JLawFan1 Reviews

Dune (2021)

bad movie and not fun to watch

[4/10 · 23 October 2021]

I didn't expect anything and still got disappointed. It's slow and boring. Many people praise visuals, but it's just blatant green screen every scene. Bladerunner 2049 looks MUCH better than this one. I only really liked music, too bad it couldn't save this movie. And the worst part is that it's only the half of the story. "Should've read the book!" is not an excuse.

Serenity (2005)

Good as a long episode of Firefly but not enough as a standalone movie

[6/10 · 15 June 2021]

Despite all the best efforts to give an insight for a new viewer about all the characters, it's just too much to pick up in a swift manner in order to enjoy the movie without getting lost. Not a problem for a Firefly fans but there lots of other flaws. A lot of characters, events but not enough of each, a lot of way too convenient things. Movie feels rushed like it's want to show you lots of things but at the same time tries to contain itself within 2hr mark. It is also pretty damn dark and brutal. It could've been and should've been stretched for a whole second season or at least a couple of episodes of it. Shame. Still better than nothing.

The Neon Demon (2016)

Visually stunning but that's it

[5/10 · 13 June 2021]

If you've been searching for a film that you could pick almost every single frame from for a wallpaper, seek no more this is it. Otherwise the plot is predictable and intentionally slow pace isn't that interesting. Shock value scenes just for the sake of it. It gets boring really fast.

Firefly (2002–2003)

Can you imagine this ended after first season?

[8/10 · 11 June 2021]

Personally I'm not a fan of tv series without overarching plot because I want to be addicted and sit the whole night watching, but this is just so great and adorable. While not really deep it's one of the coolest sci fi setting I've experienced: western in space. Character development and Nathan Fillion make it an unforgettable watch. I just wish some more.

The Bill Engvall Show (2007–2009)

It's ok

[5/10 · 8 June 2021]

Very average family friendly show. Nothing crazy just family stuff and background laughter. Very few extras and locations make it stale pretty fast. First season was whatever, first half of second season was definitely the peak of the show and by the end of third season you'll be pretty tired of it just like the actors. The idea of Bill being a family therapist was never really explored and completely abandoned after fist season. I'd say it's worth watching for JLaw fans.

American Sniper (2014)

Good war movie

[7/10 · 7 June 2021]

Clint Eastwood + biography genre is always equals to above average dryness for me and it was true for this movie. Still it is very good. Some vfx like digital blood were really bad though.

The Devil You Know (2013)

Why

[1/10 · 6 June 2021]

The movie is 1 hour and 15 minutes long, 12 minutes of those are credits. Half or more of the movie is characters walking, driving, doing nothing DRAMATICALLY with a background music. Script is purposefully confusing in a bad way unfortunately but the plot actually have potential though. With that said you're gonna yawn from start to finish even with the fact that it's just an hour long movie. There's no point watching this unless you want to accomplish some questionable achievement like watching all JLaw movies or something like that.

American Hustle (2013)

Nope

[4/10 · 5 June 2021]

Every single character in this movie is unlikable. There's no character to root for, no protagonist. Non essential characters are just some caricatures that don't have much screen time. The premise of the story is pretty good but almost immediately turns out to be kind of unappealing. Film is unpredictable in a bad way when motivations and the end goal are shifting constantly.

But actors are acting their ass off. Almost every single scene out of context looks like it's from a great movie. Shame there wasn't any solid foundation. I'll watch Serena (2014) over this one.

Garden Party (2008)

Nah

[3/10 · 31 May 2021]

Here are some stories and you just observe them from start to finish without anything interesting happening. Surprisingly there are a lot of enjoyable bits somewhere between, but ultimately it's really not worth watching.

Logan (2017)

Powerful

[8/10 · 31 May 2021]

I was hesitant to watch Wolverine trilogy because I don't care about the character and I never liked Hugh Jackman. First two movies were very mediocre but this one might be the best X-Men movie. Drama, feelings, long awaited gore in a Wolverine movie and excellent action. And Hugh Jackman gave maybe his best performance ever.

