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Humane (2024)
Worse movie i have seen in 2024 so far
I dont write reviews often, but i just had to warn people not to waste their time with this failed production.
If you just believe the silly plot of people volunteering to be euthanized (its more probable people would riot and a civil war would break down, than people to comply), this is just a bad movie overall.
I absolutely hated every character in this movie. At one point i was just rooting for a random security guard.
Everyone is dumb as bricks. Especially Noah that gets betrayed twice and still trusts them.
Also everyone is a superhuman, they get stabed multiple times, one of them in the neck, and still function properly.
Noah doesnt need a cane anymore and by the end of the movie walks normaly.
No idea how they all survive by the end without getting into trouble, but hey who needs logic?
The acting is atrocious, thats all.
I regret the 90 minutes i wasted on this film.
Argylle (2024)
Hideous plot, terrible cgi, awfully long
Why was this movie made? Was there a point to it? The plot is so weak its mindblowing. Huge plot holes along the way. God awful cgi that makes your eyes bleed.
Even if you disregard anything else and see it knowing its a fun spy movie that doesnt take itself seriously, it fails so hard because its sooooo long. Every scene drags on for no apparent reason.
Please dont waste you hard earned money for this garbage. Literally 0 effort went into making this movie. Everything is so dumb your iq will drop several points after watching it. If you want a good funny spy movie, for the love of god go watch spy (2015). Not this hot garbage.
Sisu (2022)
What in the actual f???????
I have seen my fair share of dumb movies, where you might have to switch some brain cells off and enjoy. But usually they have at least something of quality. Might be the dialogue, might be the plot, might be the cinematography.
This movie offers absolutely nothing. Its just rambo with godlike powers (he cant drown, he cant hang, bullets that hit him have no effect) versus a bunch of dumb soldiers.
Plot is horrible, the acting is atrocious, cinematography is weak, dialog is nonexistent.
The only thing entertaining is the exposition of who our hero is that lasted 30 seconds. Cliche but entertaining.
I wish i never saw this horrible production.
365 dni (2020)
Cringefest monstrosity.
Honestly i ditched this garbage 20 min in. Everyone is a walking stereotype. You have the female bad ass lead, who im guessing will have very explicit scenes with that guy. You have the buffoon boyfriend who wears cargo shorts to his girlfriends birthday. - No way in hell they would be a couple in real life btw. And you have the "bad guy" that you cringe every time you see him on screen. Also he assaults women apparently and they like it, like that flight attendant.
I have watched better acting in bang bus movies. Where do they find these "actors"? Every time they open their mouths you just laugh and how crap their acting is.
Then comes the editing, in 15 min you have 2 over extended scenes with some B grade song playing loudly in the background. Sigh.
I have no clue about the plot, but apparently the female gets kidnapped and then falls in love with the bad guy. Sigh...Who writes this stuff?? The idea of it is just terrifying.
I really hope Polish cinematography is better than this soft core offensive garbage.
Exam (2009)
Wannabe smart movie, but fails miserably.
The movie takes itself way too seriously, thus transforming into a goldmine of laughs. Premise is absurd, but the worse part is the writing and the acting. My god its awful. Its like everyone has their 5 minutes of spotlight where they become the main character, then step back to the shadows for another one to take his place. The handshake at the end was oscar worthy though. /s
I wouldnt advise to watch it but if you do sit back and expect to laugh at how bad this production is.
X (2022)
Hilariously awful
People rating this 9 and 10. Did we watch the same movie? Its a hilariously bad slasher. Just the premise of it is enough to stay away from it. 6 adults get terrorized and murdered by a couple 90 year olds that can barely move. Yeah you read that right. Imagine not knocking out a 90 year old that moves with the speed of a turtle. Waste of time.
Furie (2019)
Non sensical
Since the beginning it does not make sense. In what universe you cant go into your own house because you signed a tenant agreement. High school drama with adults. The ending was somehow even worse. Not recommended.
Deep Water (2022)
Slow, useless burn
Almost 2 hours long, it gives no satisfaction. Stuff make no sense, plotholes and generally feels like alot of scenes were taken out. For example we have no clue why their relationship is not terminated and they both still are together.
