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NicOldert
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The Killer (2023)
Stylish but pointless
The first 15 minutes gives one hope that this is going to be a great movie with interesting character development, some insight into the mind of an assassin, the cold-blooded killing machine too often portrayed in movies as a cipher (the relentless killer, a trope, is invariable a person lacking certain all-too-human characteristics). And then, unfortunately, the lead character turns into just another formulaic relentless killer. The fact that he finally finds himself unable to suppress a certain vengeafulness is mildly interesting, but character development essentially stops about a third of the way through. After that you might as well be watching Vin Diesel. It's a pity, because Michael Fassbender and David FIncher could have done so much more with this.
Call Me by Your Name (2017)
I gnawed my arm off
I've literally had more pleasure watching paint dry. Indulgent directing, drawn-out scenes, a dull story of infatuation and a fatuous professor. It even makes Northern Italy look unappealing. All the hype... a case of the emperor's new clothes?
Game of Thrones: The Long Night (2019)
Mindless improbable slaughter
GoT is addictive... and increasingly boring and ridiculous the nearer you get to the end. The only reason to watch this episode at all is to see how it ends. Don't waste an hour of your life -- watch 1 minute of every 10 and for the first half and then skip to the last 10 minutes and you'll know everything you need to know. The rest is just endless animated corpses behaving like enraged starving insects.
The Buccaneers (1995)
An Enjoyable Adaptation
We almost gave up at the end of the first episode, which is slow moving and frivolous -- endless scenes of giggling young ladies behaving like thirteen year old girls. But by the end of the second episode we were glad we persisted. In the context of the full story, the carefree lives of the American girls before they get to England, although overdone, is a necessary contrast. This five episode mini-series is a watchable adaptation of Edith Wharton's last (and unfinished) novel. The characters are well drawn, the settings are sumptuous, and the depiction of upper-class English life in the late nineteenth century is believable and illuminating.
World's Greatest Dad (2009)
A good idea gone horribly wrong
The most aggravating thing about World's Greatest Dad is that it *could* have been a good movie. The underlying plot idea is plausible and could be used to reveal the many levels of human self-deception. But the idea is handled so crudely that the movie becomes completely improbable. The characters, with only one or two exceptions, are unconvincing. There is no hint as to what Claire (Alexie Gilmore)sees in Lance Clayton (Robin Williams), and Kyle Clayton is too one-dimensional: nobody is that unrelentingly awful. If a man like Lance -- finding, due to hiding his shame, an outlet for his frustrated ambitions -- were to recant, it would be years down the line, not in the midst of the spotlight. I found the movie so jarring that I had to force myself to see it through. Die-hard Robin Williams' fans will disagree, but once again this actor plays his only character -- Robin Williams. In the end, this film doesn't know whether it's a comedy or a morality play, and one teenage character being shockingly inappropriate is only funny to other teenagers.
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010)
Avoid this movie unless you're a teenage girl in love with Edward
The hype surrounding the Twilight saga ensures that movie houses are filled to capacity for this third installment, but the truth is that this film is so bad it should be shredded. The plot is so weak that if it wasn't for the endless (and boring) conversation between Bella and Edward about whether she should become a vampire there would be no plot at all. The rationale for the attack of the newborns is feeble and Bella's familial relationships vacuous. If the characters were one-dimensional they would gain a full dimension in weight. The absurd inconsistencies are, in fact, the only source of entertainment -- like the fact that Bella struggles with hypothermia while in her big thick sleeping bag but, the next morning, stands outside in the snow in a light fleece without so much as a shiver. The movie, obviously, targets teenage girls in love with Pattinson and Lautner; everyone else should avoid it.