The first 20 minutes are great. It felt very Matrixy, questioning reality and making statements on our society and art. They even have a hole section speaking about the expectations of making a good vs. Bad sequel. And then... It just... Becomes a bad sequel. It really weirds me out. It so strongly felt like they had a plan, that when it became such a bad movie I just thought: "Is this intentional? Is this Meta? Is this just a Red Hearing so it can become really good afterwards?". And the movie dragged and dragged, and bad exposition just kept coming, and fanservice started rolling and new the characters remained bad, and then came the ending. And I just stood there, questioning if I had really seen the movie, or if this was just a distraction and in fact there there is actually another version of the movie that is actually good, and if I knew it was a distraction, and the director knew, and the director knew that I knew, and if I knew that the director knew that I knew then maybe this is actually the real movie, but it the director knew that I knew that the director knew that I knew maybe it isn't and... what? It isn't? It is just a soulless movie? But... How? I thought you planned even the tinniest detail of this movies, I thought you guys had a plan, you made an entire segment making fun or soulless sequels and then... Go on and make one? By all means it just don't make sense? Is this a statement? The made fun of Warner Brothers, is this an act of revenge by the director? It doesn't feels like it. I don't know what the hell is going on, is that the point? Is this a statement about me? What is going on?
Reviews
12 Reviews
The Matrix Resurrections
(I) (2021)
20 minutes of Big Brain + 2 hours of truly soulless, soulless reebot
8 January 2022
Venom: Let There Be Carnage
(2021)
Such a waste...
15 November 2021
You got a movie starring a badass killer alien, a clowny serial killer and his GF, a newborn sadistic even more badass alien... and you managed to make it boring? This is not one of those "It could have been great if the director had tried", this one was BEGGING to be epic. The previous film was praised for the chemistry Venom and Eddie had, and the funny sequences in which they had to live together were great. But this film turned that to 11 and straight up tried to be a sitcom for like the first hour of the movie. Then there is Carnage... could you imagine Carnage being like a sadistic baby? Calling Kassidy an his GF (who BTW had so little to do that I literally forgot his name) daddy and mommy? Could you imagine him toying with humans, or having daddy issues with Venom? Could you imagine him being funny or... interesting or... something? There was, SO many things one could have done with Carnage, but instead thy chose to do nothing. He has no personality, no motives, no nothing. It is just a Red symbiont, and it is defeated exactly as all the symbionts are. Hell, Riot had more character that him, and his personality was just being an Alpha. But worst of all, I think, was Eddie's character. He went from a down on his luck, renegade reporter, to a winning and complaining little annoyance. Narrative speaking, the fact that he is always stopping Venom from eating bad guys makes sense. After all, IRL eating humans is gross. But cinematically speaking, this makes Eddie antagonistic to the audience, since the only reason we are in the cinema is to watch Venom do cool stuff. Kassidy's half-baked, archetypical serial killer backstory was the most entertaining part of the movie, and that is saying something. Simply speaking, nothing happens in this movie. Venom and Eddie fight a little at the beginning, the Kassidy does a Bowser on Eddie, they fight, and that's it. Seriously disappointing...
Raya and the Last Dragon
(2021)
Pinkie Pie and Moana collect the Dragon Balls!
11 March 2021
No, but seriously. It ain't that bad. I would watch it every day instead of Disney remakes. Is just beautiful to see, and you can see that people who made it had great ideas on where to take it. But the passing... Oh my, the passing. This movie doesn't stop to catch a breath. I can almost imagine this originally being a 2h30min movie and then a Disney executive came and was like: Na'ah, kids ain't gonna watch it. So they had to butcher it into just 1h40. I believe if you took the time to get to know the characters could have been a classic. Besides, It does seem a bit rushed in the editing.
I Care a Lot
(2020)
A tragic film
4 March 2021
Francis Ford Coppola once said that there is nothing as bad as a pretentious movie, a movie that aspires to something great and then doesn't achieve it is truly awful. And this is it. This pitiful attempt at 'Black Comedy', this distasteful joke of a script, this unmitigated catastrophe of an execution could have been Great. This movie tried to pull a 'no good guys' scenario in which a couple of absolute a**holes battle it off in a hilarious and exciting confrontation. Such great expectations, such high ambitions, and then it just failed. And oh my, how they failed! They failed to execute the 'no good guys' scenario, the failed at the confrontation, they failed at the hilarity, they failed at the excitement, and we were just left with the a**holes.
If this was just a boring good vs bad story, I at least would have the satisfaction of seen the villain get what it deserves. If this was a dumb fart joke comedy, it might at least drag a smile from the lower and primitive parts of my brain. If this was just another Hollywood cash grab blockbuster, it could at least serve as background noise for a conversation in a warm Sunday afternoon. If this was just the fourth soulless sequel of a series that should have died off years ago, I would at least be able to ignore it.
But it isn't any of those things. It tried to be a morally ambiguous stand alone innovative black comedy. And failed in all respects. And therefore it has truly nothing to offer, nothing worth your eyes passing over it, nothing worth you thinking of it. It is worthless.
If this was just a boring good vs bad story, I at least would have the satisfaction of seen the villain get what it deserves. If this was a dumb fart joke comedy, it might at least drag a smile from the lower and primitive parts of my brain. If this was just another Hollywood cash grab blockbuster, it could at least serve as background noise for a conversation in a warm Sunday afternoon. If this was just the fourth soulless sequel of a series that should have died off years ago, I would at least be able to ignore it.
