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terrier42
Reviews
Gitaroo Man (2001)
Flippin' Incredible
Gitaroo Man is EASILY the best rhythm game ever. That simple phrase is a lot coming from me. I've played every rhythm game under the sun, but I always return to this one. Why? Well... THE GOOD: The graphics. I'm no graphics whore by any means. I'm glad I'm not, because if I were than I'd miss out on the best games ever. Gitaroo Man has cartoony yet really SLICK graphics. The cutscenes before levels really set up the scene. They aren't much to start with, but deeper into the game they get more and more incredible. Everything hits the top with Zowie's stage. The cutscene before the level is incredible, with the return of INFINITELY IMPOSSIBLE and Zowie's cannon arm gitaroo. THE MUSIC: If I had to describe the music in one word, it would be: Diverse. Everything from Bouncy J-Pop in Flyin' to Your Heart, Evil Heavy Metal in Tainted Lovers, to the only Funiscazz (Funk/Disco/Jazz) song in the world with Bee' Jam Blues. Yes. Diverse. The music ROCKS! (No pun intended). VS. MODE: It's a blast. Everything is given a new level of difficulty in a war of music against your opponents. CONTROL: Gitaroo Man's control scheme is impossible to describe in words. Go watch a video on Youtube or something. Yeah, the control is very fresh and never feels old. DIFFICULTY: Excellent. It's hard in the way that makes you think "Well, I bet I can do it next time!" Yeah, the difficulty is nicely balanced as you get through the game. Also, why do people make such a huge deal about the Sanbone Trio? They were wimps compared to Gregorio Sigfried Wilhelm III. CHARM: This game has so much charm. In a world where games are about violence and destruction, it's great to have a game so full of charm as this. Of course, every game must have a "sick" part. A sick part is one that makes you say "Eww...That's sick!" and then it makes laugh your head off. For Gitaroo Man, it's the death of Mojo King Bee. Well, I'm not sure if he REALLY drowned in that swamp...It's sort of hard to tell.
THE BAD NITPICKS:In versus mode, you can only set the bad guys on COM and not the good guys. It's too bad. Also, It would have been nice for versus mode to be set on the enemy's stages.
Gitaroo Man is fresh, charming, and just plain fun. It proves that novel is goooooood. Very, very gooooood.
Romeo + Juliet (1996)
Bastardization at it's most profound.
I'll put it bluntly: This movie sucks. This movie really sucks. They didn't do a good job. Why? Well, they modernized it. Instead of swords, they have submachine guns with the word "Longsword" imprinted upon it. They did a rubbish job. How did they work in hallucinogens into the story? Why modern? WHY? They made Mercutio some sort of gay guy. That's what I got from it. And they cast Leonardo DiCaprio as Romeo. They changed Benvolio's name to...Benevelo. And to top things off, they used the original language from the play. I HATE INCONSISTENCY. They watch TV in the middle of a beach. TV. ON A BLOODY BEACH! And Mercutio's death was handled absolutely terribly. And they called Paris "Dave Paris". DAVE? Instead of continuing on with how bad this movie is, I'll just say this: This movie is the worst bastardization of Shakespeare. Ever. Thank you. -100/10
ClayFighter 63 1/3 (1997)
So bad it's good
This game is absolutely terrible. However, just like Santa Claus Conquers the Martians or Super MArio Bros.: The Movie, it somehow gets so low it comes back up to the top. Seriously. It's so bad, it's good. With characters like Lady Liberty (The Statue of Liberty...with a flamethrower) and High Five (A disembodied hand), how can you go wrong? Well, lot's of ways. High Five seems unfinished. However, you should get this game. Sculptor's Cut is better, as it has more characters (Like High Five and Lady Liberty). Seriously, though. I love this game. It's absolutely hilarious. It's too bad that the Stage Fatalities were left out. Also HoboCop should have been left in. Unfortunately, Nintendo felt it too offensive. Ah well. Anyway, this game is fun with a friend, especially if you have an off-the-wall sense of humor and make up your own quotes. (This isn't an in-game feature, it's just fun to say random things while playing.) Yeah, get this game. Get Sculptor's Cut if you can.
Fratello sole, sorella luna (1972)
Personally, I didn't like it at all.
"Brother Sun, Sister Moon" was about Saint Francis and his way of life. Personally, I didn't like it until the end. It just didn't make sense. It wasn't connected very well. Until Francis formed his disciples and actually talked instead of screaming "NO!" all the time, I had no idea what was going on. If the whole movie was as good as the ending was, I probably would have liked it. Unfortunately, they didn't do a good job on the beginning. If Ms. Hall hadn't told me that he was having hallucinations about the war he was in, I wouldn't have made heads or tails about his life. How were we supposed to know that he was in a war? Well, maybe it's just me, but I don't stick my heads in encyclopedias whenever I get the chance and look at Saint Francis's life. The first half of the movie was absolute rubbish. He just walked around, cried, and yelled "NOOOOOO!" without any rhyme or reason. The second half of the movie was great. They EXPLAINED things. They TALKED and didn't assume we knew EVERYTHING about Francis's life. Still, the movie wasn't good at all. BROTHER SUN, SISTER MOON'S FINAL GRADE: D+