You're Next is the epitome of the straight down the line, no surprises, no happy endings and highish kill count, slasher. Nothing original, it pours out the stuff we've come used to from the previous 20 years, and yet, there is just enough in this to make things exciting and intriguing - at least that is, for the first 45 minutes. Sharni Vinson, from the Aussie soap, Home and Away, is really good here, as Erin, who accompanies her boyfriend on a weekend trip to visit his parents. She willingly takes her role onboard and delivers the goods more times than not. In fact, I would further say, she alone makes this movie look and feel better than what it really is. Another worth mentioning is Joe Swanberg as Drake, the smart ass eldest son of the rich parents. But the rest of the cast are uninteresting and frankly, very boring. As well, the energy and workable tongue in cheek humour loses impact in the second half. But besides its suffering from a clear case of idea disintegration, You're Next does contain some clever pieces and can be classified as a decent horror movie, which admittedly doesn't mean a whole lot.
Reviews
200 Reviews
Red Eye
(2005)
Rough flight but smooth viewing
29 April 2024
Wes Craven delivers his signature, momentum sustaining style, in Red Eye. It works for most of its efficient run-time, largely due to excellent direction and keen performances.
It's an out there storyline - political assassin abducts hotel manager to exact a deadly room change in order to scrub out government official. Far-fetched yes, but there's an engaging mix of light-heartedness and tension, which itself doesn't work in many films as it does here. McAdams and Murphy do a great job, bouncing off each other both verbally and physically and are each very well suited for their roles.
Commendable in it's ability to keep me interested with action, tension and humour, Red Eye is a fast-paced, enjoyable ride.
It's an out there storyline - political assassin abducts hotel manager to exact a deadly room change in order to scrub out government official. Far-fetched yes, but there's an engaging mix of light-heartedness and tension, which itself doesn't work in many films as it does here. McAdams and Murphy do a great job, bouncing off each other both verbally and physically and are each very well suited for their roles.
Commendable in it's ability to keep me interested with action, tension and humour, Red Eye is a fast-paced, enjoyable ride.
It Chapter Two
(2019)
To be a horror or not to be a horror, that is the question I ask of thee
25 April 2024
After seeing the first chapter of It I was apprehensive to say the least, upon deciding to give chapter 2 a go. I was very unimpressed with the first for many reasons that don't need to be mentioned here, other than to simply say it was difficult to watch. Chapter 2 is better than 1, but other than watching the lovely Jessica Chastain, whom is a talent and gives the action scenes a considerable boost, the value in 2 comes mainly from the visual aspect, where on many occasions I was thrilled and enthralled by the special effects. The actual story, involving a shape-shifting and seemingly invincible, child-eating monster that in the end is somehow destroyed from nothing more than words and comeraderie, just doesn't sit well with me and allows very little room for credibility.
Stephen King invents a monster that is exceedingly powerful, able to alter its shape into anything it wishes, while possessing undefendable strength and savagery. It hunts and devours children at will and yet, despite this, a group of friends somehow are able to defeat it, even though no one else has a hope in hell of escaping it's wrath. I guess it's King's way of saying if you have belief in yourself and your friends you can achieve the seemingly impossible. Which is a likeable sentiment if you're watching something like Famous Five, but not so much if you're watching a horror movie. After all, some scenes are really gruesome in '2'. Kid's heads get chomped and plenty of blood is spilt, so it's obviously not meant to be a feel good movie. Or is it? This is my main criticism with it. One minute it's horror, the next it's a comedy. Sure, movies like Ghostbusters was a mix of spooks and laughs, but the reason it worked so well was because it kept its level of gruesomeness to a minimum, was appropriately rated PG and didn't contain severe switches in mood. Light-hearted is a term that comes to mind when considering Ghostbusters, but the same can't be said for It Chapter 2. It spins off in extremes from jovial to terrifying which for me just doesn't work. How you can joke around when a monster is killing your friend is perplexing in no small quantity.
But this is what we've come to expect from King and I shan't criticize him here in depth, except to say he is one weird puppy. But hey, if you like your 'horrors' with a strange mix of Indiana Jones, Lord of the Rings, Little House on the Prairie and Brady Bunch, definitely seek this out, for you will be in your element.
Stephen King invents a monster that is exceedingly powerful, able to alter its shape into anything it wishes, while possessing undefendable strength and savagery. It hunts and devours children at will and yet, despite this, a group of friends somehow are able to defeat it, even though no one else has a hope in hell of escaping it's wrath. I guess it's King's way of saying if you have belief in yourself and your friends you can achieve the seemingly impossible. Which is a likeable sentiment if you're watching something like Famous Five, but not so much if you're watching a horror movie. After all, some scenes are really gruesome in '2'. Kid's heads get chomped and plenty of blood is spilt, so it's obviously not meant to be a feel good movie. Or is it? This is my main criticism with it. One minute it's horror, the next it's a comedy. Sure, movies like Ghostbusters was a mix of spooks and laughs, but the reason it worked so well was because it kept its level of gruesomeness to a minimum, was appropriately rated PG and didn't contain severe switches in mood. Light-hearted is a term that comes to mind when considering Ghostbusters, but the same can't be said for It Chapter 2. It spins off in extremes from jovial to terrifying which for me just doesn't work. How you can joke around when a monster is killing your friend is perplexing in no small quantity.
But this is what we've come to expect from King and I shan't criticize him here in depth, except to say he is one weird puppy. But hey, if you like your 'horrors' with a strange mix of Indiana Jones, Lord of the Rings, Little House on the Prairie and Brady Bunch, definitely seek this out, for you will be in your element.
'I don't know what we got here - something strange'
11 April 2024
The above statement comes from the cop at the end of the movie, and it encapsulates my exact sentiments regarding Prom Night 2, as I really have no idea what I just watched, but I sure know it was very strange indeed.
The story revolves around a girl who dies a fiery death and decides decades later it's now time to rise from her grave and seek to exact her revenge on the one she blames for her demise. This is all good and well - we can take this is as a fair course of action - after all, this is an 80s horror film and would expect nothing less. Trouble is, the people who made this movie, forgot to hire a script writer, a director and a special effects technician. It's an extremely poorly made movie and the picture quality is frighteningly terrible.
