youngcollind Reviews

Falling for Christmas (2022)

Taking Christmas Overboard

[3/10 · 30 December 2022]

I assume many of us are prone to quasi masochistically throwing on some hallmark crap around the holidays. This year, the allure of a Lindsay Lohan comeback made this stick out from the trash heap. It's hard to criticize as the flaws are baked into the genre. If you couldn't predict this would be predictable, your powers of prediction aren't what you think they are.

Still, you can't help but poke fun at the expected clichés, like how quickly the love interest sticks out for being far too perfectly coiffed for a small town nobody. I also had to snicker when I learned the actor's real life name is Chord Overstreet. I know making fun of someone's name is very high school bully of me, but he's out there making Lindsay Lohan movies, while I'm stuck here watching them, so who's the real loser?

If I can commend anything, the set decoration was elaborate. The background of every scene is so stuffed to the brim with Yuletide trinkets it's like they let a team of the most aggressively festive grandmas go to town spewing Christmas in every direction.

So grab some eggnog and your significant other and get weirdly wrapped up in a debate over how much plastic surgery Lindsay Lohan has had, 'tis the season.

Christmas Bloody Christmas (2022)

Terminator Santa with Giallo lighting interrupts a bad date movie

[6/10 · 29 December 2022]

Though it was probably ill advised, I did a killer Santa double feature with this and Santa's Slay. In contrast, that had much more of a Hollywood sheen, almost Elf with a homicidal Saint Nick, where Christmas Bloody Christmas was all indie charm. Winning points out the gate for a badass score that mixes retro synth and stoner doom, and continuing with cool late night metal bar vibes. I'll admit the date that takes up the first leg overstays it's welcome, and I don't know why they felt compelled to mix so much quasi High Fidelity banter into such a low brow bloodbath. I'll give 'em points for bringing up Soundgarden, but immediately revoke them for insinuating that even the most hardened elitist would thumb their nose at Superunknown. That album's their masterpiece, not their sellout record, it's popular cause it's brilliant, dammit. But I digress. With a little patience, you'll make it to the screaming violent rampage you were promised. The gore effects may not always be the most realistic, but they're usually practical and tactile and I like that. They overuse the 'ol "he's dead, or is he?" but considering the allegiance to Terminator, it's pretty on par for the course.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention the lighting, which draws attention to itself like Jim Carrey at a Christmas party. It might be a cheap gimmick, but I love it and think it elevates the film. I get it, it's just coloured dollar store lights, but the way they tint literally every scene gives the whole thing a surreal quality akin to the comic book stylization of something like Sin City. Dario Argento is often credited for his artistic eye for employing similar tactics, why shouldn't we extend the same respect to Joe Begos and his black light mini golf White Zombie aesthetic?

Santa's Slay (2005)

Ho Ho Oh No!

[5/10 · 28 December 2022]

Spinning the wheel on killer Santa flicks and landed on this one. To be honest, I'm not even sure if I'd seen it already as they all sorta bleed together. Something about the Santa actor seemed familiar, but nothing about the plot rang any bells. It might have been on in the background at a party sometime, which is exactly what this movie's good for. It's easy to see what's happening regardless of how little you're paying attention, but there's an enthusiastic energy to it that encourages good vibes with with the right company.

For as b grade as any Christmas horror is bound to be, this certainly tried harder and seemed higher budget than I expected. There was way less Fran Drescher than I was hoping for, but she at least delivers a trademark squeal. It's just shy of ironic, while not quite the meta satire of something like Rubber, it still knows it's place and leans into the silliness of the premise any chance it gets. It has one of the most aggressive stereotypes of a Jewish man I think I've seen, and I can't quite tell if it's offensive. Occasionally it drifts a little too far into a throw away b plot, but you're only ever a scene away from another jolly rampage. The violence is a bit PG 13, and nothing gets especially gory, so it might be the most family friendly x-mas slaughter on the market.

Manchester by the Sea (2016)

Oh, so not that Manchester, gotcha...

