neko1962 Reviews

Shortcut (II) (2020)

Stranger Things Italian Style

[4/10 · 29 April 2023]

Super-size five kids from Stranger Things, then place them in an old airport shuttle bus ,thank you Hertz Milan, and have them cross paths with the scary monster by committee and wham, you've created an expensive Stranger Things episode Italian style.

Think I exaggerate? Check out the pre-tunnel road sign strewn among the shrubbery. Really?

This was posted as having a 1.2 million Euro budget and director can't aquire an old sign in English? Or make one for a few bucks?

Too funny.

And yes, this movie is really funny. Really humorous 'if' not taken seriously.

And not taken as horror for a moment you have a film young people on chemicals would enjoy on a Friday night.

All that's required? Have Woody Allen (not the real guy just someone copying his style) re-write the dialog and this movie revails " What's Up Tiger Liley?".

I give it a 4 star rating. A solid "four".

Why?

Because 1.2 million Euros spent inspired my own writing and I feel bad for the movie's investors.

The Last of Us (2023– )

Disappointing in so so many ways

[6/10 · 23 March 2023]

Any episode of The Walking Dead seasons 1 through 5 or Black Summer is better than every single episode of HBO's The Last of Us.

The series brings nothing new and what it does bring is less less than. Less fear and less drama. I say drama because there is no chemistry between the older male lead and the younger girl. None.. no chemistry whatsoever. In fact they would have been better off having them as enemies the entire show . Because of the limited amount of cast members you are stuck looking at our heroin constantly and her face nearly in every scene for overly long exposures. And that was difficult even for a horror series. No offense, she is odd looking and she is difficult to look at. Difficult to look at and unable to express her feelings through mannerisms or facial expressions. She is simply not heavy enough to be a lead. She is a secondary character actress and the friend of a friend.

I challenge anyone here watch one episode of Black Summer and any episode of The Walking Dead seasons 1 through 5 and you will see how everyone of those episodes are superior to ANY episode off The Last of Us presented at any time.

Silent Night (I) (2021)

Silent Message in Color.

[6/10 · 17 December 2021]

. This movie is about as depressing as they come.

No joy, only sadness. Makes "Silent Night Deadly Night" appear Hallmark channel friendly.

Yea. A Bum-mer.

Nonetheless I had some questions.

Questions such as why begin exploring a character's personal fear(s) of death...and then back off.

Why drop it? It seemed logical at the time. Death and all that.

The apocalypse.

Why?

Then dive into others individual personal dramas...presented in that festive group setting.

Then back out again. It was their last chance to get it all out there before death and all that.

The apocalypse.

Why?

But there must be some reason right? Like an unseen message perhaps?

A motive. And that bugged me all night.

What could that motive be?

It came to me what it was. The message was: "Question Everything!"; Very Greek. Very Socrates. Very college. Very Left.

Very Blue state-ish. California style.

Makes sense.

You know what I mean. The Left. Liberals. That veiled liberal message. We've all seen it before. Those people... Esa gente And still, I had questions.

Couldn't sleep a wink thinking on it.

Perhaps it was simply a poorly written movie?? Bad day at the Hollywood Writers Guild.

Bugged me though. All night.

Then like that sun came shining through the clouds of stupidity; I got it (again).

The message was not "Question Everything", but question SOME things.

But what?? Hmmm The word government was mentioned enough times to be an echo. Could be a clue... You heard it too.

It must be ......the Government!

Question the Government! Very Jeffersonian.

The government and the scientists. You heard it. Me too.

Don't trust the government's scientists. Guys like Robert Neville (they always die in the end). You know.... Richard Matheson's guy. Never bet on those guys.

That's not blue state-ish. Not Left. Nope that's......um red!

Red. Yes, I said a different color.

Red like my sister's politics. Serious serious red.

Red like Texas and Nevada. That Camo-R E D traditional message from the Right.

You know what I mean: Conservatives.

We've all seen it before. Those people... Esa gente.

Never trust government scientists during the apocalypse. Or was that a really bad pandemic? I don't know.

Stay with me here, I'm working.

Yet trust in...in.... the family (very red...) for advice? They would know for sure. Family first during the holidays always.

We love them so they must know!

Makes sense.

And what about those drugs? Vaccines uh no uh I meant pills the government wants them to take.

Drugs are bad, right?

