Another of Roger Corman's classic Poe films. While the first half an hour is a little long to watch, the rest of the film builds into a macabre and mad piece of horror. It's twisted and devilishly creepy. What I found amazing about this flick is the amazing and colorful sets. And good old Vincent Price is fiendishly unnerving as ever in this pic. And while maybe not equal to Corman's later Poe film The Raven (1963), which was much more amusing rather than scary, this film sticks well to the scary Edgar Allan Poe tone.
Reviews
452 Reviews
I Drink Your Blood
(1971)
This is only for the true lovers of cult exploitation films, it could've been a lot better...
22 April 2020
This movie was very disappointing. It started out as intriguing and unsettling, but later just turns into this tedious and crazy mess. Satanic, burnt-out hippies spreading murderous havoc had a lot of potential for a good horror film. It felt like a mix between Romero's Night of the Living Dead (1968) and Cronenberg's Rabid (1977). But unfortunately, the script is a mess, the acting is pretty bad, and it just makes the flick boring. The only things that redeem it a little is the buckets of enjoyable, cheap gore, and surprisingly, the music is actually pretty good.
Phoenix Forgotten
(2017)
Lord all mighty this movie was boring!
22 April 2020
The theme material is very interesting, and the fact that it tackles a partially real life event was something that should've given it a real shot at being a good movie. And yet, it's a very bad one. The acting is a little dry, and the film just relies on quirky camera work, something that has been done countless times before, in order to scare us. But it barely has any moments worth watching, and the pic loses its credibility quite quickly. And the third half also feels quite half-assed. Overall, this alien themed rip off of the scary The Blair Witch Project (1999) is disappointing and just not worth seeing...
The Salvation
(2014)
It's a good attempt at trying to revive a dying, classic genre, and for western fans like me, this could be an enjoyable treat!
22 April 2020
A Danish western filmed in South Africa, sounds like a new form of spaghetti western right? For a modern day western, The Salvation is a decent pic, but I didn't find it flawless. The character development is too thin, and the main lead act by Mads Mikkelsen is memorable but there isn't enough emotion to it, I found. It is gritty, but not as violent and gory as it claims itself to be as well, which is disappointing.
The Gentlemen
(2019)
God damn if Guy Ritchie isn't still better than anyone else on the planet at making exactly this movie
22 April 2020
This movie has had me anticipating because he made King Arthur and that's is a bad movie and I was hoping he would have made a good movie and he has made a good movie. I like how they tell the story for the main storyline is flashbacks and they weave the real-time and flashbacks well. I love Matthew McConaughey in every movie and especially this one when he is the boss of a company and when he is slow-talking and his performance is very good in this movie. This movie has such a stacked cast and I loved all of the performances. Some of the action scenes are very good and it feels so smooth. The score is surprisingly good and I really liked it. I really liked the script but it is inconsistent and the script is just such so fun. There are some cliche moments in this movie and it is kinda disappointing. The movie is predictable especially in the later second act and in the third act and I really wish it wasn't predictable. They do flesh out their characters but I wish they fleshed them out some more if they did I would move my rating up more but they didn't.
Sonic the Hedgehog
(2020)
I would recommend it to mostly everyone but mainly kids
22 April 2020
I surprisingly I liked this more than I thought I would have because I haven't really watched any sonic or played any sonic. I love Jim Carrey in this movie and he is my favorite part about this movie and you can tell he is having such a fun time in this movie. He has two Quick Silver scenes when are some of my favorite moments of the year so far and the sequences are amazing. This movie is more of a kid-friendly movie and you can expect that will a character like this and isn't really surprising. They are going to do a sequel and they do, do a post-credit scene like the MCU which I don't really like but some will but I didn't. They have some solid acting and the voice acting from Ben Schwartz is very good. The animation and CGI is one of my favorite things about 2020 so far. Like I said the action sequences are amazing and they are some of my favorite moments of 2020 so far and the QuickSilver scenes are some of my favorites of 2020. James Marsden and Ben Schwartz chemistry work so well and it is mostly entertaining. It is kid-friendly which means it will have the cliche poop jokes and they do and almost all of the jokes are kid-friendly and most jokes I didn't laugh at and the jokes were just bland and cliche. This is a very cliche movie and you have all of the cliches from every movie and it is annoying at times. The script is bad and the character development is there but they didn't flesh the characters out enough and that means I didn't really care for anyone besides Sonic.
