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Reviews
The Beekeeper (2024)
Beyond Brutally Bad and then Adam Basil's character came on
The first 10 minutes were at least a little different and thereafter it descended into the same old stereotypical genre that gives oxygen to Statham's career. Every single movie he touches is the same and you'll be making the same mistake that I did if you hope for something else. Heavens. This movie is awful but it descends into another whole new level of hell when Adam Basil's character comes on. A brutally bad South African accent is actually only the 3rd worst part of this character but its actually exceeded by his painful over-acting and overall implausibility, and the fact that he is dressed like a banana but is allowed to be at a tea party held on the president's estate? All I can say in the man's defence is that he is not alone in the terrible acting that has added no value to the lives of anyone who has seen this movie. My only hope is that the last of the ammunition was saved for the screenwriters and production team.
Please run as fast as you can away from this. You'd have a better evening looking at the advertisements on the walls of a bus station.
Fire Country (2022)
I am wincing like an electrocuted cat
Why does the screenwriting team hate its audience or the cast or both? This script is so weak that its causing me physical pain. Every cheap cliché joins generic fire fighting scenes to give a person all the joy of Deja Vu with a side order of physical wincing. Theiriot just said "Lets save some children".
I loved Theiriot in Seal Team but in this series his over eager "let me run into all danger and save everyone" every time, all the time whilst saying something corny and pithy, is exhausting and irritating and......the worst thing I can ever say about entertainment.... ENTIRELY PREDICTABLE. I'm only on episode 2 and short of a miracle, I wont be bothering with episode 3.
The Killing of a Sacred Deer (2017)
Nope, this emperor has no clothes. A good thriller ruined by "atmospheric over-controlling directing"
I hate movies that are pronounced to be exceptional and award winning and yet leave you feeling less worthy if you fail to buy into the hype. I am a reasonable intelligent person who wants the best for a cast of people that I normally hold in high regard, so its sad that I couldnt get into a production that is trying to be too clever and cutting edge, and results in being so pretentious instead of just letting a great cast tell a good story. This reminds me of the childrens' story of The emperor with no clothes". I'm just going to say it: The emperor is naked so get over it.
I dont want to hear that this is typical for the Director's style. That just translates to being a warning that this man has made other movies like this, so be careful. This films "walk among us...."
If you can stand the wooden delivery (which must surely have driven the actors nuts being made to speak like that), and if you can turn down the volume for the few times there is freaky weird music in the background, there are enough intriguing twists to a very freaky chilling horror story so its not a complete right off. Colin Farrell and Barry Keoghan are very good, Kidman sadly is just Kidman.
Top Gunner: Danger Zone (2022)
THIS IS CAR CRASH MATERIAL. You cannot avert your eyes
I can only presume this is training material for acting classes and film-making classes to illustrate perfectly how NOT to act and EXACTLY what awful script writing and directing looks like. The casting agencies were instructed to find the most annoying and terrible cast, and this is the only success I can report. They nailed it!! The most useless and annoying actors were accummulated in one place. Let training begin. We have over-acting, under-acting, acting whilst under the influence, acting whilst asleep, acting whilst devoid of any will to live. The storyline is so brutally unrealistic as to be quite entertaining for all the wrong reasons. And to ensure you grit your teeth for the entire duration, it is rounded off with the worst sound track that could be produced by a string orchestra gamely playing on whilst, I presume, fighting off an engulfing hoard of fire ants. The second and only other success I can report is that thankfully this movie is quite short.
The Mother (2023)
BRILLIANT DRINKING GAME
One tequila shot for every cliche, one shot for every worn out adage, one shot for every predictable action, You'll be drunk so quickly you wont feel any pain watching the rest of this awful movie. Of course she resets ger own dislocated shoulder. Of course a car chase has to drive through or over a funeral, wedding party, street stalls and rolling fruit! I'd tell you more but I'm too drunk....... This movie allows an enormous amount of time to contemplate how Jennifer Lopez never ages. This has very little to do with the movie but is a wonderful and much needed distraction. That, and how she got the knots out of her hair allowing it to flap loose when out on a motor bike. These are the great unanswerable questions that make the time thankfully pass. There are too many other great movies to watch. Head on to one of those.
