chrismorton Reviews

Starship Troopers 3: Marauder (2008 Video)

the only surprise was that I watched it to the end

[3/10 · 16 July 2008]

I don't know why I kept watching to the end, but I did anyway and it really wasn't worth my (or anyone else's for that matter) time.

you don't need a big budget to make a good film, but it's impossible to hide a bad one with a small budget and this one must have had a REALLY small budget.

I was surprised to see Jolene Blalock's name attached to this being a star trek fan I thought she might bring something to the movie, but I'm starting to understand why she was cast as an emotionally void Vulcan in Enterprise. I'd also read comments about the state of her lips and thought it was just internet geeks going overboard, but they are really big now, significantly moreso than in her trek role, I think she needs to ease off on the collagen before they take over her face, they're starting to look like she was beaten up.

the SFX would have embarrassed the Red Dwarf crew at times they were so bad. For an example of how bad it gets check out the scene on the ship at warp where the view out the window isn't even CGI but some space scene on a long roller rolled past the window really quickly with the same repeating pattern over and over. I honestly don't think I've seen that done since the 70's! even the bug CGI is barely up to video game standards and not a patch on the original (which is 11 years old (1997) now and still looking much better than anything in ST3).

seriously guys, if you don't have the budget to make it properly, just don't make it at all, for your own sakes as professionals as well as for the sake of your fans. didn't you learn anything from ST2?

Jeepers Creepers (2001)

A good start, but lacks the stamina for a good finish.

[21 October 2001]

I great idea for a film. that made me jump several times, but also had me screaming at the characters for being such horror film clichés.

but i was getting into it good and proper.

and then...........

oh, what was that? did it end? where's the rest of the film?

was there some sort of catastrophe on the cutting room floor that nobody noticed?

OK Victor Salva, where's the rest of it? It's fine to be all arty and to try and do something different and turn your back on convention, but not at the expense of a potentially good film.

you could have really been remembered for this one, but alas i think not. you can't keep audiences at the edge of their seats and then....

well go and watch it. but be prepared to go and get half of your money back afterwards.