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Reviews
Blackball (2003)
Come on!
This film is good. No really it is. Okay so I know some people thought it was a load of old boll..I mean er...'twaddle', but it's really not! It's one of those films people think is rubbish, but that's just because they're not seeing the big picture. It's like when people say that Peter Kay isn't funny. They're just missing the jokes because they're too stupid! That's all. What a bunch of goons eh? So if you're open to humour, then you'll find this hilarious and interesting. And I'm probably making a really crap attempt at reviewing this. Hmm.
I liked the story. I thought it was different and charming in the way that Cliff was a poor boy who only had bowls to give him ambition. And even though he acted like a bit of an idiot and was annoying, he still has a charm about him. And I can't really think of anything else to say, except it is funny and good. The bit with the pepsi can amused me (watch it to find out!) and also the bits with Johnny Vegas.
Okay, so maybe the bowls match at the end goes on a bit and is a bit far fetched the way the English are losing so miserably only to go on to turn it around so dramatically..but overall it's good.
One negative thing though: Kerry's hair looks like a wig and she's a bit of a goon. Apart from that it's very good! So as Cliff Starkey would say; Come on!
Perfect World (2000)
Perfect!
This show is ace! It's soooo unfair cos you can't get it on DVD or Video and it's not being shown on TV at the moment so I have no way of watching it! I wanna see it! Perfect World is so hilarious, the character Bob Slay is ace...It's just...really cool..Don't really have anything else to say, except that this IS good, and this IS funny, and if you don't agree...You're missing something!
Pi (1998)
What the...????
23:55: Personal note, this movie is demented. All I can say is 'what??????'...I mean I like arty films, really I do. I absolutely adore Requiem for a Dream- Darren Aronofsky's second movie, love the damn thing. But 'Pi?'...Erm, no. Can't say it had quite the same effect. Maybe because maths was my most hated subject? Who knows. Or maybe it was because it was all in black and white? And not just black and white...the whole thing just seemed dark and weird and like you never quite actually got to see clearly. And when that guy started shaving off his hair and having seizures and all that malarkey I was just like 'right....' I know some people consider this to be a masterpiece or whatever, but I think they may be delusional...Or deranged, one of the two. You'd need to be one or both to enjoy this movie. Eurgh. What the hell was this??? It had no plot...I felt like I was looking through a tunnel and only seeing part of the picture. I hate it when movies do that! Grrrrrrrr!!!!! Conclusion: Requiem for a dream: ace, Pi: Nooooooo.
Requiem for a Dream (2000)
Oh. My. God
I have only just finished watching this film and I feel like I've been on drugs myself. Geez...That film is amazing. I don't really know what else to say. It's so intense it's like you're there, experiencing everything the characters experience...Bloody hell. Okay I'm gonna shut up, just wanted to let everyone know that if you haven't seen this already, you have to watch it!
Final Destination 2 (2003)
A Falling Brick???? A falling brick?! What were they thinking???
As a great fan of the original Final Destination and having seen it over 50 times (literally) I had nothing but the highest expectations for the long awaited sequel as I sat in the cinema this afternoon waiting for it to start. For two years I had wondered in vain whether Carter had really died and whether the sign had really hit him. For two years I wondered the fate of Alex and wondered where he'd be in the sequel. Except he wasn't in the sequel. Because....and this is a kinda minor spoiler- oh dear, he got hit by a falling brick to the head when he was walking along one day, and what's even better- Clear has a polaroid of his dead body on the sidewalk to prove it. The sequel could have been so much better, but instead it simply followed an identical structure to the original. Final Destination was unique, it had something that no film had ever had before, but Final Destination 2 was simply a copy of this structure which was why it ended up so predictable. The film literally is exactly the same. We have the girl and her friends going on a trip...except this time it's in a car instead of on a plane...Oooooh, that makes all the difference doesn't it? Then we have the premonition which you are supposed to believe is actually happening until she wakes up and realises 'Uh Oh...It's gonna come true.' She then proceeds to go crazy and blocks the road to stop any other cars entering the freeway..Sound familiar? Next comes the part where it actually happens before their very eyes, and the next thing, they're all at the police station being interviewed...Anyone else getting that strange sense of deja vu? What happens after that basically comprises of a load of people getting killed in even more ludicrous ways. At least the original Final Destination's deaths were slightly credible and realistic. This sequel just completely goes over the top, with such deaths as a boy running retardedly into a flock of pigeons to scare them only to end up completely disintegrated by a falling glass plate....And how could I forget the barbed wire fence being catapulted through the