On top of this pile of scattered debris, we also find a shetload of copy-cat scenes, that absolutely border on the illegal, at least of a moral nature, as numerous movies, such as Nightmare on Elm Street, Carrie and Exorcist are direct victims of idea robbery. And I think that's what really gave me the most negative vibes about Prom Night 2, how it steals from other movies and has no pieces of originality whatsoever.
But as I say, the problems with it go far deeper than plagaristic activities. It's meant to be a horror but it's never scary. At all. The kills are lame and spaced so far apart, I forgot who the previous killed character was and also forgot it's meant to be a horror.
Make no mistake, this movie is a mistake. I managed however to find 3 stars for it, representing the amount of times I thought about, but refrained from, ending it and returning to my serial killer doco series on Tubi. Wendy Lyon's form in the showers also stopped me from falling asleep.
The story revolves around a girl who dies a fiery death and decides decades later it's now time to rise from her grave and seek to exact her revenge on the one she blames for her demise. This is all good and well - we can take this is as a fair course of action - after all, this is an 80s horror film and would expect nothing less. Trouble is, the people who made this movie, forgot to hire a script writer, a director and a special effects technician. It's an extremely poorly made movie and the picture quality is frighteningly terrible.
On top of this pile of scattered debris, we also find a shetload of copy-cat scenes, that absolutely border on the illegal, at least of a moral nature, as numerous movies, such as Nightmare on Elm Street, Carrie and Exorcist are direct victims of idea robbery. And I think that's what really gave me the most negative vibes about Prom Night 2, how it steals from other movies and has no pieces of originality whatsoever.
But as I say, the problems with it go far deeper than plagaristic activities. It's meant to be a horror but it's never scary. At all. The kills are lame and spaced so far apart, I forgot who the previous killed character was and also forgot it's meant to be a horror.
Make no mistake, this movie is a mistake. I managed however to find 3 stars for it, representing the amount of times I thought about, but refrained from, ending it and returning to my serial killer doco series on Tubi. Wendy Lyon's form in the showers also stopped me from falling asleep.
The House on Sorority Row
(1982)
Opportunity knocked but no one answered
4 April 2024
The story in House on Sorority Row is well set up, where a group of fraternity student girls are met with a troubling dilemma - getting away with accidentally killing their house boss, while still trying to host a party at the very scene of the crime.
But that's pretty much where the buck stops. Not much endeavor was explored by the producers to further the story, which unfortunately falls flat soon after the interesting premise. Dialogue is as cliched as you can get, which more times than not brings movies down in many ways, and because of this movie's progressive dullness, the dialogue definitely buries the potential it starts out with.
A couple of plusses are in the house itself, which looks really cool and somewhere I'd be excited to stay, especially with a group of my best friends. The gardens as well are nice but because this is supposed to be a horror movie I'm not sure if having the decor so comfy and inviting is the way to go. It doesn't seem to fit and doesn't induce the dread and frights we would expect, where a random slasher is knocking off the residents one by one. Even the kills themselves are pretty ineffective. So, unfortunately they missed a great opportunity to create something memorable here and instead left us with a very run of the mill and clumsy movie. I feel if they'd worked more on the humour it may have helped to take more of its silliness on board instead of wanting viewers to take it very seriously.
Some of the acting is ok. I've seen far worse in 80s slashers so there was an effort made in that and the characters are somewhat likeable. What is most missing in this, is the horror element. It's not scary and there's no tension build up of any kind. For this reason I can't go higher than 5 stars out of ten.
But that's pretty much where the buck stops. Not much endeavor was explored by the producers to further the story, which unfortunately falls flat soon after the interesting premise. Dialogue is as cliched as you can get, which more times than not brings movies down in many ways, and because of this movie's progressive dullness, the dialogue definitely buries the potential it starts out with.
A couple of plusses are in the house itself, which looks really cool and somewhere I'd be excited to stay, especially with a group of my best friends. The gardens as well are nice but because this is supposed to be a horror movie I'm not sure if having the decor so comfy and inviting is the way to go. It doesn't seem to fit and doesn't induce the dread and frights we would expect, where a random slasher is knocking off the residents one by one. Even the kills themselves are pretty ineffective. So, unfortunately they missed a great opportunity to create something memorable here and instead left us with a very run of the mill and clumsy movie. I feel if they'd worked more on the humour it may have helped to take more of its silliness on board instead of wanting viewers to take it very seriously.
Some of the acting is ok. I've seen far worse in 80s slashers so there was an effort made in that and the characters are somewhat likeable. What is most missing in this, is the horror element. It's not scary and there's no tension build up of any kind. For this reason I can't go higher than 5 stars out of ten.
The Stepford Wives
(1975)
Surprised I've never seen it til now - and enjoyed it
30 March 2024
With endorsements for artificial intelligence running rampant in 2024, Stepford Wives looks like as much a warning of things to come, as an engaging piece of cinema, that almost 50 years later is eerily relevant as well as a tad unsettling.
For a PG rating, it surprised me how nervy this movie made me feel, even though there's not much violence or scary scenes. The script is excellent and the cast do a great job, in building suspicion, tension as well as an innocent softness that itself would seem out of place, but actually blends in and enhances the all-round experience.
The connection between the husband and wife is unmistakable and establishes a believability amidst a story that some may think implausible. As for me, it all reflects what's happening in the world and even though that for me is worrying, I still enjoyed Stepford Wives, more than I thought I would.
For a PG rating, it surprised me how nervy this movie made me feel, even though there's not much violence or scary scenes. The script is excellent and the cast do a great job, in building suspicion, tension as well as an innocent softness that itself would seem out of place, but actually blends in and enhances the all-round experience.
The connection between the husband and wife is unmistakable and establishes a believability amidst a story that some may think implausible. As for me, it all reflects what's happening in the world and even though that for me is worrying, I still enjoyed Stepford Wives, more than I thought I would.