Not a good movie.
No Exit (2022)
Textbook cliche
Started interesting and i thought it would be some type of mind games movie to find out who the bad guy is. But the plot unfolded pretty quick and turned into a action packed movie. Main character has plot armor, makes non logical decisions, and the bad guy is dumb. Kinda waste of time as a movie.
Bajo cero (2021)
World's most incompetent cops
Disaster movie. Every cop is a total buffoon. Starting from the small police car that accelerates leaving the main truck behind, the moustache guy that goes out to his death and the main protagonist who is as blant as a whiteboard. Who needs emergency plans right? They just accept their fates. And the whole system is a joke. Who cares about a truck full of prisoners that hasn't made any contact. We search tomorrow.
Plot is full of holes too. Such a disappointment from the main actor. I have liked his other movies but this one was garbage.
Sex Tape (2014)
Good start, horrible follow up
It is a very graphic comedy that had its moments. The first half was actually watchable, but after the mansion part it got really awful really fast. Things made no sense, not funny comedy and an ending so bad i regreted my time watching this movie.
Harry Potter 20th Anniversary: Return to Hogwarts (2022)
What a waste
Feels like a fake special episode. All and all it was brief meetings and actors patting themselves in the back. The main cast acting all fake and stiff.
Not a real reunion, just fake marketing.
And finally, how dare you give Alan Rickman, the backbone of this franchise a mere 10 seconds of mentioning? Shame on you!
The Witcher (2019)
So bad...
I entered with a clean mind, not expecting to see a 1:1 book adaptation and i still ditched it half way. Cringe characters, cringe dialogue, absolutely no storyline, bad cgi, incoherent storytelling. The characters speak like they are in a movie trailer and they are all one dimensional.
There is no concept of time and location. Characters seem to teleport from one place to another. The writing is atrocious. Everyone just yells the F word randomly because its just edgy.
It was never a story of us vs them. Never a story about good vs evil. Everyone had complex traits and agenda which they threw out of the window.
As a standalone fantasy series i would give it a solid 5/10. But when you decide to carry the name of an already established world and mess it up like this, you deserve to be called out. I would give it a 0 if i could. Straight to VHS.
Tu hijo (2018)
Disappointing Movie
The premise was good, but eventually the movie suffers from dragged out scenes, huge plot holes and an ending so bad i regret my time spent on it.
I understand that its an artistic style to drag out scenes, but you can only show so many times a guy watching out of his car window for 2 minutes straight, or 2 minutes of walking, or 2 minutes of thinking. It got really annoying really fast. Eventually i had to fast forward because the plot wasnt moving at all.
Huge plot holes. After getting the smartphone of the kid he didnt think to share the video on whatsapp or social media, instead he just kept touching it for not to get it locked. Cmon, he is in his mid 50s, no 90 years old and doesnt know how technology works.
The police is useless. Even after presenting evidence, they dont look at it "without a judge order". Fine, but at least listen to the man and go get that order. You have all you need there. Open and shut case.
I didnt like any of the characters. They dont make logical moves and act like robots (the only exception is the daughter i guess). Everyone else is dumb as bricks. Yeah, go in a revenge crusade without knowing all the details, while your son is still fighting for his life. Then after you know what he has done, you too are without morals and do the wrong thing. Sigh.
The ending was just sad, no closure nothing. Weakest point. 3 stars only because the cinematography is good.
The Invitation (2015)
Interesting but non sensical
Any logical human would ditch this "party" 15 min in when ghe host lockdd the door. Also why is everyone so calm?? Are they on valium, or just plain blind?
Free Guy (2021)
The only good thing was Ryan Reynolds
That man is a comedic genius, there is no doubt. Even when he is handled a shitty cringefest script.
Interesting concept but horrible, HORRIBLE execution.
Mumbo jumbo about coding and AI.
0 idea about how games work. Im talking about how online servers work, how always online works, how lobbies and missions work.
Throwing around techscene and gaming scene words so often, without actually knowing the meaning. Ex: troll.
The absolute cringe having streamers act in your movie.