Thunderball
(1965)
Above average across the board, it falls just shy of the franchise's upper echelons
22 April 2020
007 is on the case of two stolen A-bombs in this dash of action-espionage from the Caribbean. This installment leans a bit heavy on the costumes, wacky gizmos and one-line zingers, far more than any of the more-serious preceding chapters, but then, such is the franchise and it does get worse from here. Sean Connery is at the height of his powers as Bond at this point, completely enveloping the screen with his showy swagger and gruff confidence. It's a testament to his fitness for the part that he's able to deliver so many forced, corny lines and not just caress the stink off, but actually make them seem suave and witty. Thunderball's action is fair, though somewhat limited as an awful lot of it happens underwater, and dozens of colorful faces pop up on both sides of the struggle. It's cheeky and silly in a way that only could've been spawned in the '60s, but generally knows when it's pushing things too far and relaxes accordingly.
Tillie's Punctured Romance
(1914)
A curiosity as a vivid piece of living, breathing history
22 April 2020
Charlie Chaplin plays a close approximation of his Tramp character in this quick cut of superficial slapstick with an undercurrent of dark humor. I wasn't aware until after the fact that this was actually the very first feature-length comedy in cinematic history, but in retrospect that explains a lot. In some ways the film is downright visionary, but in many others it clearly isn't quite sure what to do with itself. The plot is barely one-note, cyclical and redundant to the end - the same characters keep getting put in the same situations over and over again - which leads me to believe it was just a case of a single-reel premise stretched over the length of a full flick. Chaplin, still discovering his on-screen sea legs, shows a ton of command and potential, but his performance is often raw and uneven. Mabel Normand is adorable as his on-screen counterpart, a fellow con-artist out to get her cut of the riches Chaplin so gracelessly pursues. A curiosity as a vivid piece of living, breathing history, it doesn't have much up its sleeve and really drags despite a very short runtime.
Chopping Mall
(1986)
Crammed full of stupid decisions, silly special effects, well-glazed acting and tits, tits, tits, it's got everything you'd expect from the genre and the period... except chop
22 April 2020
A fistful of teenaged mall employees hold a drunken after-hours orgy at the end of their shift, just days after the installation of three roving anti-theft robots on the premises. In a typical bit of B-movie magic, the control suite is struck by half a dozen bolts of lightning and the automatons begin indiscriminately slaughtering everything with two legs and a pulse. Did I mention this is a Roger Corman production? Mired in the trappings of every bad direct-to-video slasher to ever burst upon the scene in the 1980s, it's deliciously, laughably awful. Although they produce sounds on par with a blender set to puree every time they're on-screen, these bots are able to routinely sneak up on their unsuspecting prey throughout the film, slinking like cats through the night. They're far from intimidating, with bulky tank treads and tiny little T-Rex arms to spin and clap for no particular purpose, but I suppose the kids' fear of them is somewhat justified after seeing a friend's head turned to mash by a well-placed laser shot. These monsters prefer to do their killing with beams of searing pink light.
The Last Man on Earth
(1964)
A strong effort that falls puzzlingly short in a number of different ways
22 April 2020
An aging Vincent Price takes the lead in this early interpretation of Richard Matheson's dystopian source material, recently mined by Will Smith in I Am Legend. It's a dark, troubling picture that's far more bleak and unflinching than its contemporaries. I don't consider the '60s to be a terribly fertile period for such eerie, subdued science fiction / horror mashups, but despite a few off-putting slips this holds up admirably. Price is miscast in the lead, awkwardly overplaying the emotionless, hollow aspects of the central character, even in flashbacks where it's completely inappropriate. He feels out of place as a doting, caring father - often speaking around his daughter like she isn't even in the room - and that tears away some of the natural sympathy of his plight later in the picture. The creatures that constantly plague him are effectively spooky, so long as they keep their mouths closed. A certain ambiance is lost when the shuffling human monster outside the barricaded window knows your name and encourages you to "c'mon out" in the wee hours of the morning. This was a lesson well-learned by George A. Romero, who's admitted the monsters' portrayal in this film directly influenced his beasts in the seminal Night of the Living Dead a few years later. As an exercise in world-building, this is a broad success. It's tangible, vivid and realistic. The plot flails around absurdly at times, though, and the finale is a mish-mashed mess that doesn't make a whole lot of sense. A strong effort that falls puzzlingly short in a number of different ways, it's remarkable in several others.
