Carl Tano Reviews

Daddy, Daddy USA (2005)

Dull treating of a potentially interesting subjects

[2/10 · 1 February 2006]

I saw this movie today at the Gothenburg International Film Festival and was almost bored to death. Half the audience (if not more) left the theater before the movie ended. I couldn't because I sat in the middle and was trapped. The movie is built around prolonged interviews where ppl tell their life stories spending too much time drowning us in boring details. The movie fails in the poor story-telling ability of the interviewees and Pierre Hodgsons inability to ask interesting and challenging questions to the subjects. The interviews last for too long and are often pointless. I was booooored. I didn't think it was possible to make such an uninteresting movie on the subject of race relations in the southern part of the US.

Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)

Masterpiece

[9/10 · 27 December 2003]

Who ever said a movie needs a story? In this day of computer effects, CGI and all that bullcrap which can be nice if used with a purpose and for the right things, but Hollywood has over used this method of creating unreal shots to spice up action scenes. Enter Kill Bill. I didn't notice any computer effects in this one. The impact the action scenes had on me (and believe me, they had quite an impact), came from the great choreography of Yuen Woo-Ping, the physical abilities of the stunt men and women involved and obviously from the incredible sense of style the great Quentin Tarantino possesses. I guess a lot of people will call this movie tasteless and dumb action and so forth. It's probably guilty as charged but you can't deny the artistic abilities of the director and the poetry in motion that this movie definately is. I gave it a 9 due to the lack of story but it's still the best movie of the year (Note: I haven't seen the return of the king yet). This American production has the same level of martial arts style and stays true to the genre like Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and Hero to make one of the best Kung Fu movies ever. I can't wait till Vol. 2.

Fearless Hyena 3 (1980)

Don't waste your time on this imitation

[1/10 · 3 July 2002]

When I saw this movie it went under the name Fearless Hyena III. Luckily it was shown on tv, so I didn't waste any money on this one. It's without a doubt the worst kung fu movie I have ever seen. It seems like they went through the phone book to find a guy with a similar name to Jackie Chan then they put him in this movie, the difference between Jackie Chan and Jackie Chen is that the real action hero has impeccable fighting skills while Jackie Chen can't perform a kick properly. Neither can anyone else in this production. Don't watch it, whatever you do! Learn from my mistake. I gave it a 1, and trust me it deserved it.

Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000)

Better than the prequel but still aweful

[1/10 · 31 May 2002]

This movie is better than Blair Witch 1 but I still gave it a 1 when I voted for it. That says a lot about what I thought of the prequel. Anyways, the acting couldn't have been worse, neither could the story or the screenplay. A bad story with bad lines and bad actors should be able to make a pretty worthless movie and it did. I read that they're making a third movie on this concept, and I don't know why they even bother. They would probably even make more money if they'd come up with something new. They would definatly make a better movie, because it doesnt get much worse than this, oh yeah, Blair Witch 1 was actually worse.

The Scorpion King (2002)

Cool, action-filled and simple

[6/10 · 28 May 2002]

This is another action movie that follows the guidelines for a Hollywood action flick. Hot chicks, quick (and few) lines, special effects and simple humor. To me, it succeeds at being a good movie, even though it doesnt bring anything new to the table. It won't be a remembered movie but still it is enjoyable to watch, thanks to The Rock, who is cool as always, also thanks to the good action and the hot females in this one especially Kelly Hu. She is crazy hot. Watch this if you're 11 to 35 and a male.

The Wood (1999)

Funny and very realistic piece of film

[6/10 · 6 August 2001]

I had heard from several people before watching this movie that it was not as good as Omar Epps' other work, movies like "Higher Learning" and "First Time Felon". I wouldn't say it was as good as those two movies, but it is definately worth while. A story we all can relate to, especially us men. The story is about the trials and tribulations that a young man go through in the hood, or should I say "the wood". The movie deals with how boys interact with girls at a young age, and it does so very realistically. The acting is impeccable, the characters are incredibly real and the way the story is told is very charming. The movie has humor and drama mixed together beautifully. I think this is a movie everyone should see.

Bowfinger (1999)

Surprisingly funny movie

[6/10 · 6 August 2001]

I'm no huge fan of Steve Martin, maybe even the complete opposite but I've liked some of Eddie Murphy's earlier movies for example "Nutty Professor". In this movie Eddie Murphy plays two parts, unusually little for a guy like Eddie. He does so well and he is very funny in the part where he plays Jiff the dork. The movie is very entertaining and it makes you laugh out loud several times, it shows off two of the most famous comedians Steve Martin and Eddie Murphy from a very good side. They are both placed in parts where they really get a chance to shine. Check this movie out.

