Dario_the_2nd Reviews

A Good Day to Die Hard (2013)

Hope it dies out ASAP!

[2/10 · 29 August 2013]

Finished "Die Hard 5" aka "A Good Day to Die Hard" (2013) this is one hell of an utterly piece of dull action packed film, Bruce is getting a little old, not only do you spot it in several close-ups but the most explicit evidence is that we don't see Bruce in any way in action, no fighting scenes, no running around, no jumping of buildings, nope Bruce i guess his physical-condition is gone...

Of the couple of reviews i read people state that they left out his famous, ... and i quote...

"You'll never hear our hero swear, nor complete his Yippee-Ki-Yays, because for the sake of a lower rating, he got unceremoniously muted. And that's utter disrespect both to the character, and the fans. "

Wellin my version (the extended) he said it towards the end of the movie quite clear and out-loud, "Yippee-Ki-Yay Mother F....r"! So i guess that depends the version you're watching, nevertheless the short or the long edit, this movie is a dull repetitive-action packed piece of s**t, i hope it will die quick so we're saved on a 6th possible installment, fingers crossed and hope not, waste of time, energy and tons of money!

Baby Shower (2011)

Rosemary's baby on speed...

[4/10 · 10 April 2013]

Baby Shower (2011) - 4 former classmates having a reunion to celebrate the 1st-born of one of them.

-As a big fan of Spanish movies, in this case a South-American Spanish movie (Chile), and one of my very first Spanish letdowns! Actors are struggling with the story and are constant in search to develop their character, probably the fault of Pablo Illanes who didn't only directed the movie but also responsible at the same time for the scenario. Wonder why things turned out pretty bad with a straightforward storyline with less till no sub-plots, so... things weren't that difficult. The movie is at moments pretty cruel, harsh and brutal and on the other hand, gentle and filled with happiness. These characterizations combined, develop a barbaric piece of cinema, although most of its effect goes down the drain because of its wrong soundtrack (Dance-music?), pretty poor worked out story-line, messy directing and actors in search of their own character. Fill it up with a lot of unanswered questions and there you are, a movie that didn't really satisfied your needs the moment the end-credits roll-up. Couldn't help it but while watching it felt like a pretty poor but violent distill of Rosemary's Baby (1968). Nope not really a recommendation of mine though as each time in my case, make up your own mind, and at the same time, don't tell me I didn't warn you!

Inferno of Torture (1969)

Totrure, pain and pleasure on an unknown level!

[8/10 · 8 April 2013]

Inferno of Torture (1969)

Beautiful and perfect example of a supreme "exploitation" movie!

-I want to mention as first, this is one of the most weird and beautiful DVD menus I have seen. The menu to select from consists out interactive persons. Depending on which one you choose they will get hanged, cooked or burned. Cool interactive DVD menu. Also the movie is just of a super quality. The print is awesome.

-The movie starts straight away with a couple of pictures, revealing the bizarre stuff you're in for. The cooking of a woman who betrayed her husband. The hanging and cutting in 2 of a betrayer of the 'Koga' clan, who also served at that same moment as test object (on his body) to try out some new swords. The burning of a woman and we keep continuing on this kinda level... So in other words the movie cuts to the chase from the first second. The film continues with the story of the 'Tokugawa Sjogoen' clan, which had a severe punishment system to protect her own feudal system as the torture they used against Christians that consists, up to a serious gruesome level.

-This movie works onto 2 levels right in opposite of each other, and it works pretty well. On one side you have the cruelty of the pain, suffering and torture. While on the other side the director puts a very charming picture, on how beautiful love is. The love scenes in this movie/documentary are nice gentle and subtle. And all in atmosphere of happiness accompanied with joyful music (Emanuelle alike sound). At one moment you have a shot of a young happy couple madly in love followed by the next second shot of the burning of a man in some special kind of cook-sarcophagus. Also the way they carry out an abortion, I wouldn't call it customary! As many other stuff I don't even mention, this movie will pull your mouth wide open.

-This flick is at some points pretty disturbing, as for the moment they beat the hell out a little girl as a few moments later they burn her eyes out. So the movie is certainly for a mature audience and for sure not for the young commencing exploitation freak!!!

-This movie shows some cruel ways on how a human being with power and a certain believe/religion can display onto others. It will take you in a sphere of the 'voyeur'. And indeed ask yourself the Q? Why for god sake do I have interest in seeing this kind of movie? 'Reality-check'? Pretty nasty flick and for sure a must have on the strange bizarre and uncommon. A must for every serious collector. So a recommendation? YES indeed!

Maniac (2012)

Insane in the brain...

