KCohere Reviews

Ax 'Em (1992)

Yes friends, you can make a movie for $22.58.

[1/10 · 23 April 2004]

Without exaggeration, I can safely say that this is the absolutely worst, most low-rent movie I have ever seen in my life. It simply has to be seen to be believed, and even when I was watching it I could hardly believe what I was seeing. Everything about it is atrocious from the effects to the "acting".

For one thing, I have never seen a movie that had a box around the picture. It's really hard to believe that this isn't someones bad student picture that accidently got on the shelves of the video store. The fact that this movie was actually distributed boggles my mind. The sound is so bad you can't hear half of what's being said. The direction is non-existent. The characters are the dumbest, most annoying jerks ever. The effects are so cheap they belong in an Ed Wood movie, not in a film made in 2002. The production values are worse that Manos: the Hands of Fate (chew on that for awhile). I can't say enough how phenomenally bad this movie is. Michael MFume, I hope you are hanging your head in shame.

Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 (1987)

Should be a comedy

[5 August 2003]

I used to think this movie was criminally bad, but now I've come to appreciate how uproarious it is. Everytime I see it, I laugh myself silly. The acting is so horrid, it's hilarious. The situations are ridiculous. The fact that half of the movie is excerpts from the first one is jaw-dropping. The movie is much more enjoyable if you don't take it seriously and just see it is as (unintentional) comic genius.

"It's garbage day!"

The Full Monty (1997)

I Love This Movie!

[10/10 · 17 May 2003]

No matter how many times I've seen it, and there's been lots, I laugh so hard it hurts. The characters are so endearing, especially little Nathan, that you just love them all. The music is great, and there are moments that tugged at your heart as well as make you laugh out loud. And the final stripping scene is fabulous! Glad to see Gaz finally got in time with the music. ;)

Feardotcom (2002)

Awful

[4/10 · 27 April 2003]

All I have to say is, the most boring horror movie or thriller or what-the-heck-ever I've ever seen. I barely remember it because I got bored and stopped paying attention half-way through, then had to rewind to the parts I missed and barely paid attention to that. Also:

>>>>>minor spoiler<<<<<

The so-called love story bugged me because I had no idea where it came from. One minute they meet, the next, they're in love. It was like I blinked and missed a whole scene where they supposedly fell for each other. I like the idea.

>>>>>end minor spoiler<<<<<

The most interesting thing about the movie is that creepy face on the box art. I like the idea. It's topical, but weak execution.

Sexy Beast (2000)

The Title

[24 March 2002]

I think I read somewhere that Sexy Beast means money or crime or something like that. Something that gets you into trouble, but it so seductive that it pulls you in anyway. I don't think it has to do with any of the characters being sexy (though they are beastly).

That said, I really enjoyed the movie. I have closed captioning so whenever I got stuck on dialogue that helped a lot. I thought of Logan as a mad pitbull, or maybe a terrier, small but tenacious, who grabs hold of you and won't let go.

***********************Spoiler*************************************

It's too bad he had to die, he was the most interesting character in the movie.

But I absolutely loved that last shot. I laughed out loud at that.

Definitely a movie worth checking out.

Phantasm III: Lord of the Dead (1994)

Short and Sweet

[10/10 · 24 November 2001]

I love the movie. I think its great fun, suitably gory, and I get such a kick out of watching Reg's awkward attempts at seduction. Will he ever actually succeed? Lol. I enjoy the movie everytime I watch it and thats all I need.

The Blair Witch Project (1999)

I really enjoyed it.

[4 November 2001]

I saw the movie before all the hype so I didn't get a chance to be let down. I don't think I would have anyway. I love this movie because it was so original and yes, it scared the bejeebers out of me. Imagine, a movie that uses the viewers imaginations to be frightening, and not chainsaw-weilding killers. What a concept!

Unbreakable (2000)

I liked it until the end

[11 August 2001]

I just have to say that I was going along with it until that little made-for-tv-movie coda at the end. S P O I L E R I liked the fact that Elijah turned out to be the supervillian. It really surprised me and really gave the movie a more comic book feel. But when it said that he was put in a mental instutition, what does that mean? If he's really insane, than how do they explain everything David Dunn could do? It seems to invalidate the whole movie to me. If they'd only left those lines out and left it open ended, it would have been much better.

It (1990)

Better than the book? I don't think so!

[8/10 · 28 May 2001]

As one of the few Stephen King fans who actually like most of his movies (this one included), I disagree that it's better than the book. The book is one of my favorites, and tho I liked the movie a lot, it's not even in the same league. However, I urge people to see the movie AND read the book, and draw your own conclusions.

Phantasm IV: Oblivion (1998)

Terrible Disappointment

[29 April 2001]

I really liked the Phantasm series, mostly because I think Reggie is such a crack up, so I was eagerly awaiting the fourth installment. I couldn't wait to see what happened after the third one. I was so disappointed I could have screamed. I expected the sequel to advance the series, but we just went backward. Half the movie was flashbacks. And what happened to the little boy? It was boring, pointless, and my favorite, Reggie, looked old and used up. It just seemed like they didn't even try with this one and it was just made for the money. I see that there is a new one coming out. Please, redeem yourselves and make that one worth the price of a rental.

The Color Purple (1985)

Beautiful

[10/10 · 28 January 2001]

Absolutely one of my favorite movies of all time. I have seen it at least a hundred times and I can't go through it without crying. I defy anyone to watch the reunion of Celie and Nettie, or Shug and father and not feel your eyes getting misty. Whoopie Goldberg should have one an award for amazing portrayal. And for the person who said you can't love the movie if you loved the book, wrong! Im a testament to that.