Oh FYI, don't take those drugs. They could kill you. Something in them called poison. The government wants to poison us to make IT better. A better and more tolerable apocalypse.

It should be at the least tolerable. Tolerable during The Yuletide.

Message solved: Government bad, scientists bad, that drug really bad, and listen to the kids for crying out loud -the little ones know. Perfect sense.

A holiday message via Holly-wood. Merry Christmas.

Silent Night (I) (2021)

Silent Message in Colors.

[6/10 · 16 December 2021]

Silent Message in Colors.

This movie is about as depressing as they come.

No joy, only sadness. Makes "Silent Night Deadly Night" appear Hallmark channel friendly.

Yea. A Bum-mer.

Nonetheless I had some questions.

Questions such as why begin exploring a character's personal fear(s) of death...and then back off.

Why drop it? It seemed logical at the time. Death and all that.

The apocalypse.

Why?

Then dive into others individual personal dramas...presented in that festive group setting.

Then back out again. It was their last chance to get it all out there before death and all that.

The apocalypse.

Why?

But there must be some reason right? Like an unseen message perhaps?

A motive. And that bugged me all night.

What could that motive be?

It came to me what it was. The message was: "Question Everything!"; Very Greek. Very Socrates. Very college. Very Left.

Very Blue state-ish. California style.

Makes sense.

You know what I mean. The Left. Liberals. That veiled liberal message. We've all seen it before. Those people... Esa gente And still, I had questions.

Couldn't sleep a wink thinking on it.

Perhaps it was simply a poorly written movie?? Bad day at the Hollywood Writers Guild.

Bugged me though. All night.

Then like that sun came shining through the clouds of stupidity; I got it (again).

The message was not "Question Everything", but question SOME things.

But what?? Hmmm The word government was mentioned enough times to be an echo. Could be a clue... You heard it too.

It must be ......the Government!

Question the Government! Very Jeffersonian.

The government and the scientists. You heard it. Me too.

Don't trust the government's scientists. Guys like Robert Neville (they always die in the end). You know.... Richard Matheson's guy. Never bet on those guys.

That's not blue state-ish. Not Left. Nope that's......um red!

Red. Yes, I said a different color.

Red like my sister's politics. Serious serious red.

Red like Texas and Nevada. That Camo-R E D traditional message from the Right.

You know what I mean: Conservatives.

We've all seen it before. Those people... Esa gente.

Never trust government scientists during the apocalypse. Or was that a really bad pandemic? I don't know.

Stay with me here, I'm working.

Yet trust in...in.... the family (very red...) for advice? They would know for sure. Family first during the holidays always.

We love them so they must know!

Makes sense.

And what about those drugs? Vaccines uh no uh I meant pills the government wants them to take.

Drugs are bad, right?

Oh FYI, don't take those drugs. They could kill you. Something in them called poison. The government wants to poison us to make IT better. A better and more tolerable apocalypse.

It should be at the least tolerable. Tolerable during The Yuletide.

Message solved: Government bad, scientists bad, that drug really bad, and listen to the kids for crying out loud -the little ones know. Perfect sense.

A holiday message via Holly-wood. Merry Christmas.

Hunter Hunter (2020)

Horror minus instinct or reasoning

[7/10 · 2 January 2021]

An ok horror soup. Not great though by any stretch. Why? Because it lacks something called instincts and reasoning. For Example, if a baby crosses the path of a Bear in the woods it would be unfortunate for the baby. If it doesn't then it's fantasy. And fantasy while entertaining lacks the common reasoning to be considered REAL. Therefore ..like they say....its hard to watch. Why? Because it is folks doing things like we wouldn't do. Reacting as we most likely wouldn't have reacted. Suspense yes. Suspense mixed with frustration added to the mystery soup makes an ok dinner. Not great. But not too bad either. Just leaves one a little hungry for common sense.

The Color Out of Space (2010)

Way way way way over rated.

[1/10 · 7 March 2020]

I first read this story in high school. English class Ovt. Good slow burn creepy while not nearly as exciting as a Shadow Over Innsmouth, it kept your interest. This movie does not. Why? Why did I feel this way? Because the acting the actors the scenes the direction the lighting virtually everything is poor. So much so, I was curious if the director ( whom I blame the most) disliked H. P. Lovecraft himself?? Even community theatre organizations in small towns across America teach actors how to ' be in the moment'. My suggestion..... First listen to the free audio version on the internet THEN watch this crap. Tell me, am I wrong?

