discogoth Reviews

Girls Demand Excitement (1931)

Worst film?

[16 March 2004]

Apparently, John Wayne himself mentioned that he felt this was the worst film he made in his career. That's saying a lot compared with the dozens of routine, generic B westerns he pumped out during the 30's and critically ravaged films like The Barbarian And The Geisha, and particularly the notorious The Conqueror (which I personally think is good!). No wonder Girls Demand Excitememt has never been released, and probably never will...then again, most of Wayne's lousy 30's westerns are commonly available on video and dvd.

Wayne completists like myself will not be satisfied until every one of his films is made commercially available! Fortunately, every year a few more of his long neglected films get released on dvd.

Hard to Remember (1974)

"It's only good for p***ing now!"

[1/10 · 13 March 2002]

Haha, that's easily the only good thing I remember about this piece of trash! I remember when I first saw this and thought "Whoa, Rutger must be pretty embarrassed to have done this", well, he did get to do a pretty hot chick in this one, and it's surprisingly graphic, with only penetration the only part of the act not directly shown!

Blossi/810551 (1997)

And the point is?

[3/10 · 20 December 2001]

This movie suffers from the same disease that many European films seem to have, and that's trying really, really hard to have an American flavour, in this case a pointless road movie of two completely dim witted characters, one of which is the guy, a red mohawk toting drunkard and drug addict, and a completely hot, leggy Scandinavian blonde who listens to techno music and dresses in tight, revealing clothes.

Everything about the characters seemed so fake to me. A dangerous underground drug scene in Iceland?? Right...next time I'm there I'll make sure to stay off the mean streets of Reykjavik. Somebody said that the style is very Tarantino-esque, and I'd have to agree. And what was with that big ugly leather studded shotgun toting ape?? Now, I'm not Icelandic and have never been there, but these rejects in the film really don't seem like the type of people you would find in an isolated country like that, but I could be wrong, after all, if a freak like Bjork can come from there, anything's possible.

The acting was more or less nonexistent, and the dialogue was so bad that it seemed like it was being made up as they went along.

I only liked two things about this movie; 1) it was a rare opportunity to see much of Iceland, a country that gets almost no attention (and in this case, the scenery that was shown wasn't even all that interesting), and 2) the lead actress was a completely gorgeous blonde with a body to die for and sexy clothes that made sure that you would notice. Since I caught this movie on late night cable I naturally assumed "oh wow, a hot model in an artsy-fartsy tries-so-hard-to-be-hip European teenager road movie...that means lots of explicit sex and nudity!". I swear that's the only thing that kept me watching this terrible movie, and guess what?? Even in that aspect I was let down. You get to see her lounge around a lot in a black bra and thong, but I only saw one lousy sex scene and in that they didn't even show anything! What a waste of talent!

Medicine Man (1992)

Solid rainforest drama

[7/10 · 9 December 2001]

When this movie came out in 1992, many critics seemed to feel that it was mediocre, or average at best. Even as a hardcore Connery fan I avoided the film simply based on a handful of reviews I had read in the media at the time.

Fast forward nearly ten years and the mixed reviews here on imdb reinforced my apathy towards the film. It wasn't until I borrowed a copy through a local library that I finally watched the movie just now, and I fail to see why it's supposedly not up to par. I thought it was a fine film in most respects: the storytelling was good, the dialogue was snappy, the cinematography was wonderful, and it had a positive message. It's not an action movie, but I never felt bored at all...if anything, it was a refreshing change of pace and scenery, and Sean Connery continues to astound me with his versatility. His acting was superb, which is not really a big suprise, but he seemed more into this role than some others I've seen him in. Even the wig and ponytail looked real!

Like a lot of other people, I found Lorraine Bracco's character quite annoying, almost insufferable at certain points, but that's the whole point: her character is supposed to be like that, and the truth is that if she didn't come across as so irritating then that would have been failed acting skills on her part. I think she did a great job at being annoying, which is what she was supposed to do. I imagine that if you took some ivy league lab rat scholar and dumped them right in the middle of a situation and place that's totally foreign to them, you'd probably get a reaction like the one she portrayed. I found the two leads had a good chemistry, and the constant tension and conflict between them was very convincing and helped to propel the story along.

All in all an enjoyable film, but some of the other aspects could have and should have been expanded. I felt that they spent too much time searching the trees for the plant they needed, and the whole conflict with the developers was thrown in at too late a juncture. These aren't major failings however, so I'd recommend the film to anyone looking for something a bit different, and it's a must for any Connery fan. Don't wait ten years to see it simply because some critics didn't think it was a masterpiece. Screw the critics!

Ocean's Eleven (1960)

Good old fashioned well humoured heist flick

[8/10 · 9 December 2001]

I haven't seen the new remake of this movie yet, but they have some pretty big shoes to fill. Technically Ocean's Eleven may not be a great film, but whatever minor plot shortcomings that exist are made up for in spades by immeasurable style.

