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stephenborland
Reviews
Speed Dating (2007)
Rawhead Rex Brought Me Here...
Rawhead Rex brought me here. I stumbled upon this whilst doing a little research on Rawhead Rex, which is quite possibly one of the greatest horror films ever made. Upon my reading I discovered that Hugh O'Conner, the lead protagonist in Speed Dating along with a minor character played by Cora Venus Lunny, portrayed brother and sister in Rawhead, George Pavlou's undeniably underated 1986 masterpiece of horror photoplay. Ergo, I felt it would behoove me to sit with this for an hour and ten minutes. My assessment...if you've seen literally every young adult romantic comedy from the mid to late 90's, then you've seen this, except this was 10 years too late. In sumation, I have a participation trophy I'd like to wrap up and send to Tony Herbert if anyone has his shipping address. Side Note: if I hear one more breathy, off brand Lisa Loeb (sp?)...which incidentally name brand Lisa Loeb (sp?)makes me want to cram a gun barrel in my ear LOEB....folsky, whiny, 90's sounding, post pubescent but just barely, acoustic with WAY too much reverb garbage song, I'm going to sh#t....I'm actually going to sh#t. And you know what? I'll just sit in my filth. I say this because that sensation....feeling, hearing and inhaling my day old Burger King and Fat Tire anal vomit.....I would rather experience that over listening to those plucked out, airy, di#k head ditties. Good day!
The Legacy of a Whitetail Deer Hunter (2018)
Jody Hill and David Gordon Green...
Every single chance they have to be predictable they surprise you. I swear, every single time I think I know exactly how a scene is going to play out, they manage to go in a direction I didn't even remotely expect. They are genius writers. Case in point, when Buck is lining up his shot for the elusive buck they've been tracking...I figured he would pull back and they would share some superficial moment about the value of life...etc. But no! The blood on the shoes even! What a perfectly executed scene. The same can be said about Eastbound when Kenny bats for Ashley Schaeffer and the eye! Who the hell saw that coming??? I will always stand by Hill and Green. They cannot do wrong.
The Happening (2008)
It's happening alright!
This film was outstanding...though my only problem is that there weren't any boobies or fart jokes. Any film like this deserves a big pile of bloody crap and boobs. Perhaps if we could throw the bloody crap on the boobies, than this film would be flawless, though it is close to that now. M. Night Shyamalahasdiodewdjan deserves a lot of recognition for this film. This movie was WAY better than such god-awful disasters such as Citizen Kane, Ben-Hur, The Godfather, and The Graduate. So everyone should see this masterpiece, despite the fact that there weren't any bloody crap and tits. Maybe during the scene where the two kids are shot outside of the farmhouse, whilst falling backwards to their death,they accidentally crab Zoey Deschnaoihjweohdell's shirt and it rips off exposing her beautiful knockers! And after that, while the two kids are lying on the ground, bloody crap explodes from their rectums and paints the ground around them. That would put it at a 10.
Carnival of Souls (1962)
For it's time....
This film stands to be one of my absolute favorite horror films of all time, not only because of it's unique plot, but also because of the superb cinematography. Hands down, for it's time, this film did so much that stands out amongst the rest in the horror genre, and I gaurantee that if you were to ask any of the big name horror films directors of today (Tobe Hooper, John Landis, Wes Craven, and especially George Romero) what their inspiration was to do what they do today, they would at least mention "Carnival of Souls" at some point. The horror films of today and even alot of the 80's and 70's fail to compare to the complexity and unique value that this film carries. God-forbid that it ever be forgotten.