walked out of. Ever. From the minimal subtitles that only proved to confuse and annoy, to the windy microphones so even a French speaker couldn't understand what was being said. There was nothing in the film to keep me watching save the director's name. Fifteen minutes seemed an hour and by the half hour mark completely at wit's end I left. Not having seen the entire film I can't really rate it, but all I could think was that Godard was laughing at everyone still in the theatre; laughing at everyone that cites this pretentious unbearably dull film as a masterpiece, and proving that a well respected artist can get away with anything and people will still call trash art.

The Awakening (1990)

I wish this happened in high school....

[7/10 · 24 November 2009]

This is one of those strange little films that's actually better the longer you leave it if I had written this review i like the majority of people would have given this a 4 rather than a 7 and that 4 would have been based solely on the technical aspects of the short. Now a couple years after having seen it images from this film haunt me (and not in the way Aftermath does). This isn't so much a film as it is a series of beautiful fantastic images that occasionally make you question the basest of things. All in all a gem if you realize not to take it at face value or look at it simply for plot. One of Cerda's more approachable pieces of work and really a great spring board for anyone's career.

Jack of All Trades: X Marquis the Spot (2000) Season 1, Episode 13

Fantastic

[10/10 · 23 November 2009]

I don't know why this is my favourite Jack of all Trades episodes...Oh wait LEATHER CLAD BRUCE CAMPBELL!! & the Marquis De Sade. So eerily close to perfection. The continuous sight gags make the episode near unwatchable it's so funny and Stuart Devinie is brilliant as the Marquis making some of the funniest faces every committed to tape. The plot however is a little bit weaker than some other episodes. Jack and Emilia go to Agony Island to try and reclaim King George the Third's Crown but things like the conversation with Von Rufhausen (ha ha Punny) and the triathlon of pain make this the least historically accurate and most fun episode of the bunch.

Rampage (2009)

Good?

[8/10 · 9 November 2009]

I saw this at the Candian premiere at DEDfest and honest to god vowed to sit through some of Uwe Boll's other atrocious films to try and catch the exact moment when he became competent. From House of the Dead to Seed to Rampage his next film could well be a bona fide masterpiece! Granted there were some problems but most films have problems and compared to the complete trash he's produced in years past this was his Shawshank Redemption. Brendan Fletcher really keeps this movie up and his eerily dopey presence adds all the more to the ensuing violence. Smart but not too smart somewhat believable. One scene however stands heads and shoulders above the rest and it involves old people and bingo. enough said. Thoroughly enjoyable not too much film school editing and slick over all. If you only ever watch one Boll film let it be Rampage.

Kichiku dai enkai (1997)

Brutal & Brilliant

[8/10 · 9 November 2009]

This is one sick little film, and on the point of gore it certainly does the trick but, if you're just watching for violence skip the first hour and you'll be happier; however if you want a film that has something to say with fantastic satirical overtones, the constant Japanese struggle between accepting western ideals and tradition, and interesting ideas about power watch it through. At the midpoint of this film it kind of takes on a last house on the left feel when they're out in the woods and that's when the visceral gore starts flying. Makes Buddy G.'s Shock Treatment look like Barney and is impressively shot for a student film with some interesting camera work. This mayn't be the film for everyone (I'm a hardened gore-hound and I squirmed) but if any of these previous things appeal to you definitely put this gem on your to watch list.

Gutterballs (2008)

Pure Sleaze

[5/10 · 7 April 2009]

Wow i revel in gore,violence,and sleaze but this just felt off.

there is very little merit at all to this film other than that it is Canadian and has a fantastic set i mean the neon the set up even a transvestite! but no real payoff.

!!!SPOILER!!! From my first statement you've probably realized that i've seen more than one rape scene in my day but this one was one of few that i had a hard time with gives i spit on your grave a run for it's money just outright bloody disgusting and slightly offensive !!!END OF SPOILER!!!

also on the DVD version that i watched audio sucked so bad except for the commentary which was crystal clear the characters even the good guys weren't really human they seemed to have few emotions or interesting traits the saddest thing about this whole affair though was the great title sequence which really just set the film up for failure and there were a few okay kills with some rather good gore a bowling ball polishing machine gag is brought to mind i don't know Torched was way better see that instead

only watch if hardcore otherwise complete waste of time 5/10