Diamonds Are Forever
(1971)
Unless you're a dedicated completist, keep your distance
22 April 2020
A real disaster of a flick that clearly reflects the uncertainty and disarray surrounding the franchise at the time. With George Lazenby out of the picture and a small cavalcade of fill-ins dropping off for one reason or another, EON pressed the panic button and brought Sean Connery out of mothballs for a swan song. It's a mistake from the very start. Not only does Connery look unreasonably old for the part, he badly overplays his confidence and worldliness, often coming off as desperate and smarmy. The screen is crowded with gaudy sideshow characters, including a trashy, ditsy leading lady and two villainous hitmen who seem far more concerned with excessively elaborate setups than actually doing away with anybody. Even longtime nemesis Blofeld, who may have been the sole beacon of excellence in the equally-forgettable You Only Live Twice, is ruined by an awful recasting, horrendous new personality quirks and a master plan that makes no sense whatsoever. But that's par for the course, really, as the plot at large is peppered with so many dumb jokes and absurd asides that just keeping up with this swerving, goofball storyline is a challenge worthy of MI-6. There's a good car chase midway through the second act (which loses some steam thanks to a similar pursuit, just a few minutes earlier, involving a freaking moon rover) and a few of the gags are so mind-blowingly stupid that I couldn't help but laugh, but otherwise this is a completely insignificant chapter in the character's long, speckled history.
That the series darted straight back to the old, familiar mess of silly names, bad puns and dense rivers of cheese
22 April 2020
The black sheep of the James Bond catalog, for just about every reason under the sun. I suppose we can start with Bond himself, played for the first (and only) time by George Lazenby. An extremely green, unseasoned actor, Lazenby just hasn't the chops to do anything with the character. He's certainly got the right look for the part, and he shines especially bright in the punch-outs, which seem far more vivid and realistic than the fisticuffs of the late Connery era, but in terms of intangibles he's all wrong. He lacks the unspoken confidence and worldliness I expect from 007, the charm and charisma that makes this character who (or what) he is. Like Telly Savalas, who struggles to fit in as the villainous Ernst Blofeld, Lazenby may have fit well enough into a similar film, but here he's totally out-of-place. The plot deserves points for poking in new directions, granting Bond a tangible sense of vulnerability and (of all things) an actual conscience, but I'm afraid that only compounds its problems. The frosty scenery is nice, as are the rampant chase scenes aboard an odd cluster of mixed vehicles, but I don't have kind things to say about much else. That the series darted straight back to the old, familiar mess of silly names, bad puns and dense rivers of cheese in the follow-up, Diamonds Are Forever, is really no surprise. Still, I can't help but wonder what might have been if EON had stuck to their guns and pressed on through this particular set of growing pains.
Chronicle
(2012)
Excellent as a rough sketch or a proof of concept, flat as a finished product
22 April 2020
This awkward blend of several trendy genres has something to say, but can't quite work out the right way to say it. As the meeting point between superhero origin pictures, found footage compilations and moody coming-of-age stories, it arrives pre-loaded with all manner of tripmines and potholes, so numerous that it can't hope to avoid them all. It feels hokey and gimmicky, particularly when the action grows intense and the plot bends over backwards for an excuse to introduce more handheld cameras. The cast interactions feel rushed and shallow, hurrying past crucial bits of character development to reach the precious prize of a shiny effects shot. And even those, presumably the film's sizzle, unanimously feel weak and clunky. Chronicle has a point, and the ruminations it embraces about the underbellies of each genre have loads of potential. It's just so poorly executed, nearly across the board, that it's tough to focus on what's going on beneath the hood.
