ApplePiePerson Reviews

Bones: The Yanks in the U.K.: Parts 1 and 2 (2008) Season 4, Episode 1

Not really great to watch if you are British.

[22 September 2008]

The interesting character dynamic and strong plot lines were put on hold for this episode. Why? Because the characters go to ENgerland and see the posh dudes and butlers and drive on the wrong side. And the Brits are all so gay and retarded, they need Americans to wonder in and solve it all.

Apparently someone (Hart Hanson) thought it would be fun to turn Instructions for American Servicemen in Britain, 1942 into an episode of a detective show. I felt like looking outside for German bombers.

Gross stereotypes, poor jokes, tons of cultural mistakes and stupid illegalities. National Lampoons European Vacation without the funny bits. Why even bother? The show is usually so good but this - along with the end of Season 3 - makes me wonder what the heck is going on with this show. If Booth wandered around with a gun and FBI badge nowadays, he'd be shot on the tube like a Brazilian electrician.

Also, the writer's pitiful knowledge of European archaeology as well as basic British law and geography makes a mockery of the meticulous work of Kathy Reichs.

In short - if you want to look at cute totally old LOLZ British stuff, watch Inspector Morse.

From Beyond the Grave (1974)

The Best Amicus By Far!!!

[30 June 2005]

I throughly enjoyed this film when i saw it at Frightfest in London last May. I think it is the best of the Amicus portmanteaus by far and it is a shame that more people cannot see it.

The stories are all strong and feature an excellent cast (David Warner, Ian Ogilvie and Peter Cushing with a northern accent). The Ian Carmichael one is very comic thanks to magnificent Madame Orloff - it is is like "Jerry and Margot from the Good Life meet a nasty spirit" or something. The others are genuinely chilling and there is an especially nice twist in the story featuring Ian Bannen and the scary scary Angela Pleasance.

Recommended to anyone with a love of classic horror.

Closer (I) (2004)

Overrated

[21 June 2005]

I was looking forward to this film and found it to be nothing more than self-important guff. And very very dull indeed. So disappointed.

Plot was non-existent. Characters were not only unsympathetic - they had little or no personality whatsover. Direction was ponderous and slow in a way that was obviously supposed to be 'a bit like a French art house movie like what Kieslowski used to do' yet without the good bits of Kieslowski like engaging characters and whimsy. The sets all had this Elle Homes and gardens look of stale and mediocre tastefulness. And the music was either forgettable or Damien Rice moaning like a wet ex-boyfriend from hell drunkenly singing and sobbing at 4am "why did my girlfwiend leeeeve meeeeee".

And the dialogue - not profound but w*nky. W*nky middle-class navel gazing maxims mostly: "Telling the truth is what separates us from the animals." Yeah, those animals are always making fibs up, aren't they? I seem to recall it was a mongoose who wrote The Aeneid. Utter tosh!!!

Julia Roberts was the most dull boring self-absorbed woman in the world and we were supposed to believe she attracted these men into falling deliriously in love with her. She looked constipated all the time too. Natalie Portman was equally one dimensional and shallow - she was 'wacky' though cos she had dyed red hair and wore a skanky Boho Sienna miller coat. She had more potential but even so was given nothing to work with. But she cried once or twice and stripped so therefore she is a 'character'. I see.

Jude Law was even more dull and drippy than usual. Clive Owen was the only one who came across as being an actual person but even so, was forced to say the most trite lines, it nearly made me do a little bit of sick. Without him, the film would have been utter torture.

One funny scene about chatroom sex and Portman and Owen had some potential but other than that, i was just bored and indifferent to the 'relationship issues'. All deadly serious too. The language and 'smut' content was not shocking or compelling to me at all. So it didn't bother me that all the characters spoke in graphic ways. I object more to the sheer dullness and pretentiousness of the entire thing.

Pish!!! Avoid!!!!

Catterick (2004– )

Much under-seen and under rated.

[7 January 2005]

I saw Catterick when it was first on BBC3 and was indifferent to it. But i saw it again and it's a real grower. More in the style of BANG BANG Its Reeves & Mortimer and the 1-off bizarre show, The Weekenders - Catterick is original and funny and well worth a second look. And this is in total opposition to the woefully bad All Star Comedy Show. Vic & Bob are back on form. Ture that Bob is not allowed to be funny enough and should be less of the straight man. Even so - that's minor. The show is an acquired taste granted but even so, the BBC are utter @rses for not showing this on terrestrial TV yet. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR YOU LOONS!!! SHOW THIS NOW!!!! They might as well have buried it in the Blue Peter Garden.

