zinglorion Reviews

Hawkeye (2021)

Just ruined clint barton and makes me realize the saddest disney truth.

[2/10 · 27 November 2021]

Real simple..... Terrible watery dialog.

The direction looked like it was done by a community college film student.(even the backround music seemed outta place)

Steinfeld just comes off "fan girl" annoying.

Storyline was terrible, clipped along painfully.

SADDEST thing I realize....imdb is giving this "8.2" as a rating which means disney with there mega money must be either paying a "ratings farm" or are intimidating the mainstream reviewers.

Bottom line.....ugh! Its a putrid, quickly and poorly churned out dumpster fire of a series.

DC's Legends of Tomorrow: Fail-Safe (2016) Season 1, Episode 5

This show started with potential but has fizzled along the way.

[4/10 · 19 February 2016]

The writers of this have really gotten terribly sloppy and the acting has suffered as the show has progressed. Heres the pros- 1. Great production value 2. All star cast 3. Great concept to build from Cons- Examples of terrible writing in the episode "failsafe" are.... Why would hawkgirl drop Jax on the opposite side of the compound forcing him to run past guards?!?! Fly to the box for god sake!! If that isn't lazy writing I don't know what is?!!? Also when white canary is debating on taking the shot on stein and snart tells her she isn't a killer anymore. OK, throughout the show she's killed countless people and will probably continue to do so. Semantics. In the time she fights her "killer" instincts she could have started sniping guards. I am steadily tiring of this plodding poorly written piece of trash. I am fairly certain this show is targetted for 12 year olds who only like the flash and bang of it all.

John Carter (2012)

decent film, good, poor character development

[6/10 · 9 March 2012]

So I just saw the film. Pretty solid CG and FX, I did enjoy the on screen magic thoroughly. For those who don't know this movie was based on a scifi novel waaaayyy, ahead of its time by E.R. Burroughs. I think for the money Disney has spent on marketing and hype this movie will end up merely being a flash in the pan. The movie follows John Carter a former confederate soldier out trying to find gold in Arizona. Different than the book as he's apparently a miserable widower getting run down by the authorities constantly. Finds cave. Mysteriously transported to "Barsoom"(Mars) Meets the 4 armed Tharks. Yadda yadda. Entertaining flic, I gave it a 6. Far from the epics of Star Wars and Avatar which followed E. Burroughs formula. The movie moved along too rapidly to connect emotionally to the characters and even with the world and its stark differences from earth. Truthfully a bit disappointed in this screen adaptation of such a classic, however, it does beat the hell out of "Princess of Mars" which was based on the novels also. Anyway, catch on DVD when it comes out. Doesn't live up to the novels or hype.

Bloodlock (2008)

$100,000?! Tough to rip too hard into this....

[3/10 · 1 December 2010]

Alright, so first off, I try really hard not to "bag" on movies and as an avid horror buff, I try to find some redeeming qualities. With that being said, this movie is slightly entertaining. I liked the whole concept of evil locked in the basement, it reminded me of Blood Creek. That is where the similarities end. The female lead was convincing and a decent actress, the man who played her husband and sister were TERRIBLE! The make-up for the evil Vamp was pretty cheesy, but I do enjoy the "pirrahna mouthed" vamps as opposed to the "two pointy teeth" vamps. They look more menacing when it seems they could chew your face off as opposed to to just a double puncture throat suck. lol I've got to be honest though, this flic was free on hulu so I started watching, I did however skip a lot of parts. The only way I'd recommend this flic is if you were having a vampire themed party, were getting hammered, and could leave it on in the background while playing twister. Good effort on the parts of the producer/director and cast. Keep practicing with some polish this one would've been a lot better(and with a budget)

Deadland (2009)

not a bad flic...

[6/10 · 1 December 2010]

Alright so while it is lacking in some things we've grown accustomed to in a story as expansive as Post-apacolyptic worlds, ie., BIG CGI, extravagant fight scenes, etc., I do think they had a pretty decent story going, if not the budget. I thought the acting was pretty good for the most part. Probably most impressive was the cinematography, some beautifully panned scenes. I would definitely agree with one of the other reviewers and say this is more of a sci-fi drama than action flic. A lot of the scenes were meant to take you into a post apacolyptic world full of despair and angst, this however feels a bit staged since many of the people interacting in the film are in good shape, clean/new clothes, etc. All in all, not a terrible movie for a rainy day and some popcorn on your couch.

Alone in the Dark (2005)

not as bad as they say...

[7/10 · 1 December 2010]

Alright, so first off....what in the world were you expecting?!?! This isn't the 80's! Christian Slater isn't a powerhouse actor anymore, nor was he EVER! I still rather enjoyed seeing him in a "B" movie romp! I'm still not sure how Tera Reid got in this movie, she does well...STINK! And her terrible acting would be worth it if myself and the rest of the world didn't get to see her "pizza nipple" botched implants(she's not even sexy anymore) Alright, the story is fairly disjointed, but fun! Cinematography was pretty well done, and added a dark and creepy atmosphere. Direction was so-so, could've been tightened up a bit. Story left you suspending disbelief quite a bit, but all in all an interesting spin on things. I think the biggest problem is, this movie tries to be sort of a rip-off on Keanu Reeves tortured protagonist character in Constantine. This isn't academy award material but I would recommend it. I just looked up the review for "Repomen" starring Jude Law( a REAL stinker) and it scored a 6.3 while this is 2.3?!?!!? The world has gone mad! Anyway, check out this movie, it isn't looking for "cult horror" status, but it is entertaining and fun.

Blood Creek (2009)

Pretty good under rated flick

[7/10 · 1 December 2010]

I watched this as a $1 Red Box rental not expecting much....I was pleasantly surprised. Blood Creek set a great dark mood, the story needed a little work but was good nonetheless(Who isn't kinda fascinated with Hitlers leanings toward the occult) The story itself was fascinating even if it was a little bit underdeveloped. I'm not sure why so many people didn't "get" the ending?!?!I thought the acting was pretty decent. I even felt that creepy sensation at parts and a little anxiety for the protagonists. Plenty of gore for fans wanting that too. Anyway, as a die hard horror fan I would definitely recommend this entertaining Vamp-flick!

Harold and Maude (1971)

Harold and Maude as a ruler for dating

[27 December 2006]

I have watched this movie in an attempt to see why everyone likes it and alas....Nada! I do however use this movie in my dating life and as a rule if the girl in questions voices her "love" of this movie, I generally go the other way. I have yet to meet many emotionally "balanced" fans of this flick. But...yeah, for it anyway it does help me weed out the manic depressives in my life. Anyway, more power to those that find it entertaining. I also find those same H and M fans tend to like pedantic junk like Prairie Home Companion also. Again, it is a useless horrible movie. Anyway, feel free to comment me back on your opinion I'd love to hear a witty retort.