[8/10 · 27 December 2022]

This isn't usually my favourite kind of movie. I'll often derisively refer to the genre as "a serious look at some sad guy's life". Examples are plentiful and they usually sweep awards season, but I'm not prone to getting overly enthusiastic just because someone dreamed up a miserable situation and presented it through drab realism. But it's been a rough week, and a melancholy flick felt like what the doctor ordered. There are differing perspectives on matching mood to art. I know that when my wife is bummed, she'll reach for an escapist comedy to swing the vibe in the opposite direction, where I'm more inclined to lean into it and put on the most depressing album I have. I think I understand her logic more than my own, as I'm not even sure how helpful reflecting emotions through media actually is. At the very least, it's escapism, allowing yourself to get wrapped up in someone else's problems to forget about your own for a minute. At best, it can offer some perspective, as Casey Affleck's situation was far worse than anything I've ever had to go through.

Good stretches of the film certainly rub your nose in the humdrum day to day of some relatively average characters. It treads close to getting boring before some jarring flashbacks shake up the narrative. At first, they're a bit confusing, but force your attention until you can figure out the timeline. Things come together pretty quickly before you're treated to a wallop of a reveal. The central tragedy hits like a truck and just had me dumbfoundedly making a sour face for several minutes. If that's what counts as pay off in this kind of drama, they certainly had a zinger up their sleeve that's absolutely heartbreaking while unfortunately completely plausible. The reactions are equally true to life, with Affleck projecting a broken despondency through minimal emotional displays. It felt like how I picture myself reacting to something equally heavy, making it easy to relate to and feel for the character.

If you need something to lift your spirits, maybe steer clear of this, but if you want a glum film in your life for one reason or another, Manchester by the Sea may just mope it's way into your heart.

Till Death (I) (2021)

Minimal story and slick production deliver textbook suspense

[6/10 · 26 December 2022]

It's a pretty down the middle thriller. The premise may be a bit hard to swallow, one part Gerald's Game, one part Home Alone/Die Hard, but with a little willing suspension of disbelief, it can be a pretty fun ride. It's laser focused on the singular situation, so you gotta just go with it and get wrapped up in a whole bunch of "oh no, how is she gonna get out of this one?" Megan Fox treats the circumstances to one long eye roll, acting like someone with the worst case of the Mondays who's just not having any of it. A lot has been said about her inability to be cast as anything but a sexpot, but I mean, look at her. Nobody ever cast Danny DeVito as a heartthrob or the Rock as an underdog, you've got to work with what you've got. The role makes sense for her looks without feeling the need to constantly draw your attention to them and she's believable in all her exasperation. You probably know what you're in for if you've seen the trailer or cover even, just a simple popcorn flick that gets the job done without overstepping it's bounds.

MacGruber (2010)

Literally the final nail in the coffin for SNL movies, since it's been over a decade since the show took a swing at the silver screen.

[6/10 · 23 December 2022]

The premise barely qualifies as an idea, even for a sketch. It's called MacGruber, which sounds like MacGyver, cause it's a MacGyver parody. Brilliant. I never did watch the original since I was told it was for Patty and Selma, and I identified more with Bart at the time, so maybe some jokes went over my head. I came to this more with an appreciation for Will Forte, which is probably a good place to base your expectations. For better or worse, a lot of the humour is reminiscent of his other brain child, Last Man on Earth, in that the punchline is often that his character sucks and is annoying everyone around him, which is at times funny, but can get just plain annoying. He gets a bit upstaged by co-star Kristen Wiig who probably got bigger laughs out of me than anyone, appearing here just a year before her Bridesmaids breakout.

The movie is at it's best when delivering straight faced parodies of 80s action clichés, but fumbles a bit when it descends into crass american humour. A prime example would be a reoccurring sex scene gag. It starts out as a fantastic tribute to the obligatory intimate scene in every Van Damme flick. The lighting, the tight closeups, the music, everything is perfectly corny, then there's a hard cut to Forte making obnoxious sex noises and it just sinks the joke.

Overall, it could have been worse, it's just a simple, light hearted, easy watch. I guess I'll check out the show now, though I'm not expecting much.

Bad Boy Bubby (1993)

Daringly bizarre. Even once you've embraced the disturbing themes and surreal delivery, it continues to take turns towards the unexpected.

[7/10 · 21 December 2022]

The first movement is pure depravity. Exploring a worst case scenario child rearing situation similar to Room, only through a much more grotesque lens. The stark score coupled with depictions of incest and real dead animals had me squirming. It's a hard watch, but captivating all the same.