Evil Dead
(2013)
Better than a 5 but nowhere near a 7
22 March 2024
This edition of the Evil Deads can be analysed through 3 of it's main attributes/deficiencies. They being the cast, the atmospherics and the script.
Ok, so there are 5 characters that each have quite different worthiness in their contribution to the overall effects of the story. Mia, the recovering drug addict is very believable and reachable. Her struggles with everyday living are not histrionic or sugar-coated. She battles with a lot of crap and this is something many can relate with. Her brother David however, is poorly portrayed, as the ignorant, family-deserting scumbag. Without giving anything away, his protagonism is a misfire and doesn't hit the mark. Olivia, the nurse, who apparently wants to help Mia through sedative injections and reassuring vocabulary, is a more interesting character. It almost seems like she's already possessed by demonic influences at the start of the movie. Indeed, her over-confidence and control of Mia's livelihood allows the possibility of her not being as well-intentioned as she wants everybody to believe. So there is a sense of intrigue surrounding her and this kicks things off nicely. Then we have Eric, whom like his only male counterpart, is as bland and uninteresting as a blank canvas. But he's even less a contributor than David, as far as helping the story move forward and provides a forgettable character, who has no background to speak of, other than being a long lost acquaintance of David in a past life. His character is badly utilised by both casting crew and Lou Taylor Pucci himself. David's girlfriend Natalie is the obligatory dumb blonde, which is an unfortunate thing to say, but is unavoidably evident. She really has no purpose other than being the one to deliver the 80s horror chick-clueless dialogue, to assumingly enable the others to look far superior and more intelligent and subsequently bring her down further. So, out of the 5 main characters, only 2 stand out as contributing value to the story.
Of worthy mention in its entirety, is how well this film is shot. The lighting, make-up, spooky surroundings are all successfully created, which for me is the real highlight of Evil Dead. There is a thick and overwhelming sense of dread and the sinister forest works excellently as a character of it's own. So as far as atmospherics goes this movie contains an abundance of impressive imagery and successfully effective spookiness.
The script in Evil Dead is diabolically simple and it's almost as if, if they'd completely had no dialogue whatsoever, other than the necessary and effective screams of pain and terror, this movie would have worked just as well or even better. Which I find very interesting, because it really stands out to me where the crew wanted to concentrate their efforts into making it. Imagery and atmospherics were of the most importance, which as I say they did a great job with, but they had little interest in character development or storytelling, which is a glaring deficiency and not particularly well looked upon by yours truly.
As a horror instalment, Evil Dead is gory but not particularly scary, apart from a few jumps. Where it excels is in the clever use of make-up and realistic imagery concerning dismemberments and skin slashes. Artistically it is a success, but as a storytelling venture it very much is not.
Ok, so there are 5 characters that each have quite different worthiness in their contribution to the overall effects of the story. Mia, the recovering drug addict is very believable and reachable. Her struggles with everyday living are not histrionic or sugar-coated. She battles with a lot of crap and this is something many can relate with. Her brother David however, is poorly portrayed, as the ignorant, family-deserting scumbag. Without giving anything away, his protagonism is a misfire and doesn't hit the mark. Olivia, the nurse, who apparently wants to help Mia through sedative injections and reassuring vocabulary, is a more interesting character. It almost seems like she's already possessed by demonic influences at the start of the movie. Indeed, her over-confidence and control of Mia's livelihood allows the possibility of her not being as well-intentioned as she wants everybody to believe. So there is a sense of intrigue surrounding her and this kicks things off nicely. Then we have Eric, whom like his only male counterpart, is as bland and uninteresting as a blank canvas. But he's even less a contributor than David, as far as helping the story move forward and provides a forgettable character, who has no background to speak of, other than being a long lost acquaintance of David in a past life. His character is badly utilised by both casting crew and Lou Taylor Pucci himself. David's girlfriend Natalie is the obligatory dumb blonde, which is an unfortunate thing to say, but is unavoidably evident. She really has no purpose other than being the one to deliver the 80s horror chick-clueless dialogue, to assumingly enable the others to look far superior and more intelligent and subsequently bring her down further. So, out of the 5 main characters, only 2 stand out as contributing value to the story.
Of worthy mention in its entirety, is how well this film is shot. The lighting, make-up, spooky surroundings are all successfully created, which for me is the real highlight of Evil Dead. There is a thick and overwhelming sense of dread and the sinister forest works excellently as a character of it's own. So as far as atmospherics goes this movie contains an abundance of impressive imagery and successfully effective spookiness.
The script in Evil Dead is diabolically simple and it's almost as if, if they'd completely had no dialogue whatsoever, other than the necessary and effective screams of pain and terror, this movie would have worked just as well or even better. Which I find very interesting, because it really stands out to me where the crew wanted to concentrate their efforts into making it. Imagery and atmospherics were of the most importance, which as I say they did a great job with, but they had little interest in character development or storytelling, which is a glaring deficiency and not particularly well looked upon by yours truly.
As a horror instalment, Evil Dead is gory but not particularly scary, apart from a few jumps. Where it excels is in the clever use of make-up and realistic imagery concerning dismemberments and skin slashes. Artistically it is a success, but as a storytelling venture it very much is not.
Dead Sexy
(2018)
Probably the most simple - and almost successful - movie
20 March 2024
This is one of those movies where you already know not to expect too much or take it too seriously, before you even press play. That's the first plus for this movie - that it's an honest production albeit a very, very simple one, that makes no attempt to trick us into thinking it's anything but.
A haunted house, 3 ditsy but likeable girls and a somehow workable script are the key elements in Dead Sexy. There's no special effects here, no explosions, no real action other than a 20 mph reconnaissance mission to save Amber at the end, and yet, I enjoyed its simple approach and found it to be reasonably funny at times, especially the Brandy character was a feature for me.
The story is, yes you guessed it, very simple, but the goings on between the ghost and the girls is kinda fun, light-hearted stuff, even though it spills over into silly territory on more than a couple of occasions.
I guess it's also fair to say, if you're not into cute and ditsy chicks, you probably won't get much out of this movie, because it largely centres around their, dare I say it, unusual behaviors, that for me are welcomingly so, in a world full of otherwise serious and selfish folk.