X-Men: Apocalypse (2016)

Insanely generic

[5/10 · 30 May 2021]

At some point while watching you will think that you already saw it before. The formula of this film is so simple and unoriginal it kinda made me angry. There are no interesting concepts in this movie. I would go as far to say it's a Transformers 2 but not bad.

The Wolverine (2013)

Wolverine in Japan

[6/10 · 30 May 2021]

To be frank there's nothing really deep or spectacular about this one, but it's not a crap show like the origins movie. Japan gives this film a lot of light and bright colors which makes the movie fresh looking. Feels like people were having fun making this.

The Burning Plain (2008)

Not enough fire

[6/10 · 30 May 2021]

Down to earth and realistic to the point of being bland. Interesting story interestingly presented but without enough power behind. Though It wasn't a chore to sit through unlike other early JLaw films in similar genre.

Serena (I) (2014)

Not half as bad as I imagined

[6/10 · 29 May 2021]

I didn't read the novel and this movie is probably not worth watching. I knew the scores were very low so I didn't expect anything and maybe that's what made watching this movie an enjoyable process. There's a lot of missed potential here and there, at some point I thought that the story just wasn't worth filming in the first place, but I changed my mind closer to the end. I found many things in the movie very interesting, they just weren't executed very well. Many people are bashing editing but apart from one scene in the very beginning nothing really was any striking. I grew to like Serena character, I wish there was more her.

X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014)

Bryan Singer is back

[7/10 · 29 May 2021]

Much more enjoyable experience than First Class. Very tolerable time travel concept. Great vfx, good acting. One of the actors who played mystique in disguise really nailed some of JLaw's expressions and that was really great.

X: First Class (2011)

Felt off half way through

[6/10 · 29 May 2021]

Some tone dissonance is present. At some point things became a little less grim and serious, music montages and comic book stylizations were added. Some scenes felt like they were brought from a tv series quality wise. Otherwise a good movie.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)

Funny

[5/10 · 29 May 2021]

I don't remember the last time I saw vfx this bad. Overall this movie is borderline bad, but entertaining. Still delivers a story somehow. As goofy as he is I liked Liev Shreiber as sabretooth. A dissonance between violence and lack of blood is very present.

X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)

A little rushed but still good entertainment

[6/10 · 29 May 2021]

I mainly dislike Magneto's character in this movie, suddenly he appeared to be a lot less likeable, and also the stupidity of a lot of characters, mainly Magneto again. Movie tackles on two plotlines and don't really develop them enough before giving conclusions to both. Some very bold decisions due to troubled production won't be forgiven by comic fans.

X2 (2003)

Perfect sequel

[8/10 · 28 May 2021]

Improvements in everything. Still written as tightly, no detours, amazing action scenes, suspense. If you really want to think about cons then it's probably have to do something with power balance, but personally I don't like to think about negatives in a movies I like. Very enjoyable!

X-Men (2000)

Amazing

[8/10 · 28 May 2021]

I never really read any comic book in my life and don't really care. I saw this movie when I was a kid and I don't really remember anything but the fact that I liked it. And now after watching it so many years later I found it surprisingly outstanding and I can understand why. It is very tightly written, cover a lot of themes and events and with all this it's short which is also good. A lot of VFX and stunts didn't age well and sometimes they look very goofy and hilarious, but I'll forgive it in the movie this old. Genuinely feel good after watching it and you will too.

The Poker House (2008)

Good acting is not enough for a good movie

[4/10 · 28 May 2021]

Should've been focused solely on Agnes (JLaw) and the main event. Diluted, disjointed, scattered good stuff, detours and some pieces nobody really needs. Even good scenes are often overstay their welcome. Narration for some reason. Slow pacing also doesn't help. Good acting from everyone including children though. Agnes is a little too good for a young girl. I can't really believe a 13 year old child can be at the same time very good in basketball, have some work in a newspaper, taking care of younger sisters AND solving differential equations while also at the same time living in an extremely stressful environment. A little overkill don't you think?

