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Xavier_Stone
My ratings distribution is a bell curve.
Ratings
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Reviews
The Fall Guy (2024)
2 hours of stunts mixed with a bit of romcom
This is overly long and the schtick gets old really fast. Most of the audience will tire of watching silly characters spewing childish dialogue over and over then popping in a stunt here and there to fill the voids.
Some of the stunts are good, but the overall movie is just a poor vision to highlight the stunt man job. It was frustrating to watch such silly characters even more when I like the actors.
Mostly a childish movie. 3/10 for the stunts, not much else.
This is overly long and the schtick gets old really fast. Most of the audience will tire of watching silly characters spewing childish dialogue over and over then popping in a stunt here and there to fill the voids.
Some of the stunts are good, but the overall movie is just a poor vision to highlight the stunt man job. It was frustrating to watch such silly characters even more when I like the actors.
Mostly a childish movie. 3/10 for the stunts, not much else.
Take Five (2013)
Simple story, bumbling clowns on a budget of under $50k. Poor
I like heist films, this one is a bad one. Let's start with the super simple back story, gather a misfit bunch of guys and the easy peasy break into a vault through the sewers.
Not much to keep the audience's attention in this one. Mostly we just watch these guys fumble around time after time. There's a few more characters that really don't add anything to the story, but because it's so simple to begin with.
There is zero tension in this, which is a must for any crime movie. Perhaps the writer/director is used to creating soap opera dramas or something. This is all around a struggle to watch, and the budget is less than the cost of a mid range auto.
The only thing you'll learn watching this, is that a movie can be made for the bare minimum. Heck, I've seen bar tabs with a bigger budget.
Civil War (2024)
The trailer has all of the 10 minutes of action
This movie is abysmal. Really. I don't know how any of people reviewing can overlook such a boring film which is basically a Walking Dead episode. A group of journalists are driving to DC. That's it. A road trip.
The trailer makes it look like there are Texas and California factions fighting against each other. Heck, there's even military jets flying over. Classic bait and switch, the title is very misleading, but of course if it was labeled War Photography nobody would watch it.
Most of the characters are simple, the dialogue is the bare minimum and there is nothing really done to explain anything. This is a tv episode expanded and nothing more. 1/10, utter trash.
Parish (2024)
It just doesn't work
Creator Sunu Gonera is getting his first television show all to himself and it just continually falls flat. The first thing you'll notice is the frequent music score, and it is just over bearing loud and mostly annoying. Then once you start watching the simple high school simple dialogue is just too predictable.
The opening scene and the usual cut back to "7 days earlier" is just getting old with shows in a lame attempt to keep us watching and spoils any mystery.
As we find out more about the central family the obvious poor father tropes show up. Even the toilet paper piece when he cuts himself shaving. Ugh.
The gangster scene is just poor. I like Esposito and he was amazing in Breaking Bad, but here he is just tasked to carry the whole show and nobody else helps out.
I like the New Orleans setting, but the story is sub par. The heist itself is good, albeit 4 minutes worth. Then the episode ends with an after the heist meeting.
Not much of anything of substance here, 3/10, I'll watch one more but I think it'll all fall apart as it will be just all post heist drama, and the gangster group arguing amongst themselves.
I really wanted to like this, but it's just low hanging fruit created by a guy with limited film and writing experience which is expected, no surprises here.
American Rust: Homecoming (2024)
Absolute Garbage
So here we have Jeff trying to get back in with his vigilante police unit and gets sent in to do a deed. And he just shows up and points a gun, and that's called a pass. Really??? Who wrote this? Some high school kid? Cause that only works in high school.
Remember these are guys who purposely sent in people asking him about previous incidents. They put a lot of effort into re-vetting him and his background.
But somehow he gets a pass without firing a shot. And of course he's wearing a wire under his jacket and easily exposed. GTFO.
As far as the rest of the show, mostly drama and updates from the time spent between the seasons.
1/10 for this. You can't spend so much time on this cop drama and have it just crumble upon any examination.
Anna (2013)
Interesting start, falls apart rather quickly
Mark Strong carries this movie and he has a very heavy load. The mystery mind memory thing only gets so far until the view starts to think that something is up and the mystery is gone.
The plot is rather straight forward and the detective skills here are rudimentary at best. Even the most basic things are overlooked until the very end.