[10/10 · 6 April 2013]

April the 3th 2013,about 1.30 in the morning and I just returned of the Brussels International Film Festival, still deep under the impression of the movie "Maniac"! What a hell of a sick ride. Never ever expected an Premier Opening screening to have such an impact as this movie had. As a die-hard fan of the original (Maniac/1980), William Lustig's and Joe Spinell's deranged-psycho on his killing-spree. Well I entered the theater earlier this night with a little fear, what would have become of Aja's adaptation of the story, knowing Aja's work from 1st day on and since, still till today a fan of his work I was a little bit at ease nevertheless nervous/curious like hell. Another reason that gave me the shivers was the fact how would "Elijah -Frodo- Wood" tackle this character? Wel well well as said still under the impression, not only because of the movie but also because of Franck Khalfoun's freakin steady and stern directing work, outstanding camera-work as the sublime acting-performances. Everything and anything works together, you feel this movie was developed as a team, no solo-play by anybody! The camera-work with its fading flew images, all seen out of the killers perspective (we barely see the killer (Elijah) frontal into picture) in the perfect guidance of an impeccable insane psychotic Candyman-like-soundtrack, it goes thru your spinal! This movie is just awesome on any level! It's raging brutal, but gentle and nice at the same time, the opening of the movie slams you straight in your chair and keeps you there for the next full running time! It's psychotic, weird, f'-ed-up and takes you on a hell of a psychotic ride throughout the visions of a really disturbed young man. A worthy follow-up of the original and in my opinion the best of the two although both aren't really comparable because the big time-difference. Nevertheless this is a huge fav. of mine since today. This movie is so recommended, every self respecting horror fan should see this, it is impeccable horror viewing material that features all ingredients of a perfect insane maniacal flick, should have! And Elijah? He's awesome, guess the best part so far of his career! Definitely and without a doubt OBLIGATED VIEWING material, seek see and enjoy!

Amazon Jail 2 (1987)

Slapstickian women in prison film!

[4 April 2013]

A very very rare and obscure WIP-movie, almost impossible to track down is the "Prisioneiras da Selva Amazônica" (1987) aka Amazon Jail 2. All movies ever made were once released though tracking them these days isn't always that easy! But with a big percentage of persistency and patience as money of course there will be a moment you strike that bullseye! Also in this case with a Greek release of "Prisioneiras da Selva Amazônica". That's what collecting is all about!

• Director Conrado Sanchez brings us the sequel to "Curral de Mulheres" (1982) aka "Amazon Jail". Cliché baseline, easy script, sleazy acting, a couple of sexy multi-racial women, some weird and strange characters, such as the rich baron with his black-butler dwarf with a big cowboy-hat doing business selling women with a Samurai! Women locked-up ready to be sold, nevertheless as in any good WIP movie they know to escape, most thanks to their friend "Chubby" a fat Bud Spencer-like-kinda good guy! Fleeing thru the Brazilian jungle towards their freedom, the girls show more braveness in conquering the jungle dangers such as snakes, tigers and of course spiders, Chubby only gets teased for his cowardliness what actually brings the comedy aspect into the movie. The hike throughout the jungle is pretty boring and i guess the director thought he was shooting more of a comedy as a women in prison film. Otherwise i wouldn't see the point of editing a police-car-siren-tune on a couple of ostriches passing by in the jungle! Dhu! Never knew there are ostriches to be found in the Brazilian jungle, but anyway. At a certain point the slapstick humor becomes that high you even wonder or you're watching the right flick! We continue on this level for almost the entire movie. In the end we're getting served on a few weak boat-chases, couple of ridiculous fights with a flamethrower, all of a sudden the women are free, then out of nowhere a few local women pop up in some sort of traditional dance and the end-credits pop-up and that was Amazon Jail 2! Recommended, well that we leave completely up to you!

A Howling in the Woods (1971 TV Movie)

The past always returns to todays!

[10/10 · 5 February 2013]

For the 1-Line reader:

"Outstanding TV-thriller"!

If you agree with this STATEMENT - Scroll down and vote "yes"

If you DON'T agree with this STATEMENT - Scroll down and vote "no" ------------------------------------------------------------------

The more in-depth reader, …

-This is just great quality time! The seventies straight into your theater!

-The story is about a marriage-troubled depressed woman who tries to flee her husband. Therefore she plans an escape and flies over to her step-mom for some shelter and advice. Even before she reaches her destination her husband already knew to track her down. Visiting the town she grew-up in, she feels they aren't really happy with her visit. Is her husband the real problem In her life? Or will she need to tackle older closet-skeletons out of her past!? Or does she really need to fear her husband…

-The opening is quite creepy, little girl kissing a doll in some sort of old cabin, strange noises, creepy dark shadows on the wall and the little girl's face in anguish all guided by a Giallo-styled music-tune. The main-tune of the movie is enchantingly chilling, it's all fairly effective! The director starts by throwing us into a scene that we wanna know more about. So from 1st minute on he knows to set the right atmosphere to keep you cloistered on your TV-screen. Throughout the whole movie the score of the film is perfect. Chills and trills assured by amazing camera-work guided by perfect tunes.