The Wind (II) (2018)

More like hot air

[4/10 · 17 February 2020]

Boring waste of time but the premise......oh yes the idea had so much promise. Horror in the western Plains. Yes. Not You know, we don't ask for much. The viewer I refer to. Us. The audience. I sit back and think perhaps, jus maybe, if given the tools I could do better. This is one of those moments. I believe I could have done better. Made something frightening or that at the VERY LEAST made some sense. A + b = c. Not this flick folks. Just...dumb.

How It Ends (2018)

Good little 'free' movie.

[8/10 · 23 July 2018]

The night before I watched How It Ends, I rented (yes, paid $5.99) to watch You Were Never Really Here and YWNRH aka ,Joaquin Phoenix, should have been the better movie. Paid + Joaquin Phoenix = Good Movie. Should have because I paid for it rather than watch NetFlix which in my home is free. And How It Ends was on Netflix. My point? For a free movie, I personally was very pleased with the non-stop action, light drama, excellent acting, and well so-so story. Keep in mind, IT WAS FREE. So I give it a solid 8 out of 10. Forest Whitaker, a heavyweight (pun) of an actor carries most of the film. He carries it by acting while performing an action while intertwined in the drama of a quasi science fiction, post apocalyptic landscape. Keep in mind, IT WAS FREE. So I give it a solid 8 out of 10. You Were Never Really Here has none of that. Keep in mind, I PAID FOR THAT. I gave that crumb a solid 3 out of 10. The point being, I was surprised that I found a movie on a Saturday night, on Netflix, Free, with only one big named actor and it was pretty good. Nope, it will not win awards like Mr. Phoenix may for YWNRH, but I was fun and kept my interest almost until the end. Surviving post apocalyptic America, be it zombies, earthquakes, or aliens, is popular with audiences. Add that IT WAS FREE and I gave it a solid 8 out of 10. So, for those smart film critics out there, I give you this to ponder before you criticize this movie. I dare you, DARE you to watch You Were Never Really Here after paying for it (relax, just pretend you did). Then critically consider a freebee NetFlix movie like How It Ends. Compare, contrast and consider why this little gem could not cast an 8? Bearing in mind.IT WAS FREE

You Were Never Really Here (2017)

Minimalism

[3/10 · 23 July 2018]

The term minimalism: spare, stripped, clear and plain best describes this movie. A film quite bare and stripped of action, and drama, but certainly not acting. No, Phoenix does the job for sure and will probably get a nomination for something or other by tapping into that darker side of his. Overall, the movie reminds you of Taxi Driver crossed with The Professional watered down by, well, dullness. The monotony begins about halfway through the film as you begin to wonder when the will character buildup end and a story begin. A story that would be filled with exciting accounts of imaginary people and events told for sake of entertainment. Our entertainment after we have paid the price of admission. Nope, You Were Never Really Here has none of that. Wrong unless of course you are Mrs. Phoenix, a huge fan, or close relative of Joaquin Phoenix. Someone who exists for the purpose of glaring at the actors face on endless close-ups. And I mean...endless. A lot. What a waste I thought. What a waste of a fine actor playing a really brutal bad guy, helping a good girl escape numerous well connected really bad guys. American viewers love a good contradiction right? The movie the Professional had it deadpan and held that idea until the credits rolled, but not here. The difference? The Professional had a first-rate dramatic, action filled, brutal, and perhaps heartbreaking story line. You Were Never Really Here has none of that. What a waste and a pity minimalism, in its finest purist form, could not have been more fun

Five Across the Eyes (2006)

A low budget beautiful movie.

[8/10 · 16 June 2018]

Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.

I first saw this movie 12 years ago. 2006. Someone burned it for me and said, hey, check THIS out. And I can say that I have never quite watched anything quite like it before or since. The movie has its moments. Few and far between, but taken as a whole, not so bad a Friday evening flick. Not so bad because I needed to know what was going to happen to our little B actors in the minivan. Sure, it's unusual, missing of deep meaning, lacking of a budget, void of good actors (and solid characters), and downright childish (at times). Very inconsistent with what we all are used to eh? Does that quantify as bad? Not in my view. Not at all.... I thought that the story, the acting, and the budget FIT. Fit as in what could happen if...... What If several girls are being chased by a mad woman on a dark lonely road? And if it did happen, would they act like really good A list actors? Or conversely; like those in the film? My guess is like in the film. Would ah big budget film feeding the directors need for realism and the writer's need of character analysis made this better? Talk about those deep rooted feelings when you're scared out of your wits?? Build that character! Nix, they'd be very similar to those idiotic chicks in that minivan driving fast away from some unexplained evil. Just like in that low budget beautiful movie. Oscar Wilde said it best: "Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative (movie fan)." Thank god this movie is inconsistent.