Not much of a payoff ending, rather predictable. The real mystery here is how this project was approved when the story is so mediocre and elementary.
Not much else to say. Not the earth shattering mind meld all the high rating reviewers are saying it is. Perhaps if you've seen less than a dozen films this is interesting, otherwise pass.
Population: 11 (2024)
Tough to watch
I made it until the end of the second episode and had to bail. Nothing interesting and it seems almost like a Seinfeld show where it prides itself on making entire episodes about silly nonsensical stuff.
There was an idea here somewhere and then it just peters out fast. Bumbling around and all of the characters get tiresome really fast. Not much else to say. If you make it as far as I did then you know what you're in for. Even this show doesn't deserve 600 chars explaining how bad it is.
I made it until the end of the second episode and had to bail. Nothing interesting and it seems almost like a Seinfeld show where it prides itself on making entire episodes about silly nonsensical stuff.
There was an idea here somewhere and then it just peters out fast. Bumbling around and all of the characters get tiresome really fast. Not much else to say. If you make it as far as I did then you know what you're in for. Even this show doesn't deserve 600 chars explaining how bad it is.
3 Body Problem (2024)
Condensed version, unfulfilled as expected with D&D.
I got hooked on the official Chinese program last year and after several episodes it stalled out and I started skipped ahead, which only made it worse. I think there was 4-5 episodes of the video game and I just couldn't be bothered. Then it got so out of hand I gave up and didn't finish.
This American version looked promising from the previews, until I found out that the D&D guys that butchered the Game of Thrones series are behind this. The guys who just winged the last season of a great story, zero thinking and created the worst final season in the history of television. So yeah, there is going to be parts that absolutely make no sense so I'm prepared.
I finished it and it's a decent watch. As other reviews have pointed out the casting is poor, female strong leads and bumbling men are standard as per 2020 Netflix. The dialogue is sub par with lots of buzz words. Lots of drama like a Friends episode. A few plot holes that just don't make sense which is expected with D&D running the show.
It could have been really good, but these two guys just don't have the skills to make something anything better than average. I'm sure that they are wealthy enough from GoT, but they'll never get any awards.
When you have an entire book series as a baseline, plus a popular Chinese television version of it for 30+ episodes it seems like you should be able to just pick out the good parts, summarize and edit. All of the heavy lifting, writing and creating is already done.
I'm confident that D&D couldn't even remake Bambi to make it interesting and watchable. 5/10. Lots of chit chat and drama between the interesting scenes. Heck we even have time to chat about a goldfish.
Land of Bad (2024)
Tons of logic flaws, but decent action
It could have been much better if the writers had done just a tiny bit of research on how drone operators work and the military in general. Loads of flaws and naive soldiers becoming supermen in a few hours of combat.
Overall it's a good action flick but you need to not use your brain to do any thinking. Somewhat predictable and at times entirely not believable.
Not much else to say, Russell and Helmsworth are ok and average. Don't expect too much and you'll find it a good watch.
It could have been much better if the writers had done just a tiny bit of research on how drone operators work and the military in general. Loads of flaws and naive soldiers becoming supermen in a few hours of combat.
Overall it's a good action flick but you need to not use your brain to do any thinking. Somewhat predictable and at times entirely not believable.
Not much else to say, Russell and Helmsworth are ok and average. Don't expect too much and you'll find it a good watch.
Apples Never Fall (2024)
This is a daytime soap opera series, zero payoff. Avoid
There are a few talented actors in this and they should know better after reading the script. Nothing happens, and we are just watching a family drama for 7 episodes of an hour each. This is just really all filler.
I watched the first episode waiting for something to happen and nothing really does. A mystery woman shows up to freeload off of a rich family and nobody asks any questions or gets any answers.
It was starting to get frustrating so I skipped ahead to the ending and I'm glad I did, there is no reason to make this drag out for so long. It's exactly like a soap opera, with new drama coming out each hour and then resolved only to open up a different drama conflict.
1/10. Avoid. It feels like you're being deliberately mislead.
Constellation: Paul Is Dead (2024)
Baby wipes??!!##>>
I guess it had to happen sooner or later, an unbelievable scene to make everything else that's so outlandish seem normal. But baby wipes to fill a crack in the glass? Unreal.
I guess the writers are really just out of any ideas, and have no idea how anything is supposed to work. Jumping from timeline to timeline, quick character interactions and then some flashbacks. Lol.
