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Reviews
The Flying Machine (2010)
Terrible, Incongruous, Boring, Awkward, Confusing, Pointless
This feels like a movie created by AI rather than humans. It is AWFUL. The animated short "The Magic Piano" should be pulled out and re-packaged as a short; the stop-motion animation there is charming and the dialogue-free story told through Chopin's music would work for many people of various ages. Instead, "The Magic Piano" is jammed into this bizarre low-budget framing starring Heather Graham--huh? Did she lose a bet to someone?) that is at best a redundant rehashing of the plot points in "The Magic Piano." This framing story drags and drags painfully along (with tidbits of Chopin trivia artlessly and bizarrely squeezed in along the way). The children who watched this with me started commenting "This movie is way too long" at 30 minutes in, and I felt awful that their parents did not shut the thing off to spare them.
I cannot believe anyone has given this positive reviews unless paid to do so, which is why I am taking the time to explain my 1-star rating. It appears from the credits that a number of international entities collaborated to get this made (one of them has to be a Chinese Tourism Board of some kind), and this is my plea to the world that we abandon further attempts to make any films in this artless and painful way.