-For being a TV-release it is relative violent, not in the on screen action although we have some animal cruelty, but it's the dialog. The dialog creates a sort of aggressiveness sub-level. Let me give a few examples to clarify and I quote,

Man versus his wife; wife -"You didn't have to beat her." man-"She disobeyed me, I told her NOT to talk to that woman!" wife-"She is just a baby!" man-"Just a baby? She ain't no baby! She's 9 years old! You shut-up or you gonna get some of the same…"

2nd example; Brother about his sister; "Hééé i don't care if she's my sister i'll break her back!"

As you see the dialog has an aggressive undertone. Which makes the movie utterly interesting and fascinating.

-The story or better the mystery about the story starts to unfold little by little thru flashbacks. The film also contains a few rather very surprisingly plot-twists that will make your eyebrow pop up. Charmingly surprised to see a very young "Tyne Daly" who would make later a big career with the well-known police-series out of the 80'ies, Cagney & Lacey. But the leading lady is TV-wonder "Barbara Edené, which most of us will know better as .... Jeannie from "I Dream of Jeannie" . WAlso quite important in the movie, Eddy the husband played by Larry Hagman ( J.R. Ewing / Dallas), Both ladies as any other actor in the movie no matter how big the part, portrays straight impeccable strong acting. In my humble opinion this movie for sure was part of their future success in TV-world.

-The movie very very subtle handles the topic of child-abuse, child molesting and incest, worldwide phenomenon's these days anno 2013. I guess this 71' masterpiece was way in front of its time! The most extraordinary thing is that the director didn't grab these topics and portrayed them in some sort of exploitive kinda way such as in Mockingbird Don't Sing (2001) and An American Crime (2007) however he switches it into a plain normal so to speak, Sunday-story, he doesn't want to be political correct and I guess he tried to be as neutral as possible in his directing! Smart and intelligent. - Overall, a very solid mystery TV-thriller with a perfect plot as a result of its superb screenplay, razor-sharp dialog shot in an intelligent subtle directing with some Hitchockian influences, foreseen with an exquisite sound score. A must see for the more in-depth viewer that needs some quality TV-time!

Now, after reading this you can honestly vote, useful yes or no… Thank you, D/

Pandemonium (1982)

Don't forget to brush your teeth!

[9/10 · 12 October 2010]

For the 1-Line reader:

"Outstanding entertainment"!

If you agree with this STATEMENT - Scroll down and vote "yes"

If you DON'T agree with this STATEMENT - Scroll down and vote "no"

The more in-depth reader,

Let me start with the great opening of this movie. The 80ties feeling beams straight into your living room, the "Hammeradian" sound score, guiding the opening-credits and the credits themselves have this cliché font in its 80ties yellowish color, impeccable!

The movie features every possible cliché, pointing the finger to several well known horror movies. Surprisingly there are plenty of catchy funny moments popping-up at the most unexpected moments. The on-screen victim-counter adds a certain but important extra towards the exaggeration of wanting to be a spoof-movie. The trick works. Very striking were absolutely "THE" many characters that pass by. Only this, is reason enough to give the movie a shot, because I can't think of any other movie that features such strange diversity of mavericks. I was for the 1st time introduced to some weird looking species with special features, such as: The- coolest-nerd, The-most-repelling-female-bus-driver, The-biggest-nut-case-shock-treatment-patient "EVER", Paper-Rocket-Science-Boy, The-school-example-of (dumb)-blond, quite aggressive-waitresses, a Godzilla-stewardess and The-toothpaste-addict, to name only a few. You just can't think of such diversity of characters, and that's the exact reason why you will be flabbergasted over and over by the most but certainly very interesting- aberrant bunch of weirdos, and pay attention, all of a sudden we see Miss Eva Arden in a well known role, her role as "Principal". For those who don't her know, definitely have to see "Grease"! She shows once again her powers and qualities that made her famous. Nevertheless as personal favorite, I stick to the amazing, "Paper-Rocket-Science-Boy! The technology used by him to deliver newspapers is NASA's biggest classified document, nevertheless our paperboy had a master class rocket-science! The moment you think you've seen it all the movie knows to surprise you "AGAIN", plenty of WTF?-moments with absolute tremendous originality when talking about VISUAL comedy. Here I have to mention a remarkable detail, that's the fact, in this movie the Canadian Mountain police comes standard with the horse. Accurate and precisely placed visual comedy! Top-Notch! Not even mentioning the Disney-guided-tour that happens all of a sudden in the middle of the sport stadium while the cheerleaders have their practicing round.

The acting as we can and should expect of such movies is simply said, spot-on! Dialogue can be as penetrating as a freshly sharpened knife. This actually counts for the whole lot. Acting, camera work, screenplay, dialog, sets, you name it is as cliché as it could be, nevertheless it all works flawless like a fine oiled machine. Viewers who watch a little closer and read between the lines will discover and deeply hidden, a plot that surprisingly links us to "Carrie". The movie doesn't try to hide anything, reason why they almost, "show-off" with their rip-off, of the classic, by now well known and used a zillion times in other movies, the Jaws-tune.

