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bkynion
Reviews
Fracture (2007)
Good but not great
This movie was well acted, well directed and had a nice pace to it. I thought the character development was solid and I was surprised at how well Ryan Gosling could carry a movie. There is also a harsh cynical subtext that adds to the dynamics of the film. My only complaint is that I could see through the ending and it did not make sense with the characters. If Anthony Hopkins character is so smart and brilliant to set up this elaborate plan to pull off a murder and get away with it, I think he would be smart enough to realize that murder and attempted murder are two different charges. I knew that and I only took remedial media law in college. Up to that point I really enjoyed this movie and the masses of viewers that probably won't see it coming will have a great twist at the end.
The Kingdom (2007)
uh pass
I think I actually read this script before it went into production, my friend is an actor, and yes it was mediocre then too. The first part of the movie starts off like a bad episode of law and order. I was just waiting for the dunt, dunt, dunt dunt noise. The second part of the movie involves a great action scene, but it cannot redeem this very average script. It's comical really, a crack team of FBI agents has to figure out a bombing in Saudi Arabia. All the clichés are there, the winy bitch(Jennifer Garner), the nerdy little jew(Jason Bateman), the dense gentile that can't figure anything out(Chris Cooper) and the token black guy(Jamie Foxx). Foxx is the leader and does his best to save the film. The most dynamic character is the Saudi Colonel and the movie really isn't about him. What I really can't stand is that there is no explanation of why this attack occurred. What was the motivation of the "terrorists"? Show me a little bit more about the culture of Saudi Arabia and the political strife that the average Saudi has to endure. It would have been much better as a political thriller than this lost action/political statement mix that leaves everyone dissatisfied. A great premise, idea, good cast and wasted opportunity.
Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (2006)
Declining SAT scores
This isn't the worst movie I have ever seen, but there really isn't any substance. It's not clever or original and I maybe got two to three laughs for my hour and a half. It's basically Yakov Smirnoff meets stuttering John, meets Jackass, who cares? If making a hit movie means going around and doing stupid things with a camera, I might as well make one myself. Why does everyone keep saying this is the funniest movie ever? Have none of us graduated high school? Even if I were in high school I still might think this is stupid. You know you might get a few laughs doing crazy things at the expense of others, but when you're 35 you're just being asshole, we're adults here right? Also the fat naked guy 69, is not funny in my book, it's just gross and nothing more and then they go and disrupt a banquet, yeah funny, just being an asshole again. Oh and everyone keeps saying that it's an anti-Semitic movie, and that is not the case at all, it's quite the opposite, it's an anti-gentile movie. The people in the movie that are anti-Semitic which he chose to show us, are the ones he makes fun of, including his character Borat who comes from a Muslim nation. He also makes fun of the southern Christian right, which is an easy target, but you have to remember that Sasha Cohen himself is a Jew and he has his own agenda. The Jewish home he goes to had to be someone he knew, cause their ain't no way they are letting two guys in an ice cream truck stay at their place. I used to have a Jewish girl-friend and she wouldn't even let me pick her up from her home because I was a goy, so ain't no way he didn't know that old couple, so the only people in the movie who weren't getting hoaxed were Jewish. Oh and Pamela Anderson, I don't really give a rat's ass about her, but that was mean. She didn't know who he was and to chase her around in the parking lot like that must have scared her horribly. I don't think anyone really deserves that, but some of you might like it, so enjoy the 15-year old humor.
Firecracker (2005)
Worst movie ever
I don't ever do comments but this movie was so bad I had to. It annoyed me from the beginning with a horrible slow-mo long shot of a guy running and then never got better. I can't believe so many people made high remarks about this movie. I guess if you like incest gay rape or female castration or enjoy watching a midget strip you might like it and that wasn't even the worst part. Mike Patton and Karen Black play duel roles, I believe to save money, but the key to playing duel roles is that you have to be different characters and I don't think they got the memo. Patton is awful, Black is a little better, but it's like you're watching two crappy stories play out at the same time with the same characters. The edits seemed to be made by college students, the symbolism was poor, the character development was awful and every person in the film was one dimensional. The kicker was that the police couldn't follow the obvious in your face clues that a 4th grader could pick up on, they had to turn to a crazy lady that lived in a field next to a tree that she hung bottles on. My vote for the worst movie of the year, close to all time. There is so much more I could dissect but I don't have enough space.