Live and Let Die
(1973)
An effective opening statement for Roger Moore's validity in the role, it's otherwise a groan-worthy batch of bad ideas and missed connections
22 April 2020
Roger Moore is surprisingly adept in his first run as legendary super-spy James Bond. While failed replacement George Lazenby may have better looked the part, Moore's understanding of the nuances and intangibles that define the character are dead-on. He feels cocksure, smooth and cunning, albeit not quite as deadpan as Sean Connery, and that makes him quite easy to swallow as the new leading man. Unfortunately, his first outing is not among the character's best. Overwhelmed with trendy stereotypes from the blaxploitation era, those connections seem mismatched and strained, as if the series is trying too hard to be fresh and contemporary at its own expense. Far too many outlandish characters crowd the screen, too, from the body-painted voodoo lord Baron Samedi to the gimmicky, iron-clawed henchman Tee Hee Johnson (who, naturally, giggles in every single scene). We've got a tarot card-reading virgin dubbed Solitaire, a soft-spoken behemoth named Whisper, an overzealous hayseed sheriff plucked straight from The Dukes of Hazzard and a villainous mastermind who specializes in Mission: Impossible-styled makeup effects. It's too much, a wash of color so rich that the picture turns grey. Bond's wacky gizmos are sadly downplayed (poor Q doesn't even get to show his face), while the plot seemingly exists only to transition Moore from one drawn-out chase to the next. I'm still not entirely sure where Mr. Big's endgame was meant to carry him. Even the classic McCartney theme song, which I love on its own merit, is a bad fit for the series.
Hot Rod
(2007)
It's precisely how the trailer makes it seem: really, really stupid
22 April 2020
An overlooked bit of screwball comedy from the members of The Lonely Island and a few of their mid-2000 SNL cohorts. Andy Samberg grabs the lead as the titular Rod, a misguided but confident would-be stuntman whose efforts always climax in a spectacular disaster. Rod is about as one-dimensional as any recurring sketch comedy character, which is to say he's got one note to play and he milks it like a rancher with idle hands. Along for the ride, Bill Hader, Danny McBride (playing, surprise, another version of Kenny Powers), Ian McShane (grievously underused) and a white-hot Isla Fisher, are even narrower. After five minutes you'll know exactly how it's going to play out. This kind of movie isn't usually about character development, though, and as a playground for comedians to wear silly t-shirts and frequently cut away to questionably-related asides, it's suitable enough. Good for a few loud howls, but it lacks consistency, substance and identity. Its greatest sin is taking a decent gag and riding it wayyyy too long, a'la Family Guy's most indulgent moments. In short, it's precisely how the trailer makes it seem: really, really stupid. Points for an excellent butt rock / hair metal soundtrack, though.
This could have been an excellent one-act show
22 April 2020
The follow-up to 1954's excellent Musashi Miyamoto, Duel at Ichijoji Temple picks up the story several years later, as an exiled orphan-turned-swordsman gains notoriety via a bloody tour of fatal duels. His reputation precedes him in returning to his hometown, where old rivals of both a violent and intimate nature await. This is a film about personal growth - specifically that of the samurai himself, who struggles to learn the key concepts of what his new life actually entails and where the rift lies between honor and reverence. We're never quite sure if Musashi takes this lesson to heart, particularly since he's so keen to maintain an impenetrable outer facade in almost every situation. It's a tricky role for period veteran Toshiro Mifune, who struggles with the more nuanced, flatter aspects of the character. In the previous episode, with the fires of young-adulthood to toy with, he excelled. Here, faced with the malaise of mid-life and the accompanying questions of his own being, his performance is far less sublime. The plot, cramped with too many faces and several seemingly-pointless subplots, does him no favors in dancing around the issues and repeating itself on more than one occasion. This could have been an excellent one-act show, and the final half-hour could still stand alone as precisely that. It lacks the gumption of its predecessor, however, and too often cuts away just as the action is getting good.
