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Grown Ups (2010)
How best to sum up this film in two words... Hell I'll give you one word: "FAIL".
If you prefer two words, I can think of any number of things to say. Since I am bored, I will give you a full review.
If you had told me the premise of Grown Ups maybe a year ago, I would have been stoked... "Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Rob Schneider, David Spade and Chris Rock, hanging out in a lake house, cracking wise at each other for two hours? Sign me up! Whats the plot? Wait that IS the plot? You mean they just hang out and insult each other? OK OK, still somewhat excited, it will be R rated right? No? Hmm."
That would have been my reaction a year ago. However, I first heard about this film recently, so I fortunately didn't have any time to build my expectations for it above "first day of school" levels of dread. Even so, I was disappointed. Grown Ups is a horrible thing that has been unleashed on the movie-going world.
I guess maybe I'm not giving this film any credit. There is a plot; seems the five aforementioned stars used to play Middle School basketball together. The coach of their championship team dies, and THAT'S why they all get together at the lake house. Sorry if its hard to follow but if so then maybe you will like this movie.
What follows is an odd collection of tender family moments interspersed with fart jokes, nut shots, and fat people (Kevin James) or short people (Rob Schneider) getting hurt. Oh and did I mention the barrage of one-liners? Basically, the entire script is one big wry joke after another. I guess the writers realized nothing they could come up with was particularly funny, so they should go for quantity over quality. There are also several running gags (the not-yet-weaned four year old, the dog barking a lot, Kevin James is fat, etc. etc. ad nauseum). This might have worked, if even 25% of the jokes were actually funny.
sample of actual dialogue: (wayward basketball knocks beer out of woman's hand) Woman: Hey! You spilled my beer! Husband: Why does everything have to be about you? Woman: Why do you have to be such a DICK? hahahahaha! funny right? no? anyone?
Problem is I laughed maybe three times, and I'm being generous here, throughout the whole movie. The phrase "one-joke-premise", used disparagingly for many films, would be an accolade for Grown Ups. Oh and lets talk about casting; I appreciate the filmmaker's decision to help make up for their lack of skill by putting as much eye candy on screen as possible (Rob Schneider's daughters especially). But am I really supposed to believe Kevin James is married to Maria Bello? I didn't believe it with Leah Remini in King of Queens, I'm not going to buy it now. And Sandler with Salma Hayek? That one was only plausible because they made his character filthy rich.
I could probably rant about this film for a few more paragraphs, but I digress. You get the point by now I hope.
Running Scared (2006)
COULD have been good but falls short IMO
I watched this movie to help settle an argument between two friends. One mentioned it being one of the best movies he had ever seen, the other scoffed and said it was a pathetic, boring piece of garbage. I came on IMDb earlier to find that there are many mixed feeling about this title. Many loved it, many hated it. Having now seen it, my opinion.
The film is technically very well made. The editing is fast paced and intense, and the cinematography makes good use of the dark atmospheres to set a mood of impending disaster. I liked the little touches such as showing the edges of the frame and film burning through. It reminded me of Fight Club, which was dark and menacing throughout as well.
Unfortunately, in nearly every other aspect, Running Scared falls short. My biggest gripe in the story was the horribly contrived plot points which really made no sense in the larger storyline but rather existed in their own microcosm. Some scenes were completely irrelevant. The hooker holding up the pharmacy to get his medicine? Not necessary. And the pedophile scene was somewhat tense but also kind of goofy.. i hate to admit that when I figured out what they were up to I laughed.. I couldn't believe the film took that far fetched turn. The climactic battle was so contrived, and the one scene where the cinematography failed to impress (I blame the black lights). Finally, the acting was nothing to write home about. I would have rated it a whole star higher if Oleg had been played better, and those ready to defend Paul Walker's performance should remember there is more to showing emotion than screaming and saying the f word 300 times.
I really wanted to like this movie, but after having watched through the confusing story line and suffered through bad line after bad line, in the end Running Scared ultimately let me down. A disappointing 4 stars.
Saw III (2006)
This movie is terrible.
This is one of the worst movies I have seen. It takes way too long for the plot to get moving, and you don't get to know the characters well enough to care when they die... which you know they will anyway. When the judge was saved from the vat of processed animals (which was the stupidest trap in the movie by far) I knew it was a matter of time before he died in a quick and pointless manner. Finally, the surprise ending just seemed kind of stupid and tacked on to me. The one scene that made this movie possibly worth watching was the brain surgery, which was very tense and gory. Other than that, this film falls flat. Three stars.