jprizzotto Reviews

The Apparition (2012)

Boring and easily forgettable

[2/10 · 21 June 2023]

I saw that this movie got a bad rating. This was before i watched the movie, and because of that, i wanted to watch it to see if it was that bad, but damn it really is.

This movie isn't scary at all, just weird, and that "your house killed my dog" scene is just funnier than scary, and the ending doesn't really make any sense, like where did the arms come from? What is the monster? This movie is just... boring, its easily forgettable as barely anyone talks about it and there isn't any memorable parts of the movie, and the "once you believe, you die" has literally nothing to do about the movie.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)

At least its better than the Other Trash sequels and Remakes.

[2/10 · 20 February 2022]

I dont have anything to say here,i just didnt like the movie too much,and its extremely gory and brutal,and the final is... meh. At least,better than the other cash-grab remakes and sequels. 6/10.

House of the Dead (2003)

epic movie fail (in trying to be scary and good)

[24 November 2021]

House of The Dead.

So its,a movie based in a videogame where zombies attack a small town

right?

This movie should be really good,BUT NO,THIS IS GARBAGE

the zombies are really dumb,most of them have red things in eyes

no.... EVERY ZOMBIE HAS! THEYRE JUST LIKE MACHINES! DUMB MACHINES!

I cant say too much of this movie,this movie sucks,everything sucks

but i dont think this is worse than the human centipede 3.....

this movie really deserves to be in the imdb's #100 infamous bottom list.

Thats all i can say,everything sucks on this movie,not much things to say.

0/10.

The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence) (2011)

same as the first but too bad

[19 November 2021]

Watching torture porn,isnt really for me,JUST KIDDING BRO,it isnt for me.

And its less gory than the first,for me obviously but still dont watch this if you are under 18,you'll not sleep for much time.

This movie is on the IMDB'S infamous bottom 100 list,it deserves? Maybe.

And Tom Six,dont make more movies of this,torture porn isnt fun and thank god i didnt watched the last 20 minutes,then,i didnt watched the entire movie.

However,this movie is pretty bad, maybe this should be named The Disgusting Centipede.

2/10

Title (Brazil) A Centopéia Humana 2 Title (English) The Human Centipede 2 (The Full Sequence)

The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009)

i did not sleep for months,because of this

[19 November 2021]

The human centipede is an too scary movie,you'll not sleep for months,the idea is great,but i give it a 6 because the womans are way younger than the guys who want to do the plan,and because this is too gory,and if you are under 18 and are planning to watch this (without parents seeing) i suggest you NOT.

This movie is very,way,way,WAY too gory,it got banned in MANY countries brazil,and many others.

Title (Brazil) A Centopéia Humana Title (English) The Human Centipede (First Sequence) 6/10 for the movie itself.

The Human Centipede III (Final Sequence) (2015)

WORST MOVIE EVER MADE! AVOID IT AT ALL COSTS!

[19 November 2021]

The human centipede 3.

The goriest, BUT WORST MOVIE EVER MADE,and the worst in the series the human centipede 3 is a 100% pollitically incorrect movie at every aspect,and it deserves to be called that this movie is so bad i vomited in the while of the theaters. Every movie i watch on theaters i put on my list but this doesnt deserve to be in my list.

Dieter Laser is probably the worst actor in history.

This should be banned for every single country,ive seen many movies on the imdb's infamous bottom 100 list but i couldnt finish this of how bad it is,left the theaters in the middle of the movie,i left vomiting,of very bad this is,im not taking this too far,and this is real

I. HATE. THIS. MOVIE.

0/10 for everything.

Cosmic Sin (2021)

Why did i watched this. (Cosmic Sin Review)

[1/10 · 19 November 2021]

Well,i must admit i was a little hyped for the movie watching the trailer,i was expecting to be a good movie,an epic action movie,and i did see this on theaters........ Cosmic Sin,the one of the literally worst movies ever made in the history.

This movie is LITERALLY FULL OF BORING CONVERSATION,AND TOO OVERUSED SCENES,Too bad acting,boring scenes that are too overused,and yes! This movie IS in the IMDB's infamous Bottom 100 list and its on #39.

It deserves it? Yes,very much i dont even need to give any of the things on this movie an note,because everything is 0/10.

0/10.

The Mummy (1999)

Classic,Great,Scary

[8/10 · 10 October 2021]

Very scary if you never watch too much horror movies,if you watch very much,this movie is for you. (This contains spoilers,beware of this review if u dont want spoilers.) so,they live in a desert,the movie starts like there is the queen of the egypt there,she have 2 boyfriends,but she always betray 1 of them,and they kill'em. The second part u may know what it is,they go in in like a small "titanic" boat,they got shipwrecked this movie is very fun and likable for everyone,i dont understand the 48 metascore. Special Effects and Visual Effects are Impressive and also the Sounds are also Impressive.

I saw it first when i was 7,im now 14,still there is a few scenes that scares me.

What the mummy does? They kill people,but its not only the mummy that kills,they cut the tounge of the humans,also put the bugs on them,what the bugs does? They can eat you alive and eat your blood,and they transform them in mummy.

History/Plot:8 Visual Effects and Especial Effects:10 Audio Sounds:10 Characters:7 Scaryness:9.3 (if your a 9 year old kid or ur still scared of this movie and is a old person) Monsters:7.5 Total:8.5,great movie for everyone and likable horror adventure.

Jumanji (1995)

whats up with the 39 metascore?

[19 September 2021]

Ignore ALLLL the critics,this movie is a great classic and fun movie maded by Robin Williams,and VERY Scarier than the new Jumanji (Jumanja:Welcome to the Jungle)

some of the especial effects are the worst points of the movie,but this movie is great fun! 7/10.