But it isn't any of those things. It tried to be a morally ambiguous stand alone innovative black comedy. And failed in all respects. And therefore it has truly nothing to offer, nothing worth your eyes passing over it, nothing worth you thinking of it. It is worthless.
Witness for the Prosecution
(1957)
HOLLY S*@#!$!!!
16 January 2021
I did not saw that one coming!!! I've seen tons of movies like that, but the twist is always predictable. This one wasn't. I'm so happy I did not knew how it ended, spoiling this must be considered a crime!! Go watch it now!!!
The Life of Oharu
(1952)
Bleak doesn't mean good.
4 January 2021
Warning: Spoilers
It's a solid film, conveys a message, but I don't think that is enough. If one where to watch tons of movies, one will soon discover that not every film needs a happy ending, in fact some of the best movies have very sad and Bleak endings. However, a movie that wants to retain the feeling of satisfaction (that ussualy comes with a happy ending) from the audience, it better give something good in return! In other words, watching Oharu is rather boring. I think it could have benefited by spending more time with some of its main characters, and dropping a few minor ones. After watching two hours of Oharu, at the end I can barely say I know her. There is just too little time between tragedy and tragedy that you can't even begin to see the impact of the first one when a new tragedy comes. Also (and this is a hot take) I don't believe the casting was all the good it could have been. Especially at th begining Is very weird watching this clearly 43 year old woman pass as a 17 year old. It takes away from the illusion of realism, and therefore the empathy is so hard trying to achieve. I liked the initial theme of suffering for love and staying true to oneself, but the movie kinda drops those themes about halfway trough to focus solely on Oharu's disgraces. As a conclusion, I would say that it's bleakness doesn't pay off for the long and kinda boring experience of watching it, but it can be worth a watch for people who are already in love with the world of feudal Japan.
Tonal problems.
23 December 2020
Warning: Spoilers
Technically, is perfect, and a good movie overall. But... I read Left-wing critics at the time critized the novel this is based on because of its "Sentimental Humanism". After watching this movie I think I cam see what they ment. I hadn't caught unto the fact that the director wanted to make a Socialist movie vilifying a specific regime (or that this movie could be considered that kind of movie at all). The previous movies always were critical of Imperial Japan, yes, but it was never the struggle of one group against another (by example, socialists against imperials), just the struggle of humanity against inhumanity. The ending of this film abandons this more humanistic struggle entirely, and simply depicts the tragic effects a certain ideology or regime can have on an individual. It is just so weird that after so much talk about the virtues of fraternity, hope, standing for one's ideals and don't giving up, the film ends with such a tragic tone. It makes me think about the tittle. What am I to conclude about the Human Condition? According to this movie, apparently it's nothing special, but sure is better than those fitlhy capitalist Pigs and their ideology! At least I didn't get that impression in the last five parts. It's the ending realistic? Yeah. Do all films need a happy ending? Of course not. But it really generates some serious tonal and discursive dissonance within itself, and within the previous 4 parts.
Rocky V
(1990)
One hell of a movie.
7 December 2020
All right, this ain't no Citizen Kane and won't be getting academy awards in a million years, but this is a really good movie. This breaks from the traditional Rocky formula and bring us to a more down to earth depiction of the life of an aging athlete. There is a lot of Family drama, heart warming scenes and also some good old life lessons. If they wanted to make a soulless sequel, they just had to invent another big bad rival to challenge Rocky in a big climax for the tittle. However, they instead took the risk to make something different, and (even though that by itself doesn't make a great movie), in my opinion, the result was something that enriched the character and story of the previous films. It makes them feel more real. As stated before, it won't bring home any awards (although that is hardly to be expected for the fourth sequel of a saga), but it's really fun, entretaining and made with a lot of heart. I don't really know what else to expect from a movie.
The Steel Edge of Revenge
(1969)
Original, yet Flawed.
1 December 2020
It offers something new to the classic premise of the Samurai movie, and delivers some cool moments. But the direction and camera movements aren't very good and the passing is too slow, and stops when you are about to get invested in the action. Also I think it could have used music better.
Duck Soup
(1933)
Seriously Overrated.
10 November 2020
It's just not funny folks. The characters are unlikable and the movie has an overall bad taste. What's crazy is that this is put in the same conversation as The Great Dictator. Not a chance. To put it simply, TGD is a Smart comedy, and this is a Dumb comedy. This doesn't really make fun of autoriatarianism, it is just a blabbering show which happens to be set in an authoritarian state. So, if it's not funny and really doesn't satirize anything... What has it got?
The Brain That Wouldn't Die
(1962)
So bad it's funny, but definatelly not good.
29 October 2020
This is the kind of movie you laugh at, not with it. It's like checking an anuary. You slowly turn the pages and once in a wile laugh at someone's super cringy expression, mock an overly cheesy phrase someone wrote, and even appreciate a genuinely witty quote. It has terrible acting, terrible dialog, average camerawork, and just a laughable story.
I'll like to say it's so-bad-it's-good, but It takes itself seriously as a terror film and therefore one cannot take it with the open mindedness and joy so-bad-it's-good requires. The makeup at the end is good though.
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