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The Pope's Exorcist (2023)
Did they just use EA Dragon Age: Inquisition's eye symbol?!
As someone who played the RPG video game DA: Inquisition, I immediately recognized the symbol. I did a search on The Spanish Inquisition and its symbols/icons/seals/emblems thinking that the Game Designers might have taken inspiration from an original, medieval symbol, but nothing close came up. But the 'seal' the film uses is the EXACT COPY of Dragon Age: Inquisition's. It's likely a production staff just googled 'Inquisition Seal', and the Dragon Age T-shirts and stickers came up, so they just used it carelessly, with no one on set having ever played the game to realize the plagiarism. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm predicting a copyright strike.
Anyway, I didn't like the film. Bad exposition. Too predictable. Bad demon big villain voice. Too many tropes. Too many CGI tropes even. The elongated 'The Mummy' mouth has been done a thousand times and now it's just cringe.
Only good thing is Russell Crowe's inherent presence and charm.
See (2019)
Good show. Good acting. Good production. Good pacing. Simple Characters. Simple Plot. One Unbearable Screaming Angry Teen Karen.
Production: Exceptional. While there are some mistakes, the atmosphere is stunning and immersion is addictive. The blind contact lenses look great. The effort to mind every touch, posture and face direction is almost flawless.
Disclaimers: Sex. Sexual acts like oral sex and handjobs. Incest. Gore... Well, battle gore seems to be executed mostly by Jason Momoa.
Plot: Not much here. Remove the blind aspect, and it's just a regular village hunt / evil queen story. No intrigue, no mystery. Unfortunately, there are holes in the world building. For example, they have some things color-coded, which should be nonexistent or at least, chaotically random. The scenario is also virtually impossible to happen, comparable with 'what if everyone suddenly had wings'. I'd suggest not thinking about the how's and why's, and just enjoy the setting.
Casting and Characters: No gray characters, all are polarized-
Baba Voss - Heroically Good of course. But it's refreshing to see an apex, alpha male being affectionate to fellow males.
Sibeth - Chaotic evil, too evil. But serves her purpose of being the hard-to-kill, love-to-hate antagonist. Second after Momoa in billing as the main villain, so audiences are intended to hate her. Very good actress!
Maghra - Too Good a character. Great actress, but she sometimes slips with the American accent.
Harlan, Paris, Wren, Edo, Tamacti, Charlotte, Bow Lion - All good actors, and their characters are all simple and likeable, like candy. No complex nuisances.
Haniwa and Kofun - Average actors, I guess performance comes with experience. Kofun has at least some character development in the final season, but Haniwa is THE PLAGUE of the show, horribly written privileged character, even more unbearably Karen than Queen Kane. Screaming, angry in S1E1, absolutely no character development, and 10x more screaming and angrier every episode up to S3E8 Finale.
Morbius (2022)
Flat, Boring, Predictable, Tacky, Forgettable
Unbelievably boring. The plot is so predictable, you can just watch the first few minutes, and the last few minutes, and still wouldn't have missed much. Flat, unrelatable characters with even flatter motivations. Trope-driven: best friends turned enemies... magic, miracle muscles... bullied kid becomes the villain... incredibly beautiful, intelligent, caring, love interest with immaculate make-up... dying mentor with parting words... dying love interest with parting words... useless police officers... final city battle in the city during the night... GAH, who wrote this, 10 year-olds in a treehouse?
All that dramatic hand cutting just to collect bats? How did normal vampire bats through a medical, scientific method create mystical abilities that defy biology and physics? Did you just leave your best friend's body in the sewers? Who's taking care of the cat? Why am I asking all these questions from garbage?
Imagine a boring, serious, forgettable cookie-cutter kid out of thousands of unique, colorful kids suddenly tell an unfunny joke, 'I am Venom'... Eew, CRICKETS! Even the poster is tacky - looming, disembodied eyes over the cast... really?!
Props to J. Leto, J. Harris and M. Smith for tolerating the director and writers, must have been torture. Hope you all bathed thoroughly, and were paid handsomely.