Not all jokes reach their intended climax, some of them are a letdown but because of the speed-editing and the pace of the movie, these few misfortunes of jokes disappear straight into the oblivious fields of our mind, just because of this editing and the amount of countless knee-slappers, a bad joke disappears into thin air.

If I had to pick one of the widen choice that are available, definitely I'll go for the: "I'm-goin-to-brush-my-teeth-and-you-can-watch-Mr. decay-scene! Hilarious material. At the same time an "Electric-toothbrush" gets a complete new definition. One of these quick paced scenes, which has an hilarious impact, is the scene where the police car arrives at the crime scene. Who's sitting in the back of the police car, sticking out his head? The Canadian Mountain policeman's horse! A priceless moment!

This great little film, that doesn't prove at all looking at its art-cover to be a comy-horror movie, will surprise every viewer no matter his or her age! The movie is one big laugh and top entertainment!

9 outta 10 / momentous spoof!

Now, after reading this you can honestly vote, useful yes or no Thank you,

D/

Blood Tracks (1985)

Skip the medicine box just put on this movie.

[1/10 · 14 March 2006]

Wanna be rock-stars with cannibalistic intentions? The only thing this movie features is a couple of teenagers that wanna make name and fame in the rock business. To do this they go out in the mountains to record a video-clip. The only thing the screenwriter knew to write was how to let them whinge and nag for about 90 minutes about actually how cold the snow is. The cannibal part he forgot. This movie features all over plot line mistakes –holes and many more next to the bad acting and poor dialog. I fear while writing the scenario the writer's brain was numbed by the cold and probably the booze he had to try and keep warm. Maybe they should have provided the actors with the needed booze to boost up their performances and acting-skills. Nevertheless I have one statement to make, when you have a hangover, skip the medicine box just put on this movie! Boring all over and a serious tranquilizer.

Dario/

The Incredible Shrinking Man (1957)

It's a big big world...

[8/10 · 14 February 2006]

The Incredible shrinking man is one of these little gems that pop-up by time. Richard Matheson turning his own novel into a perfect scenario ending up in a real quality celluloid adventure.

It's a 1954 classic that belongs in the must see list of every movie-buff. Not is it only an iron-strong story filled with extreme powerful acting it's also amazingly in it's special effects for that time, remember we're in the 50ties. FX that are hardly spot-able and figuring out in exact which way they did it is one of the pleasures. The FX are really outstanding, everything you see is and feels real. Keep an eye on the suspense created by director Jack Arnold in the attack of the spider scene. No use of dummies or other fake material. Realism here is to key towards success in many of such scenes.

The story handles the narrative of a guy, Scott Carey who starts to shrink little by little throughout a nature phenomenon that affected him while he was on a boat trip. Once down to a couple of inches he has to fight his way thru the vicious incredible gigantic world. His surroundings becoming a fierce jungle and the only thing he can rely on are his primordial survival skills. Even the most ferocious little things and creatures turning into rancorous phenomenon's of another world.

The plot is simple though pretty strong and worked out in a superior way. There are little till none faults, open plot lines or story mistakes to be found. Actually more the opposite. By watching the movie you will discover they have covered each and every little detail. An example; at a certain moment Scott has to cut some pieces of cloth. Though no knife available. He solves the problem in the exact same way as I would do it myself. Which is a little element but indeed an efficient one and it proofs that the writers took care of even the littlest detail. Not that many people would look onto it in this way to think of solving it like that though it's so evident. Maybe even so obvious you just don't see it in the first place. More of these little details will become clear throughout the movie which only proofs the capacities of the writer, Richard Matheson.

I can and will recommend this outstanding piece of celluloid to everyone who loves his classics. Bloodhounds or a younger audience wont see the benefit of watching a movie like this, although films like these are the roots of our today's cinema. Not only it's a must see it's also a must have for every collector who's into the exceptional cinematographically masterpieces of the past century.

7.5 outta 10 Written by Dario the 2'nd IMDb horror boarder.

Anger Management (2003)

Nicholson did better already...

[5/10 · 3 July 2005]

Anger management is one of these movies that wants to serve you on some smart witty and intelligent humor. Jack Nicholson's performance is great though can't be placed on the same quality level as he knew to spread in the movie "As good as it gets". Nevertheless as you can beat some of the ever-returning clichés in this movie you're in for some fun moments. Certainly the every living happily ever after cliché is a tough one to beat. Not a masterpiece at all, more a film with an overall average of everything.

I wouldn't recommend it, instead I say the must see is "As good as it gets".

5outta 10. Dario/

Macho Killers (1977)

The director took a gamble, though a wrong bet...