A haunted house, 3 ditsy but likeable girls and a somehow workable script are the key elements in Dead Sexy. There's no special effects here, no explosions, no real action other than a 20 mph reconnaissance mission to save Amber at the end, and yet, I enjoyed its simple approach and found it to be reasonably funny at times, especially the Brandy character was a feature for me.
The story is, yes you guessed it, very simple, but the goings on between the ghost and the girls is kinda fun, light-hearted stuff, even though it spills over into silly territory on more than a couple of occasions.
I guess it's also fair to say, if you're not into cute and ditsy chicks, you probably won't get much out of this movie, because it largely centres around their, dare I say it, unusual behaviors, that for me are welcomingly so, in a world full of otherwise serious and selfish folk.
Candyman
(1992)
At least it tries to avoid the 80s hangover
18 March 2024
The backstory involving a vengeful, very dead, killer, is one that even the most die hard horror fans would think too absurd. I fit into that category but even so, Candyman is a decent horror flick.
Tortured and left to die from a swarm of angry bees but then somehow able to come back to life and slash people to death at random is what the story of Candyman is based upon. Looking into a mirror and saying 'Candyman' 5 times is all it takes to bring him out of the realms of death so that he can go about his gory 'agenda'. For one, why would you wish to conjure him up when you know he's not a genie that is going to grant you 3 wishes? That is a head scratcher and yet it's what we're meant to take on board in this movie.
Illogicalities aside, Candyman is mostly an effective horror/thriller/suspense outing. I like how it's so different from the 80s slashers of next to no intelligence and is instead cleverly scripted and well cast. The atmosphere too, feels very realistic and that makes it all work to relate to the viewers. Virginia Madsen is great in the lead role, she puts a lot into her performance that has a notable sincerity about it.
Tony Todd as the Candyman is a good fit but we don't actually see him for a long time. Not sure exactly how long it is but he doesn't make an appearance until a good way into the run time. But even so, I wasn't dissuaded or bored and thought they did a good job with making the movie interesting enough to keep me watching.
The horror element is certainly there, but it's not in your face and happening all the time. It largely builds momentum off it's well crafted suspense which is really great to see compared to the 80s style horrors.
Not brilliant by any means, but an above average movie even though it doesn't make a lot of sense.
Tortured and left to die from a swarm of angry bees but then somehow able to come back to life and slash people to death at random is what the story of Candyman is based upon. Looking into a mirror and saying 'Candyman' 5 times is all it takes to bring him out of the realms of death so that he can go about his gory 'agenda'. For one, why would you wish to conjure him up when you know he's not a genie that is going to grant you 3 wishes? That is a head scratcher and yet it's what we're meant to take on board in this movie.
Illogicalities aside, Candyman is mostly an effective horror/thriller/suspense outing. I like how it's so different from the 80s slashers of next to no intelligence and is instead cleverly scripted and well cast. The atmosphere too, feels very realistic and that makes it all work to relate to the viewers. Virginia Madsen is great in the lead role, she puts a lot into her performance that has a notable sincerity about it.
Tony Todd as the Candyman is a good fit but we don't actually see him for a long time. Not sure exactly how long it is but he doesn't make an appearance until a good way into the run time. But even so, I wasn't dissuaded or bored and thought they did a good job with making the movie interesting enough to keep me watching.
The horror element is certainly there, but it's not in your face and happening all the time. It largely builds momentum off it's well crafted suspense which is really great to see compared to the 80s style horrors.
Not brilliant by any means, but an above average movie even though it doesn't make a lot of sense.
Sleepy Hollow
(1999)
Sleepy viewer
15 March 2024
They call this a horror, but from the comical way everyone's head is so neatly cleaved with bugger all blood spurting, you'd think it was a cartoon.
Tim Burton is obviously interested heavily in fantasy style stories and that's his prerogative. What is a tad annoying though is how Sleepy Hollow has been labeled a horror, because it very definitely isn't such. Yes there are heads flying and people dying, but there is no sense of thrill, scares, or any nail-biting situations. People get murdered in different kinds of movies - dramas, actions even romances, and of course fantasies, which this movie is, a light-hearted fantasical adventure that I wouldn't have a problem with my kids watching. So that's the first point to be made. It's not a horror.
Johnny Depp is one of those actors that people either really like, or in my case, really don't like. I'm not sure exactly what it is - if it's the oddly happy way he prances about, or his borderline feminine appearance or his inability to act seriously for even 3 seconds, or a combination of all these things, I'm not sure - but he just doesn't do it for me.
Christina Ricci looks like she's taken some sleepy pills, such is her glazed look, on the road to ruin, or something along those lines. I just thought of that classic song 'one slip' by pink Floyd. Which I wouldn't blame her for doing, to help get through this very boring movie, seeing as she is a central character and must centre her character on what people must do in sleepy hollow.
If anyone has nightmares from watching sleepy hollow they should perhaps give Christina Ricci a call and ask her for some nice sleepy pills.
Tim Burton is obviously interested heavily in fantasy style stories and that's his prerogative. What is a tad annoying though is how Sleepy Hollow has been labeled a horror, because it very definitely isn't such. Yes there are heads flying and people dying, but there is no sense of thrill, scares, or any nail-biting situations. People get murdered in different kinds of movies - dramas, actions even romances, and of course fantasies, which this movie is, a light-hearted fantasical adventure that I wouldn't have a problem with my kids watching. So that's the first point to be made. It's not a horror.
Johnny Depp is one of those actors that people either really like, or in my case, really don't like. I'm not sure exactly what it is - if it's the oddly happy way he prances about, or his borderline feminine appearance or his inability to act seriously for even 3 seconds, or a combination of all these things, I'm not sure - but he just doesn't do it for me.
Christina Ricci looks like she's taken some sleepy pills, such is her glazed look, on the road to ruin, or something along those lines. I just thought of that classic song 'one slip' by pink Floyd. Which I wouldn't blame her for doing, to help get through this very boring movie, seeing as she is a central character and must centre her character on what people must do in sleepy hollow.