The Wheel of Time: The Eye of the World (2021)
Betrayed By a Show I Defended So Hard
I'm so, so sorry, Show! I'm a book reader turned show fan and I defended the show til my last tooth. I loved the show, all the episodes, all the changes, all the unseen intimacies between the characters, all the channeling, everything - even Loial's curls.
But episode 8... I felt so betrayed, so attacked, and now I'm so, so deeply upset! I've seen shows that butchered books but some end up wonderfully delightful. This ONE PARTICULAR EPISODE is a nasty vomit of everything! So bad that it destroys all the episodes I originally loved, like a domino effect! Since it's the S1 Finale, it spreads its rot, like the Blight!
This Finale is so horribly depressing I literally cried in frustration and emotional pain. Don't watch if you're a WoT book reader who suffers from Depression and Anxiety, it will psychologically damage you. I asked around how to get over it quickly, and I was given advice to simply read the books again to feel better, or watch (positive) non-reader reactions on Youtube. I might do that, but I need to lie down first and take medication.
Everything is a cliffhanger, it's like you finish eating dessert and drink bitter, bitter bile to wash it down. Every character hits depressing rock bottom, and absolutely no action is logical.
And I hated those ugly Myrddraal short-skirty girly riding hood cloaks.
Trese (2021)
Original Lore and Mythology. Subpar Plot, Animation and Acting. Flat Characters.
I had to put myself in the shoes of a Western viewer. The accents may sound exotic, clipped, mixed with Latin-American dipped in some Eastern European country... but the voice acting, is just... flat, as if they're all being fake in loud mode. There is no breathing, no real emotions, even happy or frightened exclamations felt like being read from a book, and sounds like a 90s cartoon. I realized that the cast were chosen only to represent percentages of Filipino blood, their voice acting abilities thrown out the window.
Trese is a Constantine/Dresden Files cop-... no, 'inspiration'. I know there's nothing fresh and original in the world anymore, but when the unoriginal plot becomes another 'chosen one', it deeply saddens me, even though the creatures and lore are originally Filipino.
The animation is alright, as many have said, reminiscent of DC. However there is no distinguishable art or style, as lazy CGI is used every 10 seconds. If the comics where given tribute, the black and white ink would have given it some more atmosphere. Given that Trese is really an overly serious Daria, it doesn't help that she has absolutely NO character quirks. Imagine a brooding and serious Alucard being brooding and serious all the time, with zero humor or preferences... boring.
The lore may be too much to handle. But there is no need to dig in deep. Just skim the surface, there's actually no lore factor that could change the plot.
Soundtrack is good though. It's a mix of ethereal and ceremonial synthpop. Horror and Violence... not so much, as most are cut out and happen mostly to monsters. Nothing disturbing here, so no Invincible graphic death anxiety/excitement.
Overall, it's a good promotion of Filipino culture and a good amount of Filipino-baiting. But the story, characters, animation and acting are all... mediocre and boring.
Oh, and I know the real 'Hank' from whom the character is based on. He's a real bartender, ex-rockstar, ex-model. He got upset at me once for leaving him alone in a kids' party.
Star Trek: Discovery: Forget Me Not (2020)
OK Episode. Better Actors and Better Dialogues are Needed.
Not the best episode, but it's a welcome slowdown from the usual action. Sadly, -new- actors are not very good, they have very little life experience to pull from. The good newbies are mostly theater pros, not complete newbs like Blu del Barrio. There is something intrinsically wrong with the direction and dialogues too, it's obvious that both writer and director have very little social skills.
Being fascinated with Trill culture, I was happy they showed the caves, even the bulky tools in the milk pools, but really, Michael DIDN'T NEED to be there. Any other officer could have protected Adira. And, a human host can now meet all the past lives in Avatar-esque fashion (also with Avatar State glow), unlike having a Zhian'tara session with friends. The similarity could have been avoided if they stuck with the lore, but the writer doesn't realize that too many geeks have seen too many shows. Overall, 'OK episode'. Not the best, but not the worst, and at least tiny steps are taken to move the story forward.