[1/10 · 28 June 2005]

As a fan of the violent Spaghetti Westerns I was pretty disappointed in this wanna be! The movie handles the story of "El Macho", a violent gambler who earns his money in 2-day poker games. One day a local sheriff finds out he's the spitting image of the "Buzzard". The perfect opportunity for the arm of the law to replace the "Buzzard" who was recently killed in a gunfight. This way they have the perfect occasion as solution to infiltrate the gang of The Duke. One detail though, the Buzzard wasn't the smartest nor the toughest gang member. He was more like the low life of the bunch everyone picked on. This information didn't suit "El Macho" at all, as a brutal gambler he couldn't take someone picking on him in any way!

The story itself sounds appealing, though the director hits the ball completely in the wrong direction. Instead of delivering a strong original story he serves us a boring and uninteresting plot in a mixture of a totally off beat soundtrack, bad acting and slow motion scenes which will bug the hell out of you while watching this film.

The look of the movie itself is dull and dark, the director must have shot his movie on sun-less days. One of the main characteristics of a Western flick, deserts filled with sweaty cowboys thru a burning sun? Well don't search for it in this picture, you wont find any sweat on their faces or a sunny desert scenes! The scenery in the back drop is mind-numbing and for sure something we've already seen 1000 times before.

The promised violence, which brands most of these typical westerns, is also not to be found. The gun battles are short and you will loose most of the action thru the smoke. I know in that time, firing a gun was accompanied by some smoke of the black powder that ignited though I guess the FX-crew overdid it a little too much!

I guess I hit the ball completely like it should be hit by stating we have a disappointing western flick, which deserves a full 1 out of 10.

Dario/

Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow (2004)

Amazing...

[9/10 · 9 April 2005]

Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow is a mind-dazzling flick that serves you images that almost go beyond believe. Astonishment over and over again while each minute of the movie rolled by. The FX and CGI are of one of the highest possible quality standards. The sets, sceneries and cloths, not even to mention the design of the Alien ships, airplanes and every possible monster that features in this breathtaking film. The actors adapt perfect and know how to set a sublime performance against the blue screen, which isn't any easy job as you consider this is as acting into thin air. In my humble opinion the movie is also a tribute towards H.G. Wells's "The War of the Worlds". In that same opinion, I discovered also a tribute to Ray Harryhousen for his past beautiful creatures / monster designs. The CGI department knew how to recreate in an almost perfect way and you'll be served plenty in this film. The comic book feeling as the "Hero" side of the story you have to take as a burger. You'll have to take it like it comes, but who doesn't enjoy a lot of pleasure by times eating a big fat burger without actually asking what about the nutrition value. The picture certainly more value through the sepia effect they used instead of full colour and was for sure a good decision of the director as the rest of the film crew. So are you in for just a quality flick which doesn't ask too much of your brains? Maybe one that will astonish you by showing you over and over again what's possible with today's CGI. Then this is for sure the one you need to see! I loved this movie, while in fact this one is totally not in my league!

9 outta 10

Dario/

Dracula 3000 (2004)

Pathetic, is the word that defines this movie.

[1/10 · 29 March 2005]

I can't mention one good thing about this movie. Everything about this movie is "pathetic". Actors, sets, storyline, performances, clothes, directing, FX, you name it. This movie is such a waste of good time, money and energy that I think this flick actually should be ashamed to even be out there on the movie market. The director should be ashamed of himself that he even had the courage to deliver such piece of garbage. The film is one big joke from the first minute till the very last minute. The harder I try to give at least one positive remark about the movie the more it gets clear to me that this is something impossible. Everything in this film failed over and over again. The thing, which bothered me the most, was to see that an actor as Udo Kier connected his name towards such a piece of crap. Unbelievable. Is he really so desperate to get back into the pictures? Or is he just so desperate for money that he would do anything to get it? I don't know. All I know is that this movie is a waste of many peoples time and money, also yours if you rent or buy it to actually see it. Avoid…

1 outta 10 Dario/

Shark Attack 3: Megalodon (2002 Video)

OMG OMG OMG !!!Help us Oooo Lord! For some...

[1/10 · 1 March 2005]

...comments made on this movie…

I just finished watching Shark Attack III. Popped onto IMDb to write a comment about this movie and I discover the following comment on the main page of that flick!

I DO FEEL THE URGE TO INTERACT RIGHT HERE!!!!

And I quote;

(quote) "User Comments: 1 out of 1 people found the following comment useful:- Megalodon? More like MEGA AWESOME!!!!, 22 May 2004

Author: Martini_Boy from Hoboken If you ever had doubts of a cinematic higher power this is your proof. For surely such a perfect movie could not exist with the limited abilities of mere mortals.

I applaud you Shark Attack 3: Megalodon. Bravo. Had I been in charge I probably would have called it quits thinking I could never top the super smash hit Shark Attack 2, but you prove me to be a fool.

Number one: The Chemistry between Barrowman and McShane...WOW!!! Like a modern day Romeo and Juliet these two decide to take on a shark that ranges from 10 feet or so to a whopping 900 feet. Roy Scheider should be ashamed of himself. Jaws was an okay movie, but he is certainly no Barrowman, far from it.With love on the line, I don't think I could be the man Barrowman is. He truly is a hero among heroes.

