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Jargy1
Reviews
Grindhouse (2007)
Halfway to Greatness
It was difficult for me to give an overall score for this double feature. So I'll start with the first film and go from there.
Planet Terror is an absolute masterpiece. If you go and view this film, you will be in the hands of a true genius of the camera. From the missing reels to the dirty look of the film to the way characters are developed and so many smaller things I won't go into, Planet Terror is easily a modern day, ramped up version of a true grind house film. The gore is excessive (again, in a good way) and the story is cheesy (good way). There are things that make absolutely no sense but you don't even care because for the first time in years, there is a film that is fun to watch again. I enjoy going to movies, I love the experience. Rarely have I actually had the kind of fun in a theater that I have at an amusement park. Planet Terror broke this mold and then some. This film alone gets a 9.5 out of 10 easily and honestly I'm only knocking off .5 because of....
Death Proof. Tarantino has now lost me as a fan forever I believe. After the literal cheers and laughs and just overall good feeling going through the audience while watching Planet Terror it was horribly disappointing to see Death Proof. It accomplishes it's goal in some ways. It's a grind house film. The problem with that is that it's a classic one, not updated in any way. If you think that's a good thing, sit down and watch ANY of the originals. If you really want an example of how this goes in Grindhouse though, watch your favorite comedy or action movie then watch one. The flow is broken horribly and within 10 minutes the audience went from fun and active to quiet and still. In any other movie this would be a good thing, not so in Death Proof. Tarantino tells no story, has very few bits of humor, and just saturates the audience with pointless dialogue. It's not even classic Tarantino dialogue. It's just boring. And that's all I can say about the entire film. The ending is more about pleasing himself than the audience. The celebrated car chase scene? It's about 10 minutes long and other than impressive stunt work, it's not exciting at all. 2 cars on a dusty road near some fields is not excitement anymore. The film could be 15 minutes and tell the story and that's about as nice as I'll get. 3 out of 10 and that's mostly out of kindness to one of my favorite directors (used to be anyway).
So in the end I say see Grindhouse, go with friends, but walk out as soon as Death Proof starts.
The Order (2003)
Not as bad as people say
As I walked out of the theater tonight I heard groans from people that this movie was horrible, worst they had seen in a long time. I have to disagree completely. It wasn't picture of the year or anything, but it was far from horrible.
It did have a few faults that couldn't be helped though. In order to keep with our short attention spans (around 2 hours for something that isn't epic) the script was obviously shortened. What was kept is the vital stuff, but you lose some of the logic behind the movie simply because it doesn't show the full follow through method. Alex's investigation into the mystery of the film is choppy. It was clear to me that some explanation-giving scenes were clipped. A couple of characters remain enigmas, again I think because the editing floor had to take this away.
Don't let what I've said distract you or dissuade you from seeing this movie. If anything should sway you one way or the other it's what I'm about to point out. I wouldn't call this a spoiler since it doesn't talk so much about plot as elements of good writing...but...you've been warned.
Do NOT go see this film if you aren't into thinking. If you're vocabulary is high school level this film will leave you wondering what's going on. If you're not at least familiar with a bit of Catholicism then walk away now. Unless you're interested in learning it. This movie sways and ebbs subtly throughout. Good versus evil, man versus God, etc. None of this is done openly. It's the full effect of the entire film that brings this about and I find it marvelous. Since I did warn you of a spoiler I guess I'll add what makes this movie one of the best I've seen in a while. During one emotional scene Heath Ledger delivers an absolutely stunning performance. You can feel his pain and his loss and his tears burn your cheeks though they are dry. The way he voices himself during this just made me totally feel for him, and I'm not a Heath Ledger fan at all...at least I wasn't.
So if you want to think, aren't offended by religious babble, and would like to see a young actor giving a performance of a life time, then go see The Order. I promise you, unless you thought Freddy Versus Jason was fantastic, you'll probably enjoy this.
Identity (2003)
Possibly the Best Psychological Thriller to Date
I went into this movie with pure excitement. A movie, dark and sinister in look, with an all-star NON-teen cast. How could it go wrong? Fortunately that question was answered with a yell of "It can't!"