Winter's Bone (2010)

Didn't get the praise

[4/10 · 28 May 2021]

Cool setting, looks good here and there, but ultimately it's just girl walking around, talking with people and then some of them just decide to help her so that she could stop disturbing neighborhood. There was nothing really engaging in terms of scenario, I guess it was too realistic for it's own good, but at the same time people here don't really act alive, kinda feigned to be honest. There's no suspense, no action, no good dialogues and no interesting story.

The Beaver (2011)

Very hard to sit through

[4/10 · 28 May 2021]

There's a lot of depression in this film from almost every character and it's really tough and was shown really good and that's why a lot of people actually like this film and you should probably give it a go.

The main problem for me is the amount of awkwardness to come through with a beaver in a scene. Mel Gibson is good alright but just the concept makes me feel embarrassed and dizzy. Had to scroll along the way to get to the end.

House at the End of the Street (2012)

Better than expected

[4/10 · 27 May 2021]

Yeah I only watched this because of Jennifer Lawrence and it's objectively the best part of the movie. A lot of clichés will make you laugh, all the scary moments are ridiculously lacking and predictable, yet still for some reason you don't really want to turn it off and kinda curious how it's going to end. As was mentioned in some other review this is a teen movie. Also there's one scene of people talking uses spinning camera like it's a Michael Bay movie. Very cool.

Red Sparrow (2018)

From premium cringe to yawnfest

[3/10 · 27 May 2021]

I saw some funny reviews poking on "Russian bots" and stuff rating movie very low and got genuinely confused who's really the bot.

So yea I'm Russian and the most minor flaw this movie has is the image of Russia and Russian language. It looks really dated, about early 00's. The timeline is also very weird. When the movie starts it's cold outside, some months later and it's snowy and then after couple months it's still winter. Moscow has all the seasons and the summer is often very hot. The school looks very soviet like including outfits, very unrealistic. I think implementing Russian accents is stupid (just like Swedish accent in "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011)") and I also will never understand why actors can't learn just about 3 short phrases in Russian they have for a whole film without accent SO THICK you have to replay to understand what they were saying. And that's about it for Russia-related flaws from a Russian guy and that's very minor.

Unfortunately this movie is very bad regardless of decoration and it's setting authenticity. The school is claimed to be teaching it's students seduction and deceiving and stuff, but in reality it's just degrades and humiliates them and apparently boosts their lockpicking ability to the max. How come it's everything you need to know to be a high level spy? Well maybe they taught them at least some foreign languages behind the scenes as well as seduction mastery because even seducing which was mentioned in synopsis I believe wasn't really present in the school or in the movie at all. All the sexual scenes are either awkward or straight awful and forced. Well okay I didn't like it but there's still a story, characters, acting. Right?

Everything about acting and characters is bad. JLaw gives the most disappointing performance of her career. We don't really know her character except that she's caring for her mother she's vengeful, master of lockpicking and dead serious at all times. We don't really know much besides it, what she's thinking and why is she doing random lockpicking until grand reveal. Pretty much every character is very serious and emotionless. I didn't like Warrior (2011) but Joel Edgerton was great in that movie and I liked him. But here he's like a side character that had to replace a missing main one. Everyone here just says their basic dialogues until we see a final and that's it. Nothing is satisfying about this movie but one gory scene.

At first I was laughing then frowning and then just yawning. I saw a lot of films with low rating that turned to be a good or even great ones. I became a fan of JLaw since she's great in almost every movie regardless of their quality (I can't stand "American Hustle" and she's great there) so watching this movie was a question of time. With that said "Red Sparrow" is a real stinker.