The Man with the Golden Gun
(1974)
Quirky titular killer nudges this into the top half of Bond's catalog
22 April 2020
A nice return to form for the series, after wading in cheese up to their knees with the preceding Live and Let Die. It won't be giving From Russia With Love or Goldfinger a run for their money, but as the back-to-basics reality check that the series so desperately needed, this is more than acceptable. Roger Moore confidently plays a tougher, more businesslike Bond this time around, and spends most of the production flexing his detective chops in search of a rival assassin with nothing more to go on than the color of his weapon and a quick, curious nipple count. Stocked with fresh, exotic locales, skimpy beauties dressed for the beach, an adequate number of wacky, themed sidekicks (as in, less than the full dozen of the former picture) and a cool, legitimate master threat, this is pretty much the root formula for a good adventure with 007. Occasionally it gives in to a passion for pointless boat chases, and a few bad remnants of the era rear their head at inopportune moments (what was with the slide whistle during that massive car jump?) but such silly bits of self-indulgence are a part of the franchise's heritage at this point. Excellent work by Christopher Lee as the quirky titular killer nudges this into the top half of Bond's catalog.
Bachelor Party
(1984)
Raunchy, easygoing frat boy entertainment that could only have come from the 1980s.
22 April 2020
Crammed with all the hallmarks of party films from that decade - glaring fashion choices, oodles of saxophone, frequent gratuitous nudity and tons of recreational drugs - it's wafer-thin and proud. The title pretty much tells you all you'll need to know about the plot, which frees up the rest of its running time to go nuts with blasphemous humor and increasingly inebriated acts of questionable legal standing. It's a perfect fit alongside the wild-eyed greats of its generation; Caddyshack, Animal House and Revenge of the Nerds, make some room. Tom Hanks sometimes presses too hard to look crazy, unruly and cool, and often leaves us wondering how anyone could agree to marry such a slob (this may be the first time I've ever agreed with the pensive father-of-the-bride in this kind of movie), but when the music starts blaring he makes for a great master of ceremonies and that's really what the role called for. Pointed and unpredictable, balls-out and funny as hell, it's fantastic at what it sets out to do.
The Man with One Red Shoe
(1985)
Harmless, but also useless
18 April 2020
An absolutely pointless, witless, aimless sendup of the spy genre that manages to flame out on the runway despite its name-studded cast. Tom Hanks is the center of attention, to the surprise of none, as his usual aloof '80s bachelor in search of more than just another one-night stand. His character's unfortunate choice of footwear on a long flight leaves him tangled in a web of espionage and deceit; a hapless patsy in a high-stakes game of cloak and dagger. Jim Belushi and Carrie Fisher support, in roles that don't really go anywhere or mean anything, and work no miracles with the base-level material. It's an unfocused film with no ambition, no personality and a bald, spell-it-out sense of humor that's better for eye rolls than snickers.
Volunteers
(1985)
It's inoffensive and flashy but not all that memorable
18 April 2020
Tom Hanks and John Candy lead us on this shallow, silly tour of an unusually volatile Peace Corp mission to Thailand. Both play wacky charicatures - Hanks as a snooty Connecticut socialite in the wrong place, Candy a naive simpleton with two left feet - and that extra dash of color ultimately saves the picture from sliding into the deepest dregs. Though the plot revolves around the construction of a massive wooden bridge to benefit the natives, we spend most of the picture watching Hanks's Kennedy wannabe struggle to emerge from his loathsome, self-absorbed shell, largely inspired by the unrequited affections of fellow missionary Rita Wilson. The pair would actually spark a lifelong romance during filming (they're still together today, bucking the Hollywood norm) but the on-set chemistry doesn't translate to anything special on the screen. Lightly humorous in the spirit of an only-okay SNL sketch, it's inoffensive and flashy but not all that memorable.
The Money Pit
(1986)
Feels flat
18 April 2020
Every new homeowner's worst nightmare, as experienced by a pair of almost-average mid '80s DINKs. They sink a fortune into this place, a secluded estate that looks too good to be true and, of course, falls apart around them mere moments after key touches palm. Mid-lifers will find it easy to relate with this couple, played by Tom Hanks and Shelley Long, as they seem familiar and good-natured if a bit naive. Their ability to procure huge sums of money at the drop of a hat is a red flag, though, and the soapy complications of their personal lives actually serve to distance them from the audience. Hanks is a riot, especially when he descends into madness at the height of his misery, but Long may as well have been a wooden set piece. Try as he might, our leading man just can't draw a performance out of her and the duo's serious lack of chemistry is a problem. Funny in a Seinfeldian car crash, looking-through-our-fingers kind of way, the plot skips over the moment where its players' fates shift from disaster to redemption and the payoff, as a result, feels flat.