Helstrom (2020)
Too EMO. Too much ugly family drama. Trying hard to be edgy. But Elizabeth Marvel is an amazing actor!
Ironic that in the first scene Daimon criticizes tropes in demon possession, when this series is built on tropes:
Asian tattoo artist.
Sexy woman's back while walking 90s music video style.
Dying mentor figure.
Burned victim having a perfectly half-burned face.
Annotating Bible verse numbers. Reciting excerpts from books.
Dark dungeon mental institution.
Women screaming instead of running away.
Hands rising out of being buried.
Easy to kill thugs in lumberjack attire.
Evil headquarters in port area.
Battle in an amusement park, villain talking while hiding.
Romance begins when you see the supermodel-bodied lead walk around shirtless.
Acting:
Elizabeth Marvel is awesome, she's like the sun compared to everyone, her level of voice control is amazing, I don't think any effects were used at all. Tom, Sydney, June, Robert and Alain are all very good. Tom Austen is too goodlooking to be a teacher.
Music:
Most of the music is trying hard to be edgy but has almost no connection to the scenes. Usually if a fun song is played at a grim ending, the connection is supposedly unsettling and mental, but here... it has absolutely no relation to the scene or show, just trying hard to be 'cool' like the rest of the modern shows.
Like the opening theme - absolutely nothing to connect to past eras, or anything classic or nostalgic, not even the artwork. Just being in the bandwagon with a vintage song which is the trend nowadays.
Direction/Editing:
Pacing is very bad. Actors stand in place waiting for another's reaction, doing nothing, like in a sitcom or procedural. There's useless editing, like a montage of a person having breakfast. Or having an 'earlier' scene. Why do you have to cut a portion of a day, then move it 'earlier' when you can just have told it straight? To be edgy, like the disconnected music?
Makeup/Styling:
Bad. A dark-hooded figure with a prosthetic mask. A burn victim with a face burned perfectly in half, and very, very lightly too so she still looks pretty. Daimon is too much of a model, Ana is too Uma Thurman, and please, is it too much to ask for a novice to cut her hair?
Writing:
Bad. Too many tropes. Too much anger and resentment and ugly drama. Too. Many. Flashbacks. If you grew up with a lot of siblings, or have noise sensitivity, or hate brats in general - this show is pure 10 episodes of that so might want to consider something else.
It was a not only a drag to finish the series, but a PAIN, and oh... my... God... 10 episodes of never-ending FEELINGS. Only thing beautiful here is Elizabeth Marvel's stunning performance and Tom Austen's perfect eyebrows.
The Old Guard (2020)
Beautiful Family of Warriors Needs a More Complex Plot, a Few More Tweaks to Action Scenes, and A New Series Focused on Flashbacks
Two hours isn't enough! We need more stories, more flashbacks, after all, they've lived for centuries and millennia - we need all that culture and history!
I absolutely loved this. Although the plot is 100% predictable, and the action scenes are 'a second' too slow, the acting that shows the characters undying love for each other won me over. It's the small things, eating together, sleeping together, those pure and honest smiles they have for each other, and how they completely trust each other - it's all perfect and ideal. In a fleeting world, a group of friends who will never leave each other is something so miraculously wonderful, it makes one dream to have such companions.
I still swoon over Joe and Nicky and still think about them from time to time. We need more of these two and more stories, a series please! I love how faithful it all is to the Comics, with the lines taken straight from the speech bubbles, even with the tiny screen changes. The last resolution actually complements the Comics story - that never gave a grand picture, and always focused on the never-ending tiny scenarios.
It can be argued that as old people, they could have seen through the little twist, but I always though they are -Warriors- not schemers or philosophers, and for a warrior, Wisdom grows when you know Change and Death are inevitable... so what happens when these factors are gone? You get stuck in muscle memory.
Charlize Theron is a goddess, period.
Warrior Nun (2020)
Good Story and Premise, Horrible Dialogue, Some Very Good Acting - Some Bad Acting, OK Effects.
Why do people keep casting child actors when any other age for the role would do? 9 out of 10 kids are BAD actors, and the remaining 1 would be so 'adult-trained' it's so obvious and cringey.