air, chopping off some poor guys arms and tearing his body in half...I mean for Christ's sake, at least give the audience some credit, we aren't that stupid. Kimberley tries so hard to be the new 'Alex' but fails miserably. There can never be any replacement for Alex, Alex was just Alex and nobody can ever replace him. Another thing is that Final Destination was so refreshing as none of the characters had a clue what was going on, they were all genuinely confused and scared and that's what made it so edgy and tense. In the sequel, they're all just like, "Yeah yeah, so we've all gotta look out for the signs and we know it all already." The most annoying thing about this sequel was that the characters took themselves far too seriously and couldn't even see how ridiculous and laughable the script had become. By the time they were all in the car and started going, "Oh my god...I just remembered, I nearly died once, I was on a bus and a girl got killed by it." I practically had my head in my hands from the sheer cringe worthyness of it all. I'm not saying this sequel is a bad movie. I guess I just felt cheated and let down by the fact that I had such high hopes for it, only for it to turn out to be nothing like I'd expected. The characters are nowhere near as likeable as those in the first and to be honest I didn't even care when they died...I was just like 'whatever'. So go and see this movie if you want a good laugh or if you haven't seen the first one. I think people who hadn't seen the original would find this a lot more interesting as they haven't seen the format before. However if like me you are a huge fan of the original be prepared to feel just a tad disappointed. I wish Alex had been in the sequel! Oh Devon Sawa, how could you? He really was the one that held the entire film together, and without him the sequel just isn't the same. Okay, so we have Clear, but this time around she just thinks shes ace and it's all a little tiresome. Oh well....
Freddy Got Fingered (2001)
Daddy Would You Like Some Sausage?
This has to be the strangest film that I have ever seen. It freaked me out in ways I have never been freaked out before. This means it must be a weird film as it takes a lot to freak me out. It was strange, but all the same funny in places even though yes, it was sick. Especially with the baby and the whole umbilical cord thing. There's just something slightly disturbing about the way Tom Green acts...but his craziness can also be hilarious at times even if he does go totally over the top. The best part about this movie? Flipping the creamers! After watching this movie I just couldn't help myself from stealing a creamer from the restaurant where I work and attempting to flip it at home...Ah, fun.
Game-On (1995)
Whats so ace about Ben Chaplin?
Am I the only one who thinks the show is a lot funnier with Neil Stuke playing Matt rather than the so called 'amazing' Ben Chaplin? Neil Stuke is more like the kind of person I imagined Matt to be, and plays him a lot better- I find the show hilarious mainly cos of him and the way he comes out with those one-liners. So all you gimps who say the show sucked after Ben left, stop being gay and wake up and smell the coffee!!
Pop Idol (2001)
Call me a sucker but.....
Okay, I just read the other person's comments on Pop Idol, and how it should only have one winner etc etc etc, but the thing with a show like Pop Idol is that having just one winner is virtually impossible. When you get down to the ten finalists, you can't just say "Oh well, we can only have one winner so even though you're all great at singing we're just gonna tell you to sod off now." Just look at Gareth Gates for instance; how could they just ignore his talent? I know he didn't win but to just let him go and fade into the background would be a loss to the music industry and a stupid mistake on Simon Cowell's part. Yes, so Will Young won, and he deserved too- He has a unique voice and is destined for great things, but then so is Gareth. They both have star quality, and I know a lot of people were like, "Oh, but Gareth knocked Will off number one and he never even won the show!" or "Whinge whinge Gareth's getting more publicity," etc etc, but the fact of the matter is, although Will technically DID win, both are Pop idols so it's about time people stopped whinging and moaning about the so called 'injustice' of the thing. I mean, if you were Simon Cowell, would you really want to pass up the opportunity to get as much money out of them as possible? Sounds callous I know, but he'd have been a complete moron to pass up signing Gareth Gates to BMG, just look at his four week stint at Number one if you don't believe me. The votes in the final were so close- How can we possibly say one is better than the other? It was just the luck of the draw on the nite and I'm talking a load of bollocks and I know it..........Ah well.
On another note, I love both Gareth and Will now, and am completely obsessed and consumed by both of them- so basically I got the best of both worlds, eh? Lucky old me.
The Perfect Souffle: Testing 'Final Destination' (2000)
This extra was on my DVD of Final Destination
This extra was on my DVD of Final Destination. It's a really good extra thing to watch, perfect for Final Destination Freaks. Some of the bits actually made me laugh out loud, for example, the bit where James Wong and Glen Morgan were reading examples of comments people had made on the film in the screen testing.