Usually I leave a thriller/slasher flick with a feeling of distaste. It feels too cheap, too ripped off. But the big twist that everyone seems to be talking about...well to be honest it pays off in a huge way. What seems to be more and more goofy as the film goes on, and let me say goofy in this sense isn't unbelievable, just far too coincidental, it all comes across perfectly with the "twist". Unpredictable? Maybe. If you aren't paying close attention to the film. About halfway I turned to a friend of mine and guessed what the twist was, and he and I chuckled. It was that far off what is expected. I was right, and it still didn't disappoint me.
I hate spoilers so I'll avoid them. Trust me folks, this is a movie you will want to see. Read my other reviews if you like, they give a basis for the type of movie I enjoy. If you liked Fight Club, American Psycho, Donnie Darko, or Memento because of a fresh take on an old idea...run to the theater now and see this movie. The acting is a 10 out of 10, the scripting is done well enough to know the characters without revealing so much you're bogged down, the action lets up only at the times that you'll be jumping or biting your nails. Fight Club and Identity are the only 2 movies I've ever seen that deserve an absolute perfect 10. Do not miss this film.
8 Mile (2002)
Not what I was hoping for
I had qualms about seeing this movie at all. Primarily rap stars don't change into actors very well. With that aside let's see how to sum this up.
1. Eminem is definately not the typical rap/actor. He has talent. He can express feeling in his face. Problem is...if you were acting out a semi-autobiography of your life, wouldn't you play yourself pretty dang well? I don't see how talent had much to do with it but I give him his credits. His writing in lyrics is wonderful too.
2. The rest of the actors, who are primarily actors...well...suck. No depth, no progression, no character. It's an Eminem story so don't expect anyone else to have any growth. Kim Basinger especially.
3. Story line. HOLLYWOOD PLEASE HELP YOURSELF! Story is getting hard to come by, with deep emotional stories being overlooked for pretty faces and vulgarity. 8 Mile is a long winded tale of day to day life with almost nothing to do with any real story. It begins and it ends on the same note but other than that, it's just a romp through Rabbit's life...and an unexciting one if you know anything about big city life in dirt poor areas.
Conclusion? Save the money. Go to this at the dollar movies or rent it. The top box office position belongs to much more worthy films. Of course this is just an opinion and nobody will listen to me, because he's "hot" and "it's about his life" so everyone thinks. But I tried.
Soldier of Fortune II: Double Helix (2002)
Gloriously Real
Having been into computer games and video games from the age of 6 (in the mid-80s, rat tail on my head and all) I can say yes they are getting more and more realistic. From the original graphic titles like King's Quest to the most modern pieces of industry the video games we play are evolving into their own world. Soldier of Fortune 2 is no exception.
First let's deal with the realism. From the sounds of the guns reloading to the physics of knifing a man's hand off (it's all possible, trust me) the game stays true to it's element. Violence isn't rewarded and unlike the extensive and painful animations done in Soldier of Fortune 1, this game views it as what it is, a death animation. Nothing elaborate, but done nicely just the same. Walking straight up to a man and looking at his face you can see light sources reflecting off of their eyes, stubble on their chins, and expressions on their faces. Not since Max Payne have I seen such wonderfully done skins on a character.
The voice work is top notch. My favorite voice work actor of all time (Cam Clarke) does a wonderful job here while leaving his typical sound. I didn't recognize the voice honestly, where I usually jump on it. Gone is Freddy Pharkas and Die Flauder Mouse. Mark Hamill makes a vocal appearance as well and pulls off the slightly uptight assistant director part he has well. Don't think Luke, think Mark. He's done a wonderful job in voice roles from Gabriel Knight to this.
Finally a personal view. This game is very realistic in it's portrayal of violence. You can shoot someone in the face and tear off the greater part of their head, then walk up and knife their chin off, which was conveniently left. This is not a title for kids in any sense of the word. I'm 19 and it's enough for me. So anyone out there looking for a review, hope this helps. 7 out of 10 stars. The story needs touching up.
Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002)
What was I expecting? Not this
Well I must admit I wanted Star Wars 2 (I don't type long names) to be action, love, and slight comedy the likes of which The Empire Strikes Back became. Several things disappoint.
Warning: There will be spoilers ahead.
First of all the trump card named Hayden Christensen. The kid has the face, has the attitude (mostly) and has the voice but that's the extent of it. From the first scene to the last I thought that I hadn't seen what George wanted truly. His inexperience, or maybe just the fact he's not a dark guy, ruined it. He was overly emotional about trivial stuff. He wasn't emotional enough about tragedy. And I'm not talking indifference. I feel that he was hired cause he made a decent "I'm evil inside" face occasionally. And decent was as good as even that got. I know people who would have played it better. Heck, I've personally done good guys with dark sides roles better than this kid. No biggie though.
We can overlook Anakin. But I refuse to overlook Star Wars long time gag C3PO. He was horribly cliche in this movie. His head is dragged on the ground by R2D2, he says "Well this is a drag" that's script writing at it's worst. George is losing his touch. But George isn't fully to blame.
I'm no scholar on the material but the digital effects left me less than awed this time. The Phantom Menace looked exquisite to me. Attack of the Clones left me wondering what was up with ILM. Take Obi Wan for example. In almost every scene he looks like a cardboard cut out plastered onto the scene. The other characters blend better though so it's ok. Mace Windu (Samuel L. Jackson) fits perfectly and is the only character other than Palpatine (not including Yoda, as he is a comp. generated one) that fits and makes you feel like Han is around the corner. The ships looked nice, the backgrounds were decent in Coruscant, and Naboo was very atmospheric. But the rest was just dribble. Wait til you see the plastic baby doll looking clones in the bottles...
The love story, the thing I drew my final hope from after the first 30-45 minutes. Well, what can I say? It wasn't love. It wasn't even flirting. It wasn't lust (which at a stretch I'd tolerate). It was just kind of there. Like for example Anakin falls off of some butt ugly excuse for an animal on Naboo, nearly gets trampled to death and lies there unmoving. Padme/Amidala (I can never figure this out) rushes over to his rescue and he rolls over laughing his head off. Did the monster crush his brain? Faking death isn't a way to win a woman's heart last time I checked. Nor is it even that funny. Chuckle possibly, but not hilarious, side-bursting laughter. Whatever.
I will note Jar Jar was good in this. The way he should always have been. Short, mostly silent, and stupid. The doors open on a few things such as Mace Windu's power, Bail Organa's importance, and Palpatine's influence. Too many questions were answered too fast (Boba's entire past and the Clone Wars fiasco is answered in about 2 minutes of time total). Too many questions were left unanswered. Obi Wan is hated by Anakin...immensely...I mean pure hatred flowing here. Then suddenly he's flying across the galaxy to save him cause he's like his father. What the heck? This was never answered or explained and I'm sure SW buffs will tell me to read the book or something similar but I want to be a movie fan, not a comic/book/toys/stamps/coke can/mouse pad fan. I like my stories well rounded and if a question is left unanswered it should appear in a later movie. This was something barely tapped on and it was about Anakin and Obi Wan's past so it will probably never get answered. Oh well. I'll still shell out my 8 bucks for Ep 3. Stupid addictions
Donnie Darko (2001)
One of the best ever
I saw Donnie Darko with mixed apprehensions about the completely unbelievable plotline I had heard of. A demonic bunny telling a kid what to do. Yeah. That sounds like a great flick. More like B rate trash.
But I was surprised in a wonderful way. Donnie Darko is one of the best movies I've ever seen, if not the best. It hits home on several points too, well, dark for movies like American Beauty. Even my favorite film, Fight Club, was geared more towards living a boring life than a depressing one like Donnie does. Yet it comes across as funny in some parts, tragic in others, and still remains very familiar to some of us. Especially a teenager who has seen his share of troubles. All in all the plot didn't drive me away and nothing should drive you away either. I'm not a fan of Drew Barrymore, Patrick Swayze, or Jake Gyll...you know who. But this film was wonderful in more ways than I can say. Go out and buy this movie now. It's an unsung classic that shouldn't be missed but should be seen many times over.