Perhaps if you spent a long enough time plotting everything out or are really invested in this you can keep watching, I just can't and have to stop now.
Sure there was some cool dual universe theory in the beginning but the writers have rehashed and rehashed that same idea for ages now. It doesn't make for an interesting show.
Can't do anymore and I'm out. When your space drama continually focuses on the child actors perhaps you've lost your way.
Damsel (2024)
Millie is a warrior now, I guess
Pretty lame right off the bat with a limited cast. I guess they used all of their budget on the cgi for the Dragon instead of a decent story or characters.
Tons of plot errors and a straight forward simple revenge story. Not much in the way of a cast here, kingdoms of people and yet we only see about 20 in any one scene. The set designer could have done the whole movie in my garage it's so tiny.
Millie is a decent actress but she's not a UFC fighter that she portrays here. Other characters are average but the dialogue is too simple to take seriously.
Poor writing, poor story, ok cgi so 3/10 for that.
The Gentlemen (2024)
Rather dissapointing the more it goes on
Guy Ritchie can do some good films, but this is just drawn out twists and turns in which characters don't seem to make any sense. They're angry, betrayed then 20 mins later everything is forgiven only to be betrayed 10 mins later and repeat.
It gets old fast. The last few episodes are annoying at best with the ending being absolute garbage. The actors are decent enough but the scenes are just terrible and the entire plot/story is just not that entertaining.
So much promise after the pilot episode, but it just gets worse and worse with the audience mostly shaking their heads at the steps along the way. 4/10. Could have been done so much better with the budget and actors involved. Seems like it was a movie that was stretched out to 8 episodes of 40 minutes each. Tons of filler.
The Regime (2024)
Possibly the worst television in the last 5yrs
Unlike some of the other reviewers here, I actually liked the Mare of Easttown for a bit, interesting and watchable.
This is something completely different and is just so over the top it's hard fathom who the intended audience is. We have an entitled political leader and maybe it's a dark comedy or something, but not really.
I watched 5 mins, then quickly skipped ahead, watched another 5 minutes and so on. This was painful and I couldn't even remain engaged for any longer before skipping ahead in hope of finding something interesting.
I can't recommend this to anyone, anywhere, even 80yo British ladies won't like this, which seems to be their target audience.
I spent nearly 20 mins watching/skipping and to do any more is clearly just punishing oneself.
The Call (2013)
Good start, bad middle, trash ending
The tension was good for the first part of the movie with setting up 911 operator scenes and detailing the call center and the people who work there. The middle was a bit of a stretch and the writers mostly did everything they could to drag it out.
This is written by limited experience writers with an equally mediocre director, and it shows. No coherent thinking on how to make the scenes flow together. The cops can't find a car when it's called in although a concerned citizen has no problem.
It just goes off the rails and they have to stretch it out. Then the ending has something of a superhero vibe of a female operator turned private detective with an amazing ability to find the perpetrator's house when cops have no clue. Then she investigates the place alone and finds some sort of proof and a motive of sorts. And then she wanders around on an acreage and finds the secret hide out in under 5 minutes and fights the villain unarmed no less.
Utter garbage.
With several seasoned actors in this, I have to ask. When you read a script this bad and it gets greenlit how do you go through the motions knowing that it's bad? God sakes, have some respect for yourselves. 2/10 for the first 20 mins.
Constellation: The Left Hand of God (2024)
Wow, this show takes a nosedive
Let's just start off by saying kids and serious space productions are a bad mix. Whatever simple exposition you gain by having to explain complex ideas to a child you lose by having it dumbed down to the simplest idea and add in kid drama.
The child actor in this show is a driving force and central character, and it gets old fast. From the nagging/whining/screaming maybe they should have thought about trimming up the focus a bit, it's not mean as an after school special.
As for the grown up ideas and different time lines, it just gets bizarre quickly. Zero accountability from actions in the previous episode on the cruise ship. More science talk of explaining and re-explaining superposition particles to yet another professor. It's getting old.
Then lets add that the husband is seeing someone else. Then lets also add in that the wife astronaut is also having an affair, and of course can't remember.
This show jumped the shark already. God Awful. I didn't sign on for. I checked the writers, and one of them wrote Nip/Tuck, which seems about right. Maybe it's the Real Housewives of Nasa.
