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Reviews
Passenger 57 (1992)
This Dog Deserves Heinz-57
Suspension of disbelief can only go so far. A plot as silly as Passenger 57's pushes the notion of "suspension of disbelief" to its outer limits. This film is utterly idiotic. Why didn't the terrorists just shoot Wesley "John Cutter" Snipes when they easily could have? Better yet, why oh why didn't the terrorists shoot the entire cast and crew of this lame offering? Yeah, yeah, I know--a Hollywood entre requires 88+ minutes of filling.
Serving suggestion: Take Passenger 57, microwave on high for 60 seconds, apply bun and copious Heinz-57 sauce to kill the foul taste, chomp it down and send this doggy on its way to where it belongs--the collective waste tank of all the worst Hollywood has ever excreted.
Super Fly (1972)
The Quintessential 70's Blacksploitation Flick
I want to throw down all kinda superlatives for this, the grandaddy of all blacksploitation flicks, but I'm limited to only 1,000 words! This movie has groove, baby, and tons of it. Amateurish acting and other weak points do nothing to dilute the overall effect of Superfly. I happened to catch this movie right after seeing the Shaft 2.0 remake with Samuel L. Jackson, and there is absolutely no comparison. This film, through pure artistry overriding small budget, manages to create a gritty realism that no amount of industry money could ever buy. It sets one smack dab in the middle of the cocaine underworld of Harlem, and fairly seethes with authenticity. This stuff is 220 grit, people. I do believe Youngblood is Snoop Dog's role model in life. Also, do my ears deceive me, or were they "cold chillin'" in '72?! Forget Scarface, forget Blow (tho good). Superfly is the only cocaine dealin' movie you need to see. I give it 5 lines out of 5, Youngblood. This is the rare film in which the sum is greater than the parts, to use an old saw. I think that ol' saw applies in this case.
Lock Up (1989)
"he's going to rape my girlfriend!"
This film is so bad that I don't know where begin to describe the ways in which it sucks. So I won't even try. Just let it be known that every single frame of this stinky thing reeks with a stunted, simplistic, faulty, cliched vision of narrative in film. An unholy alliance between Stallone, the star, Flynn, the director, and Smith, the screenwriter, combine together flawlessly to create a story that is so overloaded with schmaltzy cliché after cliché that I have lost any of the remaining respect I might have had for any of the supporting cast (Sutherland, Sizemore, Amos). While the film claims to have an individual writer, director, and producers, somehow I get the feeling that all of the labor is channeled through Stallone's mutant mind, and every scene is determined to build up the myth of Stallone as the greatest hero guy ever splayed onto a screen. Good gawd. Am I wrong, or is this guy in control of the entire thing, and is he not a completely overboard egomaniac with a retarded, child-like need to make sides so clearly drawn that even the blind could not miss them? The movie is so grossly constructed that it should be a child's cartoon. I think Stallone's body of work also points toward my assertion that he is behind the wheel on this one, and this movie is the culmination of a career bent on destroying any advance in film language that has been made over the past fifty years. This movie is a red flag, a window into the process of a barely-literate hack who has given nothing to the world of film (it would not take much) and should be viewed as an artifact of just how completely bad a slick Hollywood production can possibly become. I could go on in detail about the various ways this movie stinks beyond belief, but why bother to critique this steaming heap in depth? I will only say that one needs only to pull slightly at a stray hair to send this movie into an irreversible critical implosion. This movie is child's play. Age 4-7. Unfortunately, there are sexual references and profanities, so this movie has no legitimate audience. Stallone is horrifyingly bad. His only gimmick is his heavy breathing. Avoid people who enjoy this film. There is something very wrong with them.
Basket Case (1982)
Fun laughable low budget horror
I enjoyed basket case purely for it high camp value. I'm not going to write a big dissertation on it today so just let it be said that if you like films like Texas Chainsaw Massacre and 2000 maniacs then you'll like this one. They're all cut from the same cloth--a cheesecloth perhaps?
The Incredible Torture Show (1976)
this film is a bizarre orgy of depravity
Don't be fooled as I was 18 years ago by this film's box's tendency to make it sound like just another slasher. It is not that at all. It is a journey into the bizarre underground of extreme sado-masochism in 1970's New York and takes scenes of torture to some pretty gory lengths. Of course this is what makes it worthwhile to view. I haven't seen it in years but I have always been bothered by this question: how much were these guys really into this stuff? Indeed the production quality seems to reek of ultra-sleazy 1970's NY porn, and looking at the director's tiny body of barely-above-ground work listed in IMDb I have to wonder what kind of moviemaking he really spent most of his time at. I think the film actually allows, for the more curious of us, a glimpse into a world of perversion and depravity that actually exists. As others here have mentioned, Bloodsucking Freaks does have a lot of great humor in it, but if you are in any way offended (and this applies to probably more people than not) by the viewing of torturous and degrading and even murderous treatment of naked female slaves then you'll want to avoid this title. I will put it aside into that category that includes the most controversial films--nazi porn, fringe propaganda, ufo films etc....the weirdest of the weird.
Freeway (1996)
Witherspoon is quite impressive...
Very briefly, I liked the movie OK, but it was Reese Witherspoon's performance as an intelligent-but-trashy abused runaway teen hooker that really impressed me. Also I liked the guy from TV's "The Pretender" as Larry the crack-smoking step dad.
What's Up, Tiger Lily? (1966)
My own funniest film ever pick
I worship this movie. Its the funniest movie I've ever seen hands down. And how can you have a cheaper budget than by stealing a crappy japanese action movie and adding your own dialog. Since I was first introduced to it in 1988 I've viewed it about 100 times and I'll pull it out whenever I need a good laugh. So it shows an early example of Allen's infatuation with young asian gals--is that any reason to pass up a classic? I think not. And if you like old psychedelic era bands its got plenty of party shots featuring the lovin' spoonful. In fact their contribution of the entire soundtrack is quite good. It has a thousand great gags and and it ain't politically correct babes. I can't mention anything really except that the plot revolves around a real-sounding but nonexistent country's quest for a lost egg salad recipe--an egg salad so good you could plotz. I give this one a 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10. Phil Moscowitz, YOU ARE THE MAN