The Last of the Mohicans (1992)
I'm actually not totally pleased
Perhaps I should explain. I'm in the process of reading the entire Leatherstocking Tales by Cooper. 3 out of 5 finished so far. I'm rather impressed. The characters in this film are changed drastically from the story though. Hawkeye isn't boastful, he falls in love, and his entire reason for protecting these girls comes from the love. In the story it's because of the honor he sees in himself for doing such a deed. He left mankind, wasn't adopted by Chingachgook. Uncas didn't speak english clearly at all. The list goes on.
Now let me stop for a minute and say, yes, I love this movie. It's fantastic. I listen to the score from the climatic scene often. Lewis is fantastic as Hawkeye. Now why the ending was changed I don't quite follow. In the book (stop reading as this contains a spoiler) it was Cora and Uncas who died. And Cora and Uncas who have love. Alice lives and marries Duncan Heyward, who also lives. Hawkeye and Chingachgook have a VERY emotional scene over Uncas' grave. Magua dies a much more pleasing death in the book. And in general the 3 outsmart the Huron war party every step of the way. It focuses plenty on the tracking techniques and how to be stealthy when dealing with Indians. This movie is more of a hail to old western films, where out and out shooting is the primary way of ridding oneself of Injins.
So yeah, I have mixed emotions. I guess it comes from the fact I would love the movie a thousand times more if they had kept some of the scenes in the book that made me stop and just say "Wow" to myself over and over at how intelligent it was, even by today's standards. Uncas diverting a stream to find footprints that were all but buried is one that comes to mind. But as a film, go see it. Rent it, love it, buy it. It's that good. Just don't expect a novel adaptation that is accurate.
Black Hawk Down (2001)
A visual spectacle not to be missed
I must admit, I went into Black Hawk Down with more than a bit of trepidation. After all here on the incredibly useful IMDB Josh Hartnett is listed first. That means one of the key roles. That means the same guy who helped ruin Pearl Harbor is carrying a movie again.
Don't be turned away. I wasn't and I'm glad.
Hartnett does his finest work yet and outdoes many actors twice his age. As a sarge in Somalia of an elite Ranger group he comes of age in a horrible situation. Hartnett does a fine role, Ewan "Obi-Wan" McGregor does a fine job. In fact I must say pretty much every actor in this film did a wonderful job.
But that doesn't leave us without complaints (groans from the audience). Pipe down, it won't take long or be vicious.
First the tag line. "Leave no man behind." It's stressed a tad too much and it shines like a fire in the dark at the end. One man IS left behind and the movie only says he was released later. That's not leaving no man behind, that's twiddling your thumbs until they say so.
Tom Sizemore's character. Yeah he's cool. Yeah he's a badass. BUT...he's typecast and not only typecast, he's an almost direct copy of Robert Duvall's excellent Kilgore character from Apocalypse now. He would have been more useful out of the film or toned down a little. You leave thinking he's an actor or insane. Cause only someone in a fake situation or crazy can do what he does in certain scenes. Fake.
Now for plus sides. Sam Shepard. My goodness. This actor, this famous famous actor, takes on the worst military role in history. This is a good thing folks. Only a great actor can make you feel bad or supportive of a horrible leader. This man lets helicopters go unguarded, lets his men stay in hostile territory without equipment, etc. He does just about every FUBAR scenario he is offered and I found myself wanting to punch him. And that's a great feeling with actors.
Back to Hartnett. I can't help it. He is so young and he makes you truly believe he feels responsible for every man under his command. He even does the craziest stunt I've ever seen in a realistic movie to help his men out. I've tried to avoid giving away plot but you'll know it when you see it.
