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rhood-61980
Reviews
Five Nights at Freddy's (2023)
What Did You Expect? It's FNAF, Not SAW
Everyone dissing this movie for a lack of gore and obscenity only demonstrate their ignorance of the source material. The games weren't gory or violent, the horror was built on atmosphere and horrific implication. Sure, it's not a perfect movie, far from it, but it was a lot of fun and firmly in the spirit of the games, which left the worst details to the player's imagination. Edgelords coming in expecting to see buckets of blood and violent dismemberment were bound to be disappointed, but have NO right to complain because this movie and the games it was based on were never about any of that. It's a horror movie by classification for the same reason that movies like Gremlins and Beetlejuice get classified as horror. What it is, at its core, is a dark comedy, fun and entertainment built on building anticipation instead of dread or disgust. The story isn't great, there's plot holes needing filling and things needing explaining, and some changes made from the loose narrative of the games to suit the differing needs of a theatrical narrative structure, but overall it's a much better movie than all those unhelpful reviews give it credit for.
Bed Rest (2022)
Weak and Amateurish Waste of Time
Tldr; don't waste your time with this submid movie.
I cannot understand why anyone was raving about this lukewarm mess or why it garnered any high reviews here, unless someone paid for them. A grotesque lack of explanation for a series of illogical setup decisions, coupled with a last-minute plot twist that felt like it wasn't even in the script until halfway through filming because it had zero foreshadowing whatsoever, all amount to an uninteresting slog of a film that's barely worth the talent of the main cast. The jump scares are few, unimpactful and badly timed, there's barely any suspense and what little drama there is comes strictly from a cliché stereotype of a strained marriage. Trying to shoehorn some kind of "letting go" moral into the narrative just made it even clumsier and obnoxious, especially since said moral barely gets referenced again when the supernatural elements actually start playing out. One could easily cut off the first two thirds of the movie and make a much better short film out of just the last twenty minutes or so, since everything relevant to the climax of the plot only comes out at that point. Worse still, it's not bad -enough- to be entertainingly bad, no horrifically bad acting or overly ridiculous practical effects to laugh at, no scenery-chewing or overacting to give it any charm. Overall, the movie just feels like it was thrown together as they were filming by someone too convinced of their own brilliance to accept that they had no clue what they were doing and released with an unironic "nailed it" afterward like a cinematic cake wreck. It's not awful but it's simply not good at all.