Then somehow it morphs into a dopey indie comedy which isn't quite as strong. It has some Crocodile Dundee style fish out of water gags, but probably a more apt comparison would be some kind of R rated Forest Gump. The gimmick where he can only repeat what people say feels a bit lazy and redundant, and the sophomoric sexuality often pushes the boundaries of good taste. There's a segment with disabled actors and I'm honestly not sure if it's inclusive or offensive, and would be genuinely curious how someone closer to that community felt about it. One community I can speak for is noise rock musicians, and I was totally digging his band, which whether intentional or not, was a perfect parody of Nick Cave's whole shtick.

It's a bit of a run on sentence, and just keeps going despite there being several times where it probably should have landed the plane. Nevertheless, it's knack for grimy, button pushing insanity is in a league of it's own, so while it may not be perfect, it's sure to have a lasting impression.

Last Night in Soho (2021)

Glossy love letter to the 60s puts a welcome twist on familiar themes

[8/10 · 16 December 2022]

I wasn't sure what to expect going in, so it was a pretty wild ride figuring out where the film was headed early on. It's hyper stylized, and I'm a sucker for all those pretty colours. Whether it's a nod to vintage giallo, or just Edgar Wright flexing his muscles, it's certainly a visual treat. The film peaks when the disorienting insanity is at it's zenith and the audience is in the dark on where the lines between reality and fantasy truly lie.

Then things fall into place and some more conventional horror elements rise to the surface, putting a pin in the surrealist balloon. Some of the effects here are a bit corny, and though this doesn't derail things altogether, it does put it into more well charted territory. They swing extra hard for the action packed finale, going full Scooby Doo when the villain spells out the diabolical plan just before the final showdown. I feel like this is where it lost some people, but given the glitz and glamour of the first leg, going for a big Hollywood finish wasn't totally out of character. I don't believe there was ever any pretense that this was some hard nosed high art, it's just pure spectacle and damn if I wasn't entertained.

Glorious (2022)

Low stakes indie flick makes good on a wacky idea

[6/10 · 15 December 2022]

The premise alone should let you know if this is for you. Are you the kind of person would be amused by a Lovecraftian monster in a rest stop glory hole? Does that appeal to your sensibility?

While clearly low brow, it doesn't cross the line into gross out territory as much as it could have, and stays as classy as a movie that takes place entirely in a bathroom possibly could. While there's little that's expressly funny or scary, there's an intrigue to the somewhat novel concept, keeping you interested in how it will all play out. I'll admit that a good deal of the novelty comes from an appreciation for J. K. Simmons, that dude rules, and even though he's never on screen, I can picture him delivering the lines, and that makes me smile a bit.

Its feel is reminiscent of a horror short made for a show like Cabinet of Curiosities or Tales From the Crypt, and with it's lean runtime, it's not too far off from one of those. It's eye on the prize simplicity delivers the goods before it wears out it's welcome, giving you just what you came for, nothing more, nothing less.

Girls Just Want to Have Fun (1985)

Why is it that pop culture feels the need to periodically remind me who does or does not put Baby in a corner, but never bothers to mention this gem?

[5/10 · 14 December 2022]

For the most part, it's a pretty run of the mill teen movie, and the novelty of the famous leads that you're used to seeing slightly older wears off fast. The suspense of what Helen Hunt will be wearing next should be enough to string you along till the end, but there's probably only a handful of worthwhile scenes that approach the splendor of earnest 80s camp that I was hoping for.

Probably the biggest crime against humanity is that for some baffling reason, they didn't have the rights to the original Cyndi Lauper track, so you have to settle for a sub-par cover that rears it's head throughout the film. Just why? Was Cyndi too cool for the 80s dance movie craze? Could they not have attached the film to a song they could afford? It's not like the title really has anything to do with the plot, I'm sure "Dancing With Myself" or "Safety Dance" or "I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me)" would have all made sufficient title's if the rights were secured. Truly one of the great mysteries of history.

