jacobpleasants Reviews

RoboCop (1987)

Part Man, Part Robot, All 80s Action Flick.

[8/10 · 26 December 2008]

Officer Murphy arises from the dead as a robotic cop who is about to kick some criminal butt...

It sounds pretty corny, and it is pretty corny, but it's a pretty great ride while it lasts. As soon as you see the special effects, you know you're in an 80s movie, but that's what makes this so lovable. The action is a little cheesy at times and some of the lines are pretty lame, but if you decide to watch this movie because you want to see the Ironman of 20 years ago, you've made a mistake.

This movie knows what it is and doesn't try to be anything more. It has some pretty entertaining fight scenes and the whole concept of a robotic cop is pretty much all this needs. Sure, if this movie was made in 2008 it would be a bit pathetic, but as 80s action goes, this is pretty great.

Toy Soldiers (1984)

This could have been a great MST3K

[1/10 · 16 July 2008]

And in the context of MST3K, this may be worth watching. This movie is terrible, but I almost enjoyed watching it because it's just bad enough to incredibly hilarious. The plot is ridiculous and makes absolutely no sense, the premise is nonsensical, the acting is horrendous, and the action will make you cringe.

In one instance, scenes that are supposed to be the same time of day are just not: one of the scenes seems to have been shot around evening and the other is clearly in the middle of the night. There really was no attempt to make this movie anything more than a terrible little treat for us awful-movie fans.

So if you masochistically like to watch bad movies, I would recommend this one. I had a good time watching it. It's probably one of the worst I've seen in awhile.

I Am Legend (2007)

A horror film done right

[9/10 · 22 December 2007]

I Am Legend opens with some very familiar scenes: empty buildings, empty streets, general desolation, basically, the setup for a standard post-apocalyptic horror film. Yet once this film gets going, it quickly becomes apparent that this isn't just another death-of-mankind-type movie.

I did not read the book upon which this movie is based, so I cannot comment on whether or not it stayed true to the original story. Taken in and of itself, though, I Am Legend is basically what any horror film should be. First, this film isn't strictly horror, it has elements of drama, sci-fi, and thriller among other things. Nevertheless, the setting, the plot, and the amount of zombie-like creatures definitely puts it into the horror category as far as I'm concerned.

Now, this movie could have quickly been ruined by the kinds of gratuitous chase scenes and excessive violence that usually plagues horror films. It doesn't do that. It could have used the usual technique of "the audience is too stupid to figure out what happened unless we tell them every piece of the puzzle explicitly". It doesn't do that, either. It is much more subtle and much more interesting. The story is very psychologically based rather than action based and is a much more interesting movie because of it. Top it off with Will Smith in one of his best performances to date and you end up with something much more than your average sci-fi/horror flick.

Hard Candy (2005)

I am torn, so very torn

[24 November 2006]

After seeing this movie, it was nearly impossible to quite decide what I thought of it. On one hand, this film has some brilliant features. The acting was incredible and the cinematography was of very high quality. The plot line was imaginative and engaging, although rather stomach-churning at times. Yet despite all of these qualities, I walked away from the movie with a fairly sick feeling in my stomach.

Perhaps Hard Candy should be given a few extra points for having instilled such lasting emotion in the viewer, but half of me would argue otherwise. The sheer length of this movie made it more painful that it needed to be. The plot simply did not have enough breadth to successfully cover the full 103 minutes of running time. Instead, the audience is given excruciatingly prolonged scenes that make the viewing rather unpleasant.

Overall, I cannot give a score to this movie. Strictly speaking, all of the key elements are there and are brilliantly executed. However, I would postulate that few people would find Hard Candy entertaining or enjoyable.