Overall, it's a pretty good programme, and tells you loads about the movie and how they got it ready for cinemas etc, but I wouldn't recommend it to people who hadn't seen FD, because they'd just find it boring.
Gimme Gimme Gimme (1999)
Hilarious!!
This programme is soooooo funny!! I laugh all the way through all the episodes. The best one ever has got to be the New Year's Eve one when Tom and Linda play Cherades and.....FUNNY!! Ahhhhhh!! It's too funny! And Linda gets that babies computer thing off her dad, and she knocks over the Christmas tree and- well, better stop there I think. But let me just say this is one hell of a funny programme!
Final Destination (2000)
I'm about to prove that it was ONLY the plane that crashed and burned...
Final Destination is just one of those movies that in my opinion stands out completely from any other. It's a horror film, yeah, point taken, but it's just so different from all the others like Scream, I know what you did last summer, Halloween etc.
You don't actually 'see' 'death' and I think that makes it really special. It makes you think about things, such as fate, and actually freaks you out a lot, as the whole scenario seems quite logical, unlike most other horror movies. It is original, chilling, and extremely entertaining. It doesn't over do it with the special effects either, and this shows that James Wong and Glen Morgan actually put a lot of thought into how to make things look as realistic as possible.
The acting in Final Destination is fantastic. The first time I saw this movie I was left thinking what a great actor Devon Sawa is. You could completely empathise with his character, Alex Browning. In fact, all the actors were brilliant. They could really convince you that what was happening to the characters was real, and that was really spooky. The movie has a great ensemble cast, some of which will be instantly recognised from other popular TV shows or films, such as Kerr Smith (Dawson's Creek) Brendan Fehr (Roswell) and Seann. W. Scott (American Pie, Road Trip, Dude Where's My Car)
Final Destination is full of action, and the first fifteen minutes really do get you hooked. It's not like most other movies where it gradually builds up to the action, this movie just has short sharp adrenaline pumping blasts of it, and it's great. There are some excellent 'jump' scenes aswell, which immediately re-grab your attention so your mind never wanders.
The movie doesn't have much of a soundtrack, but to be quite honest it doesn't really need it. The atmosphere is pulled off fantastically by the eerie musical score composed by Shirley Walker, and totally fits in with the scenes.
Some people might say that Final Destination is just over-rated and ridiculous, but I disagree. It is because it goes just far enough to make you believe, and disbelieve it at the same time. The deaths could actually happen in the home or whatever, but for them to happen is a chance in a million. Yet, they could still happen.
Okay, Final Destination isn't one of the most famous box-office smash hits in the world like the Matrix or Gladiator, but I don't really care. As far as I'm concerned this movie is just an unsung hero, and people who rate this movie as being 'awful' just don't know how to appreciate a masterpiece. After all, who needs Oscars when this film is as good as I think it is already?
A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001)
The Teddy is mine!!
Me and My friend went to see A.I thinking we were gonna hate it and just sit there being silly. We were wrong. The movie is really very good, original and gripping in parts. Oh, and funny aswell if you're an immature freak like me. Especially some bits at the beginning, and the whole prospect of Jude Law's character is pretty funny aswell. *I think I'm gonna need to give you some SPOILERS here, so DON'T READ ON IF YOU DON'T WANT TO:* I mean, in what other film do you find a robot male prostitute befriending a small 11 year old robot? Well, I can't think of any anyway. I know lots of people say A.I was a load of rubbish, but I enjoyed it, and that teddy was so cute!! Me and my friend were sitting there arguing over it. I was saying it was mine and she was saying it was hers and er.......Well, obviously neither of us owned it but I wish I did. So, even if you're like me, sitting there laughing at the trailer and saying how 'gay' it looks, it isn't. Okay, so the ending dragged on slightly and it all went a bit, how should I put this, 'unrealistic', but apart from that it was cool. Sorry for not giving one of those amazing articulate reviews, but I am 14 years old and I just wanna express my views the way I want to, without all that claptrap. It was a cool film, so go and see it. Ignore people who say, it was the worst film they'd ever had to sit through because their idea of fun is probably sitting at home and reading the concise oxford dictionary. Overall, 8 out of 10. Cool!!! Haley Joel Osment is only a year younger than me but he's so small! What gives? One of the best young actors around though.
Small Potatoes (1999)
What the hell is it with the Title?????