Barbarian (2022)

Maybe not as mind blowing as it's reputation might suggest, but still a fun mix of gross and creepy

[8/10 · 14 December 2022]

It's best quality is how it weaves it's tale. Not laying things on the table too soon, the first half keeps you guessing as to where it's all headed, effectively stretching out the time it takes to reach the inevitable monster chase scenes. It's a clever bit of misdirection that the whole Bill Skarsgård, Airbnb plot that takes up the trailer and early portion of the film is essentially a red herring for the scary lady in the basement stuff that permeates the climax.

Once we get down to business, the creature in question is a bit goofy, and I'm not sure how gnarly naked people became such a popular horror theme this year. It's a bit silly that they attempted to explain her super human strength as the result of inbreeding, cause I don't think that's how that works. While the campiness does dilute it from being genuinely unsettling, it's at least approached with a sense of humour, I mean, think it is, unless I'm just so desensitized that I found it all a bit funny when I wasn't supposed to.

It touches on how men and women approach matters of personal safety differently, as well as drawing attention to the situation in Detroit (I've driven through there, it actually is like that). These themes are neatly tucked into the plot though, so they're there if you look for 'em, but you could easily just choose to focus on the surface level spooks, which is exactly how subtext is supposed to work.

It's a simple little chiller that's not without it's charms, and though there are plenty of other movies that I've enjoyed similarly that aren't getting a fraction of the attention that this is, you can't hate on it just for being popular.

Men (2022)

Takes an impressive bite, but I'm not sure how much it chews

[7/10 · 12 December 2022]

Depending on where you sit, this is the culmination of everything wrong, or right, with modern "elevated" horror. We've now reached the boiling point where the allegory outweighs the plot, coming at you more as a riddle to decode than a story to get lost in. Men aims to balance several ambitions, each to varying degrees of success.

First, there's the surface level horror narrative. Taken at face value, it's merely a pedestrian home invasion story that ends with a perplexing climax. While many films are able to bury meaning within a concrete story, Men forces it's subtext to the surface. Without the metaphors, the film falls apart.

The messaging seems to be split between two themes. The main focus is the trauma surrounding a suicide. This drives the tension of the film, and provides an opportunity for some of the strongest performances. Seeing the final movement as a physical manifestation of this grief is probably the best lens to make sense of things.

Then there's the feminist allegory that catalogues male microaggressions through Rory Kinnear's tapestry of characters. Going in, I was assuming this would be the crux of the film, but it comes across a little under cooked. While a village full of similarly faced men who exhibit varying degrees of toxic masculinity had the potential to be overly on the nose, they merely dip their toes into the concept without going far enough for any truly satisfying revelations.

I struggle to make the connection between the isolated situation with Harper's husband and the macro indictment on masculinity. I know saying "not all men" has become a faux pas, but I swear, "not all men" commit suicide when you break up with them. If this is intended as just another example of male toxicity, it seems a little too extreme to be universally relatable. If it's intended to be just a trauma, isolated from the other incidents, then it eats up too much screen time and dilutes the commentary alluded to by the title.

Ultimately, it's technically well crafted, and I'll always champion something this ambitious and weird. However, for a film so openly about it's own symbolism, it feels like it stretches itself too thin to arrive at anything genuinely impactful.

Deadstream (2022)

Simple and predictable, but eager to do the most within it's modest means

[5/10 · 8 December 2022]

The concept of a found footage haunted house flick isn't exactly groundbreaking, but Deadstream doesn't really seem all too bothered by that. It dives headfirst into well charted territory, openly paying homage to Evil Dead and Blair Witch.

Joseph Winter's performance is nothing if not enthusiastic as he ham's it up at every opportunity. Though this can verge on obnoxious, you've gotta give it to him for carrying pretty much the whole film on what's essentially a long monologue.

Otherwise, you know the drill. The character's decisions are often stupid, and once things ramp up, you know exactly where it's headed. The scare sequences do get a bit repetitive, but you still can't fault the energy. It's an all in indie flick that's flailing around enough to get your attention, even though it doesn't have much of substance to really put on the table.

Crimes of the Future (2022)

Squirm inducing and thought provoking, the master picks up where he left off

[9/10 · 7 December 2022]

If I were locked in a room, endlessly pitching movie ideas, it would probably take a billion years before I arrived at "surgical performance artists contemplate live autopsy". Such is the treasure that is David Cronenberg's mind. For every outsider artist who's been stifled by the Hollywood corporate machine, it's a marvel that someone like him slipped through the cracks and managed to find the funding to bring to life such gloriously bizarre ideas.