Late Show with David Letterman (1993–2015)

This is a very funny show

[6 August 2001]

David Letterman must one of the funniest TV-personalities ever, and this is one of the funniest shows I have ever seen. I don't think you can watch every night, week in and week out because you eventually get a little bit bored of the jokes since they are basically the same every time. But I can watch this show about 2-3 times per week and still get a big laugh every time, out of David Letterman, Paul Shaffer, the skits and the rest of the crew, especially Alan Kalter, he is one funny guy. Everyone should have a look at this show, especially middle-aged men.

Rush Hour (1998)

Incredibly funny, average action

[8/10 · 3 August 2001]

Chris Tucker is one of the best comedic actors on screen right now and Jackie Chan is the best action star ever. You mix them up and what do you get? Quite a rush. There are not as many or as long kung fu fighting scenes like in Jackie's good old Hong Kong classics like Drunken Master II or Project A. But on the other hand, those movies don't make you laugh like Rush Hour. This is without a doubt the funniest movie Jackie has ever appeared in. The movie does never have a dull moment, it's action and laughs, action and laughs throughout the whole thing. This isn't a movie for everyone but anyone who likes Jackie Chan or Chris Tucker will probably love it. I know I did.

200 Cigarettes (1999)

Not very good, but decent

[3/10 · 2 August 2001]

This movie never gets boring even though at the end it starts to feel a little long. There's too much conversation in it at times, often simple unneeded conversation which probably is suppose to be funny but fails miserably. The good thing about the movie though is that the story moves along quite nicely, even though there's a lot of conversation things actually do happen in it at times.

I didn't really like the characters in it because they are stereotypical and simple, but I guess you have to make them like that because if you don't it would be difficult for the audience to get to know all the characters since there is a lot of them in this film. The acting in it is below average, the best acting job in this film I thought was made by the Scottish guy who seemed convincing in his part. Christina Ricci was a huge disappointment since she normally is a great actress but she didn't fit in playing her character. Her accent seemed really fake and phony.

Mars Attacks! (1996)

It is not good.

[1/10 · 31 July 2001]

It's kind of incredible how they got an all star cast for such a lousy movie. I mean, do these superstars agree to act in just about anything? It really does seem like it because this must be one of the worst movies I've ever seen. It is not funny, entertaining or interesting in any way. I guess this movie had about three laughs and fifty sighs. It's kind of funny how bad this movie is, because if you have one or two stars in a movie, thanks to them, the movie automatically gets a little better. Here you had like 12 great celebrity actors and still it sucks. The script is lousy, the Martians are probably the high point of this movie, and they are not funny. I'd love every single person who liked this movie to try to tell me why it was good, because I just can't see how you would be able to like it. Don't waste your time watching this movie, if you haven't already seen it, because it is not worthy of your time.

American Pie (1999)

Unbelievably funny

[6/10 · 26 July 2001]

This is a movie for people who are able to let go of themselves for a while and just laugh like crazy at crazy people doing crazy things. This might not be the most original movie ever made but it has some original ideas in it, for example I've never seen a guy humping a pie recently. I think some people misunderstands this movie, it's not so much about how teenagers act these days it's more a parody of and an exaggeration of what young people growing up go through. It's not supposed to be about what society is like, it's supposed to make fun of what society is becoming. When you watch this one, for maximum pleasure drop all your morals and intelligence for 90 minutes and just sit back and enjoy a hilarious flick.

Fist of Legend (1994)

Unbelievable fighting scenes

[9/10 · 26 July 2001]

I saw a cheap dubbed version of this movie. The dubbing sucked badly. Still it was plain awesome. Jet Li really shows some incredible skill in this one, some of his moves made me jump out of my seat and just scream like a mad man. It was out of this world. Anyone who likes any type of action movies must see this one. It has a lot of fighting scenes, they are long and incredibly well-choreographed which Yuen Woo Ping is responsible for, the same man who choreographed the fight scenes for The Matrix. I think everyone should see this one, and don't look at the fights as violent, see them as athletic and beautiful, when you start to do that, that's when you'll start to enjoy movies like this one. 10/10 because it's a work of art.

Project A (1983)

Great stunts, great fighting

[9/10 · 26 July 2001]

Incredible movie, it ranks up there with some of Jackie Chan's best movies. It is not to be missed by any martial art-movie fan. The stunts performed in this movie is incredible. The clock tower fall by Jackie Chan is the most amazing one but I also loved some of the falls that Jackie's opponents did, a lot of people must have gotten injured while making this movie. The fighting scenes are top-notch, maybe not quite as good as the ones in Drunken Master II, which still remains my favorite Jackie Chan movie even though this one gets really close. Jackie Chan must be the most exciting man ever to appear in a movie, he risks his life to bring us entertainment, is he dumb, crazy or out of his mind? I don't know, all I know is that he's entertained me more than any other man ever has. Watch this movie and prepare to be amazed.

Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001)

A slow-moving disappointment

[25 July 2001]

Let me start with the positive: Angelina Jolie, great actress and great beauty, lethal combination. She is great at playing the part of Lara Croft. Another positive thing was the really cool action scenes, especially the fight which opens the movie which includes a lot of sweet athletic moves performed by Lara Croft. The action scenes really made the adrenaline start pumping in your body and that first scene really made me excited about what was coming up later on.

Unfortunately about 45 minutes later the movie started dropping fast in quality and speed. The action packed beginning went to a closure and a slow ending of the movie started to bore me. Towards the end the action scenes became worse and worse and the tempo of the movie was nowhere to be found. For about 30 minutes in the end I was just waiting for the thing to be over. I wouldn't recommend this movie to anyone, there are a lot better stuff out there with Angelina for y'all to enjoy for example Gone In 60 Seconds which is really cool.

The Matrix (1999)

Ooohh!

[10/10 · 25 July 2001]

Ooohh! This movie is slightly above the average, just kidding. It's much better than your normal sci-fi/action-movie. The action scenes are greater and more well-made than anything that at least I've seen before. The story of the movie and the feeling of the movie is also something special. The movie has a strange kind of feeling which allows even a normal conversation to get your adrenaline going. The movie is straight phenomenal. It surpasses 2 hrs but the 2 hours feel like 15 minutes because the tempo of the movie is so fast.

The acting is also superior in it compared to any other action movie. The cast including superstars like Laurence Fishburne and Keanu Reeves also has a solid set of great actors in supporting roles. This must be the most well-made, most thought-out action/sci-fi movie ever and I'm surprised this wasn't nominated for best movie during the oscars, since it is so entertaining and every second of it is an experience not to be missed.

Drunken Master II (1994)

Wow, this is something special

[10/10 · 15 July 2001]

I'm a huge fan of Jackie Chan but I have not seen titles such as Project A, Police Story or Dragons Forever as of right now but I have seen a lot of Jackie's movies, and this is the best one as of yet. There are plenty of fights in this one and the fight in the end is the most spectacular one I have ever seen on film. I think almost anyone can enjoy this movie just because Jackie's physical fitness at the age of 40 is just so amazing considering the amount of injuries he's had. This is a must-see. Plenty of awesome, jaw-dropping, eye-popping kung fu fighting by the kung fu fighting man Jackie Chan. By the way I've seen the original Cantonese version and that's the one I think everyone should see, the amount of humor in this film might be lost in a dubbed version. I really thought this movie was funny as well.

Battle Creek Brawl (1980)

No, just do not waste your time on this

[1/10 · 14 July 2001]

Jackie Chan is without a doubt the most exciting person to watch on the screen, but this one; forget about it. It's just not any good. They didn't speed the fighting up which means that it was too slow to be thrilling and it doesn't make you go wow, like most of his other movies do. The only reason to see it is to make you understand why his early Hollywood attempts fell way flat. By the way, Jackie fought fat and slow people in this film, not fast and skilled martial artists like at least I want to see him face in his films. Do NOT waste your time on this one.

The Insider (1999)

Great acting great story, great movie

[8/10 · 2 July 2001]

The Insider is without a doubt a masterpiece. Two of the absolute finest actors of our time, Al Pacino and Russell Crowe, are both at the peak of their game in this incredible movie. I was especially impressed by Russell Crowe who I think is even better in this movie than he was in Gladiator. The acting really brings this movie to the even greater heights, but I think it really needed supreme acting since it's so important that the characters in the movie are well portrayed because the movie is very realistic, and the way the people respond to the things that happen to them in the story is very realistic.

The story of the movie is also done very well and even though the movie surpasses 2 hrs and 30 minutes it never even gets close to get tiring or boring because of the extremely entertaining story which is consistently being delivered at a very constant high pace, so there is never a dull moment. It's a movie that stirs up great anger towards the tobacco company, and it's the type of movie who leaves me as a non-smoker asking myself: Don't already people know it's no good for yourself to smoke, so then why is it so special when new information about the tobacco-companies is released? That's a question I don't know the answer for.

I think the movie is entertaining because of the acting and because of the way Russell Crowe's character is being chased by tobacco companies and, the sad part is that those kind of things do actually happen, you sometimes hear about smoking documentaries not being able to air because of anonymous threats. This movie is a great way of showing how criminal the tobacco companies actually are.

He Got Game (1998)

Great acting and a great story

[7/10 · 29 June 2001]

Ray Allen surprised me of his skills as an actor and he was able to portray the role of jesus shuttlesworth very well, however he was obviously outshined by Denzel Washington. Denzel in definately one of his strongest role performances ever. The movie was a little bit better than I expected. I enjoy movies about poverty, and how people try to pull down a rising star and when someone shows maturity and forgiveness when he is faced with a difficult situation, which is to me what this movie is about. It is a very realistic situation and the people react in a very human way which I really like because you seldom see this in movies.

I don't know what negative things there are to say about this movie, I enjoyed it all the way through and every time I see I feel really motivated to go out and play basketball.