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Reviews
Crime Scene: The Vanishing at the Cecil Hotel (2021)
A complete letdown
Lots of people have observed that Netflix pads their shows, and this is a text book case. This could have been- and SHOULD have been- about a 70 minute special and did not need to be 4 episodes.
The first two episodes start out strong and are really well done. Then the third episode comes in and we're subjected to YouTube basement types talking about the illuminati and comparisons to an American remake of a Japanese supernatural thriller.
Ultimately the information that was revealed in the fourth episode (autopsy findings, medication, water tank lid placement) would have negated the need for any talk of conspiracy theories and, like I said, made for a nice 70 minute special.
IF you want to waste an afternoon with this, just watch the first two episodes and then jump to the middle of the fourth and you'll have a somewhat satisfactory experience.
Oh, one more thing. This does a real disservice to houseless people and those struggling with mental health. This is definitely a "do better" situation all around.
I Was Lorena Bobbitt (2020)
Not terrible, but the actress is insufferable
Overall, this is pretty well made for Lifetime. There is a lot of care in depicting the early 90s and having the actual Lorena Bobbitt narrate is a nice touch.
However! Any time the lead actress, Dani Montalvo, needs to show "emotional vulnerability" it's just simpering, stammering, and drawing out the delivery of lines. Maybe it was the director's choice, but it was the wrong one. Consequently, the movie starts out pretty good but becomes increasingly annoying and you're ready for it to be over.
Jack Pierce: The Maker of Monsters (2015)
Tedious
While this should be a fascinating look at the career of an unsung hero of the golden age of Hollywood, it's a rather dull and plodding effort.
The narration is excessive, too verbose, and accompanied by harried recreations of letters, interviews, and newspaper articles.
It's best to skip this one, sadly.
Zumbo's Just Desserts (2016)
Perfectly fine first season, TERRIBLE second season
The first season of this show is a perfectly enjoyable baking challenge show. There's lots of neat desserts, and would be at home on really any cooking channel.
The second season, however, is a frustrating and annoying experience. It becomes clear early on that Catherine is who the judges (producers as well?) want to win the competition. She can do no wrong. They "tut tut" over her mistakes but when she clearly should go into the Zumbo Test, miraculously she doesn't.
I fully expected at the end for her to win, because that's what had been telegraphed all season. What I find infuriating and what has caused me to swear off watching future seasonal (as well as the Zumbo starring Sugar Rush for good measure) is Catherine getting a perfect score. Presumably it was given to avoid a tie and one supposes there was no provisions for her winning in the event of a tie.
All in all, it was an enjoyable series that lost all credibility.
Anya (2019)
Big ideas, poorly executed
Let me begin by saying I have a science background, so I appreciate what the filmmakers tried to do with this movie. Ultimately, all of the ideas don't come together here.
The romance angle of the movie is fine, if a little underdeveloped and hampered by the amateur filmmaking techniques and mediocre acting. The storyline involving the isolated people should have been its own movie as that was more interesting than the main story.
The science presented in this movie is plausible, but if you don't have a science background, a lot of the technical terms that are thrown about may be confusing and too much to keep up with.
Overall, this is sadly a movie you can skip.
Bullet Head (2017)
Unwatchable
Let's get something out of the way first and foremost: if you're a normal person that doesn't like cruelty to animals, skip this movie.
I don't know why Adrian Brody is in this, but I guess we all have bills to pay. His acting is wasted on a pretty terrible script.
Everything that should be backstory or subtext is described in detail, often in a flashback with characters spewing laughably bad dialogue. But John Malkovich knows which tank he's in... [eyeroll.gif]
Definitely skip this one.
Star Trek: Discovery (2017)
Don't trust haters and watch for yourself
This is now on DVD and Blu-ray, so you can rent it from your local library instead of subscribing to CBS All-Access.
Let's get something out of the way: yes, this IS Star Trek. The people saying it isn't must want the single unit episodes of TOS, TNG, most of DS9 and VOY. This series embodies everything about Star Trek: exploration, what it means to be human, justice, the needs of the many outweighing the needs of the few, plus some science-fiction.
Yes, the concept of mold connecting everything in the universe (and alternate universes) is outlandish and possibly laughable, but not more so than many other things the franchises have sent our way (how many times have various crews met God?) After a few episodes it didn't bother me as much as it initially did and I got involved in the characters and stories, which is what this franchise is really all about. If you have a problem with gay people, then go be a hermit in the woods because not only is that storyline handled appropriately, it makes for some powerful storytelling towards the end.
If you're upset about how the Klingons look, I don't know what to tell you. The TOS Klingons who were just white guys in brown makeup still exist in reruns.
More to the point of each series: it may not be for you. I personally detest Voyager but love the often reviled Enterprise. However, all of these series (and the 2009 movie series) are meant for people of the time they were made. If it's not to your sensibilities, then there's nothing really for you except to watch reruns of what you do like. But know that things shouldn't be the same as they were in your youth. Gene would want you to keep going, boldly.
Sugar Rush (2018)
It just doesn't work
I didn't believe the other reviews about how annoying the host is, but it turns out he is. He contributes nothing to the show.
The judges all seem to always agree with each other and offer vague, subjective critique based on expectations that at least the final product shows them not conveying, so I don't know why they're faulting the contestants.
The same company that makes this also makes Nailed It, and they (and you!) should focus on that show instead.
The Doll (2017)
Wish I could give it a 0
Any review of this movie above a 1 must be suspect. Either they didn't see it or it's their first movie ever and have no standards to base a good movie on.
The acting is non-existent, the story is incomprehensible, and everyone just plods around the house such that if you watch it at 3x speed it looks like they're moving normally. Incidentally, if you watch it at 3x speed, it's only 27 minutes long which is what the running time should be.
I could not give this a letter grade, instead I'd say "Incomplete", and everyone knows the worst thing you can see on a transcript is an "Incomplete."
Punch-Drunk Love (2002)
Look closer.
Hands down this is a fantastic film. Many people are passing it over and scoffing at it because Adam Sandler plays some emotionally dysfunctional schlub and can't see why Emily Watson's character would fall for him.
The film is beautiful in that it makes no explanations for why people are the way they are. They're just messed up. (Sandler's character can partially be attributed to the way his sisters treated him growing up.) Emily Watson falls in love with him because she's emotionally skittish too; not to the degree of Sandler, but still.
Philip Seymour Hoffman is great, though not predominate in the film, as he should be. The film is about a man trying to get through life and find love.
This film is amazing. Paul Thomas Anderson got Adam Sandler to act. It behooves you to watch this film.