kopitetimes Reviews

Warrior (2019–2023)

Don't Believe the Hype

[4/10 · 3 June 2021]

I honestly think I may have liked this when I was 13. Now that I'm an adult, I thought it was awful. I am absolutely flabbergasted at the 10/10 reviews- they have hot to be fake, there's too many of them for such a poor show. The fight scenes spoil it- they're ok for a Jackie Chan film if it's a comedy, but I think this is trying to be serious. The acting is bang average, the story is weak, as are the characters and the Samuel L Jackson accents from Chinese men in the 1800s is just bizarre.

I gave up after 3 episodes. By the way, my wife loves it but she is blonde and likes Benidorm and The Only Way is Essex.

Endangered Species (2021)

CGI from a Commodore 64

[2/10 · 28 May 2021]

Awful acting, no real story and the CGI was an absolute embarrassment. I feel sorry for anyone associated with the movie that has to watch cartoon rhinos in it. Only a 5 year old could have given this a quality seal of approval.

The Intent (2016)

Awful

[1/10 · 9 January 2021]

I honestly think some of the people in this film were on the bus or walking the dog and got dragged in. The acting is beyond bad, I mean worse than Hollyoaks. The first woman who is shot in the chest flomps down with no blood or bullet wound like she's been hit with a teabag. It's just rank bad- avoid.

Latin Hitman (2020)

Can anyone beat this?

[1/10 · 24 December 2020]

I lasted to 1.18s before turning it off. Opening scene he use 8 million bullets to kill someone asleep in bed. Then he spoke.... then I hot stop. Looks like it's been made on a budget of around £3.75

Breach (IV) (2020)

Bad! Bad! Bad!

[1/10 · 18 December 2020]

I lasted 24 minutes. I knew it was bad within 2 minutes but gave it the benefit of doubt. I turned it off shortly after I spotted a cameraman in the mirror around 22 minutes. I hadn't seen this type of amateurish mistake since the 1980s. The acting is outrageously bad and would give Hollyoaks a run for it's money. I feel sorry for Bruce Willis that he feel he needs to be involved in such paff. Watched Kevin Costner a hour earlier in the brilliant LET HIM GO. Bruce should retire. This is as bad as it gets.

Waterhole: Africa's Animal Oasis (2020)

Off The Scale Boring

[3/10 · 17 December 2020]

Lost interest after 10 minutes but got worse as the show went on. I love wildlife programmes but this is so boring and uneventful, it's hard to believe. Get a torch and sit in your garden- it'll be better.

Rogue City (2020)

Are you French?

[5/10 · 7 November 2020]

This would definitely be a decent movie if you are French. However, if you are English, there are far too many names to keep up with the aide of subtitles. Acting is bang average, characters are not connectable and how can every cop be bent?

The Doorman (2020)

Bang Poor

[2/10 · 23 October 2020]

Someone on here gave it a ten- white coats are coming fella. This genre has been done to death, but never before with the acting skills of the Hollyoaks cast. Wow, this is bad! If you got to the end and enjoyed it, I thoroughly recommend The Haunting of Bly Manor... you'll love it.

An American Pickle (2020)

As Tasty as Cucumber

[2/10 · 16 October 2020]

This film is revolting as cucumber itself. It has no real story, boring characters and is extremely slow and boring. Its not funny, is it supposed to be? I would say only an American would like this, and it would have to be a special kind of American. If any Brit has given this a good score, it was definitely with the assistance of someone in a white coat. Awful movie.

The Haunting of Bly Manor (2020)

Yawn zzzzzzzz

[1/10 · 11 October 2020]

I want a medal or a voucher for lasting three episodes. C'mon where is it. I have endured 3 hours of a pile of boring dog plop when I could have been doing tax returns or cleaning the oven. Reviews on here say it picks up in Episode 5. What are we supposed to do for the 4 hours before that? This is off the scale boring and so slow. Americans pretending they are English- just employ English actors. Americans pretending they are in England (really embarrassing). Just go to England! I was going to watch episode 4 but I've decided to read that tiny leaflet you get in a packet of paracetamol instead. Avoid this. It is appalling.

Enemy Lines (2020)

Bad

[2/10 · 8 September 2020]

Bad acting. Cheaply made. Basic storyline. Hardly any dialogue. No connection to any character. Souless garbage.

Line of Duty (2019)

Unbelievably Bad!

[1/10 · 17 July 2020]

There's nothing good to say about it. Bad script, no plot, poor characters. Pure ridiculous

Greyhound (2020)

Boring

[2/10 · 16 July 2020]

You'll have no idea what's going on because the dialogue is in binary. Rudder to 901.14.82 is as exciting as it gets. There is no opportunity to build a relationship with the characters and Elizabeth Shue bearly appears. I gave it 2 stars as it may have improved after 47 minutes when I turned it off. Definitely one to avoid

The Neighbor (II) (2017)

Brain Dumbingly Boring

[1/10 · 27 June 2020]

Someone explain to me what the point of this movie was. What was the story? Sooooo slow that you could be in a coma and still work it out. Really not recommended unless.... well nothing, just not recommended.

Killerman (2019)

Poor

[1/10 · 20 June 2020]

Poor acting. Unbelievable characters. No story. Poor dialogue. Ridiculous accents. Handbrake turns not seen since a 1970s episode of Starsky and Hutch. Audio quality is rubbish. Give this pile of rubbish a swerve or you'll regret it. Utter garbage.

Survive the Night (2020)

Awful

[1/10 · 30 May 2020]

In the UK, we would call this a Channel 5 film. It's hideous from start to finish. So cheaply made- the audio sounds like it was recorded in a toilet at times. The son, his wife and the lunatic bad guy have never acted before and were working in Greggs the week before. I actually feel embarassed for anyone who was involved in this. It really is that bad. Steer clear, it doesn't get much worse

Extraction (2020)

OK for teenagers

[3/10 · 24 May 2020]

If you are 15 years old and think one man can single handedly kill a while police force and army whilst carrying no extra ammo, then this movie is for you. There is literally no story to it. It has a one sentence plot to it. There's no dialogue so the acting can't be judged. Turn the volume down because its machine gun fire for 90 minutes. Intelligent adults look elsewhere.

Gangs of London (2020– )

Dire

[4/10 · 17 May 2020]

One for Chuck Norris fans. If you think a guy beating 12 hardened Albainian criminals in a pub on his own is believable, then this show is for you. Acting is poor and not a Cockney accent in site. Never made it to episode 2