For many artists the "return to form" isn't always a career highlight, however Cronenberg comfortably slips back into his old skin. A cascade of low and high brow sensibilities, catching your interest with gross out body horror before gaining your respect through a dense plot with layers of allegorical truth. Whether it's commenting on artistic expression, body modification, technology in medicine or body autonomy, it certainly warrants a good discussion post viewing.

The sets and props are unmistakably on brand, drawing from the same aesthetic pallet as a 90s Tool video, there's a depressed grime to every shot. It sees him reprise a fixation on bio-technology, with some crazy contraptions that will live on in my mind for some time to come.

It's a welcome return of the king, and whether or not it's his swan song, it was well worth the wait.

Skull: The Mask (2020)

Ooh...Somebody, stop me!

[6/10 · 6 December 2022]

You think you know what you're getting into when you throw on a movie called Skull: The Mask, and for the most part, you'd be right, as there are ample servings of the monster slasher gore promised by the cover. However, between the carnage, it takes on a more relaxed pace than you might expect, with a lot of time spent on mythology and police politics. Frankly, it's a little more convoluted than need be for the film's modest aspirations, but I guess it's nice that they at least try to carve a plot around the senseless killing rampage.

Once it gets down to brass tacks, it delivers on everything you could hope for. They bring to life some pretty sick ideas through gloriously gooey practical effects, the titular creature looks pretty badass and they even get a little arty with some psychedelic interludes and a pretty rad stained glass fight sequence. It's nothing you haven't seen before, so there are few surprises, but it's a half decent bloody b-movie if that's all you ask for.

Moebius (2013)

Full on WTF

[8/10 · 4 December 2022]

I'm no English major, but I know Shakespeare was revered for many great tragedies. For some reason, I don't see that genre get thrown around much these days, even though there's plenty that would fit the bill. Perhaps, now the dreaded "torture porn" tag looms around many deep dives into human suffering, blurring the lines between art and trash.

To call Moebius tragic would be an understatement. It's one of the most genuinely disturbing movies I've seen in some time, eliciting a physical reaction and causing me to turn away from the screen on numerous occasions. It's the most uncomfortable mix of sexuality and depravity I've seen since David Cronenberg's Crash.

I could categorize this kind of unsettling movie into two camps. First, there's over the top stuff like The Sadness or Terrifier which are easy to dissociate from reality, while more realistic stuff like The Snowtown Murders or Hounds of Love can get under your skin a little more. Moebius sits somewhere in the middle. Though there aren't any impossible monsters, the subject matter is just so insanely miserable that you can't help but nervously laugh occasionally.

The filmmaking is a little crude, but ultimately well done, with great performances and a strong soundtrack. It certainly took some ingenuity to dream up the specifics of the horrible circumstances, and I'll give full kudos for the audacity it took to execute a whole film free of dialogue. That interesting creative choice amplifies the emotional impact while diluting the potential for silliness in some of the themes.

It made me want to dig deeper into writer/director Kim Ki-duk's catalogue, though it was disappointing to learn that both he and the lead actor Jae-Hyon Cho have sexual assault charges against them. However, Ki-duk is dead now, so I guess watching his other movies doesn't really support him. Does it? I honestly don't really know how that works anymore.

Fateful Findings (2013)

Team Breen

[10/10 · 1 December 2022]

Move over Hitchcock, the greatest piece of nail biting, edge of your seat suspense ever put to screen is Neil Breen holding coffee over his laptop. I could care less how fast that bus goes, or who's head is in that box, the dramatic tension in that shaky cup should be studied by film scholars for years to come.

I'd say it was one of a kind if it wasn't for the fact that Breen pumped out four other masterpieces, with a baby on the way. I'm trying to make my way through the complete set, which is tough because I keep getting sucked back into this gem. It's a shame he doesn't get the same recognition as Tommy Wiseau, since it's honestly a toss up whether this or The Room is the finest piece of cinema ever made. I may flip flop from time to time, but since I've now seen this more recently, it can temporarily hold the crown.