If anyone has nightmares from watching sleepy hollow they should perhaps give Christina Ricci a call and ask her for some nice sleepy pills.
Pet Sematary
(2019)
So they all died happily ever after
13 March 2024
The overall concept in Pet Sematary would have been workable if there wasn't so much stuffing around in the middle 45 minutes.
Being able to bring your loved ones back is something we may want to give a whirl. Deep down we would know there's something exceedingly wrong with the idea but we would be willing to try anyway. Particularly for a horror movie, this unsettling scenario could work very well, but unfortunately in this unsuccessful revival of the 1989 original, the execution is severely damaged by poor story development and the script is oh my goodness, the script...
Without the daughter's performance this would have been completely unwatchable. The rest of the cast are terrible but she at least is able to make some sort of effective viewing but it's only for a very short period in the movie that as I say, wastes a lot of time and increases frustration to unbearable levels. I saw the original and it was a lot better than this but that's not really a compliment, so take from that what you will.
Being able to bring your loved ones back is something we may want to give a whirl. Deep down we would know there's something exceedingly wrong with the idea but we would be willing to try anyway. Particularly for a horror movie, this unsettling scenario could work very well, but unfortunately in this unsuccessful revival of the 1989 original, the execution is severely damaged by poor story development and the script is oh my goodness, the script...
Without the daughter's performance this would have been completely unwatchable. The rest of the cast are terrible but she at least is able to make some sort of effective viewing but it's only for a very short period in the movie that as I say, wastes a lot of time and increases frustration to unbearable levels. I saw the original and it was a lot better than this but that's not really a compliment, so take from that what you will.
Gone Baby Gone
(2007)
Unwatchable without captions
11 March 2024
Warning: Spoilers
Maybe I'm being a little harsh on Casey Affleck. Maybe his character in Gone Baby Gone was required to have an undecipherable voice. Or maybe he just has an undecipherable voice? Who knows, but trying to get interested in this story was made difficult because of his voice.
The missing girl theme, while completely unoriginal, at least got me into the story up until we abruptly find out she is no longer alive and found deceased, with heaps of running remaining til the end, and it's then when I completely lost interest in their boring personal issues, which is the direction the movie then takes. I don't understand the positive reviews for this and all I can say is thumbs down, for a movie that doesn't work as a thriller, a drama, a comedy or a suspense. Big fail all round.
The missing girl theme, while completely unoriginal, at least got me into the story up until we abruptly find out she is no longer alive and found deceased, with heaps of running remaining til the end, and it's then when I completely lost interest in their boring personal issues, which is the direction the movie then takes. I don't understand the positive reviews for this and all I can say is thumbs down, for a movie that doesn't work as a thriller, a drama, a comedy or a suspense. Big fail all round.
Scream 2
(1997)
Convoluted and silly
27 February 2024
The first Scream was a genre boosting achievement because it did away with the laborious corny crap of the 80s and went for something different and fresh, with it's much needed creativity and cleverness and the result was a mostly entertaining horror.
Sadly, and I say sadly, because instead of building on its warmly accepted predecessor, Scream 2 goes back to the silly, unscary methods of the 80s and undoes all the good work done before it. Even though all the favourite characters are back, the awful dialogue and lame kills weigh the movie down terribly. Admittedly, matching or improving on the impressive original would have been a task, but Scream 2 looks like they just wanted to copy off the first and not even attempt to make anything worthy of a sequel.
I might be wrong in saying this, but it really looks like a very rushed production, for whatever reason, and seeing that this was released just one year after the first, this would indeed appear to be the case. Which kind of smells like a money hungry crew wanting to further cash in financially, ignoring any notion of honouring the first movie and doing it justice.
Sadly, and I say sadly, because instead of building on its warmly accepted predecessor, Scream 2 goes back to the silly, unscary methods of the 80s and undoes all the good work done before it. Even though all the favourite characters are back, the awful dialogue and lame kills weigh the movie down terribly. Admittedly, matching or improving on the impressive original would have been a task, but Scream 2 looks like they just wanted to copy off the first and not even attempt to make anything worthy of a sequel.
I might be wrong in saying this, but it really looks like a very rushed production, for whatever reason, and seeing that this was released just one year after the first, this would indeed appear to be the case. Which kind of smells like a money hungry crew wanting to further cash in financially, ignoring any notion of honouring the first movie and doing it justice.
Valentine
(2001)
Throw it Back
20 December 2023
You'd be forgiven for thinking this movie was made in the 80s, such is its relentlessly painful cheapness and laughable attempts to provide scares.
Valentine is a throw back to that era of slasher horror and it certainly needs throwing back. Denise Richards is a comical one, she really hasn't got much of a clue what's going on here, but then again none of the cast do, seemingly aware of the shet production they are involved in, but also apparently unbothered by this fact and willingly carry on anyway.
The kills are very uncreative and just pop out of nowhere having no impact and give no sense of rising tension or interest. I'm assuming they meant for this to be a comedy horror in the vain of Scream, but the script is very poor and as I say, the horror element is completely non existent. I don't really know why I've given it 3 stars, maybe it's because I get the feeling the makers of Happy Death Day - a successful slasher - borrowed a couple of ideas from this movie, perhaps.
Valentine is a throw back to that era of slasher horror and it certainly needs throwing back. Denise Richards is a comical one, she really hasn't got much of a clue what's going on here, but then again none of the cast do, seemingly aware of the shet production they are involved in, but also apparently unbothered by this fact and willingly carry on anyway.
The kills are very uncreative and just pop out of nowhere having no impact and give no sense of rising tension or interest. I'm assuming they meant for this to be a comedy horror in the vain of Scream, but the script is very poor and as I say, the horror element is completely non existent. I don't really know why I've given it 3 stars, maybe it's because I get the feeling the makers of Happy Death Day - a successful slasher - borrowed a couple of ideas from this movie, perhaps.
We Summon the Darkness
(2019)
A fun ride
18 December 2023
The characters and the tone of this movie reflect elements from The Craft, and there's been lots of shows set in this fashion over the years, but even though it doesn't hold a lot of originality, We Summon the Darkness does possess its fair share of whit, humour, as well as a nice amount of surprising freshness.