I'm not going to explain the plot, as I'm sure that 50 other people already have. It's been a while since I've watched an older movie, so I found the loose-yet-confident chemistry and acting of the brat pack members to be very refreshing. They seemed so natural around each other, which is no surprise considering that they were buddies in real life. Sammy Davis Jr. was his usual charismatic self (why didn't he take off with the money??), Dean Martin seemed to be playing himself, a bit tipsy and sweaty with a drink in one hand and a smoke in the other, as he does in most of his films, and Frank Sinatra was also good as the understated womanizing organizer. However, I thought that Cesar Romero (known for his manic portayal of the Joker in the 60's Batman tv series) really stole the show right out from under the overly confident brat pack...I found his performance to be very commanding and impressive. A nice surprise to see comedian Red Skelton and Norm Fell (Three's Company's Mr. Roper!) in there as well!

A few things hilariously go unexplained, like how they all managed to get casino jobs virtually overnnight, but it hardly seemed to matter. You know this movie is basically just a vehicle for the brat pack, and it's pure entertainment to just watch all these legends hamming it up, especially during the couple of musical interludes where you get to hear Dean Martin and Sammy Davis Jr. croon a few really catchy songs, like E-O Eleven!

At the same time it's also a window into another era, a time of larger than life Hollywood stars. Another thing that really jumped out at me was how unabashedly politically incorrect this movie is, showcasing a dramatically different mentality than what we see in movies today. Ocean's Eleven is a pure guy flick, where all the women are no more than window dressing and are treated as such by the male characters. As dated as the macho attitude of the film may seem nowadays (and even already by late 60's standards), I found it to be a fascinating glimpse into the past when guys were guys and women were umm, dames! As ironic as it is, I found seeing this old movie without the typical modern day contrived politically correct preaching to be very refreshing, and somehow strangely rebellious!

Monster Dog (1984)

What's that smell?

[1/10 · 5 December 2001]

Oh man, an average 4.2 rating for this unadulterated turd?? Lemme just say that I've gotta be one of the biggest Alice Cooper fans out there...I've got all the albums and videos, and I only sought out Monster Dog simply because he's in it, but lets be honest here: even if you're a Cooper fanatic, you've got to be mad to think that this movie is even watchable!

It's nothing more than your standard cheesy 80's horror slasher flick, but not even bad enough to be entertaining! It's a Spanish film that stars a rock star who at the time was in the nadir of his career, to just give you a hint of what to expect with this. As if the cliched dialogue wasn't painful enough, the dubbing into English is excruciating, and just why did they dub over Alice's voice as well??

Oh man, the only redeeming quality I can find about Monster Dog is that there are 2 great Alice Cooper songs included in the movie which are only available on the 4 cd boxset, and the videos for the songs within the movie are so cheesy and unprofessional looking that they're a real hoot! Naturally I taped them, but skipped everything else.

Easily one of the worst movies I've ever seen...without liberally using the fast forward button there's no way I would have been able to sit through it.

Actually, now that I think of it, there's a few amusing minutes worth of scenes half way where you get to see Alice running around a mansion blowing people away with a shotgun in full gothic garb, complete with leather pants, victorian poet shirt, blue eye shadow, and poofy 80's hair!

But even that is something that only die hard fans would really appreciate...I can't see anyone else liking anything about the film; in fact, the only person who's weird enough to be able to watch it in its entirety AND enjoy it, is probably Alice Cooper himself!

The Wind and the Lion (1975)

Could have been great...

[6/10 · 5 December 2001]

Just watched The Wind And The Lion last night...decent adventure yarn, but I was annoyed by the huge unexplained holes in the plot that didn't make any sense, and while some actors did a great job, there were others who were terrible! At times the dialogue was kinda cheesy as well. I thought Connery was ok in the role, but it certainly wasn't his best performance...his Scottish/Arabic hybrid accent was laughable. The visuals were nice, and the music score had some great parts. All in all an ok movie, but I was disappointed that its full potential was not realized.

*SPOILER ALERT*

Maybe part of my problem is that I'm a history major and I have to say that they took rather large liberalities with the plot...the movie is definitely fiction based on real events, rather than an accurate historical portrayal. There's nothing really wrong with that, but when they put certain scenes in the movie that make no political sense in context of the time and setting, then I get kind of annoyed, but bah, maybe I'm reading too much into it...it is just entertainment after all. I guess I'm referring to the tactless way the Americans invaded Morocco, despite the presence of all the great European powers (which is ridiculous), or the scene near the end where an all out battle occurs between the American and German factions over the prisoner, which is silly and never explained, and just what did the Germans want with Connery's Raisouli? To me it just looks like they were added into the plot at the very end just as a cheap excuse to stage action scenes with the usual stereotypical Hollywood villains (Germans).

I also feel that there was too much inappropriate humour, such as scenes where Connery's character helplessly sulks and complains when laughed at by the kidnapped children and by his own men over his lack of control over Candice Bergen...believe me, a truly ruthless, brutal leader would not act in such a manner. I think the film would have worked much better had the tone been much more serious, rather than trying to work subtle elements of romantic comedy into the story. The smirks you see on Connery's face and his men really sap the necessary feeling of danger and suspense that the film should have...I never felt like any of the characters were particularly dangerous, especially whenever Connery would spout off so-called "deep-meaning" proverbs that came across as completely cheesy, and had my friend and I rolling our eyes and laughing when we weren't supposed to.

At least Connery and Bergen never got it on, because that would have been unrealistic and painful to watch...I was quite relieved that they left that cliche out, but Bergen's sudden Stockholm Syndrome turn at the end and the Americans' unflinching willingness to go along with her plan was pretty dumb I have to say.

That having been said, it isn't a downright *bad* film, it just could have been much better.