Most of the main actors are very good, but the minor ones are, well... you know why they have minor roles. The main story is also good, and being raised by nuns myself, I've always had a soft spot for any nun in a film/series.
Unfortunately, the dialogue is horrible, and the plot is unbearably slow. More than half of the season in, and the main character is STILL running away from the SAME issues she had in Episode 1! Alba is beautiful and can act, but the script forces her into a horribly narcissistic character. I guess the series pokes at her ugly personality as often as it can, but after 10 episodes a toxic personality is undeniably exhausting.
I wasn't going to mention the CGI since it is very forgivable, considering it's a series and location and cast can drain any effects budget. But... the large yelling, camera-shaking horned BALROG is so 1990s. The other effects are OK, except for the particular actor in a flashback scene where he's so obviously harnessed and stiff and had to tiptoe to descend - very amateurly done.
And about direction... ugh,there was a lot of moments when they had no idea where to put people. So many precious seconds wasted just 'standing' there looking intense... like really, you just captured your target and you just stand there looking at each other's faces? Also hot model boy is the epitome of a useless and throwaway character, took too much space and took too much time.
But I did love the Sister Beatrice character, and the Mother Superion actor, Sylvia de Fanti - she can do the 'act without acting' face, and even her rigid, frozen stare has a lot of impact.
Motherland: Fort Salem: Witchbomb (2020)
Smart and Consistent Writing, Visually Stunning, and Goosebumps from Adil's Tibetan-like Voice
Wow. Actual smart writing. Never would have thought of the twist, but then... it all made wonderful sense, and I was like... OF COURSE how could I have missed it!
Also, having Alder join the mission, I was thinking, how could she possibly function well physically, given then she had her own luggage of life donors. But then I saw that the old women were also deployed, serving as both sustenance and crutch to Alder.
The Tarim woman never speaking an English word, with Alder needing to speak their language - consistent! And oh how I love Adil's deep, resonating, almost-Tibetan voice. It truly synchronizes well with the earth, and it gives me goosebumps every time I hear it, I feel my skin vibrating.
The effects and the powers are very, very well executed. The abilities are all diverse, powerfully captured, and visually stunning. No need for camera tricks and panning to show action - the actors all trained well, and the stuntmen and women are all good and well-coordinated.
I love that until the 10th episode, Raelle is still using the same spellwork she used in episode 01, and that Abigail is getting better at the knife especially after the wedding. And Tally - talk about power development!
It's actually little smart, consistent things like this that makes a show really good. I'm worried and baffled why the wiki and rotten tomatoes give this show a bad rating - it's actually the BEST one I've watched since January 2020!
Siren: Northern Exposure (2020)
Relevant Scientific Information, Superb Acting by Eline Powell
Wow. The writers truly did their research on environmental science. And to apply it without an absurd magical solution, and make it as exciting and as interesting as possible. I ended up googling all about BPAs and microplastics. Whoa, a fantasy show that's actually teaching relevant scientific information today!
Good direction too, capturing all those little moments that create character. Eline Powell is already a powerful actress, but she's exponentially becoming better every episode. I can already feel her separation from her baby from the past episode, and now I can feel her anxiety over having to choose. And oh how she squished in her plane seat, I felt that too.
Oh... and I think I'm falling in love with Robb.
Siren: The Island (2020)
Attention to Detail!
Cool tiny, blink-and-you'll-miss-it detail about scent in the previous episode that preludes to this episode's ending scene.
Motherland: Fort Salem (2020)
Impressive and Original!
Ok, the screaming poster... was repulsive - to the point that you would think it's all about angry feminists... But I gave it a try, and now I'm hooked! The opening sequence is absolutely well done and beautiful and truly creates what is so called a 'new tapestry' of an alternate reality.
The world is well-thought of, and there are details that you think unnecessary, but they add up to the over all magical 'wrongness' of the world. Creepy old women with chittering jaws, the unnerving stillness of a balloon, and a bird that wriggles into the mouth.
