hellrider Reviews

Citizen Toxie: The Toxic Avenger IV (2000)

Not a patch on the first three... And worse... No Phoebe!

[4/10 · 16 September 2003]

I watched this because of the same reason I watched the first three, they were on basically... I love 1, 2, and 3 but did not enjoy much of this at all. I'm not going to go down a list of things i liked and disliked, but will point out a few things. First I thought it was offensive (more because of the acting than the way the disabled were treated). Second, I thought it was a little too much like I thought the first three were going to be like (basically soft porn). Third, Too much of everything except the two things I wanted: Violence and humour. And finally, the fact they said at the beginning this was the true sequel to the first film, even though it pales in comparison to the films that came before.

Oh... And what were Lemmy AND Stan Lee thinking!?!?!?

The Toxic Avenger Part II (1989)

oooooh, phoebe I love you

[9/10 · 16 September 2003]

As with the first and third films in the toxic avenger series, I loved it. I'm not really sure why, but I found myself enjoying this more than I probably should have. Again like the 1st and 3rd it's silly, mad, daft, and pointless... but who cares! Whoever said films had to be anything more than an entertaining way to kill time is lying. Films don't have to make you think. So It's not exactly going to win awards, but that shouldn't matter. See the first three films in the series and laugh at the things you should and shouldn't and enjoy each for their ability to be completely deranged.

The Toxic Avenger Part III: The Last Temptation of Toxie (1989)

Phoebe again!!!

[9/10 · 16 September 2003]

As i've said in my reviews for the first two films, you can't take these films and compare them to a "classic" as thats not the point. I don't normally like cheesey films but found the first three to be laugh out load funny. Maybe i've a screw loose but I just think they're great. Again, i'm not going to give the plot out because I don't feel like it. And i'm not going to say whats good and whats bad (mostly because I couldn't think of anything bad). If you really aren't bothered about the film, watch it and point out the continuity and poor acting. If you don't watch to enjoy or nitpick, watch for Phoebe (oh phoebe). She is by far too talented to be in a film like this but boy does she look good. Basically, just watch the film... You might not like it, but it's only a film.

The Toxic Avenger (1984)

Good film

[8/10 · 16 September 2003]

Sorry, couldn't think of a summary. Anyway, I wasn't sure what this film was going to be like as i'd never seen it or the sequels until a recent Troma film season on Sky. I thought the film was great to cut a pointless story short. The jokes were really daft and the whole film was silly (for a lack of a better word). I think the version I saw was cut as there was no way that it was 18 certificate worthy.

I'm not going to go into plot details as i'm sure the other reviews will do a better job than me, so all I will say is to anyone who's thinks this film will be too offensive, don't worry, it's not.

Grand Theft Auto III (2001 Video Game)

I love this game!

[10/10 · 3 November 2001]

It is the most fun I've had playing a game for a long time. It's also one of the funniest games I've played, with references to other games, films and the like).

There are three parts of one big city (called Liberty city) and they are representations of a semi-real city with the first part being the dock, a china town, red light district and general industrial buildings. The second area is a bussiness district and looks vastly different (with less trucks,vans, etc and more land-rover like vehicles and sports cars). The third area is the more rural part with an airport and an observatory. Each part of the city has hundreds (if not thousands) of pedestrians who react differently to what happens. If you blow up a car (crashing it too many times or otherwise) don't be surprised if you see people rushing over to it and checking the wreckage. If you kill someone, wait around and eventually an ambulance will arrive to try and save them, which, if you steal one, you can save people as well (you don't have to kill all the time) and this in itself rewards you after you have saved a certain amount of lives (same with killing people as a vigilante, getting fares in a taxi, and putting out fires in a fire engine).

The missions are brilliantly structured, and complete-able in a manner of different ways. But the brilliance of the game is not for this reason alone-it is also very open ended. If you don't want to do a mission just yet, don't. Steal a taxi and collect fares. Don't fancy that? Nick A police car and become a vigilante. Or you could just go on a killing spree (although the police, swat, and eventually F.B.I and the army will stop at NOTHING to either kill or arrest you). The choices are endless, and the benefits are many.

To summarise: I love this game!!! And I think you would to.

If you are not easily offended and you have A PS2, buy this game. If you have A PC buy it next summer (when it's released). In all honesty, I would say that this game is worth the price of the Playstation 2 and should be at least played by everyone.

I give it 10 out of 10.

Final Fantasy IX (2000 Video Game)

More fantasy a person can handle

[9/10 · 31 May 2001]

WOW!!! this games rocks! although plot wise it's not as strong as seven, it more than makes up for this with (in my opinion) far superior gameplay. the magic and physical attacks are equally useful, and the introduction of character classes (white mage, black mage, thief, glutton, knight) is drastic improvement over the other playstation exclusive fantasy's. The final fantasy's are my favourite games on the playstation, and this did not disappoint. The ending has to be seen to do it justice (the same for the last two games for that matter). In one word: Brilliant!

Final Fantasy VIII (1999 Video Game)

The weakest of the playstation games

[8/10 · 31 May 2001]

Ok that's a bit unfair, but out of seven, eight, and nine it just isn't as good as the other two. I found the plot to be pretty involving but i can't say the same for the magic system which i found to be useless (the magic doesn't do anywhere enough damage). However this is really the only fault with it.

Final Fantasy VII (1997 Video Game)

Why is this game Soo good?

[10/10 · 31 May 2001]

I have to ask myself this question because when i first played it i got stuck at the midgar zolem (which put me off the game as i was so frustrated). However since then i have given up at different points in the game, completed it three times and i STILL come back for more. this game is fantastic!!! if you haven't played it then i strongly suggest you give it a go.

Last Action Hero (1993)

The best Schwartzenegger film i've seen!

[10/10 · 31 May 2001]

Except of course the Terminater film's, this is his best work yet! From the brilliant injokes("i'll be back! HA! you didn't know i was going to say that! you always say that! i do? yeah, it's like your calling card"). the numerous cameo's. This film has it all. how and why this film was/is slated i'll never understand. But one thing for certain, there isn't a funnier action movie around.

Army of Darkness (1992)

Hail to the king, baby!

[10/10 · 31 May 2001]

I first saw this film in about 1995 and after i saw i wanted (nay, needed) to see this film again. And i did. And now i have two copies of it on tape one with the "oh no, i slept too long!" ending and one with the "Hail to the king, baby" ending. I still can't make up which one i prefer. So i keep watching it until i can safely say which i prefer. This film has it all: a gorgeous lead female (Embeth Davitz), brilliant one-liners, humour aplenty and, of course, the greatest actor of all time, none other than... Bruce Campbell. The man is a genius!!! So to sum it up... Buy it, watch it and love it.

This Is Spinal Tap (1984)

I would have voted "11"

[10/10 · 31 May 2001]

How can people dislike this? It's funnier than the funniest comedian, beaten to within in an inch of his life with a funny stick! There are so many parts of this film that are great i'm never going to be able to do it justice by trying to summarise the best parts (it's brilliant throughout). definitely a film worthy of 11.