And let us not forget Viktor Chichov's unforgettable performance as "Male Tourist". Viktor hammers home the point that there are no small parts.

With mind boggling effects that will blow you away, Shark Attack 3 is without a doubt the greatest Shark movie ever.

Tracy and Hepburn got nothing on Barrowman and McShane. I can only pray there is a Shark Attack 4."(end of quote)

I just finished watching this film like I already mentioned and I guess I have a little knowledge about horror flicks and related genres. And this movie as the comment itself are both to go in the world Guinness record book. Under which section? The section most incredible, horrible, stupid, absurd and ridiculous. This movie fails on every possible level. Bad acting, unbelievable fake and bad CGI effects, a complete rip off, more like a clone of Jaws, many plot holes to be found, mistakes to be spot in the movie, simplicity is ace on every possible aspect about this movie. I'm just shock that a person can write such a comment on such a movie without loosing any sleep at night of guilt. Misleading people like this? Unbelievable. I just can't get over it, astonishing it is as, unbelievable! I don't understand in cases like this where people even have the guts to make such statements (read the "Jaws statement he makes in the section above) while we have proof of the opposite. The one still to beat is for sure Stevens's S. "Jaws". People like this make me sick by times. Don't believe me, check it out yourself at your own responsibility but don't tell me I didn't warn you!

-15 outa 10

Dario/ Hacking is a teenage male voyeur thrill power trip activity.

Club Dread (2004)

Get yourself a Pinna Colada put your sunglasses on and have BIG TIME FUN watching this hilarious super dubber horror comedy flick

[8/10 · 16 February 2005]

One hell of a super hilarious horror comedy flick. Man this is pure uncut first-rate fun. It's a comedy slasher filled with a bunch of the so well known ingredients of so many well classical horror flicks such as "Friday the 13th" and family! It even takes a laugh at movies like "Scream" and "I know what you did last summer". Just a bunch of beautiful women, some cool dudes all mingled together with booze, dope, sex and partyyyyyyyyy on, until…the slashing starts!

You will think the same thing as I did "Oooo no not another stupid "Scary movie". Well let me tell you this, it isn't the case. This movie has some fun factors of such movies but is a stand alone in his genre. It's even pretty gory and features a serious amount of blood and body parts! The end is pretty gory if you ask me for such a movie. It's big time fun of the first minute you pop this one into your player. I had scares and laughs over and over. Yep folks rent, buy or see this one get yourself a pinna colada put your sunglasses on and have BIG TIME FUN watching this hilarious super dubber horror comedy flick. Believe me you will be amazed of actually how good this fun flick is!

8/10 Dario/

Catwoman (2004)

Kitties and do we have some damn fine kitties onto screen

[7/10 · 6 February 2005]

This film was a rather nice surprise to me. I'm not into this genre at all. But Ooo boy was it a pleasure to watch, INDEED! For a few reasons. First of all I'm a cat lover myself. Though was this the major reason to see this movie? Nope the major one was Kitten Hall versus Kitty Stone. And do they deliver some damn hot kitty fighting onto your TV screen. Yes sir! I did read in the past some comments that a veteran in the movie industry as Ms Stone herself would blow away a kind of a newbie as Ms Hall. Though the opposite is true. Ms "H" for sure knows how to handle her female opponent "Laurel Hedare" set on screen by Ms "S". Both ladies are definitions of "Sexy" and "Hot"! One thing I know for sure after watching this movie is the fact that how hard even a Whitie tries to beat the "attraction -SEXY-percentage" of a black woman she will always will be loosing this fight. I would say in this case "Power to the Blacks". So these two hot steaming ladies in a simple action flick, based on a simple story in a mixture of some cool CGI effects and by times some damn funny and surprisingly good dialogs, will be served on some good brainless fun to watch movie. Of course if you don't expect an Arty quality filled masterpiece of a movie! One thing thought that bothered me throughout the movie was the way how they did edit the fighting scenes. They used a fast edit of different shots and angles to create these Blade/Matrix styled action scenes. By times hard to follow and serious annoying. But like I said no architectural masterpiece but a great movie if you wanna know all about the Hall versus Stone"…

7/10

Dario/

Octopus (2000 Video)

Return back to the depths of the sea, please...

[1/10 · 29 January 2005]

Octopus is a worthless action movie. Yep right indeed an action movie and far from a horror movie! This film uses only the octopus as a selling trick. The beast is hardly to be seen in the movie and the storyline is an FBI agent on the hunt for a terrorist. I don't even have a clue why the screenwriters took the effort to squirm into the story a useless beast from the deep. They better skipped this storyline and concentrated more on the cat and mouse game between the special agent and the terrorist. Then maybe we could have had a descent movie, which now is hardly the case. Avoid unless you have nothing else in the world too see.