To wrap this review up don't trash McGregor and uh..that guy who plays Legolas in Lord of the Rings. I've momentarily forgotten his name. They have roles that couldn't possibly be long even though they are good actors. Keep in mind Black Hawk Down was filmed at the same time as Star Wars Ep 2 and Lord of the Rings (some of the post production stuff) so these guys couldn't hold a huge role. They knew Ridley Scott wouldn't disappoint and anything they could get they took. Good move fellas. Good move.
The Royal Tenenbaums (2001)
Anderson Flops
Perhaps it's just me...and my friends...and everyone I've talked to. Yet The Royal Tenenbaums is a royal pain in the rear to sit through. Being hailed as one of the greatest comedies and family geared movies ever it instead is bogged down by so many things. I'll touch on a few here to keep it simple.
1. Gene Hackman and Luke Wilson (as Royal and Richie respectively) are the only characters that get any development. The rest of the movie flops on it's face because we don't know anything about the characters. Some say that Baldwin as the narrator tells you all you need to know but instead I found myself half way into the movie finding out something about Margot that was a total shot in the dark, something not even the most clever of us could catch. Bad story telling there.
2. Gene Hackman's character in general. Now he was indeed the best character, but that isn't saying much. He cussed an inordinate amount of times, and this comes from a foul-mouthed teenager. Every other word is some form of swear. Secondly the things that he does that are supposed to be funny are more commonly everyday occurances. Maybe I'm just not old enough to appreciate this.
3. The director's style. It borders on painful. The color schemes are original, that's a given. But the drab reds and flashy pinks begin to wear on your eyes after a while. I walked out of this movie with a migraine and a bad temper, not my idea of entertainment.
In fact, personal opinion of course, there were only 2 truly genuine comedy scenes. I won't spoil it but naturally both deal with Gene Hackman. Now something that turned my stomach is during one very emotional climatic scene involving Richie in front of a mirror (those who have seen will understand) the entire audience save me and my 2 friends was cracking up laughing. This was sick and degrading and if it was intended as comedy then I want nothing to do with a movie theater ever again in my life. In fact, the laughter from the crowd made that scene the worst I've ever seen in my entire life. It absolutely ruined what was supposed to be an unrequited love moment.
1 out of 10 stars, horrible movie.
Vanilla Sky (2001)
A film you hate to love
I want to state clearly first of all that I am a fan of the darker side of film. Give me Se7en, Fight Club, A Clockwork Orange, Memento, and Vanilla Sky and I'll be happy forever.
With that said Vanilla Sky is the lightest movie I've ever seen.
Stay with me, it'll make sense in the end.
Tom Cruise has been fleshing out lately to test the waters of what he can achieve. Some are very good, such as Jerry Maguire, some are very bad, such as Eyes Wide Shut. Vanilla Sky breaks the mold as he steps far far away from anything he's ever done before. Throughout the movie his character, David Aames, feels differently about HIMSELF (a big change for male characters in movies). He goes from feeling his life is great, to how his life is worthless, to being a nutcase, to being a fake since he was born. The way Crowe directs leads all of these together in a confusing mass, but in a good way. The film is supposed to toss your brain around as much as David's.
I won't go into the story plot, too many people do that. What makes this a film you would hate to love is that it's getting such horrible reviews. It makes you almost ashamed to admit you even saw it. But what Crowe and Cruise (and Cruz come to think of it) are giving you in this film is a new era. This movie is not aimed at any specific group. I'd have to say if anyone it's aimed at teenagers who are sick of teeny bopper films and some generation X'ers. I remember watching Castaway and Lord of the Rings and seeing people stand and cheer either at the end or at impressive moments. I nearly applauded this film for it's fantastic direction and momentum. Castaway was too long and Lord of the Rings...well nothing from 2001 or 2002 will compare to it. But Vanilla Sky is a look at our society and especially the highly sexual male. It picks apart the things we all know and none of us want to say. Male's won't want to admit that David is a bad character for having one night stands even though we know it's true. Females won't want to look like rebellious types for saying he's a jerk when he's doing what all their male friends do anyway. It's a sad cycle that equals dismal ticket sales.
Do not be turned away though. If you want to see the best non-Lord of the Rings film for the next 12 months then go see Vanilla Sky. Do it now. You will not regret this if you're like me and hate teeny bopper films and see horrible holes in the plots of movies like Ali.