I only watched this because I was at my Grandmas and me and my brother had to sleep downstairs because there was no room anywhere else. Anyway, it was five past eleven and we just started watching it even though I didn't have a clue what it was. It just interested me because in the TV guide it said something like, 'the boys wake up and find themselves trapped in a black box.' I was like, what the hell? It wasn't that bad really, and it was pretty clever the way it was structured, showing you clips of how they got in the box in the first place. The way it was done was that it went back in time instead of forward, so at first nothing made sense, but as they recalled events even further back in the day it started to fall into place, until eventually, right at the end, you knew why they were trapped in this box. I wouldn't say it was absolutely hilarious, but there was some good humour in it. I'm not sure why it's on too late though, as it doesn't contain any bad language etc. I suppose they just couldn't fit it in anywhere else. Overall, if you've got nothing else to do, put it on one night if it happens to be on, but there's no need to make plans just to watch it. 2 and a half out of a possible 5.
Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the Thirteenth (2000)
Shriek If You Actually Have To Sit Through This
I knew from the moment my dad told me they had rented this that it wasn't going to be an oscar winner. No, I knew it wasn't going to be good. Infact, I had a sneaking suspicion it would be cheesy, tacky, stupid, gay, sad and less fun than watching paint dry. I was right. For a start, who has actually ever heard of the movie? I hadn't before I saw it. Exactly, it was a tacky film that went straight to video, that nobody even knew about. Ask anyone, have you heard of Shriek blah blah blah the titles too long anyway? And they will say, 'Shrek?'
Exactly. They all think you're talking about Shrek, which you're not. Shriek is ridiculous and makes you cringe at how low it stoops in a pathetic attempt to get a cheap laugh out of its audience.
*SPOILER ARERT*
I mean, the bit about them hitting a plastic deer with their car in a feeble attempt to parody I know what you did last Summer just makes me want to laugh out loud. But not because it's funny, simply because it is absolute rubbish. The title is laughable enough. For a start it's too long, it sounds gay, and nobody can be bothered to repeat it anyway. The characters were boring and unoriginal. They had all been done before and it was boring. It wasn't funny at all, and I never laughed once, apart from the bit where the idiotic thick boy couldn't read the message he got from the killer. Speaking of the killer, it was just pathetic. Did he ever actually kill anyone? And it was the same stupid mask again. Yawn. The acting was wooden. The actors were trying hard to play their characters well but it just failed miserably. It's obvious to me and just about everyone else that this movie was scrounging off the success of Scary Movie. They saw the formula and how it worked, and I've gotta hand it to them, it was smart of them to think, "Ooooh, this makes people laugh!!" But it didn't. Scary Movie was good, this was bad. The beginning was so like Scary Movie it hurt, except instead of using quick wit and good jokes, it just degenerated into a girl running around a table while a killer chased her. Anyone hear a foghorn? BOR-RING.
As for the ending, don't even waste your breath watching it that far. The ending was the stupidest ending I have ever seen in my life. It made no sense, it didn't fit any of the plot, and the 'mask under mask' joke was stretched out so far it was beyond belief. Who the killer actually turned out to be is so pointless I can't even remember.
There was a point in this movie where it just stopped being funny. And that was when it started.
Please, don't waste your money renting this piece of cheap tacky rubbish. See Scary Movie instead. It's exactly the same except ten times funnier, more original and much better acting.
Unbreakable (2000)
What a Load of....
I like movies. I like them a lot. And I can honestly say that every movie I had seen in the past few months I have enjoyed. Except this. What a load of complete and utter rubbish. It sucked. Okay, I'll give it the benefit of the doubt, the beginning was good. I liked the first half an hour of it, I thought it had set up a lot of good ideas for an interesting plot, but then it just degenerated rapidly until it had become ridiculous. *spoiler alert* DO NOT READ ON IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE MOVIE It started to go off the plot totally when Bruce Willis's character (forgot his name) went off to that mans house, and suddenly people were tied up and then he hit the man and- well, what? I didn't have a clue what the hell that was all about. It was just ridiculous. And then when he fell in the pool, I thought that was going to be a really good too. But no. What the hell was the point in saying that his weakness was water? They could at least have done something with the bit in the pool, but he just got out of it again. The bit about his weakness was pointless really. And the ending, it was just so rushed. It was done too quickly and it didn't give you time to make sense of it. People say it is better than the Sixth Sense, but they must be living on a different planet or something because the sixth sense was a million times better than this drivel. Good acting, but an absolutely plotless and pointless movie.
Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the Thirteenth (2000)
Shriek If You Actually Have To Sit Through This
I knew from the moment my dad told me they had rented this that it wasn't going to be an oscar winner. No, I knew it wasn't going to be good. Infact, I had a sneaking suspicion it would be cheesy, tacky, stupid, gay, sad and less fun than watching paint dry. I was right. For a start, who has actually ever heard of the movie? I hadn't before I saw it. Exactly, it was a tacky film that went straight to video, that nobody even knew about. Ask anyone, have you heard of Shriek blah blah blah the titles too long anyway? And they will say, 'Shrek?'
Exactly. They all think you're talking about Shrek, which you're not. Shriek is ridiculous and makes you cringe at how low it stoops in a pathetic attempt to get a cheap laugh out of its audience.
*SPOILER ARERT*
I mean, the bit about them hitting a plastic deer with their car in a feeble attempt to parody I know what you did last Summer just makes me want to laugh out loud. But not because it's funny, simply because it is absolute rubbish. The title is laughable enough. For a start it's too long, it sounds gay, and nobody can be bothered to repeat it anyway. The characters were boring and unoriginal. They had all been done before and it was boring. It wasn't funny at all, and I never laughed once, apart from the bit where the idiotic thick boy couldn't read the message he got from the killer. Speaking of the killer, it was just pathetic. Did he ever actually kill anyone? And it was the same stupid mask again. Yawn. The acting was wooden. The actors were trying hard to play their characters well but it just failed miserably. It's obvious to me and just about everyone else that this movie was scrounging off the success of Scary Movie. They saw the formula and how it worked, and I've gotta hand it to them, it was smart of them to think, "Ooooh, this makes people laugh!!" But it didn't. Scary Movie was good, this was bad. The beginning was so like Scary Movie it hurt, except instead of using quick wit and good jokes, it just degenerated into a girl running around a table while a killer chased her. Anyone hear a foghorn? BOR-RING.
As for the ending, don't even waste your breath watching it that far. The ending was the stupidest ending I have ever seen in my life. It made no sense, it didn't fit any of the plot, and the 'mask under mask' joke was stretched out so far it was beyond belief. Who the killer actually turned out to be is so pointless I can't even remember.
There was a point in this movie where it just stopped being funny. And that was when it started.
Please, don't waste your money renting this piece of cheap tacky rubbish. See Scary Movie instead. It's exactly the same except ten times funnier, more original and much better acting.
Final Destination (2000)
I'm about to prove that it was ONLY the plane that crashed and burned...
Final Destination is just one of those movies that in my opinion stands out completely from any other. It's a horror film, yeah, point taken, but it's just so different from all the others like Scream, I know what you did last summer, Halloween etc.
You don't actually 'see' 'death' and I think that makes it really special. It makes you think about things, such as fate, and actually freaks you out a lot, as the whole scenario seems quite logical, unlike most other horror movies. It is original, chilling, and extremely entertaining. It doesn't over do it with the special effects either, and this shows that James Wong and Glen Morgan actually put a lot of thought into how to make things look as realistic as possible.
The acting in Final Destination is fantastic. The first time I saw this movie I was left thinking what a great actor Devon Sawa is. You could completely empathise with his character, Alex Browning. In fact, all the actors were brilliant. They could really convince you that what was happening to the characters was real, and that was really spooky. The movie has a great ensemble cast, some of which will be instantly recognised from other popular TV shows or films, such as Kerr Smith (Dawson's Creek) Brendan Fehr (Roswell) and Seann. W. Scott (American Pie, Road Trip, Dude Where's My Car)
Final Destination is full of action, and the first fifteen minutes really do get you hooked. It's not like most other movies where it gradually builds up to the action, this movie just has short sharp adrenaline pumping blasts of it, and it's great. There are some excellent 'jump' scenes aswell, which immediately re-grab your attention so your mind never wanders.
The movie doesn't have much of a soundtrack, but to be quite honest it doesn't really need it. The atmosphere is pulled off fantastically by the eerie musical score composed by Shirley Walker, and totally fits in with the scenes.
Some people might say that Final Destination is just over-rated and ridiculous, but I disagree. It is because it goes just far enough to make you believe, and disbelieve it at the same time. The deaths could actually happen in the home or whatever, but for them to happen is a chance in a million. Yet, they could still happen.
Okay, Final Destination isn't one of the most famous box-office smash hits in the world like the Matrix or Gladiator, but I don't really care. As far as I'm concerned this movie is just an unsung hero, and people who rate this movie as being 'awful' just don't know how to appreciate a masterpiece. After all, who needs Oscars when this film is as good as I think it is already?