Pandorum (2009)

Space madness is no excuse for space rudeness

[7/10 · 30 November 2022]

It's kind of a best case scenario b-movie, but I can see why critics at the time weren't dazzled by the low rent sci-fi and mess of schlocky monsters. It's an all in approach that's a far cry from subtlety, yet it's anything but boring.

It effectively holds your interest, feeding you details on the convoluted situation through little snippets that keep you guessing until the end. They swing wide with the wild plot, and while all the dots eventually do connect, it definitely takes a stretch in logic to stay on board. The action sequences are a bit lowbrow, but they keep things moving at a relentless pace that never lets up.

Shades of the film are reminiscent of The Descent, despite being in wildly different settings. Though I was more critical of that movie's more over the top elements, and felt it could have benefited from a little restraint, Pandorum is just such a gleeful celebration of it's own excess that I wouldn't have it any other way.

Metal Lords (2022)

I kinda feel like a curmudgeon for ragging on this, but it just wasn't very good.

[4/10 · 25 November 2022]

This coulda been an easy win. I like metal as much as the next guy, so it shouldn't take much more than working Judas Priest's Painkiller into a scene to get me on board. I was hoping for the simple charms of something like School of Rock, but unfortunately they dropped the ball at every turn.

For starters, the central character is so dislikeable, he's hard to root for. They're going for a flawed but redeemable, Sheldon Cooper meets Bart Simpson sort of thing, but they bungle the tightrope walk and he comes across like such a jerk, you kinda want to see him fail.

It feels a bit mean to pick on the stiff performances, since the cast seems to be made up of actual teenagers. I'm not saying I coulda done any better at their age, but I've definitely seen adolescent actors come across more believable than this.

The plot bumps through several unnecessary detours within it's simple battle of the bands formula. You've got to squint to even see the attempts at humour. It almost has the feel of a straight to Disney kids movie, but there's far too much gratuitous swearing to even pass for that. They also hit many of my pet peeves in terms of unrealistic depictions of musicians (high schoolers who write sheet music, bands who can play without practicing), but so does every movie ever, so I guess I'll let that one go.

Probably the best moment was a scene featuring cameos from metal gods Kirk Hammett, Scott Ian, Rob Halford and Tom Morello. Since Morello was involved in the film, I'm guessing he called in the favours. One can only imagine what a dream Rolodex that dude has.

The Bad Batch (2016)

I dug it, but it's gonna lose a lot of people with its abrupt tonal shift

[8/10 · 24 November 2022]

Starting out in a lawless wasteland with an attention grabbing opening that goes full cannibalism, getting you thinking "Oh, we've got Mad Max x Hills Have Eyes? Shameless action with a little gore? Giddy-up!" But then Jodorowsky walks in the room and pulls the breaks on the whole endeavour. It's almost as if they just suddenly got distracted from making an action flick and opted to do drugs in the desert instead.

It kinda reminds me of the aesthetic of some self indulgent stoner rock band. It comes in rockin', but then just plays the same riff but slower, before slowly devolving into this psychedelic jam session, which may not be your favourite part, but by that point you just respect the journey.

Detention (2019)

Historically informative haunting flick based on a video game

[7/10 · 22 November 2022]

It seems to be a relatively low budget affair, which is evident in the visual style, with a couple misfires in the special effects. It's littered with ghost movie tropes and frequently approaches a melodrama that's campier than was likely the intention. Nevertheless, it manages to hold itself together through the sheer intrigue of the story it has to tell.

Since very little takes place in a tangible "reality", it takes on a surrealistic quality, and much of the on screen terror is more symbolic than literal. Not to say it's a fully abstract affair, it just holds your interest by weaving it's plot through non-linear breadcrumbs.

It belongs to the small sub-genre that wraps horror themes around real world tragedies, which seems to be a win for me every time. At this point, I'm pretty much exclusively learning about various geopolitical atrocities through horror movies, and would otherwise have been unaware of the Taiwanese White Terror situation. Carry on educational horror, I thank you for your service.

While there may be shortcomings in the filmmaking, the core story is great. Imagine my surprise when I found out the source material was actually a video game. Guess I need to give movies based on games more credit, because I did not see that coming!