Ali (2001)
Time will tell...
Ali was made with all the right ingredients: a big name actor starring, a director of high quality directing, and supporting actors who delve into their characters. But what nobody seems to have noticed so far was the script was a mere 10 pages long (I'm being sarcastic but not by far). There was almost no talking that wasn't encouraging Ali to do this or Ali to do that. I went to hear Ali's big mouth and see his fists fly. I was disappointed in both but decided about 10 minutes into it if they were going to rip me off from my purpose I'd settle down and see what social impact this movie would leave on me.
I was more than a little disappointed. First of all the tale is of Ali in a couple of years of his prime and then the end of his flash and bang with the crowd. We see almost nothing of his childhood (one scene doesn't count in my opinion) and if you aren't an absolute Muhammed Ali buff then you won't know anything going in. For example, his father is around him most of the time and I had no idea until they fought over the name Muhammed Ali. That's not a good sign of a great movie. A great movie will stand the test of time by explaining things to you just enough to keep you focused. Instead I found myself running back to scenes in my mind because I didn't know who someone was.
Will Smith does a shining job as Ali, I will not deny this. But the lack of speaking parts for him deny the viewer any insight into what he was all about. The impact of the film is said to be when he is jogging in Africa. Well this is all well and good except there is no speaking or thinking aloud parts to this. I am too young to have ever seen Ali fight in person. It's a shame. But because of my youth I'm deprived of knowing him? I don't want to go out and read 10 books on a subject just so I understand a movie. This film was put together wonderfully for those who are a big fan of Ali's personal life and struggles. For someone going and thinking this will be another JFK, Nixon, or any films that give you insight into someone's life...well...return your ticket now.
This film, in short, will not stand the test of time. 30 years from now people will watch this movie and not understand anything going on, as I've done just 2 days ago. If you didn't live in that time frame you are exempt. In my opinion this fact is as bad as the discrimination shown briefly in the movie. I'm shut out for my age and lack of information. Bad movie. 3 out of 10 stars
Jeepers Creepers (2001)
Worst...Movie...Ever
Well unlike every other person on this planet me AND my friends all think this is one of the worst movies ever put to film. The dialogue ranges from "Uh huh" "Uh UH!" over and over to "Oh my God!" repeatedly. That's about the extent of it. You never find out what the creature is. You never learn what drives the monster, you learn NOTHING. Other than that as mentioned by the other reviewer the FX are pathetic. Bodies look a lot like plastic, and they try to blow this off by saying they are preserved. All in all a pretty sad and horrible movie. Too much comedy, not enough scares. If you like to jump (ala teenager) then go see it. If you want anything with a remote bit of quality avoid this like the black death. The ending, while slightly unexpected, wasn't anything to go screaming from the mountaintops. If you want to be surprised, see Seven. If you want a cheaply made movie that obviously tries hard to be a truly scary version of The Sixth Sense but never pulls it off in the slightest, see Jeepers Creepers. And YES the song is in there. It's sad...sad....sad.
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001)
Funny, smart, and well thought
After seeing this movie not even an hour ago I have to say it is easily the funniest film I've seen in years. Yes years. From the ongoing antics of the various characters from previous Smith films to the puns tossed at Matt Damon, Jason Biggs, Mark Hamill, and even the audience this film is chock full of goodness.
The only complaint I might even register, and I'm only doing so because you have to complain about something, would be the international jewel thieves mentioned. Sexy, sassy, and full of charm these babes will knock you off your feet. BUT...the whole robbery takes just a few minutes too long. That's it. Nothing else in this film is bad. It strays in a few areas from the central plot but the audience will find itself not caring as Jay and Silent Bob carry on the antics that have made them the icons they are. Kudos and hats off to Kevin Smith, a nicely done film with enough surprises and laughs to keep anyone but those with virgin ears coming back for more. I rarely rate a film so high, and almost never want to see one twice but I'll see this one again and undoubtedly buy it when it comes out on DVD.