It's too far from traditional, ceremonial witchcraft, like the film The Craft, to be considered with a realistic possibility. Perhaps it was intended to be that way - so absurd and so faithful to this absurdity that the show makes its own rules.
The effects are wonderfully done, nothing cheap. Even in a particular episode where a vocal cord was cut, the makeup made sure to show the trachea, and the (disturbing) space where it once was.
Only two more technical things were off to me, other than the ugly poster: 1, the gay dancers replacing the 'straight' jocks. That was hilariously and unintentionally CAMPY. And the acting range of the antagonist. She can play evil and sexy for sure, but shocked and afraid? No.
Overall it's a beautiful and exotic escape. So much potential! What if... the second season focused on another Fort, like the Men's fort? Whoa.
10 to raise the average rating.
Supernatural (2005)
Great Until Season 5, Downhill From There to Negative Levels
Loved the show and peaked at Season 5. That was the most amazing storytelling, most amazing characters and script for the show. There was a sense of dread, of doom, of realism and mortality, and a wonder about the hidden world and its hidden-ness. Then it went downhill from there, reverting to soap opera levels, then further down the bar to 'apathetically bad' levels. Since its peak...
1. There is no more narrative. It's become a magazine for fans, a habit, something you do in the morning and forget by midday.
2. Padalecki's acting has gotten worse. He can now barely get a sentence out of ANY scenario, be it having breakfast or walking, he stutters for every second of the scene he's in. To quote Castiel, 'I find the sound of your voice grating'.
3. Plotlines have become ridiculous nonsense. Every episode has one absurd 'rule'. Like who thought of that scene, the guinea pig in Antartica? The most hilarious I've heard is 'The first Reaper to die after Death's death becomes Death' Mwahaha!
4. It's like no one in the show cares anymore. Obviously, everyone's had more than enough, the writers are just doodling words, the directors are checking their bucket lists, and the cast's acting have become lazy and monotonous and they can't wait to clock in and go home.
5. Too many breaks. It's like the breath of the dying, or the flickering light bulb that's about to bust. Spread anything too thinly and too sparsely, and anyone will lose interest.
6. Too much fan service. I get that Supernatural is now run by fans, but some scenes force it too much. People resurrecting CONSTANTLY, queerbating, antagonists being forced to form loving and sacrificial relationships with Sam and Dean, etc.
7. Too many fillers. I get this is a procedural, but the main story of any season after S5 can be finished in 4 to 5 episodes. You'll know when a show has a bungling writer when you can distinguish the 'spirit' of the show apart from the episode, and you need a different episode to actually portray the show's spirit.
Altered Carbon (2018)
Bland Story, Boring Fight Scenes, Bad Acting, Huge Fall From Season 1
Who is this? This is NOT Takeshi Kovacs! Anthony Mackie has a revelation here - he does not have a very good range. Since Joel Kinnaman is the previous Takeshi, he should have studied and followed his style more. His Takeshi is TIRED and utilitarian, with a disembodied stare that almost watches it's own body move and breath. Mackie's Takeshi shows far too much emotion, far too much eyebrow acting. Kinnaman's Takeshi has the slack, the grit and swagger of an exhausted warrior with relaxed habits that he seems to have done things countless times before. Mackie, even after his Marvel films, has no grace, his posture is always stiff, arms are always to his sides and his neck is too stiff, as if he's thinking so hard about the script. Kinnaman knows how to sway them around, to make a dynamic, almost drunken stance, and he can control his neck and head to react to certain scenarios and emotions.
I'm not even bothered by the difference between Kinnaman and Lee, because Lee's was a younger pre-Envoy version, and in the previous season he was mostly a flashback.
And this world... is so bland and one-dimensional, it's as if it's a 2-second brain fart. No culture, no depth, no nothing. You wouldn't love the planet, you wouldn't hate it, and you definitely wouldn't care about it, after all - it's a flat drawing. It's like the groundbreaking idea is... 'oh let's put them on a different planet, and the place is a future city with rich and poor people' That's it?!