Plot is so weak and tiresome. I swear i got tired and thought this movie was more than 2 hours, then i checked my watch and only 1h20m had passed.
Weak characters. Didnt like anyone except R. R.
The main villain is such a weak and annoying character.
Such an unnecessary love story at the end.
How it shows that this movie was made by boomers wanting some of that gaming bread.
Tldr: cringe.
Baywatch (2017)
Cringe.
What a waste of Zac Efron. You want him to make him a dumb guy like in the news report on the tv or a cool sarcastic guy like in the rest of the movie? Make up your mind!
Cringe dick jokes that go on for too long. God i hated that guy that he got stuck in the beach chair.
It only had a couple of funny smart moments that were breaking the 4th wall, but thats about it.
What a horrible written comedy. Not recommended.
El bar (2017)
Started good and went downhill to rock bottom
Comedy, where? Logic, where? Started as an incredible idea but deevolved to a horrible production. Characters dont make sense, plotholes every step on the way and in the end we get no pay off. Everything that is happening is based upon vague discussions, assumptions and a dead guys text messages. What a waste.
Risen (2021)
Interesting idea, butchered execution
What was the budget of this movie? 2 bananas and half an onion?
- CGI was made from an unpaid intern
- Absolutely horrible acting
- Not likeable characters. Seriously i couldn't care less for any of them
- Everyone is a moron in this movie, starting from the scientists, military and the whole world.
- Good pacing? What is that?
- Dragged out because the director liked to see the characters either talk to themselves, not talk at all or wait 3 minutes for an answer.
- Horrible, HORRIBLE exposition
- What is with the overused melodramatic soundtrack every 5 minutes?
The only reason it doesn't get 1 star is because the idea was interesting. I feel this could have been a magical 60 min short film if it had the right execution.
Escape Room: Tournament of Champions (2021)
Offensively bad
6.0? Really?!
This one was a trainreck. I kinda enjoyed the first movie even though it was pretty dumb, but this one takes it to the next level.
The plot is so bad to the point it doesnt make any sense. The acting reminds me of those low budget D grade movies. Everyone i wailing through the entire movie to the point you have to mute your TV. The level design is horrendous and its made just to kill off all the people one by one. Everything happens so fast not even einstein would be lucky enough to get the clues. The characters dont talk like normal human beings but like scripted caricatures. There is also a dumb plot twist at the end that i couldnt care less.
Waste of time and a pretty unnecessary sequel.
Army of the Dead (2021)
Is there a limit on how dumb a movie can be?
I have seen my fair shair of stupid movies with stupid characters and a plot that does not make sense. But oh boy this one must be close to the top. 2 and a half hours of my life i will never get back.
Neighbors (2014)
Pretty funny
Great comedy that doesnt take itself seriously. Warm hearted and had its moments. Watch it with a few friends, kick back and enjoy it.
Cube (1997)
Interesting movie, cheap ending
The concept is interesting. Rooms are fine. Math starts ok and becomes difficult to follow in the end. Acting was meh and towards the end the characters started to make no sense on their actions.
Worst part was the ending. A very cheap and horrible one. Also it does not explain anything.
Yes you should see it because its a cult classic, but dont expect a masterpiece.
Circle (2015)
Started interestingly, huge dissapointment in the end
The idea behind it was pretty solid, and the movie started pretty good. Unfortunately after the first half quality dropped quickly. Bad acting, decisions that made no sense, allaiances that make no sense in real life and an ending so bad i felt extremely cheated.
How do they even make decisions based on leadership? At one point the "leaders" were negotiating about trading votes like they had control over the other players. Ridiculous. I swear it just got laughable.
The ending was so bad i said to myself why did i waste my time with this movie. Yes the twist was interesting but we get no catharsis and no explanation about what really happened or happens next. Just some bad cgi.
Not worth your time.
In the Tall Grass (2019)
Yelling, grass and yelling
Started extremely interesting and slowly descented into a boring slow motion, filler plans, repeating scenes and yelling. I feel like it could be a good 40 min movie but instead it drags on forever with just screams and grass shots. Sheesh.
P.s: Grass.