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Vanished (2016)
My expectations were low but my goodness
The bar was six feet under and they still grabbed a shovel to dig deeper.
Movies like this just show that evangelical Christians have remarkably low standards for their movies. Objectively, this was bad. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. There was no getting to know the characters. You couldn't care when they lost people they cared about. Since this was based on the kids' series, there was literally no need for a love triangle. Also, why not just?? Use the original characters?? Especially when your dad created the series?? But at least we know that Randy LaHaye was a big Mark/Vicki shipper.
This movie wasn't a Left Behind movie. It barely addressed the Rapture. Barely talked about Christianity. It was a movie about cults, which is really ironic because a church that distributed flash drives with their pastor explaining the Rapture would be viewed as a cult.
Before Christians come at me, I am also a Christian. I just wish more Christian filmmakers (in fact, I wish all of them) treated movies and tv as the art form that it is. Get storytellers to tell stories. It's not God-honoring to put out bad movies that are so bad that everyone makes fun of Christian movies.
It's very interesting to me that two sons of both the Left Behind writers created Christian entertainment. Dallas Jenkins created The Chosen, which is actually good and well-done and every character has a personality. Randy LaHaye made...this. But it's a win for the Mark/Vicki shippers!! Even though it doesn't seem very welcome most of the time.
The Last Duel (2021)
Legitimately Had a Panic Attack
I cannot deny the fact that this film was well-done. The writing, for the most part, was well done. Jodie's casting was great. And as a history major, I absolutely loved the way this movie essentially explained historiography to the layman ("the truth according to..." while determining who was actually right).
I watched this movie with my dad because we're both history buffs. I hadn't heard anything about it, but I expected to enjoy it since it was history. And even when I realized that it was medieval history, which is the opposite of my niche, I was interested. But as the movie went on, I went to check the parents' guide here just to make sure there wasn't that much sex and then I found out about the rape scenes. I knew these were coming, and when the longer rape scene came on, I left the room to use the bathroom and change, but I could still hear it. I had a panic attack while listening, and when the movie was over, it triggered another very severe panic attack. It was really hard for me to talk to my guy friends - whom I have *always* felt safe with and have never been uncomfortable around - and even to be around my dad. Nothing my friends or my dad ever did, it's just that I was so scared from that scene. There was no reason to include those scenes as graphically they were, nor to be as long as they were. It was incredibly triggering, and I can't imagine how much worse it would be for someone who has had a similar traumatic experience.
Yeah, well done is good, but if there is something that triggering, nothing good can outweigh the trigger.
The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (2021)
Subpar for Marvel
This was the tv show I was most looking forward to from Marvel. I loved the Bucky and Sam dynamic, and Sam used to be my fourth favorite character in the MCU. I expected this to be a sitcom, which I guess led to me disliking it as much as I did, but it really should have been a true dramedy instead of a drama show. It should have followed the precedent that the MCU had set of an even balance of lightheartedness and seriousness, especially since Bucky and Sam's dynamic lends itself to comedy.
Not to mention I was really sick of the politics and race stuff. If I'm going into it and expecting that, then fine. But it really wasn't necessary for this show. I was so bored and I hated it so much. Sam was a great supporting character before this show and I sincerely loved him until this show. The race politics felt forced the entire time - enough people wanted Sam to be the next Cap that he did end up becoming Cap. I used to be one of those people but now, I just...I wish there wasn't a Cap replacement. And then there was Karli and I cannot put into words how much I hated her. She was supposed to be sympathetic but there was really no good reason for me to sympathize with her or like her. She wasn't compelling, nor were any of the other Flag Smashers. Literally the only reason I watched this show all the way through was Zemo. I pray to God this show isn't necessary for the understanding of the MCU from this point forward because I will not watch this show any more.
Again, keep in mind, I was looking forward to this show more than any other. Had it not been for Hawkeye, I would have given up on the MCU altogether. It should have been a sitcom.
Psych: Remake A.K.A. Cloudy... With a Chance of Improvement (2014)
Not My Least Favorite Ep, but Def in there
For me, the most frustrating part of this episode (and this is just based on my memory from 1.5 years ago, I haven't gone back and watched it since) was how they removed so much of Henry's development. The original was the episode where it was made clear for the first time how much Henry cared for his son. This version does nothing and treats Henry like crap
Dunkirk (2017)
The higher the hopes, the harder the fall
I was super excited to watch Dunkirk when I first heard about it. Then I watched it and I was utterly bored. I hated it. There was virtually no reason to root for any characters, there was no established relationship with any if them except the old guy on the boat and his son, and no established relationships, whether platonic or otherwise, means there is no character I find worth rooting for. Cinematography is great but I hated this movie and literally nothing can make up for ut
Joker (2019)
I had to go to Mass for watching this and I'm not even Catholic
I went to go see this movie with friends over the weekend, and I'd heard really good things about it. Now, me personally, I'm not a thriller or horror person when it comes to movies (and the theater we went to was only showing three films so not much choice), so I knew I provably wouldn't like it.
That being said, the cinematography is - objectively speaking - excellent. But the violence was too much, it was absolutely horrific and it was just grim and dirty and dark. I felt like I had sinned going to see that movie, but I overslept church and had to attend Mass.
If you're into thrillers and horrors, this should be good. If you're not a particular fan of the genre, I'd sit it out