The Last Man on Earth (2015– )

Gilligan's Island meets the apocalypse

[8/10 · 2 September 2017]

My humble perspective.

I totally understand the bad reviews because every one of the negative reviews has some scrap of credit-ability. The show at times can be boring, repetitive, and the lead character a loathing slob. With that said, I cannot stop watching it. In fact I binge watch the episodes because I enjoy the Gilligan's Island/Faulty Towers/Beverly Hillbillies/Green Acres campy humor. Imagine the 1966 Batman movie meeting post apocalypse America. Ridiculous correct? This show is insanely ridiculous and I still cannot stop watching it. The show still holds that 7.7 rating so my guess is the many lovers just rate it and the haters review it. With more liking what they're watching. All the while, haters review it because it is not the post apocalyptic thriller they were so hoping for. As I was—at first anyway.

The Hollow Point (2016)

Spoilers? Not possible Here

[2/10 · 17 December 2016]

I understand that to review a movie one cannot give away facts about the film...therefore 'spoiling' it for others whom have not seen it (yet). The Hollow Point is impossible to spoil. It should be titled, 'A Hollow Point'. No, that's way to kind. A Hollow Point hints that it may actually have a point , which The Hollow Point undoubtedly does not.

I love movies you see. My wife could not comprehend why I went raving mad while watching this mess. She says, "Oh, it's only a movie". Nope, not to us true movie lovers who want to escape into another world, another place, and forget about everything else. You know, like HGTV does for her I suppose..... The Hollow point will not give you that escape people. It is beyond hollow. It will not, could not, because it does not mean anything. It's not action, not drama, and although it tries very hard to be a crime thriller, it reminds me of a black comedy minus the laugh track. Perhaps you're acquainted with that old Japanese crime drama Woody Allen changed the words on and made it into a comedy. What's Up Tiger Lily?..... Now that was funny stuff. But this Hollow Point had none of that magic. Perhaps it was meant to be serious. A grim crime tragedy (maybe) about Mexican cartel guns, no......no....about leaving or coming home or needing to leave that dead-end small town.. Or was it corruption in small town America?

I honestly couldn't tell you. But by the end of the movie you think it may actually be a comedy. A comedy hiding behind unrealistic premises in the brief gloom of an impossible plot so full of holes it made the German battleship, Bismarck, look better than a royal Caribbean cruise liner off Key West. Yes Florida. That statement has more logic than giving each movie character a total lack of good judgment. In other words, NOT doing things like we would do. Us......the public.

I read that Timothy Olyphant was to play the lead role but backed out. Assuming that he took a few minutes to view this screen gem, he must have been thanking his lucky stars ole Patrick Wilson landed the role. Oh yes....yup....he was pleased. One final hollow point, by the end of the movie I began drifting off.....(you know, watching but thinking about something else)......wondering if I had made the right choice. At first I thought about shaving, but then I thought...hell, tomorrows Sunday. It's OK. Then it hit me, did I make the right choice? The right choice in forking over seven dollars and ninety nine cents for this masterpiece instead of watching The Property Brothers on HGTV.

At least that show has a point..

Kristy (2014)

The Strangers meet the university

[7/10 · 21 November 2015]

"The Strangers" meet the university (student), except it was better than The Strangers. The Strangers was a bit of a downer juxtaposing chance and violence. They pick you and you die. True, while unsystematic random violence is to be feared it can hardly stand alone as dominant story-telling. Yea need a reason. 'WE' need a reason. This movie....Kristy.... provides that reason by means of meager, yet plausible, cultism. The first half of the movie is good scary stuff, the back half.............an action film. Run for your life kind of mania. But I nevertheless enjoyed it for some strange reason. Her expression perhaps.....................I'm not sure exactly, but i believe that was it. She was very convincing.

As Above, So Below (2014)

The popcorn was the best part...........