1/10 on this garbage episode. I'm done, can't stand it anymore. Rehash space science stuff for 10mins, and fill in the rest with drama and kids.
Code 8: Part II (2024)
Wasted potential, why make a sequel with a poor story?
After the first Code 8 was largely disappointing I was hoping for a better outcome with this one, especially since it has been 5 years.
I would think with that much time a good coherent story would be possible, especially with the foundation already set. Nope.
Here we have multiple mutant characters vs the evil police force and we can't seem to get anything going. Some little girl has powers and of course needs to be saved. Nothing new at all here. Bad mutants vs good mutants, as usual.
So many possibilities and they resort to an X-men story that's been done over and over? Even with the attempting to save a wounded mutant, self sacrifice mutant and good and bad mutants joining up.
You can watch the movie at 4x speed as the dialogue isn't needed. The writers and the director have only really done 4-6 films, 2 of them this Code 8 stuff so their lack of experience is obvious.
Absolutely paint by numbers, abc movie. 2/10 for some good robots and CGI. Nothing more. Bland second half, lame ending.
Shôgun (2024)
Well overhyped, good with flaws
I was looking forward to this but after watching half of the pilot I was starting to wonder how everyone else is giving this 10 stars? I finished and read some online reviews and the endless praising is unwarranted. The Netflix series Marco Polo had one of the highest production costs for it's first season and I was hoping for the same quality here, sadly that's not the case.
The writing is simple which is to be expected as it's mostly English subtitles. The musical score is abysmal, the usual background tension drums when anything new or a serious scene is presented. It actually takes away from the scene instead of enhances it. In good television background music goes mostly unnoticed, here it gets annoyingly bad.
There are loads of characters which is fine and this pilot is mostly building the world and setting the stage. It's not anything that's out of the ordinary, absolutely amazing storytelling here.
The action is minimal and CGI is used to showcase crowd scenes and overhead drone shots.
It's 6/10 for the pilot. Maybe a few more shows it'll get better. It's definitely not Marco Polo quality, although it's good enough to keep watching. Perhaps after years of garbage television everyone is just overly excited to watch something decent.
Constellation (2024)
Great start, then starts to fade a bit
I binged the first 3 episodes after getting really hooked on the pilot. Noomi is good as usual but the other characters seem limited, even Jonathan Banks of Breaking Bad seems a bit off in this.
There is a decent amount of an interesting story and real tension in some scenes, but then quickly fizzles to another mystery scene which doesn't add much.
It's 8 episodes written by Peter Harness who has several well received projects and I'm sure this one will get high marks as well. It's good, but the first 3 episodes have a lot of needless scenes. While this is a mystery/space/missing time/quantum physics project it does not feel like it's genuinely getting anywhere.
Compared to all of the shows released this year it's among the top 3, but it's still a 6/10 as it could have been loads better, maybe it'll improve.
Update:
I watched Episode 4, which is the Real Housewives of Nasa with all the drama and kids yelling and bratty. About 10 minutes of science stuff that was rehashed from previous episodes and not much else. 1/10 for this episode and it completely ruins it for me. I have to stop here, just too ridiculous and just a mess. 3/10 for the series, if I watch anymore I'll just end up getting too annoyed with the silliness.
True Detective: Night Country: Part 6 (2024)
Put a bowtie on a box of turds and call it good
This season what a complete mess and this final episode doesn't make any sense whatsoever. Like other reviewers have stated, there are so many errors and conflicting character actions. These 2 detectives don't even solve one case, and execute people.
A super secret underground cave system literally 40' from another secret research station? The writers don't understand how cold works and put the location in the North? Just throwing stuff at the wall and never offering any reason.
Suicide caribou herd in the opening? Cool scene never talk about again. Mystery spirals cool. Something about bad water and pollution. Something about ice cores. Tie something to Season 1 as it's popular, never get any answers.
Incredibly poor writing, this season is on par with the last season of Game of Thrones and will kill the franchise and thankfully so. Wrap everything up with some elite cleaning ladies and a sprinkle of the supernatural. Sure.
This season could quite possibly start a backlash similar to the last season of GoT as more people watch it and point out all of the unnecessary and conflicting character actions.
When your season has meme potential it just isn't good. Writers Nic Pizzolatto and Issa López have become the next DnD and won't be able to get the stink off their hands for ages if ever.