To think of its genre as purely 'horror' would be somewhat erroneous, but there sure is enough gore and shocks to satisfy horror buffs, including myself. More of a rompy, comedic spin on what can happen when young adults get together for a night on the pess. I mean, let's just spend a moment considering our many escapades back when we could down a zillion drinks and bounce out of bed the next morning, and we can easily appreciate where this movie goes and the crazy shet that transpires.
It's really a lot of fun, mixed with a spice of sadism that thankfully doesn't go overboard, and leaves one thinking, wow, that was a cool movie. Not too heavy, not too light, it's just right. Flashback to the Kellogg's add from the 90s there, remeniscing further.
So the story involves three lovely young ladies who get involved in an outing of road trip, metal concert, hitting the pess and getting caught up in a chaotic and deadly situation, that always entertains, thanks to the three leads, with laughs, thrills and spills throughout. Fully recommended for those who wish to just kick back and enjoy an entertaining watch without having to think too much about its plot, which we must admit, is very non existent - which in this movie is perfectly fine.
To think of its genre as purely 'horror' would be somewhat erroneous, but there sure is enough gore and shocks to satisfy horror buffs, including myself. More of a rompy, comedic spin on what can happen when young adults get together for a night on the pess. I mean, let's just spend a moment considering our many escapades back when we could down a zillion drinks and bounce out of bed the next morning, and we can easily appreciate where this movie goes and the crazy shet that transpires.
It's really a lot of fun, mixed with a spice of sadism that thankfully doesn't go overboard, and leaves one thinking, wow, that was a cool movie. Not too heavy, not too light, it's just right. Flashback to the Kellogg's add from the 90s there, remeniscing further.
So the story involves three lovely young ladies who get involved in an outing of road trip, metal concert, hitting the pess and getting caught up in a chaotic and deadly situation, that always entertains, thanks to the three leads, with laughs, thrills and spills throughout. Fully recommended for those who wish to just kick back and enjoy an entertaining watch without having to think too much about its plot, which we must admit, is very non existent - which in this movie is perfectly fine.
When a Stranger Calls
(1979)
Carol Kane undeniably cute
13 December 2023
Many reviewers have commented extensively on how soft the middle of this movie is and while it does feel like a loss in altitude, it doesn't lose its momentum completely. Besides which, I'd much rather talk about Carol Kane's input because she is quite amazing to watch, with her timing and theatrical expression. The shots of her sitting in the dark with only her pale, petrified face illuminated, really gives off a frightening image and realisation of her very troubling situations. As well, her voice is truly gorgeous and I simply was pulled in by her every moment, between her cuteness and innocence and then starkly different looks of terror.
I also liked Colleen Dewhurst in this. She takes over from Carol Kane in the middle part, the period that reviewers have criticised, where even though the creepy factor goes down, her character is engaging enough to keep my interest in the story. But yes, the change in direction that the movie takes in the middle is somewhat too much of a switch to handle and does bring the effectiveness down.
I was quite shocked, in a good way, with the final 30 minutes. I didn't expect certain things to happen and the horror element is fully revisited and brings a memorable finale. In some ways it reminded me of Halloween, with the escaped mental patient aspect and with Carol Kane's performance that part of the movie works well.
I also liked Colleen Dewhurst in this. She takes over from Carol Kane in the middle part, the period that reviewers have criticised, where even though the creepy factor goes down, her character is engaging enough to keep my interest in the story. But yes, the change in direction that the movie takes in the middle is somewhat too much of a switch to handle and does bring the effectiveness down.
I was quite shocked, in a good way, with the final 30 minutes. I didn't expect certain things to happen and the horror element is fully revisited and brings a memorable finale. In some ways it reminded me of Halloween, with the escaped mental patient aspect and with Carol Kane's performance that part of the movie works well.
All Creatures Here Below
(2018)
I didn't understand the ending
8 December 2023
Karen Gillan was a favourite of mine as the delightful Amy Pond in Doctor Who but this role in All Creatures Here Below is totally different, as a struggling young woman living on the fringes of society, with little to no income and prospects for her future. Her relationship with Gensan is marred with gloom as he too can't manage to function in society to establish any semblance of stability in his life. Understandably, this scenario isn't an uncommon or unbelievable one, it's just that I struggled to accept the choices that they make throughout this story, particularly that final act which had me extremely perplexed. In any case, the story had me somewhat interested in how things would turn out for the pair, despite there being a complete absence of action scenes and not much suspense either, even though their predicament would want us to believe there's more going on when there plainly isn't. I feel they were unsuccessful in building any momentum in tension, because the story moves very slowly and hasn't got the much needed spark to draw me in any further than the already long established premise. It certainly is not a light hearted watch and some people may find it too morbid to see it through to the end, and I could understand that even though I did manage to finish it. But I was disappointed in its conclusion and felt like nothing had been achieved by any of the characters. So, my opinion is, it's definitely not a must see movie. It provides nothing new or anything memorable, and it should have developed much better than this very ordinary outcome.
Brightburn
(2019)
Not a classic but pretty bloody good
2 December 2023
A mysterious baby "boy" is found in the forest by a couple who thus far have yearned for a child but not been able to have one. The kid isn't from Earth but that doesn't seem to bother them as he grows into a healthy, intelligent young teenager and everything seems to be going fantastic. But then dung hits the fan and that's when the movie becomes enjoyable, with its cool imagery and violent kills. Its simple approach is greatly received from myself, as the acting is kind of natural and not contrived. The script is also spot on with a mixture of humour and drama, delivered well by the cast. No it's not your feel good Saturday night movie, but it is a very decent horror film that hits the right buttons regularly.
Stan Against Evil
(2016–2018)
Cozy
1 December 2023
The first 6 episodes are fantastic - funny, entertaining, sometimes shocking. The new sheriff lady reminds me of a cross between Kate McKinnon and Elizabeth Montgomery from 'Bewitched'. And like Sam in that show, Evie in this one has to combat dodgy characters and save the day. She works well with Stan, the now retired sheriff, who begrudgingly allows her to take stock of the situation and direct traffic. They play off each other with comedic volleys and it's a show that you can just switch off with and sink into its comforting environment. The final 2 episodes, however, are distinctly different as the dialogue becomes unfunny and it all looks like it should have been done with 6 episodes. Looking forward to season 2.