The show also boasts fantastic performances from Matt Lucas, Morwenna Banks, Mark Benton, Reece Shearsmith and the wonderful Tim Healy ("nah, no need man, no need it's just a matter of keeping her waaarmm"). As well as great cameos from Julie T Wallace, Charlie Higson and Mark Gattiss. And i really love the Dennis Potter-style use of music from Chris Rea to the Smiths to Crystal Gayle.

This show has keep me in quotes for a while now - stuff like "your tickling my turnips intcha?", Tess's icy box, dogs that sh*t fruitcake and Bilberry Polar crush all make me laugh. Pity more people can't see it. I cannot look at a George Clooney poster now without smirking.

The All Star Comedy Show (2004 TV Movie)

As Vic himself would have said in his Novelty Island days: Very Poor!

[26 July 2004]

This show had so many funny and capable performers yet this is not enough to save any show with no decent ideas, writing or sadly, any laughs at all. It was a complete waste of talent, resources and money. How it got commissioned on such feeble material is a mystery. It s a prime example of how sometimes TV executives overlook basic essentials of content because they are dazzled by an overall weak idea. If the material was better, it would have been marvelous. i would have loved to have seen classic performers like Ronnie Corbett and Richard Wilson appear with younger talent like Steve Coogan, Matt Lucas and Ronni Ancona. But an idea alone does not constitute a programme - least of all when it is messily executed and severely lacking in jokes.

All involved should be ashamed of this 'look, we are all best mates and funny as well' lazy half-arsed excuse for a comedy show. NOW GO TO YOUR ROOM AND MAKE US SOME GOOD SHOWS, YOU MUPPETS!!!

The League of Gentlemen (1999–2017)

local series for local people

[3 June 2004]

If you haven't encountered the League of gentlemen before *whats wrong with you*?? In short, its like what would happen if Kids in the Hall performed Twin Peaks playing all the characters (Mark as Log Lady or Bruce as Nadine the eye patch lady). And all this set in the moorland backwaters of Northern England much beloved by previous writers like James Herriot or The Brontes. The show has also been described as Twin Peaks-Mervyn Peake-Peak Practise which is also apt. You don't have to come from Northern England (like me) to 'get it' - most jokes are universal to those with similar senses of humour.

Anyway - the story is as follows. the League are Mark Gatiss, Steve Pemberton, Reece Shearsmith and Jeremy Dyson (writer who does not perform). The show started out at Edinburgh fringe (where it won the Perrier award), then BBC Radio 4 and then on to BBC TV. The 3 series so far follow the lives of various residents of Royston Vasey, the town you will never leave. All characters (male and female) are performed by Gatiss/Shearsmith/Pemberton.

this is an amazing feat and shows the versatility and talent of each performer.

Characters include a homicidal snub-nosed couple who run a local shop, a bigoted vicar, a lesbian ex-con once proud restart officer and an inept vet with strong shades of that Herriot creation Tristan Farnham amongst others. Papa Lazarou is one of the most enduring creations - he is like a bizarre hybrid of a black & white minstrel, Jerry Sadowitz, Pennywise from IT and a white-slave-trader. The show is also a must for any fan of horror and cult movies as the references to classics like "The Wicker Man", "Don't Look Now", "the Jungle Book", "The Railway Children" and more humble fare like 80s kids show "Pipkins" will keep film fans eager and happy for a long time. Above all its very funny and very clever - from visual jokes (animal face painting and draining the swede being favourites) to subtle in-depth homage (the portmanteau style of Xmas special echoes Amicus classics like "Asylum")

Series one and two followed a similar pattern whilst the Gents departed with form and took a brave step with series 3 making some dramatic changes. The Xmas special was perhaps key in this change also. Gone were some old favourite characters and new ones were introduced. Episode formula was less sketch driven and story lines were longer. And also a new theme tune was introduced with shades of "Scheulmadchen report" with it grooviness. But some 'fans' hated the changes (dullards) because they broke with the norm and indicated a bold change in direction. I personally **love** the new changes(like a lot of fans) and think that Series 3 contains some of the best work done so far. Thank god they got rid of the laughter track!!!!! Kudos to the guys for not being formulaic and always challenging expectations and actually *thinking* about what to bring along next. The work is thus fresh, complex and keeps you on your toes. Hooray to that as there is nowt as bad as stale comedy.

NOW BRING ON THE FILM!!!!!