Season 2 has no flavor, no dark humor, no depth and no life. It's a plot you've seen countless times, with a script so bland and boring a highschooler could have written it. I couldn't even call Season 2 cyberpunk, it's just... 'a high tech soap'. Remember the scene when Takeshi murders all those scientists and random people and grabs his girly UNICORN backpack close - and hilariously hangs on to this random guy's severed head. There's none of that here, it's all just bangbang-talk-iloveyouforever-talk-bangbang. Mackie, and all the directors and scriptwriters... you've all just ruined a perfectly good show.
Locke & Key (2020)
Amateurish direction, cheap soundtrack, dragging script, and an extremely BORING story that will not satisfy anyone.
Looks and feels like a thoughtless high school project. CGIs are lame and looks as if made by someone stuck in the 90s. Family drama extremely shallow and unauthentic. Lines and dialogue dragged at out too long. 'Action' scenes are boring and stupid, made worse by tracks so generic you've heard them in a dozen other movies. There's a lot of 'kinda forgot' and moronic moments, they could have called this one The Boring Adventures of Dumb, Dumber and Dumbest.
The drama is useless and goes around in circles - these characters had unrelateable and microscopic issues, if you call them issues at all. Love stories are even more useless, they're just slapped right there. Situations are explained boringly and thoroughly, expecting the audience to be morons. Don't expect a final battle scene, or a good idea moment. It's all downhill, boring and uninspired, but conceited enough to expect a Season 2 by placing a cliffhanger that takes a lot of unbearable minutes to simply 'explain' again.
Not blaming the actors, they all did their best. It's all the directors' and writers' fault - they're amateurs and obviously, a little full of themselves. See 'homage' to film making and blatant baiting for a second season.
Locke & Key: Dissection (2020)
Most Idiotic and Most Amateurish Direction I've Ever Seen in a Show, EVER
Most idiotic decisions. Most inappropriate emotions. Obviously the director / writer doesn't know how long gunpoint conversations last as compared to... running across a mansion, explaining a mechanic, opening a door, going in and becoming a ghost, flying happily through the walls and out into the house, go to the gunpoint scene, talk to everyone to only realize you're a ghost, and go back achieving nothing, then go confront the gunpoint scenario still AT THE SAME SENTENCE.
Reminds me of that scene in Scary Movie, where Carmen Electra has all the most deadly weapons at her disposal and she picks a BANANA. But at least there it was intentionally hilarious, this one is so bad it's offending audience intelligence.
The 'tense' scene has been so dragged out that the lines have been repeated in some form or another. Dragged out so long and BORING that I was wishing the child or the mom or anyone gets killed horrifically just to get it over with! For a tense scene, this has the drama of a nun's funeral.
Connor Jessup is the only good actor here. Even if the direction is trash, he manages to make youth, fear, breathlessness, and panic authentic and believable. Unfortunately one good actor isn't enough to hold up an entire series.
Charmed: Guess Who's Coming to SafeSpace Seattle (2020)
Not even Eric Balfour can save this show
If you love constantly screaming women switching between hormones and violent angst who care only for themselves, then enjoy your 40 minutes of hate, blame and whine.
Code 8 (2019)
Great Sci-Fi Indie with Practical Powers, Simple But Good CGI
Special abilities are grounded and practical and not over-the-top. If you like Dragonball-Z or any massively destructive superhero fights, this might not be your cup of tea. Like electricity takes effort to jump as compared to being in contact. Heat and cold are contact powers, so if you're looking for wizard fights, there are none here.
Abilities have limits and they don't 'branch out' comics-style, like... strength that makes you invulnerable, or heat lets you throw fireballs, or mind reading makes you a mind controller - there's none of that. They're limited like normal talents, like singing or painting or dancing, which is wonderfully, almost realistic.
There's also real life issues, like prejudice and a biased legal system. However, being a short film that had to display these abilities, there's almost no time to develop characters.
Open and foreboding ending, possibly opening the door for a series. The acoustic song at the end though, while beautiful... it's better suited for -life- drama, and not sci-fi, not even sci-fi drama. Makes you think someone is obviously trying to pull heartstrings where there none.