The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie (2004)

Stupidly funny

[9/10 · 18 September 2021]

Hey you,exactly,you,are tired of bad new spongebob episodes? Never watched this movie? No problem,you can watch this all day,just like its an good old spongebob episode.

Pros:The movie is very funny.

Has good animation.

Should ended spongebob here.

So stupid its very funny (like i said)

Cons: Eh.... actually i have no cons for this movie...

10/10.

Slender Man (I) (2018)

Awful Garbage,also EVEN WORSE than the Bye Bye man...

[1/10 · 14 September 2021]

Dont waste your time please this is just horrible. And not scary at all,jumpscares not scary,jokes not funny,special effects are garbage,just like The Bye Bye Man,awful acting,the trailer 100% better than the movie and yes another missed opportunity overhyped movie,if you wanna this on tv,dont watch,go see on pc,the movie is so dark i cant even see anything,the history is not like the 2012 Slenderman:The Game.

And this should deserve lower metascore than only 30 waste of 1hr 33min in my life, 0/10.

SpongeBob SquarePants (1999– )

Nostalgic and funny

[9/10 · 8 September 2021]

Well,i recommend to you watch 1 - 5 first season,6 - 9 seasons were bad,but i love this cartoon,very funny,nostalgic,and good! If you are a college student,its even better!

Pretty hard to avoid,watch it at any costs..

just skip seasons 6 - 9 watch seasons 1 - 5.

Sonic the Hedgehog (2020)

worth the time

[7/10 · 8 September 2021]

Cmon guys,the movie didnt deserve a 47 METASCORE,it was very funny and luckily they redesigned sonic,and im also a fan of the game,i watched this on cinema and i loved it,watch it! Its worth the time!

Super Mario Bros. (1993)

Awful

[6 September 2021]

I loved the super mario bros original game when i was younger,then i see news that a movie was being released,i was so excited,before,i hated it,now i remembered the movie so i just created a account to HATE this movie,ah yes! Another disaster from hollywood! This awful unfunny garbage deserves way lower score than 4.1,should deserve 2 or 3.5.

Kirk Cameron's Saving Christmas (2014)

Horrible Horrible Horrible and Horrible on all ways possible

[6 September 2021]

This movie deserves a imdb 1.4 score,maybe,this is the Worst movie i have seen on the world,bad casting,bad jokes,and unfunny garbage,good reviews are the fake ones,dont watch this movie in all ways possible.

Strange Magic (2015)

Horrible. Watch other good movies instead

[6 September 2021]

How this is getting so much 6 - 10 star reviews? This doesnt even deserves this good reviews! Bad animation,bad history,bad effects,everything is bad,go watch Godfather or Other animation movie than this.

Early Man (2018)

Disapointed

[7/10 · 6 September 2021]

Could've been better,i was pretty excited to see more aardman's good job,but after watching in 2018,truly disapointed.

1/10.

Underdogs (2013)

Good jokes and good animation,but bad movie

[6/10 · 6 September 2021]

Well,i have seen worse movies,this one,at least,have a good animation and good jokes,but sadly bad movie.

The Meg (2018)

not as bad as people says

[7/10 · 3 September 2021]

Good and intense movie,some guys thinks this is a copy of the classic Steven Spielberg's Movie "Jaw"

well,still not one of the best intense movies of warner bros.

Playmobil: The Movie (2019)

Horrible Lego Movie Copy

[1/10 · 1 September 2021]

Oh my god,not again,ANOTHER DISASTER MOVIE from hollywood. Ignore those good reviews,this movie is garbage in 5 different ways 1. They copied lego movie's history 2. Animation is garbage 3. The actual toy is garbage 4. Jokes aren't funny 5. I just see the movie on cinemas,i just thinked, WHY I WASTED MY MONEY ON THIS.

Liar Liar (1997)

Funniest Jim Carrey mvie i have seen. easily 10/10

[29 August 2021]

This movie deserve a higher metascore than 70,like,its a good score,but deserved more,this movie is extremely hilarious,watch it at all costs and ignore bad reviews.

The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D (2005)

that one movie that is SO BAD,that gets good

[6/10 · 29 August 2021]

Special Effects are Horrible and that makes the movie funny

and yes,its another Strange Hollywood movie,but REALLY Strange

im gonna give this 6 because the special effects are terrible but that makes the movie funny for some reason.

Shaun of the Dead (2004)

if you LOVED fight club,you will laugh so much on this and you will love this movie

[10/10 · 27 August 2021]

This movie is Bloody brilliant! Good idea to make a comedy,but... WITH ZOMBIES! And almost no one have maked a movie with this idea,That one jokes like when they disfarce of zombies and the main character goes crazy and almost dies,or when the SECOND Main Character goes to play but zombies appears because of him,and that one part when the guy with glasses dies and a BLOOD wave of his body appears,is pretty good and OH MY GOD,that history is so good! First it starts with zombies appearing without you knowing that is pretty confusing but then they found out that everyone is dead and become zombies,but theres only a few of them that is not dead,they have to survive and kill them,on the final,the second main character dies because he dont want to walk anymore (i think) and hes becoming zombie (its what i think i dont see this movie in a long time)

well,one of the best zombies movie i have watched.10/10.

Saw (2004)

i can say just one word. IMPRESSIVE.

[26 August 2021]

This movie is GORELY IMPRESSING,the traps are extremely well made and the movie is PRETTY intense! Watch this movie! You will like it!

Mortal Kombat (2021)

not as bad as people say

[7/10 · 26 August 2021]

Good action movie from warner bros,but with Godzilla vs. Kong,this movie was a bit overhyped... well not very bad,but boring,thers just fight fight fight suspense intensity and.... F I G H T.

But not very bad.