[10/10 · 13 September 2014]

Really, the popcorn we bought was the best part of this new film, As Above, So Below. And..............I wanted to like it. Not love the movie, but just 'like' it. Like it just a little I did not. Let me explain: About five minutes into this horror flick, the credibility of the central she-male (beautiful as she was) character ran about dry as Phoenix in August. Dry bro. The movie screen writing folks make an early semi-plaid attempt at boosting her intellectual resume, but she never comes even close to a Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones, or Nicholas Cage in as Ben Cates in National Treasure. She's not convincing at any point in the film actually. With this said, and knowing the whole underground (So Below) tunnel fixation is her suggestion, and everything she encounters is basically explained by Ms. Maybelline, I began to long for the $8.00 spent at the ticket window (relax, it was a matinée). 8.00 X two people mind you = 16.00. Sixteen dollars listening to "I know we can find it" on the over-used "shaky cam" projector style. Styles that make some viewers feel distracted, dizzy or sick. Some viewers like my wife. My wife was physically nauseated by this reality type movie cam, but I was ill thinking I had paid for this. Keep in mind; I really 'wanted' to like it.

Shame (2011)

Give him a break

[9/10 · 5 August 2012]

One citizens dreadful sex addict is another's' depressed and unhappy sport sex emperor. Wow, what a dreadful guy. The plight of the flawed chap singled out as an addict swimming in the sea of imperfection: Manhattan. And this is called a downward spiral of the sex addict? My lord, this role should have had a waiting list a two blocks long, If this movie is to be taken as authentic then I have quite a few friends who are in need of serious clinical help. Possibly a young my, is, me, included. Good thing he wasn't married, Sea Team Six would have to be called out on this pitiable devil. Enough with the sarcasm, the main character who is in search of a higher realm of well bring and happiness that getting off alone or with a hooker cannot/could not provide. We should all be so lucky eh? I would have relabeled this movie "the lonely and miserable life of the successful white New York hetero (somewhat) sexual single guy". If the movie critic focuses on the elements in the picture that didn't need to be there they would be wondering why is hangs out with low lifers? Perhaps his fault is the guilt that having a conscious provides, more than most of the other characters within his urban kingdom. Give him a break.

Battleship (2012)

Good movie.............

[10/10 · 4 August 2012]

I do not have anything but praise for this action adventure movie. Granted, it has flaws but the action scenes proliferate. Note: is it an battle/action movie? Does it have battle scenes and plenty of action? Yes and yes.. Reading some reviews of the movie, particularly those in honor of Liam, are out of place here. He is in the movie and great as usual, but his character is nothing but introspective. History is written, and rewritten here. A thought provoking yarn, this movie is not. But this film should appeal to children, teenagers, war vets, and old guys like me. Excellent film is every way. Careful not to spoil the plot or give any details, I would advise anyone to be patient and wait for the last round of this heavyweight fight. Give it a try.....

The Woman in Black (2012)

Was she scary yes, but dangerous? (Mild spoiler)

[7/10 · 17 July 2012]

It is spot on; The Woman in Black deserves the many accolades presented in this cinematic forum. It is a scary movie. I realized this as I lay in bed contemplating the movies short comings and realized that I would or could not peer down my darkened apartment hallway. Ahh, the veiled Victorian she devil had crept into my sub conscious. However (you knew that was coming), as an aged movie lover, it helps me to analyze the movie in hope of making it to sound and restful sleep. In my opinion, scary as the movie was, it lacked some-thing. Not something, but some 'thing'.

Let's backup a little here. If you have enjoyed the movies, The Others, The Ring, and read H.P. Lovecraft's A Shadow Over Innsmouth, you will feel some of those horror tales presented at times during the film. The beginning of the film starts out similar to H.P. Lovecraft's horror story in which a man travels to a spooky seaside town to investigate. The name Marsh is thrown in for good measure. The middle of the movie plays out very much like The Others as our strong and fearless lead character blindly falls prey to horror traps as they attempt to find enough clues to solve the mystery inside the house. And thirdly, The Ring plays heavy towards the end of the movie as our hero attempts to placate our Victorian evil by burying things in the correct holes. The Others, The Ring, and read H.P. Lovecraft's A Shadow Over Innsmouth were superior horror tales because the truth or wisdom presented by the end of those stories was very close to heart and would not go away. The evil or 'thing' was real and could get us (any of us). The Woman in Black was perilous only for those unfortunate to have offspring residing in town limits. Was she scary yes, but dangerous? That depends on your circumstances. As for me, I have no offspring and resolve to sleep soundly this night.