The Diplomat (2023)
Intelligence high class TV - genuinely recommend this!
Very impressive professional production with string acting. Its an intricate plot that still finds time for humour. The characters are engaging and appealing (unless they're supposed to be hated in which case they achieve that too). The only thing that drive me nuts was that Keri Russell's hair always looked dirty and/or unkempt? It was hugely distracting.
This is not in the same league as Madam Secretary. Its much much better. Interiors and exterior filming are impressive and credible. The one exception is the aircraft carrier in the first scene but this can be forgiven. The complexities of the Ambassador's relationship with her husband is a story line so interesting as to be deserved of its own series. Watch this. You wont be sorry.........unless you're a hairdresser in which case you might be a little irritated but you'll still be entertained.
The Watcher (2022)
I'm a sucker for punishment
I was intrigued in the first 2 episodes, and then this descended into total lunacy. Trying to work out who to send the bill for my time watching this to the end. I owe myself a deep DEEP apology. Naomi Watts is usually brilliant but is so wooden and I have to conclude that it's because she's as deeply embarrassed by all of this as I am deeply irritated, and then, on the subject of irritation, I am not sure why the narrator reading the letters had to have such a ridiculously irritating voice/manner. Jennifer Coolidge and Mia Farrow.....ugh!! Stay away. So many better uses for 7 hours of your life.
House of the Dragon (2022)
Drat!!!!
I really wanted to love this as much as I loved GoT vut in every way - except for the music - it's a poorer cousin. Sadly, all of the characters are either unlikable or insipid, and the casting involves choosing faces that are just so slappable and annoying. I'm rooting for the dragons to take them all out in a giant but unremarkable furnace. The older Rhaenya is lovely as is the first leader of the Queens Guard. Maybe the dragons could kindly spare them? It lacks the lustre and film quality of GoT, the special effects are not really special. It's a GoT wannabe done on a low budget. I am disappointed and I really wanted to love this. Drat!!
9-1-1 (2018)
Run!! RUN!!! Run away as fast as you can
Far fetched disasters and emergencies, wooden acting, screenwriters who should be subjected to the reality of some of these ridiculous scenarios as punishment for the overuse and abuse of every cliché known to man. Just run away from this horror story and save yourself an hour of your valuable life. Its too irritating to even be useful as escapism. The whole thing is one giant predictable spoiler. Its truly insane that its lasted as long as it has?
The Power of the Dog (2021)
A bit "emperor's clothes"
I am sorry but I dont get it. I can appreciate some incredible photography, and Benedict Cumberbatch was as brilliant as always but the movie felt cumbersome, wooden and a bit pretentious. It was also oh so slow!!
American Rust (2021)
SPOILER ALERT but maybe you need to be warned
The ending can only be explained by the entire cast, writing team, production crew, etc all being inexplicably indisposed at the same time and indefinitely. I thought my TV was malfunctioning and hadnt shown me the last half hour, and then the credits rolled and my forehead furrowed permanently. What the ........??? Brilliant cast, great acting but if there isnt a Season 2 it may be a waste because of the ending.
9-1-1: Lone Star (2020)
ridiculous and improbable storylines ruin this series
This needs fresh scriptwriters at a minimum. The stories and accidents to which the team respond, are implausible and there is never a reasonable, dare I say "normal" incident. The characters are not very engaging but it could be solved with improvements to the storyline.
Ratched (2020)
Background music so distracting
The music is loud and incessant and ever present and so distracting that I cant really focus on the performances or storyline. Not sure I am going to get through the 3rd episode. Sarah Paulson is very good but I cant engage with the other characters.