Kiss the Girls
(1997)
Quality cast, terrible production
29 November 2023
When we consider 90s thrillers and horrors, it's hard to look past gems like Silence of the Lambs, Seven, Basic Instinct and who could forget the timeless chiller, Fatal Attraction? On the other end of the spectrum, however, we also regrettably recall movies like The Bone Collector, the atrocious Friday the 13th diabolique, as well as this very uninspired offering, Kiss the Girls.
Dull acting, dull dialogue, dull story and extremely dull lighting, are all included here in bucket loads. I'm usually a fan of Ashley Judd but she's given no opportunity at all to expand on her boring character and she even looks like she's stifling yawns constantly.
No thrills, no suspense, no excitement, this product is an extreme case of movie mismanagement from its creators and they should feel ashamed of themselves for thrusting Freeman and Judd into this mess, just for the sole purpose of using their names to cash in, completely neglecting any responsibility of providing the high quality production that they suitably deserve.
Dull acting, dull dialogue, dull story and extremely dull lighting, are all included here in bucket loads. I'm usually a fan of Ashley Judd but she's given no opportunity at all to expand on her boring character and she even looks like she's stifling yawns constantly.
No thrills, no suspense, no excitement, this product is an extreme case of movie mismanagement from its creators and they should feel ashamed of themselves for thrusting Freeman and Judd into this mess, just for the sole purpose of using their names to cash in, completely neglecting any responsibility of providing the high quality production that they suitably deserve.
The Dunes
(2021)
I might be going soft
24 November 2023
The Dunes is not everyone's cup of tea. It's rather slow, meandering story revolves around a writer who takes a break from journalism in Los Angeles, and returns to his home country Australia where he apparently lets out a residence that has been unpaid for by the current tennants for a period of time.
I say "apparently", because it gives the impression that this oversight of payments on the rental home is to be an important part of the story. However, it's actually not pursued at all and becomes a completely empty, dead-end element, that provides nothing more than confusion and annoyance.
But apart from this, the scenery is inviting and is the glue that keeps it all together and maintains interest most of the time, particularly in the first half of the movie, where not much happens. Things start to kick along and raise excitement levels in the second half and I didn't mind the simple script and acting, as it fits with the characters and the story, which becomes a cat and mouse type of psychological thriller of sorts, that doesn't quite build to anything memorable but is watchable nonetheless.
I say "apparently", because it gives the impression that this oversight of payments on the rental home is to be an important part of the story. However, it's actually not pursued at all and becomes a completely empty, dead-end element, that provides nothing more than confusion and annoyance.
But apart from this, the scenery is inviting and is the glue that keeps it all together and maintains interest most of the time, particularly in the first half of the movie, where not much happens. Things start to kick along and raise excitement levels in the second half and I didn't mind the simple script and acting, as it fits with the characters and the story, which becomes a cat and mouse type of psychological thriller of sorts, that doesn't quite build to anything memorable but is watchable nonetheless.
The Crossing
(2020)
You know it's a happy ending
15 November 2023
I don't usually go for movies like this, but the convincing young cast are more than capable of carrying the story, where 4 children embark on a treacherous journey to reach Sweden and escape the Nazis.
There's enough momentum and intriguing pieces to keep me interested and the more I got to know them, I wanted to find out if things would turn out well, which of course it does, being a tale that is made for young audiences and provides a warmth and assuredness, despite the bleak, snow laden landscape. It actually took me back to a novel, Master of the Grove, by Victor Kelleher, with its vivid imagery of an ice packed wilderness and isolation. As with that story, The Crossing includes sinister and helpful characters that they encounter along the way and there is always the feeling of uncertainty and danger, albeit given in a light manner despite their predicaments.
I would recommend this to children of all ages because of its generous display of comeraderie, compassion and bravery. And not a single mobile phone in sight! Yes!
There's enough momentum and intriguing pieces to keep me interested and the more I got to know them, I wanted to find out if things would turn out well, which of course it does, being a tale that is made for young audiences and provides a warmth and assuredness, despite the bleak, snow laden landscape. It actually took me back to a novel, Master of the Grove, by Victor Kelleher, with its vivid imagery of an ice packed wilderness and isolation. As with that story, The Crossing includes sinister and helpful characters that they encounter along the way and there is always the feeling of uncertainty and danger, albeit given in a light manner despite their predicaments.
I would recommend this to children of all ages because of its generous display of comeraderie, compassion and bravery. And not a single mobile phone in sight! Yes!
Forget Me Not
(II) (2009)
There's noticeable commitment here
10 November 2023
There's something endearing about this film that I, to this point, haven't been quite able to put my finger on how to explain, but I shall endeavour to find an answer during the course of writing this review.
Forget Me Not is a bit of an odd and jumbled offering, with the story not making a great deal of sense to me, mixed with some passionate acting and engaging script, along with some pretty cool visuals. It starts out like countless teen horrors before it and I really thought it was going to be another disappointing one, but I don't know how they managed to keep me interested - but they did - and I was impressed with the kill scenes and the rather spooky ghost/zombies, with their effectively unsettling facial features and wild bodily movements.
The scenes are shot in familiar, everyday kinds of settings and it all looks very simple and perhaps even unexciting, but I actually think through its reachable characters and locations, it successfully finds its audience and engages on an intimate level, which I have to say, was a complete shock to me, that this movie could be able to achieve such.
So, I guess the answer to why it was able to keep me interested, is its earnestness, thoughtfulness and its creativity through simplicity. With decent acting to carry us along willingly, coupled with an efficient script, Forget Me Not is not as forgettable as one may suppose.