Nothing in Common
(1986)
Too overstuffed and vague to recommend
18 April 2020
Jackie Gleason, in his final film role, plays the icy, stonewalling father of a hyperactive, professional Tom Hanks. There's a good message at the core of this one, about the impenetrable veneer expected of men from his generation and the dire effects it bore on those around him. Hanks, a smooth-talking corporate '80s ad exec, and Gleason, a foot-to-pavement salesman struggling to deal with the end of his career, manage well with the heavy stuff while occasionally injecting a few welcome dashes of humor and sarcasm to the mix. The film is flawed, though, in its unbridled lack of restraint. Every last supporting character hints at a big, convoluted back story and many of them are halfheartedly explored. That diverts attention away from the key players and leaves us with what seems like one big, fuzzy, unfocused batch of incomplete or unfulfilling arcs. There's simply too much to keep track of, and too much time wasted with characters we don't care about. Noteworthy as the stage where Hanks showed he could be more than just a comic player, but otherwise it's too overstuffed and vague to recommend.
Mazes and Monsters
(1982 TV Movie)
It's a living stereotype, the very essence of a bad made-for-TV movie
18 April 2020
A full-on smear campaign about the evils of Dungeons and Dragons, from the height of the parental outcry against the game. Funny and sad in the same context as Reefer Madness, it's akin to a long after-school special in the blunt, inelegant way it hammers away at its only point. An extremely young Tom Hanks, freshly released from his run on Bosom Buddies, cut his teeth on more serious material in this leading role. As the poor sap who nosedives into deep mental illness as a direct result of the game, his part is madly corny and he clearly had some growing pains to work through before becoming the dramatic juggernaut we'd all come to know a decade later. Badly produced, terribly acted, smug and boring and predictable to the final reveal, it's a living stereotype, the very essence of a bad made-for-TV movie.
The Bridge
(I) (2006)
How real is *too* real?
18 April 2020
An expectedly sober documentary that concerns itself with the unsettling allure of the Golden Gate Bridge as a popular suicide destination. It's sad but not mopey, interspersing long, lingering frames of the bridge in various weather conditions (often punctuated by a sudden, jarring splash beneath the span) with reflections upon the jumpers' troubled lives by their friends and family members. In a way it's heartening that so many of the subjects are calm, collected and rational about the event, having properly worked their way through the various stages of grief and come out the other side. They're changed, but they're also intact. Footage of the jumps themselves, collected through a year-long observation via telephoto lens, offer a vivid glimpse into these poor souls' most private moments. They vary from startling to heartbreaking, and often border on the voyeuristic. In one sense, it feels improper to share that intimate moment of climactic decision with strangers, but in another it lends their stories a sense of magnitude. These aren't just names in a list, empty faceless stories without a tether to our own reality - they're distinct individuals, emotively struggling to cope with something that's too large for their own conscience. As we hear the tale that led them to such a dark pit of despair, we see them quite physically grappling with that maddening choice. It's some of the most inarguably real footage I've ever seen on film, but I guess the greatest question here is; how real is *too* real?
Apt Pupil
(1998)
Rarely has much to say
18 April 2020
Ian McKellan is a Nazi war criminal hiding long-term in suburban America. Four decades after the war, a bright high school student with a fascination about WWII marks him on a bus ride and the two embark on a lengthy game of one-upsmanship. Oddly, the kid seems the more villainous of the two, though McKellan is himself far from heroic. I can't shake the sense that the concept was more daring than the film in this case. Featuring a Nazi in a decidedly grey light is a different take, for sure, but I felt like the filmmakers were always too afraid to go anywhere truly risqué with that material, and the core relationship between the two leads is toothless and pantomimed. Maybe that can be primarily chalked up to acting - Brad Renfro, who plays the kid, is positively grating in the role - but even removing that from the equation doesn't completely settle my stomach. It's a film that dances and loiters, but rarely has much to say of genuine power or meaning; wannabe edgy, using the taboo of an old war uniform to mask a serious lack of substance. Even the big reveal at the end, when everything comes apart at the seams, is hollow, telegraphed and half an hour behind schedule.
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