Dario/

Gangs of New York (2002)

Half Art, half History

[5/10 · 29 January 2005]

Let me tell you first I'm not really a "Scorsese" fan! Though on the other hand I must say he tried to set a movie onto your screen in which he gives a semi part of the American history about slavery, racism, extortion, exploitation, violence and the need as the way to survive in the 19th century. All wrapped in a coat of "Art" to what I guess could be considered as diminishing the toughness of histories reality. In which in part, he semi succeeds. The movie is slow but with a little "will" you can flow easily towards the end. I guess the beautiful sets; cloths and sceneries are one of the reasons. BUT… The thing, which bothered me the most, was the fact of Mr Baby-face Leonardo DiCaprio himself. He couldn't handle the character he was put it in at all!!! Why for God sake do you want such a child for a man's role? Beat me! I have no damn clue at all! Here onto this point my brain leaves me completely, not even one brain cell can come up with even a stupid, ridiculous possible answer. DiCaprio gets his ass kicked off screen by his opponent, who I think didn't even have to put any effort into it, "Daniel Day Lewis" acts DiC into thin air. And what the hell does Miss Diaz try to do in this movie? Did she even try to set a character onto screen with some value? Neither her as Mr. Baby face did succeed in giving this movie the strong performances, which it really needed, to make it a desirable powerful movie. Most of the film's value just gets lost through these 2 characters. Who the hell did the screening? I guess bad news for the "Dicaprio" fans but please be honest and agree he can't handle movies like this. Anyway, if you're into being served for about three hours of what could have been a good movie if they took their screenings more serious. I would say give it a go and try to avoid Di as Daz as much as possible. This movie is really worth seeing for ""Daniel Day Lewis" who sets an astonishing "Butcher" character onto your TV screen.

Dario/ 5/10

I Love Your Work (2003)

Who is out of control, the movie or the audience?

[4/10 · 25 January 2005]

This film is what I fear a complete "own opinion" seeking movie. In my humble opinion the movie tries to hard to be and give you that "Arty" feeling. In the beginning it all seems to turn out to be nice and successful although it will turn out after about 30 min into "boring" and "too much" of it! A kinda OD effect. The over and over arty editing, special camera tricks and angles are slow and keep away the "drive", "speed", "tempo" a movie needs to keep your thoughts an interest locked onto the screen. All these special arty things don't do any credit onto the movie but have more the opposite effect which will arise. In my opinion though it's such a movie that needs each and everyone personal individual opinion. Some will love it and some will hate it. Best thing to do is have a go and make up your own idea. I know this isn't much of a help but that's just the way it is. I hate the movie but I can't assure that somebody else possible likes it. I wouldn't recommend the movie, that's the only thing I know for sure. For me the movie wasn't a huge success, I even hit the skip forward button after about 45 min to shorten the suffer of a slow movie before it becomes utterly boring and annoying. It's a pity after all of the fact that one of my fav "new generation" actresses plays into this flick. "Christina Ricci" she's one of those actresses who has a strong personality and knows how to cash in this ability. She has the power and knowledge just that perfect of how to carry her character as a complete movie! Even with all this credit onto her résumé she couldn't prevent that she looses total control on her character as the film itself in this case. A good attempt of the director as the actors but for me personal? "NOPE"!

4 outa 10 Dario/

The Survivors of the Bounty (1974)

The survivors of the Bounty?

[8/10 · 23 January 2005]

It could be the true story of the survivors from the "Mutiny on the Bounty" who stranded on the island of "Emanuelle and the last cannibals". A group English and Polish survivors are searching for the paradise on earth in the south sea. No prob. they found one (of course)! After already a few hours the camp divides in 2, as matter of race and jealousy. From this point on the movie is turning into a blood bath. If you are a collector of cult movies this is the 1 to search for. Otherwise keep your hands off. Just a pity that it's very hard to find, the movie is extremely rare.

Seek see and enjoy. 8 outa 10 Dario/

Chasing Sleep (2000)

A thriller till the end, good Q?

[1/10 · 23 January 2005]

"Chasing Sleep" is from the first minute it rolls over your screen a perfect and decent psychological thriller. We have an amazing and excellent acting "Jeff Daniels" as the leading role. A little unconventional role for his being but surprisingly enough it suits him perfect. The movie like I already wrote starts from the first second on when you hit the play button as a damn good quality thriller! While the movie takes off and creates minute by minute a perfect dark story it will take you at the same time on a ride onto that downwards spiral of loosing every inch of sanity a human being can possess. Also we have pretty weird scenes into the film such as the oversize baby in the bathtub, blood running out of tabs and toilets as very strange water stains on walls and ceilings. The plot line is based on the mysterious disappearance of his wife, what happened with her? This is the whole intention of the movie, the complete 89min of running time; "What happened to my wife?" Not only this question will pop up but so many more questions will arrive! And then we have the promised minute, the 90th minute of the running time and you're waiting for those answers, as for the biggest one of them all, "What happened too the wife?"