Forget Me Not is a bit of an odd and jumbled offering, with the story not making a great deal of sense to me, mixed with some passionate acting and engaging script, along with some pretty cool visuals. It starts out like countless teen horrors before it and I really thought it was going to be another disappointing one, but I don't know how they managed to keep me interested - but they did - and I was impressed with the kill scenes and the rather spooky ghost/zombies, with their effectively unsettling facial features and wild bodily movements.
The scenes are shot in familiar, everyday kinds of settings and it all looks very simple and perhaps even unexciting, but I actually think through its reachable characters and locations, it successfully finds its audience and engages on an intimate level, which I have to say, was a complete shock to me, that this movie could be able to achieve such.
So, I guess the answer to why it was able to keep me interested, is its earnestness, thoughtfulness and its creativity through simplicity. With decent acting to carry us along willingly, coupled with an efficient script, Forget Me Not is not as forgettable as one may suppose.
The Lodge
(2019)
The sort of movie that gives dads a bad name
6 November 2023
The Lodge is a dark, lonely stretch, that definitely won't be liked my a lot of people. Myself, well, it's just too slow, and when it finally gets to its point, it feels very pointless.
I can appreciate where it's coming from. What being cut off from help, isolated in the snow driven widerness can do to people, especially when one of them, Grace, who is on medication for mental issues, is given the unenviable (not to mention illogical) responsibility of looking after two kids, while Richard, their father, simply leaves them all to fend for themselves, in a mountain lodge, far from civilization.
Not only is it crazy to leave Grace to such a task, Richard takes the only motorised vehicle with him, while he tends to other apparently more important duties in the city. I mean what is that about? Why drive them all out there and just dump them and take off? As well, the two kids, Aiden and Mia both hate Grace for reasons we don't really know, except for the fact that she is moving in to replace their Mum after she shockingly shoots herself in the head at the start of the movie. I'm left to assume that their mother finds out Richard is having an affair with Grace and this is the reason for her suicide. Which in itself, doesn't make a lot of sense, that a mother would just desert her own children in this way.
So, what unfolds is a situation where the two kids decide to exact mental damage on Grace, by stealing her medication, burying her belongings in the snow, where she later finds them, letting her dog out to freeze to death, which it indeed does, as well as trick Grace into thinking they are all dead, all for the purpose of sending her around the twist and basically making her totally lose sense of reality.
This is all sounds like a brilliant idea at the time, until Grace becomes so disturbed and dissociated that she turns on the kids, as well as their father upon his eventual return to the lodge, and the end result is not particularly pleasant for all involved.
I think they had some really good ideas in which to make an effectively true to the genre movie, but the way it's all constructed and worked through is largely a collection of missed opportunities. The foundations are all there - the isolated house, the mental case carer, the two vulnerable kids - but even though the acting is good and the settings give it potential, it falls pretty far down and doesn't meet its expectations.
I can appreciate where it's coming from. What being cut off from help, isolated in the snow driven widerness can do to people, especially when one of them, Grace, who is on medication for mental issues, is given the unenviable (not to mention illogical) responsibility of looking after two kids, while Richard, their father, simply leaves them all to fend for themselves, in a mountain lodge, far from civilization.
Not only is it crazy to leave Grace to such a task, Richard takes the only motorised vehicle with him, while he tends to other apparently more important duties in the city. I mean what is that about? Why drive them all out there and just dump them and take off? As well, the two kids, Aiden and Mia both hate Grace for reasons we don't really know, except for the fact that she is moving in to replace their Mum after she shockingly shoots herself in the head at the start of the movie. I'm left to assume that their mother finds out Richard is having an affair with Grace and this is the reason for her suicide. Which in itself, doesn't make a lot of sense, that a mother would just desert her own children in this way.
So, what unfolds is a situation where the two kids decide to exact mental damage on Grace, by stealing her medication, burying her belongings in the snow, where she later finds them, letting her dog out to freeze to death, which it indeed does, as well as trick Grace into thinking they are all dead, all for the purpose of sending her around the twist and basically making her totally lose sense of reality.
This is all sounds like a brilliant idea at the time, until Grace becomes so disturbed and dissociated that she turns on the kids, as well as their father upon his eventual return to the lodge, and the end result is not particularly pleasant for all involved.
I think they had some really good ideas in which to make an effectively true to the genre movie, but the way it's all constructed and worked through is largely a collection of missed opportunities. The foundations are all there - the isolated house, the mental case carer, the two vulnerable kids - but even though the acting is good and the settings give it potential, it falls pretty far down and doesn't meet its expectations.
GoldenEye
(1995)
Pierce Brosnan brings back the bang
2 November 2023
It's really great to see Brosnan step in to give new life to Bond, providing a much needed injection of energy, panache and even some believability thrown in the mix, delivering an exciting ride with plenty of great action.
There's a tongue in cheek kind of humour that keeps this movie rolling between action scenes and the cast look as though they're having a great time, sinking their teeth into their roles. The audio is pretty spectacular and so are the action scenes, with plenty of clever and entertaining pieces. I've always been a fan of Brosnan and I think he's one of the best Bonds, at least up until his inception. He doesn't have the toughness of Daniel Craig, but he's got a bucket load more personality and charisma. Not to say he isn't athletic - far from it - his movements are slick and precise, just as we'd invisage Bond to be, unlike say, Roger Moore, who always looked as though he'd overeaten at lunch. As well, this Bond displays greater depth of character, which I thought was great, seeing him show more emotion.
Overall, it's a welcome addition to the Bond series and fans will have had a good time watching it.
There's a tongue in cheek kind of humour that keeps this movie rolling between action scenes and the cast look as though they're having a great time, sinking their teeth into their roles. The audio is pretty spectacular and so are the action scenes, with plenty of clever and entertaining pieces. I've always been a fan of Brosnan and I think he's one of the best Bonds, at least up until his inception. He doesn't have the toughness of Daniel Craig, but he's got a bucket load more personality and charisma. Not to say he isn't athletic - far from it - his movements are slick and precise, just as we'd invisage Bond to be, unlike say, Roger Moore, who always looked as though he'd overeaten at lunch. As well, this Bond displays greater depth of character, which I thought was great, seeing him show more emotion.
Overall, it's a welcome addition to the Bond series and fans will have had a good time watching it.
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