After Midnight (2024)
Same format for 60 mins? Um, No.
Like several other reviewers have stated, Taylor is a good stand up comic and has some original jokes. I was a bit puzzled with this format as it's a cross between a game show and comedy skit.
As others have pointed out, regardless of what it's trying to be, 60 minutes is just unbearably long. Talk shows have new guests and often break it up with musical guests and even silly bring your animals to the show type segments. Here we just have the same stuff rehashed over and over, show after show.
Anyone who thinks this is promising is delusional, it's repetitive and exhausting.
Now that people have seen the show, I don't think even trimming it to 30 mins could help it out, as it just doesn't work.
Unfortunately this is probably a one and done season for this show and Taylor's big chance is squandered. I think she would have done much better as a late night version of Kelly Clarkson with adult themes behind a desk which would cater to her comedy instead of a teleprompter.
Tracker (2024)
Lots of promos and action sequences, so-so story
There have been tons of promotions advertising this show as the next up and coming adventure/action series. After about 15 minutes in we can see that it's a bit shallow and the dialogue and story are about as simple as can be.
I guess we are supposed to care about the main character because he is willing to bypass employees to gain access to private rooms so he can look at security tapes. How brazen. He also is shown to have a team of people helping him which is fine as it allows for quicker solutions.
At the end of the pilot I felt like I watched an after school tv special for kids. It feels cheap and budgeted. Simple storytelling and paint by numbers drama that can be wrapped up in 55 mins. 2/10 as some parts are ok, but it's mostly fluff. It is scheduled for 13 episodes and I'm done after one. Maybe others will stick around to solve the backstories, I'm out.
Collection (2021)
So many 9 and 10 star short reviews from week old accounts
I watched this before reading any reviews as I liked the lead actor and the subject sounded a bit different.
But after a while I realized nothing makes sense and it just starts to fall apart. A bit of drama here and there but at about half way through the movie it turns into a boy-girl drama and doesn't let up.
The second half of the movie things are thrown together and nothing makes sense and a huge debt to a Mexican cartel member is just another debt to collect from this unstoppable crew. The ending is extremely poor. Somehow we get a few closeups of the mother, who doesn't have any lines, and the camera just focuses on her for a while, idk why.
1/10, shouldn't have been made. Director with zero skills and unknown writer with no previous work history. 1 star for bottom of the barrel effort.
FBI True (2023)
We investigated ourselves and found nothing wrong
Most of these stories show only one side of the story, the governments, with zero accountability. That should be enough of a hint to see that this is all just a fluff piece to counter all the recent poor press regarding this agency.
Ruby Ridge shows us the typical police response to any perceived threat and the outrageous actions an agency will take.
I'm wondering why they aren't showing the Waco standoff. Perhaps it's tough to defend the actions of officers using armored vehicles to deliver tear gas into a compound and then igniting it.
Most of these stories show only one side of the story, the governments, with zero accountability. That should be enough of a hint to see that this is all just a fluff piece to counter all the recent poor press regarding this agency.
Ruby Ridge shows us the typical police response to any perceived threat and the outrageous actions an agency will take.
I'm wondering why they aren't showing the Waco standoff. Perhaps it's tough to defend the actions of officers using armored vehicles to deliver tear gas into a compound and then igniting it.
True Detective: Night Country: Part 4 (2024)
Quite possibly the worst episode of the entire series
First we resume where we left off, with the Blair Witch type found footage and replaying the video over and over. Then Jodi gets drunk and this somehow enlightens her and she sends the cavalry out to find a key suspect somewhere, and they find nothing and leave, like they did last time.
This is not even a detective show anymore, as it's 90% family drama, marriage troubles, coworker drama, mail order bride drama, having a kid drama, fighting with the locals drama, driving drunk drama, and sister suicide drama.
The coast guard can find a frozen person in under an hour on Christmas Eve without even being notified of a missing person? These guys are amazing! They should be finding the other suspects.
So we get about half way through the episode and the story delves into... jump scares. Holy smokes this is bad. Then ends with nothing really being revealed and fade to black.
This is a 6 part series, and it is being stretched and filled like crazy. I don't even think there is enough to condense it into a 90 minute movie. The 5 or 10 minutes of actual police work are not enough to carry this series. Incredibly bad 1/50.