And you wait and,

and wait,

and wait,

and wait,

…end credits pop onto your screen!

If not for such a big disappointment of an ending. Which is so mysterious and open that even the "Bermuda Triangle" would disappear in it, I would have giving it an 8 outa of 10. But this overall serious bummer of an open ending sucks so big time I bombarded the movie without any shame to a 1 outa 10. Did I miss something in the movie; do I need to give it a second view? Well I think I'm not able because I was so disappointed the first time. Can anybody maybe help me out? What did I miss, if I did miss something in the first place!

Dario/

LD 50 Lethal Dose (2003)

A paradox of who's becoming a lab-rat!

[7/10 · 23 January 2005]

"Lethal Dose 50" is a stylish British production that deserves a view. It's a for sure a great and pleasure full time killer. The cast isn't that well known, although maybe the spice girl " Melania Brown" could be a recognizable face. The director of this horror SF flick, "Simon De Selva" sets a pretty impressive movie onto your screen as first time director! The tension is superb and of a perfect level. The director knew how to put in the suspense moments at just the right and perfect time. Acting is of a decent quality though can't be called amazing but actually I think that was for sure not needed into this flick. Everyone played their part to best of their ability and in which they succeeded for sure. Sometimes I did spot some "28 Days Later" links into the film but it never annoyed me in anyway. It didn't interfere into this flick in a negative way. The music is good and adds by times that certain needed drive to get some scenes, even the whole movie into a certain gear so it starts rolling onto your screen and creates that great feeling of being locked onto your screen. Which also gives that extra power onto these "jump chair" scenes. Where into this movie one is to be found for sure!

Not as great as "28 Days Later" but for sure much better as "Dogsoldiers"! A' kinda must see if you're in for a foreign filled film evening.

Dario/ 7.5 outa 10.

Wishmaster 4: The Prophecy Fulfilled (2002 Video)

Please not a fifth sequel !!!

[1/10 · 20 January 2005]

Well pretty much about the same as for the 3rd sequel, from bad till even much much worse!!! Edit mistakes, as once again an uninteresting poor storyline with the same actor in the Djinn outfit "John Novak". He will bore the hell outa you! Once again bad casting. As also the fact they knew how to succeed in it again! A very weak and poor disappointing ending AGAIN! I really ask myself by times why they even bother to make movies like this? I think people who like or love these kind of movies maybe can help me out and please contact me and fill me in on what I am missing in these bad horror flicks! I would be thankful for a possible insight view on why I don't love these garbage flicks but actually hate films like this. There must be audience around who loves these flicks. How the hell can you give this movie a 10 outa 10? Well I will seek comfort in the knowledge that "tastes differ" and luckily for that would I say. I know if I want some quality time; I'll choose the "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" instead! (by the way for those who don't get it, that's a cynical remark!)

Dario/

Wishmaster 3: Beyond the Gates of Hell (2001 Video)

SOOOoooo poor...

[1/10 · 20 January 2005]

The first thing we notice in this third sequel of a poor quality is that, "John Novak" replaces the normal actor who played the org. "Djinn" in the first 2 flicks, "Andrew Divoff". Bad mistake, very bad mistake! Thru this actor the complete charisma of the "Djinn" gets totally lost. As far as we can speak about charisma anyway. He totally doesn't fit the "Djinn" character, gives it a stupid "présence" onto screen not even to mention his annoying voice witch so totally doesn't fit the creature from hell. Add onto this; bad acting, bad make up as effects, pretty poor storyline, stupid side characters with less then average dialogue and an awful ending of this movie and what do we get? Indeed an, avoid like the plague movie!

Dario/

Deep Evil (2004 TV Movie)

Keep out , virus infested...

[1/10 · 20 January 2005]

A really pathetic wannabe SF movie. When we have; A lame story in a mixture of lousy dialogs and superb poor acting followed by some bad CGI effects and an awful creature design, can we consider this in the slightest way as a good movie? I don't think so!!! This movie will bother and annoy the more quality viewer among you big time and this for many reasons. A highly contagious virus escapes, which seems to be a morphing drop of water, and we see a special unit (Delta team) running around in one of the most poor protection suits I have ever seen in a movie. Is it normal in these kinda situations that the women of this so called "hard-boiled" Delta team are running around with this suit half open onto their breasts? I know the term "sexy" sells but please leave some credibility! Would you feel comfortable running around in an infested area like this? Not even to mention the so pathetic "Jerry Bruckheimer", "Hero" wannabe soundtrack. This is maybe fun for the American viewer but turns really quick into annoying and pathetic for an audience outside the States. Once again we have that over the top "Hero, patriotic" feeling the director wants to shove us with, poor really poor. This TV movie is a waste of time, money and energy. And I'm not talking about their money or whatever; I'm talking about my time, money and energy!!! Avoid like you would avoid a virus-infested area!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dario/ 1/10