bellsauf-57493 Reviews

Runaway Romance (2018 TV Movie)

A pleasant but incomplete movie

[7/10 · 17 May 2024]

Judging by the title graphic, I expected the lead actress to b e a spoiled starlet demanding that the Amish provide her some wifi and almond milk. Instead, Annie turns out to be a decent, down-to-earth person, and that was refreshing. The surrounding characters are pretty good, too, and the ending delivers a satisfying comeuppance. But I have to agree with the other reviewers that the storyline wasn't finished. We should have found out what happens to Sarah, whether she has to go through a forced marriage and if she has to close down her inn. All it would have taken was five minutes to explain how Annie buys the inn from Sarah, but Sarah stays on as "staff", and for Jeremiah the prospective husband to decide to go on a permanent Rumspringa (Google it).

Marlowe (2022)

Just awful

[2/10 · 31 March 2024]

With an A-list cast of Liam Neeson, Diane Kruger, the great Jessica Lange and the fantastic Alan Cumming, I thought this might be a hidden gem I hadn't heard of. There's a reason this isn't well-known, and it's because it completely reeks. There's too much glamour and color to be "noir". Every character is dull and unlikable. The dialog is frustratingly pointless and gets nothing across. The foul language is out of place, and the violence is cartoonish without the humor. There's no fun in this movie, no romantic chemistry, no satisfaction when the bad guys are disposed of and no payoff when the supposed "good guys" get what they want. Spare yourself this festering pile of nonsense.

Gilded Newport Mysteries: Murder at the Breakers (2024 TV Movie)

Atrocious acting

[2/10 · 20 February 2024]

I was so looking forward to this as I am a fan of Hallmark mysteries and have been very impressed with their period works like "Three Beds, Two Bathrooms and One Ghost" (with the incredible Madeline West) and "A Biltmore Christmas". But, this movie is a huge failure.

The entire cast (except for Nanny) is awful, with the lead actress sleepwalking her way through the role. The lead detective looks like a surfer dude and the third component of this "love triangle" is a complete bore. Add to that a story with horrible pacing and some unbelievably sophomoric detective work. I finally fast-forwarded to the last 10 minutes to find out whodunit because I couldn't take it anymore.

Hallmark, you've been warned. If this really is the first episode of a series, recast the main leads and for crying out loud, enough with the dopey curls!

A Country Romance (2021 TV Movie)

Ambien in movie form

[3/10 · 23 October 2023]

The other reviewers are pretty much echoing my sentiments about this film. The lead actress is just awful, although it's hard to make to like a character who is so dumb about harvesting grapes that she Googles "graping" to find out what to do. Jonathan Bennett, who was the main reason for watching, doesn't seem to be working all that hard. And the plot holes are ridiculous. The dad doesn't have farmhands he hires on a regular basis to harvest the grapes? Who puts a hotel in the middle of a vineyard? The acting, save for the niece, is BAD. I know films like these aren't supposed to be great cinema, but that's not an excuse to have a lame story, weak actors and terrible pacing.

A Harvest Homecoming (2023 TV Movie)

Unbeleafable

[5/10 · 13 October 2023]

Great American Family is trying hard to compete with Hallmark, but these movies continually look cheap and cut obvious corners. As other reviewers have pointed out, the leaf decor is over the top and ridiculous. No pumpkins or hay bales, and not one apple in sight -- at an apple orchard! Also, there's no character development and the story is too simple to stretch into a full-length feature. Where had Jessica Lowndes and her son been living before coming to Chestnut Hollow? What happened to her kid's father? Is he in the picture? Who is her best friend who drops by occasionally? How did this orchard stay in business without obvious things like a petting zoo and a maze? And isn't Trevor Donovan at 40 a little old to still be searching for a permanent life? GAF is certainly a player in these types of movies, but so far Hallmark continues to eat their lunch.

One Perfect Match (2023)

Why does everyone love this movie so much?

[4/10 · 5 October 2023]

I've loved Joshua Sasse since "Galavant" and Merritt Patterson is plenty reliable, but this movie underperforms. The pacing is painfully slow -- basically 100 minutes of "I like him but he's my client and I can't date him!" and him not liking his date but not having the spine to say so. The acting from the supporting players is weak and the direction is plodding. And as is typical of GAF movies, the whole thing screams cheap. The guy is the owner of a big hedge fun but he has no papers on his desk? She's a famous matchmaker with a huge client base but has a dinky office and only one assistant? I honestly don't know why this garners so much praise, aside from the holy rollers at GAF in jubilation over a movie that doesn't dare divert from a white cisgender model.

Haul Out the Holly (2022 TV Movie)

Couldn't finish it

[1/10 · 19 December 2022]

I'll have to rely on others to tell me how this ends because I turned it off after 15 minutes. Lacey's character is treated like absolute garbage by her loser boyfriend and then by her selfish parents who disregard her wishes and saddle her with a job barfing up Xmas even though she said it was the last thing she wanted to do. Had my Mom and Dad done this to me, I would've shared the cab to the airport and flown someplace warm on their dime. I guess she inherits the house at the end? I'd sell it in a heartbeat in order to get away from that psycho neighborhood and their cult-like draconian HOA rules. How did the guy who wrote the lovely and tender "Five More Minutes" write this horrible story? Do yourselves a favor and skip this mess.

Sister Swap: A Hometown Holiday (2021 TV Movie)

Why?

[2/10 · 22 December 2021]

I have no idea why anyone gives this a high rating. No plausible storyline, Meg was annoying, no chemistry between the leads and the whole side story with the theatre was sloppily handled. Just a lot of saccharine with Xmas backdrop. Hard pass.