Moonfall (2022)

Sets the bar low then somehow manages to miss the mark

[4/10 · 17 November 2022]

Based around a premise that sounds like it was conceived by a 6 year old who asks too many questions ("Daddy, what if the moon fell?") it should come as no surprise that this thing is pretty silly. It was openly marketed as big dumb disaster flick, so criticism on thin science, unbelievably narrow escapes and corny dialogue aren't really warranted, they're part of the package. The problem is, even though you've braced yourself for the stupidity of a falling moon, they went and upped the ante by introducing an extra terrestrial facet that's far more convoluted, and effectively even stupider. Since the only reason anyone's gonna tune in is for a brain off popcorn flick, you've gotta "keep it simple stupid" or you've betrayed your own intentions. What we're left with is two hours of face palms, head scratches and going "that's really where they went with this?"

Thunder Road (2018)

Stop sleeping on this because it looks like some crappy Super Troopers clone

[9/10 · 15 November 2022]

Maybe I watched them in the wrong order, because even though I enjoyed The Wolf of Snow Hollow well enough, it seems that this is the true Jim Cummings masterpiece. Though a similarly sad divorced cop sits at the center of both, Thunder Road zeroes in on the uncomfortable drama and allows Jim's amazing performance abilities to shine through. It tackles cringe humour without resorting to mockery, maintaining the humanity in a character who routinely falls on their face. The commitment to sincerity only amplifies the comedy, and I found myself genuinely laughing at a couple points, but also felt more choked up by the ending than I've been in years.

Jim Cummings is a DIY hero, impressively handling almost every element of the production. Maybe his composition skills fall a bit behind, but everything else is top notch, especially on such a limited budget. I'm surprised he hasn't been swallowed up by the mainstream by now, I could even see this character stretching over a whole series. Not sure where the road will take him next, but I'm interested to find out.

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (2022)

Nic Cage smooches good

[7/10 · 10 November 2022]

Since Nicolas Cage's more recent work has become increasingly self aware, it wasn't all that surprising to hear that he would be parodying himself in his new movie. Add to that the tongue in cheek title and I was sold before even seeing a trailer. While nothing in the film surpasses it's clever concept, it's still a fun time and a fitting tribute to the b-movie king.

It rightfully leans into it's satirical premise, allowing Cage to nod towards his greatest hits and making general commentary on the art of filmmaking. This plays for light laughs, if nothing side splitting, and is at it's best when focusing on the endearing bromance with Pedro Pascal. Then in a move similar to Adaptation, Cage's other meta endeavour, it addresses the pitfalls of generic blockbusters, right before devolving into a series of action movie clichés. This could be read as intentionally self deprecating or lazy film making, but either way it's amusing even if it is a little uninspired.

If you worship at the alter of Cage, the mere existence of this movie should be more than enough to whet your appetite. It delivers on the simple promise of Nic Cage as Nic Cage, and if that doesn't bring you a little joy, I'm not sure what will.

Nothing Bad Can Happen (2013)

It can, and it does...

[7/10 · 8 November 2022]

Going into movies as blind as possible, I often stumble on more misery than I bargain for. Since I had just seen The Snowtown Murders, I probably should have waited a bit longer on this movie. Given how similar they both are in tone and content, if you hated one, you should avoid the other, but if you liked one, definitely check out the other, just give it some breathing room for your own mental health.

Other films I'd put in this camp would be Hounds of Love and to lesser extent The Girl Next Door, though the later has more of a Hollywood sheen to the parts that don't wallow in depravity. The rest opt for a grimy realism that sinks you deeper into the filth of their content.

I often struggle with the merits of this genre though. On one hand, it is an achievement artistically. Between the acting and the authentic way everything is captured, they nail it. I'm fully immersed, I believe what's happening on screen, and I feel really bad about it. There are some interesting themes exploring issues of faith that stay sympathetic while leaning towards a bleak nihilistic outlook. They also pulled off one of the most disturbing scenes I've seen without an ounce of blood, so kudos there.

However, these films are often just this downward spiral of despair with no redemptive ark. As a viewer, you get just as pummeled as the characters, and I'm often left wondering why I do this to myself. I mean, I'm actively making the choice to never watch Slaughtered Vomit Dolls, so I've got to admit there is a line somewhere, I'm just not exactly sure where it is.