ailiaq Reviews

Metamorphosis (I) (2007)

Steaming Pile of Crap

[1/10 · 29 September 2010]

If I could have given negative stars, I would have. WHY, Mr. Lambert, did you choose to do this?!? Please, fire your agent.

I won't bother detailing any of the story line, because I fear that some poor soul might decide it was worth watching. Suffice to say that a high school creative fiction writing class could have come up with a better story. The AV club could have made a better attempt at filming it, in fact.

There should be a law against movies this bad. Or, at least stiff penalties for having the gall to call this "entertainment."

The acting was HORRIBLE. The plot was AWFUL. There was NOTHING redeemable about this waste of time at all.

I think I'd rather have a root canal. Or chew glass.

The Phantom of the Opera (2004)

I own the DVD and each and every time I watch it...

[10/10 · 2 January 2007]

...I morph into a weeping idiot. DISCLAIMER: I have never seen the stage production, so I can't compare the two, but I can applaud it for its pure lushness of music and vivid setting. This movie NEVER fails to transport me outside of myself. I have heard the stage production recordings (the stage show opened when I was a senior in high school and I had several good friends who were self-described "Phanatics".) The movie version has a full orchestra behind it, and this lends it a richness that is a bit lacking from the stage production recordings I have heard. As for Gerard Butler's singing, I can only say that his "rock and roll" type voice is perfect for conveying the Phantom's soul-tearing loneliness, which is, of course, half of what makes him so appealing. I don't think I've ever been as moved by music as consistently as with the soundtrack to this movie. I watched this for the first time by myself, which is a terribly good thing, given I blubbered for a solid hour after this. (Ladies, if you want a good cathartic cry, rent this one!!) The combination of the set, costumes, storyline, and settings, are all "overdone". They assault the senses and leave the viewer unable to remain detached. This is a wonderful thing, in my view, as it allows the viewer to immerse themselves. I'm planning a special trip to London for the sole purpose of seeing this show. I live in the US, so you can gauge my fascination with this.

I will say one other thing: "All I Ask of You" is quite possibly one of the most romantic, enchanting songs I have ever had the pleasure to hear.

Candles on Bay Street (2006 TV Movie)

Boooorrrrring and oh so predictable.

[1/10 · 26 November 2006]

Okay, I've seen enough Hallmark movies to know that they are formulaic and sappy. That's OK, in very small doses. At times they can be as sugary sweet as the cards they make. (And don't even get me started on the commercials in between. Yikes! Anyone here a dentist?) This movie, though was insanely slow and I knew right from the beginning what the end was going to be. The characters were transparent and the dialog was pure tripe. The only upside to this movie....zzzzzzzzzz...Whoa! Dozed off there a bit, sorry! Well, if you are an insomniac, this is one to watch. I normally like Eion Bailey, but I'm afraid he couldn't save it. That is all.

Imagine Me & You (2005)

Beautiful Love Story (Possible Spoilers-Sorry)

[7/10 · 20 November 2006]

I've rented this movie twice now and will no doubt purchase it eventually. I'm a fan of Matthew Goode (for all his young age) and would love to see him in something with more grit, but his performances are always so enjoyable it didn't matter. The writing was perfect for the script- lots of very funny one-liners.

On to the bad: The ONLY gripe I had was that Heck didn't really cry on the roof. His face scrunched up like he was crying, but no tears...My guess is that it would have taken away from the warm fuzzies you got when the girls finally got together. It was clear that he was very invested in the relationship, so I chalked up the no tears thing as more of a resignation on Heck's part.

I noticed that Thandie Newton was thanked at the end of the credits. Was she the girl on the plane at the end? Certainly did not look like herself at all (although I've never seen her look anything less than a goddess).

That the couple was a homosexual one was a total non-issue as far as the story is concerned (and for me), and I felt that they deliberately stayed away from exploring that issue too much. Keeping the audience warm and fuzzy is quite a balancing act while making a movie about a cheating wife and lesbianism, I'm sure.

If you like feel good love stories then see this one. I have to really like a movie to purchase it, and this one is on my to-buy list.

Mission: Impossible III (2006)

Derivative. Soulless. Yawn.....

[2/10 · 18 November 2006]

SO glad I only borrowed the disc from my roommate, who had rented it. It's a shame because I really enjoyed MI2. Cruise is wooden and has that nutty glint in his eye most of the time. The premise, even as predictable as it was, would have been enjoyable had they taken the time to at least try and get the audience even a tiny bit invested in the characters. I love action movies, but this one is all fluff (explosions, fast driving etc.) and no heart. The movie moves SO quickly that you don't get a feel for the characters. I can suspend my disbelief in the silly things they expect a viewer to believe with regard to technology, but if I don't give a hoot about the characters and the story has been told a thousand times before (and better) why should I care about FX?

Darkness (2002)

Subtle yet truly frightening

[8/10 · 15 November 2006]

This movie is not your typical American horror flick (which makes sense since it's a Spanish film). It's a far cry from the gory, cliché-ridden and painfully explained horror movies that American audiences are used to.

Darkness disturbed me on different levels. One of them was the family dynamics (notably the father's mental issues), and the suggested potential for violence. The other was the supernatural element, which was used in a subtle and truly frightening manner.

I've seen thousands of horror movies in my lifetime, and this is one of the best. However, if you are not one for nuances and feel that gore is a requisite from a horror movie, then stay away from this one.